Crack and my teenager...wtf to do

[Sin Cut]

she's eighteen dude.

Did you stay at home when you were eighteen? would you have stayed if you're ordered to?

At least, to me, an order to stay home would've work just the opposite.

Then again I did live a month on the street when kicked out of home.

[dolphin]

omg, my teenage daughter who has everything going for her(she'll be 18 tuesday) wants to go back out with a guy who does crack. they dated a few months ago and on about the 3rd date he took her to a crack house and she tried it!! when she got home at 3am i was ready to die, she was so messed up and could not stop chewing on her lip and talking stupid shit. so i did not let him come back, but now shes about to be 18- guess whos trying to show up again.,.i talked to him tonight and it wasnt good. he knows i forbid it but what can i do, shell be 18. ive told her if she sees him she has to move,,man i would die if that happened, you see she lost her father when she was 5 (he had cancer) and we have been very close. god i dont know what to do. pray a lot, but i actually want to hurt this guy real bad.. any suggestions or advice.

I understand that you want to point the finger at the crackhead guy but Pebbles, the real underlying issue lays within your daughter.

For some reason or other, she obviously has low self esteem.  For some reason she must think that this guy is the only kind of guy that she can attract.

Why do I say this?  Because we've all experienced it.  Think about your downfall person who you were involved with?  Why were you attracted to them?  Did they treat you right?

The answers are you were attracted to them because they had a dark side and did they treat you right, probably not.

You say your daughter is close to you but lost her father due to cancer when she was 5.  Your daughter didn't have a father figure in her life so maybe this guy fills that void?

Regardless of why she wants to hang out with him, the underlying problem goes back to your daughter's insecurities.

You should explain to her that she shouldn't sell herself short and it's okay to be single and wait for your prince charming.  They do come to you.  You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your true prince.

At 18, you feel you are infallible to anything and everything.  What ever you do, KEEP that close bond with your daughter.  Don't kick her to the curb or kick her out.  Communicate with her.  My mom turned her back on my brother when he got into drugs and had she been open minded and realized my brother had self esteem issues, she would still have him as a son and more importantly, as a friend.

Just some advice.  You don't have to follow it or you can tell me I am full of shit.  But, again, we all have had downfall persons and it's really due to our own insecurities that lay deep within ourselves.

[horsey]

my sister is on drugs pretty bad.ruining her career plans an all.i feel there is nothing i can do.till she asks for help herself.i watch her every day geting screwed up.the drug she does is very hard stuff.i even thought maybe if i did it with her.then she would be with someone safe.but i soon found out through a close friend.the drug i was doing had rat pioson in it.well ive never touched it again.thankz to my close friend.but she remains doing this drug to this day my sister.it hurts to see someone you love go down that road.and no more hard drugs for me ,just weed & beers.i learned my lesson well didn't i.

[SLCPUNK]

Thank you all very much for this good advice! I have been thinking about getting her to read this thread. your so right in that she always thinks im trying to spoil her fun,,you just dont know what i have accepted for her,,ive been thru the goth guy, redneck, pothead, total user,mohawks,guy who takes pills prescribed for his dog, jesus i dont even like to think about it..and i have been very nice to these, well most of em. but when it comes to crack

Have you registered on any recovery forums yet??

You need to talk to people who understand not only addiction, but the dynamics that go along with it. Including your relationship with your daughter and how everybody plays a role in her behavior (good or bad.) This is an off topic section of a music board. I'm sure you can get plenty of people to listen and provide good advice, but it is not the same as a network of people set up to help people just like you and your daughter. I can not stress enough : if you are only posting here, you are doing you and your daughter a disservice. Find a NA, or CA recovery forum and get going.

Even better than that, get off the bloody computer and go to an real time meeting!

[lennonisgod]

my sister is on drugs pretty bad.ruining her career plans an all.i feel there is nothing i can do.till she asks for help herself.i watch her every day geting screwed up.the drug she does is very hard stuff.i even thought maybe if i did it with her.then she would be with someone safe.but i soon found out through a close friend.the drug i was doing had rat pioson in it.well ive never touched it again.thankz to my close friend.but she remains doing this drug to this day my sister.it hurts to see someone you love go down that road.and no more hard drugs for me ,just weed & beers.i learned my lesson well didn't i.

What drug are you doing that has rat poison in it???  Are we talking about arsenic more specifically, which is the main ingredient in rat poison I believe???

[pebbles]

omg, my teenage daughter who has everything going for her(she'll be 18 tuesday) wants to go back out with a guy who does crack. they dated a few months ago and on about the 3rd date he took her to a crack house and she tried it!! when she got home at 3am i was ready to die, she was so messed up and could not stop chewing on her lip and talking stupid shit. so i did not let him come back, but now shes about to be 18- guess whos trying to show up again.,.i talked to him tonight and it wasnt good. he knows i forbid it but what can i do, shell be 18. ive told her if she sees him she has to move,,man i would die if that happened, you see she lost her father when she was 5 (he had cancer) and we have been very close. god i dont know what to do. pray a lot, but i actually want to hurt this guy real bad.. any suggestions or advice.

I understand that you want to point the finger at the crackhead guy but Pebbles, the real underlying issue lays within your daughter.

For some reason or other, she obviously has low self esteem.? For some reason she must think that this guy is the only kind of guy that she can attract.

Why do I say this?? Because we've all experienced it.? Think about your downfall person who you were involved with?? Why were you attracted to them?? Did they treat you right?

The answers are you were attracted to them because they had a dark side and did they treat you right, probably not.

You say your daughter is close to you but lost her father due to cancer when she was 5.? Your daughter didn't have a father figure in her life so maybe this guy fills that void?

Regardless of why she wants to hang out with him, the underlying problem goes back to your daughter's insecurities.

You should explain to her that she shouldn't sell herself short and it's okay to be single and wait for your prince charming.? They do come to you.? You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your true prince.

At 18, you feel you are infallible to anything and everything.? What ever you do, KEEP that close bond with your daughter.? Don't kick her to the curb or kick her out.? Communicate with her.? My mom turned her back on my brother when he got into drugs and had she been open minded and realized my brother had self esteem issues, she would still have him as a son and more importantly, as a friend.

Just some advice.? You don't have to follow it or you can tell me I am full of shit.? But, again, we all have had downfall persons and it's really due to our own insecurities that lay deep within ourselves.

I totally agree with you that she has insecurites, we all do to some extend, she is getting better, she had some counseling during the years to cope with the depression of not having her father, she has had attitude problems but i dont believe too much more than expected for a teenager who wants to rebel. she would give me hell when i wouldnt let her go out with stupid fucks that would come around like dogs in heat. I must admit i dont understand why she has self esteem issues, she is beautiful. but i know its not just about looks, it goes way deeper than that. I have always been here for her, never left her to go out and party, i totally devoted myself to my kids.

[pebbles]

Pebbles, I don't mean to question your parenting skills, and it's clear that you're good mom.

But why is she out at a festival and won't be home all night?? Especially when you know that guy will be there.? It just doesn't add up.....

we live in a very very small town and it is the only festival that comes here, we have 1 stop light in town and we live about 20 minutes from town in no where,,, i want her to have fun more than anything, she has had a lot of sadness and i cant keep her locked up even thou i would like to sometimes, she is 18 years old and went to be with some friends, i was just afraid he would be there and take advantage of the situation,,she told me today that he was there but she was not with him and for right now i believe it..i may be wrong for that (it wouldnt be the first time)

[pebbles]

my sister is on drugs pretty bad.ruining her career plans an all.i feel there is nothing i can do.till she asks for help herself.i watch her every day geting screwed up.the drug she does is very hard stuff.i even thought maybe if i did it with her.then she would be with someone safe.but i soon found out through a close friend.the drug i was doing had rat pioson in it.well ive never touched it again.thankz to my close friend.but she remains doing this drug to this day my sister.it hurts to see someone you love go down that road.and no more hard drugs for me ,just weed & beers.i learned my lesson well didn't i.

You need to tell someone, you have to if she is on something that has rat poison in it, it could kill her.

[pebbles]

she's eighteen dude.

Did you stay at home when you were eighteen? would you have stayed if you're ordered to?

At least, to me, an order to stay home would've work just the opposite.

Then again I did live a month on the street when kicked out of home.

EXACTLY

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

Ay, I see.

[horsey]

my sister is on drugs pretty bad.ruining her career plans an all.i feel there is nothing i can do.till she asks for help herself.i watch her every day geting screwed up.the drug she does is very hard stuff.i even thought maybe if i did it with her.then she would be with someone safe.but i soon found out through a close friend.the drug i was doing had rat pioson in it.well ive never touched it again.thankz to my close friend.but she remains doing this drug to this day my sister.it hurts to see someone you love go down that road.and no more hard drugs for me ,just weed & beers.i learned my lesson well didn't i.

What drug are you doing that has rat poison in it? Are we talking about arsenic more specifically, which is the main ingredient in rat poison I believe???

angel dust

[lennonisgod]

Angel Dust will lead you nowhere really fast.  I've heard of people trying to stop a train while on angel dust\PCP.  It's kind of the same when someone doing meth thinks that their head is bulletproof and then blow their head off.  Intervention is on tonight at 10 pm Eastern time here in the US.  It's a decent show that deals with addiction.  Tonight is a new episode about a Dr. who is a heroin addict and the doctor STILL is practicing medicine every single day!!!!!!  I can't wait to see how fucked up this one will be.  SO WATCH INTERVENTION TONIGHT IF THAT SHIT INTERESTS YOU!!!  It might teach you a little on how to handle people with addictions, not much, but maybe a tiny tiny bit.

[SLCPUNK]

If it were my kid, I would be standing in between the door before I let her out..................

[horsey]

it should be nipped in the bud just like my mouth at times.end it before it goes to far.ive seen intervention before,thankz.believe me i know about addictions.

[Dr. Blutarsky]

Put the fear of God into the crackhead your daughter is hanging with.

In other words, make it in no uncertain terms this dude is going to be severely fucked if he messes with your daughter.

[pebbles]

I definitely made it clear to him that i wasnt giving him another chance and did not want him around her. I did threaten him with the police which is who i spoke with when he took her and did crack. So far so good, i think

[ComeOnAxl!]

These things happen son.

[BluesGNR]

Having spoken with your daughter, you may want to invest in a chastity belt and detox. I never showed up because I don't need it in my life - but I didn't want to name a reason to you, because I didn't think you had any idea about your daughters habits.  It's not my business and I don't know you, but if you know the problems, you can fix them.  Tough love cures all. God bless. 

[pebbles]

Having spoken with your daughter, you may want to invest in a chastity belt and detox. I never showed up because I don't need it in my life - but I didn't want to name a reason to you, because I didn't think you had any idea about your daughters habits.? It's not my business and I don't know you, but if you know the problems, you can fix them.? Tough love cures all. God bless.?

for your info bluesgnr we have addressed this problem and she never went back out with him and she is dating a great guy who goes to va tech and is doing awesome, and im glad you never showed up just another liar is not what anyone needs either. She is growing up and gets a lot of attention from guys,,,some good some bad, but she is starting to make some good decisions! We all cant be perfect little fucks like you!

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

well if she's doing cocaine, at least she is partying in vip night clubs and driving ferraris and bentleys and such.