Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Is there anyone out there who thought they had finally found love, broke up with that person (or had them break up with you) and then found an even greater love after that person?  I think I just really need to hear some stories of encouragement, because I truly feel like I'm never going to find another love like this ever again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdhRmFnajiY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmzA-YUjR30

always a goooood thing to listen to.

If you won't find anyone like him ever again, atleast you will have the memory of having someone at some point of your life. Nobody can take away your memory, thats the beauty of them.

That sucks, but at least you had the sense to get out.  You'll find love again.

ok
 this song im sure will do you!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6PjPMGAEmU

I split from my wife a couple of years ago.  To be brutally honest, life has been fucking great since then.   I was down and out for a time (very down and out, even), but I made the decision and promised myself that I would put her behind me and get on with my life.   Life is full of ups and downs, but make sure you keep as much control over your own life as you can. 

Perhaps thats what makes it harder, I feel memories only make the pain more intense.

Ever seen that movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"? I would totally do what Jim Carrey's character did in that movie and just erase everything memory wise about that love of your life, because when it's true love and you know that it can't be replaced, memories are the LAST thing you want.

All things end bad or they wouldn't end.

U will find someone that will blow this person out of the water as long as u LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE


so many people jump at the first douche that comes a long and they end up worse off than before.


Think about what YOU want in someone and don't settle for less.

U have been given an amazing gift right now. The gift of finding yourself and learning to be comfortable in your skin and enjoy your own company.

once u are able to do that, u can live independently and anyone u choose to date will just add to your life and not BE your life.

don't settle for anyone not worthy of u just because u "NEED" to be with someone.

that will get u broken hearted and down all the time.

TRUST ME!

Thank you D.  And to everyone else.  Before I met this guy, I was on such a single girl high.  I was getting a lot of work done, fixing up my house, going out with friends, and for the first time in my life I was truly not wishing I had a man.  And then I meet this guy and I truly felt like I had found the man I was looking for all of my life. 

I feel like such a fool, that I allowed myself to get blind-sided like this.  Everyone I know is saying he's dangerous and to get out now before he does this again, or he'll ruin my life.  I know it's true, but it doesn't make it any easier.

trust me, u will have no problems getting back to the single girl high u were on before this guy.

Not to offend u, but it doesn't sound like u are losing much.  The worst mistake I have learned that u can make is to "WANT" someone so bad, u make stuff there that really isn't.

U cannot MOLD someone into the man of your dreams no matter how hard u try. He/she either is or they aren't

The trick to finding happiness is learning to spot the red flags early and to rid yourself of all undesirable relationships before they get a chance to become part of your routine and therefore able to break your heart.


After I got fucked over by my ex, I remember a few girls I dated for less than a week.

They had ex boyfriends or drinking/drug problems or both, and I was like SEE U LATER immediately

sure i could've held out and hoped that they'd come around, but I only would've hurt myself in the end.

U have to realize also, that u can't save the world. Everyone wants to be able to nurse or love somebody back to life/health but u can't do it. Their shit only taints u and brings u down to their toxic level.

I know u are hurting, but today *especially if u dont have HEP C and U BETTER GET TESTED ASAP* is the best day of your life.

u will think so in also in about 6 months.

Wait, did it ever occur to you his self destructive behavior needed your intervention?  I know you haven't signed on for the "for better or worse" but maybe this wasn't about your relationship.

On the other hand, self destructive behavior is a pretty good indicator this relationship is in for a bunch of shit.  Your lucky if you get out of it now.  Just tell him he needs to get his shit together and maybe you'll see him further on down the road or in the gutter, it's his choice.

Just wondering, how long were you dating him? Anyway, I'm really sorry.

I started this thread a year or so ago

http://www.heretodaygonetohell.com/board/index.php?topic=49225.0

Here's what I said:

It hurts terribly, but it's just a fact of life.

Unless you never love someone, or unless you are very lucky and find the one person right away, going through a break up is just a sad fact of life. To love someone, to trust someone, to have faith in someone, and then watch it die...it's just the way life is. And while that's a sad truth, maybe we can take comfort in knowing that it's just part of life and something that most people go though at some point in their lives, sometimes many times.
 

Isn't that one of 'Coughlin's Laws'?  ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4x1eZSUYYk

I would also add:  "Anything else is always something better."

Has he actually broken up with you yet? Because there may be a reason why he's becoming isolated and drunk. If you can get through to him maybe there's something underlying that you can help him with. The whole drinking thing doesn't seem like the standard thing to do before breaking up, I'm thinking he might just be depressed about something.

Sorry for whats happened with your relationship Natasha.

You may never meet the absolute perfect guy in your life, because the perfect partner that everyone dreams about is really in their imagination.

But in life you'll meet and connect with people in different ways. I think it is up to fate to determine how everything will turn out.

Everything happens for a reason. Things might be in your benefit, or for his benefit. You must just try to accept that this is the outcome and move on. At a later time in the future you may, or may not, realize why it was meant to end like this.

I feel that, although you are still hurting, your heart is set to move on from him, and I think you should follow through and let the relationship go.

From personal experience I can tell you the absolute worst thing you can do is try to cling on and tape together what little scraps are left of a relationship, especially if you are not convinced.

Should you choose to end the relationship, then thereafter, just take it one day at a time. Don't go looking for the right guy, and never expect anything because it is unnecessary disappointment. And don't rush into it, especially if the previous relationship is still in your mind, otherwise it will be a burden for you and you may unintentionally hurt others or hurt yourself further.

That doesn't mean you can't keep the memories. But keep it like a photo book. When the time is right you can take it out and enjoy the memories, but then you can close the book and put it away and go back to the present.

Good luck with it, whatever happens.

Ben.

On the flip-side, breakups are great cos you get your freedom back.

What's sweeter than freedom?

I know it sucks now, and it hurts pretty bad.

And I know at the moment, this is no consolation, but if he has a drinking problem you are in for some tough times as a couple if you two are to remain together. I'm not saying that should be the sole reason for letting someone go, but it should factor into the equation, because it is going to seriously impact your life at some point if it does not stop.

As another poster mentioned, he may be depressed over something. The situation you describe with the re-occurrence of drinking, as well as the withdrawing from things and shutting down emotionally, are pretty classic signs of depression. If you want to make this work because you believe he is the one for you, you may need to find ways to convince him to get some help, with both the depression and the drinking. At the end of the day, that will be his decision.

If this relationship ends, life will be rocky for a time. However, at a certain point, you'll start to feel better, and you'll probably start to feel better than you have in a long, long time, because you'll get excited for what the future brings again, as opposed to focusing on the end of your relationship.

Like the saying goes, all things must pass.

This may include your relationship, and if it does, it will certainly include the awful feeling that occurs after that happens. The sun will come out again at some point, and you WILL fall in love again.

If this man is worth it, I hope it works out. If he isn't, I hope you find the one who is.

Best of luck

w.. wait he started drinking? and you're accusing him for not loving you?

Sheez, give the man a break.

Just why should we be social all the time? It's just that some people expect that every day is a good day and when it ain't it has to be something wrong with the relationship, or the guy cheating since one of your female friends thinks that.

For fuck's sake, maybe he's just stressed out, having some personal trouble, we ain't obligated to tell, you know.

But suuure, confronting us on a bad day "say you love me", yeah, that must help.

Am I the only one that thinks this doens't really feel that serious?

Really, he started drinking?

and doesn't hug you all the time? Some people and their problems.


Here's Dr. Sin Cut's remedy;
buy the guy 12-pack of beer
give the guy a nice bj
tell him to have a good night out with his friends

This has always worked for me  : ok:

Just dont call him too many times "to make sure he's having a good time". We ain't stupid.



and how many times do I have to tell you D stand for DOWNFORCED