Going somewhere....

[usurper]

For the next month and a half (25 July until 3rd September) I will be in Cape Town, South Africa. The reason for my departure isn't for a nice vacation, I am trying to heal my wounds and turn over a new leaf with my father, who divorced my mother in 1998 and who I have not seen since January 2000. I dont think I can forgive him for all the neglect and anger that he has put me through, and I will be surprised if I don't bluger him to death but I need to do this...

Happiness, real happiness never existed inside of me, my parents were always fighting (my dad alwasy started it) and my sister did not want to have anything to do with me. My only true friend in the world was my next door neighbours son, he was and still is a good friend. I dont know how I should feel, this man has put me through such misery over the last five years, he never paid child support and my mom always had to tell him on my birthday that it was my birthday, but deep down inside I think I love him?

What should I do?

[Will]

I think that's good that you're taking a break. Hopefully that will clear your head and help you get your thoughts straight.

Maybe you should try to actually speak to your dad (at least on the phone) and see what the situation is and if you guys could heal the wounds. It's been 5 years, time has passed, and even if he's still what you don't want him to be, I think you should try to have a long conversation about your situation and maybe that'll change him a little bit. Or at least he'll realize he's got a son that cares about him and cares about his relationship with him.

I'm sure you'll find lots of good people here who will give you good advice. Don't give up on your dad, and have a very good trip in South Africa.

[Locomotive]

I'm a little confused, are you going to meet him in South Africa?

[usurper]

Thanks Will, I haen't had a vacation in 3 years so in a way I am eager to go, but in another way I don't want to go. He's got a girlfriend now and his side of the family don't think highly of my my mother, or possibly myself. I don't care, they are a bunch of egostistical, money-driven blood-suckers that they always have been.

I'm a little confused, are you going to meet him in South Africa?

Yeah, he lives there, I live in England

[Locomotive]

I would've taken that trip and tried to find some answers for his behaviour.
It's up to you to decide, but if you think you love him then you should meet him...
Have a nice trip and watch out for Sharks 

[usurper]

I would've taken that trip and tried to find some answers for his behaviour.
It's up to you to decide, but if you think you love him then you should meet him...
Have a nice trip and watch out for Sharks?

The waters too cold there, and sea salt is bad for my skin

[jameslofton29]

usurper, I feel for you. When I was young, I had a pretty good life. But when I turned 14 (1989), my dad basically ruined our lives. He became a drug addict, and this caused a chain reaction that still exists to this day. We ended up homeless for awhile, and lived with a bunch of different relatives. He got my mom addicted to heroin and I also started using drugs (cigarettes,alcohol,weed,meth). I went from being athletically gifted(football) to a drug addict in the blink of an eye. It was rough times indeed. I actually thought about suicide many times. We moved to a different state, but it only helped things a little. Instead of hard drugs, he got addicted to prescription drugs. I had dropped out of high school several years before our move. But I decided to get my life in order and go to college. We would argue sometimes when I got home from classes. One day, in 1995, he died in his sleep at the age of 39. It was a total shock. There were many unresolved issues between the two of us. Alot of things left unsaid. 10 years after his death, I am still trying to come to terms with everything that happened. My advice to you: Talk with your dad. Discuss with him what went on in the past, and tell him how you really feel. Because eventually, time runs out.

[Sin Cut]

For the next month and a half (25 July until 3rd September) I will be in Cape Town, South Africa. The reason for my departure isn't for a nice vacation, I am trying to heal my wounds and turn over a new leaf with my father, who divorced my mother in 1998 and who I have not seen since January 2000. I dont think I can forgive him for all the neglect and anger that he has put me through, and I will be surprised if I don't bluger him to death but I need to do this...

Happiness, real happiness never existed inside of me, my parents were always fighting (my dad alwasy started it) and my sister did not want to have anything to do with me. My only true friend in the world was my next door neighbours son, he was and still is a good friend. I dont know how I should feel, this man has put me through such misery over the last five years, he never paid child support and my mom always had to tell him on my birthday that it was my birthday, but deep down inside I think I love him?

What should I do?

I hope he got the brains not to talk shit about your mother.
Mine didn't, I told him to shut the fuck up, left and didn't see him for a couple of years.

Sometimes I need like I would need some fatherly advice.. but I fear our relationship will never build to that, too much hate, too much despice. I'd love to get rid of that burden and accept him, but I'm just a man.

[usurper]

For the next month and a half (25 July until 3rd September) I will be in Cape Town, South Africa. The reason for my departure isn't for a nice vacation, I am trying to heal my wounds and turn over a new leaf with my father, who divorced my mother in 1998 and who I have not seen since January 2000. I dont think I can forgive him for all the neglect and anger that he has put me through, and I will be surprised if I don't bluger him to death but I need to do this...

Happiness, real happiness never existed inside of me, my parents were always fighting (my dad alwasy started it) and my sister did not want to have anything to do with me. My only true friend in the world was my next door neighbours son, he was and still is a good friend. I dont know how I should feel, this man has put me through such misery over the last five years, he never paid child support and my mom always had to tell him on my birthday that it was my birthday, but deep down inside I think I love him?

What should I do?

I hope he got the brains not to talk shit about your mother.
Mine didn't, I told him to shut the fuck up, left and didn't see him for a couple of years.

Sometimes I need like I would need some fatherly advice.. but I fear our relationship will never build to that, too much hate, too much despice. I'd love to get rid of that burden and accept him, but I'm just a man.

He tried to shit talk about my mother when my sister went to go see him a few months back, and for a while sh actually believed him! But this time nobody say's anything bad about my mother and gets to live another day

[Sin Cut]

For the next month and a half (25 July until 3rd September) I will be in Cape Town, South Africa. The reason for my departure isn't for a nice vacation, I am trying to heal my wounds and turn over a new leaf with my father, who divorced my mother in 1998 and who I have not seen since January 2000. I dont think I can forgive him for all the neglect and anger that he has put me through, and I will be surprised if I don't bluger him to death but I need to do this...

Happiness, real happiness never existed inside of me, my parents were always fighting (my dad alwasy started it) and my sister did not want to have anything to do with me. My only true friend in the world was my next door neighbours son, he was and still is a good friend. I dont know how I should feel, this man has put me through such misery over the last five years, he never paid child support and my mom always had to tell him on my birthday that it was my birthday, but deep down inside I think I love him?

What should I do?

I hope he got the brains not to talk shit about your mother.
Mine didn't, I told him to shut the fuck up, left and didn't see him for a couple of years.

Sometimes I need like I would need some fatherly advice.. but I fear our relationship will never build to that, too much hate, too much despice. I'd love to get rid of that burden and accept him, but I'm just a man.

He tried to shit talk about my mother when my sister went to go see him a few months back, and for a while sh actually believed him! But this time nobody say's anything bad about my mother and gets to live another day

just keep it cool, but it's hard to leave him to think about how he screwed your meeting up when you're down to south africa, is he paying the trip?

[Will]

You're gonna leave soon usurper. I really hope things will get better with your dad and hopefully you guys can create a new bond. Let us know how it goes!

Take care and enjoy your trip.

[*Izzy*]

I hope all goes well my friend

  Izzy?

[usurper]

For the next month and a half (25 July until 3rd September) I will be in Cape Town, South Africa. The reason for my departure isn't for a nice vacation, I am trying to heal my wounds and turn over a new leaf with my father, who divorced my mother in 1998 and who I have not seen since January 2000. I dont think I can forgive him for all the neglect and anger that he has put me through, and I will be surprised if I don't bluger him to death but I need to do this...

Happiness, real happiness never existed inside of me, my parents were always fighting (my dad alwasy started it) and my sister did not want to have anything to do with me. My only true friend in the world was my next door neighbours son, he was and still is a good friend. I dont know how I should feel, this man has put me through such misery over the last five years, he never paid child support and my mom always had to tell him on my birthday that it was my birthday, but deep down inside I think I love him?

What should I do?

I hope he got the brains not to talk shit about your mother.
Mine didn't, I told him to shut the fuck up, left and didn't see him for a couple of years.

Sometimes I need like I would need some fatherly advice.. but I fear our relationship will never build to that, too much hate, too much despice. I'd love to get rid of that burden and accept him, but I'm just a man.

He tried to shit talk about my mother when my sister went to go see him a few months back, and for a while sh actually believed him! But this time nobody say's anything bad about my mother and gets to live another day

just keep it cool, but it's hard to leave him to think about how he screwed your meeting up when you're down to south africa, is he paying the trip?

No, my mom and her boyfriend payed for the trip

[usurper]

I am leaving in 3 hours

[Sin Cut]

best of luck.

[usurper]

SAA fucked up bigtime because of the strike, now I fucking have to wait until they call us to confirm another fucking flight.

[usurper]

Going on June the 7th on British Airways

[Will]

June the 7th??

[usurper]

June the 7th??

Yeah, Sunday June the 7th, Heathrow Airport, Terminal 3 at 19.05 pm

[Will]

I'm guessing you meant August, unless you have a time machine