Here Today... Gone To Hell!

omg, my teenage daughter who has everything going for her(she'll be 18 tuesday) wants to go back out with a guy who does crack. they dated a few months ago and on about the 3rd date he took her to a crack house and she tried it!! when she got home at 3am i was ready to die, she was so messed up and could not stop chewing on her lip and talking stupid shit. so i did not let him come back, but now shes about to be 18- guess whos trying to show up again.,.i talked to him tonight and it wasnt good. he knows i forbid it but what can i do, shell be 18. ive told her if she sees him she has to move,,man i would die if that happened, you see she lost her father when she was 5 (he had cancer) and we have been very close. god i dont know what to do. pray a lot, but i actually want to hurt this guy real bad.. any suggestions or advice. :(

I feel for you, that's a tough position :-\

If I was you, I'd call the police. They could probally check him into rehab or even lock him up, either way he'd be off the streets. Also, maybe if you had to.. a restraining order? I'd tell him to back off or youd phone the police, and if he doesn't.. then call them up.

Truth be told, kicking her out would be a bad thing I think........because you already know 99% chance that she's gonna end up getting burned in this deal.  You should support her and encourage her and hope she doens't fall under this dude's spell.  My advice would be to just be extremely heartfelt and straightfoward with her that this guy is bad news.  She has to understand that nothing good can come of it.  I wish you all the best of luck and I hope she doesn't get caught up in the dude's problems.

Invite him in for a nice drano shake.  Then cut him up, grind the bones and take the meat to a local dog shelter at 2am and toss him over the fence.

oh my god,. i love it..lol,,ur so cool.

Ok.. Seeing that Im still a youngster.. 21 bout.. and ive been around the block I guess with the shit.. This guy is a doper.. he needs your daughter like he needs his dope.. YOU have to be EXTRA Vigilant against creeps like him.. Who Cares if your daughter turns 18.. You still have control over her.. whether the law says it or not.. Dont kick her out.. Lock her up.. I have never smoke crack but i have dabbled in coke a little... nothing serious.. but I have seen alot of good girls get caught up and strung out all cause there boyfriend..  Do you have any brothers? that could show this kid the light?

I did call the detective in my home town, we went to school together, they went to the house and threatened to take their kids if more was reported..which scared the hell out of them,,just like them giving my daughter the fuckin crack scared the hell out of me.,. thanks

Thanks, it would kill me to kick her out, i dont think i would ever do that, i know that is what he would want. i am hoping and praying because i really think i would hurt this guy some how if he keeps messing with her, i have to be pretty tough to be mom and dad. i mean like i said if her dad was living this guy wouldnt be walking. : ok:

Best. Idea. Ever.
"How'd you like to play, How fast is 911?"

My two cents.

Your kid is prolly just trying new stuff.. I know I was the rebel and did all sort of shit, as did quite a lot of my friends, for most of them it was just that, to try something new.

Two of my friends however did stay on that road and the last time I saw the guy he was shooting shit into his arm and was a mess after that.

It's good what you did with that friend detective. I just hope they don't go doing some personal vendetta, since that's what the crowd I know would've done.

I'm just glad I'm not a part of it, tho when my gf broke up with me I was so close of making that call to get me a fix.

But I didn't.

you may of done this already but, have you tried talking to her and i mean really talking to her about the problems of crack do some research go to the libary get out the most extreme cases of crack abuse you can find try and scare the shit out of her with that but at the same time also try and show her how much you care worry and love her

good luck its a situation i hope i never have to deal with

all of the advice so far is good.  wow, the age of 18 makes it tough.  of course we'd all hope that by 18 she was making better decisions, but obviously she's not.  I just don't know.  ???  The Drano shake sounds like the best idea.  :D

Do everything you can to get her away from that guy. ANYTHING.

Get her help RIGHT NOW. Even if that means a forced rehab facility.

Do not take this lightly. Tell that guy not to come around any more or you will call the police on him. Tell him you are serious.

Guys like that will end up using and abusing your daughter to support their crack habit. That is why he had her try it in the first place. She made a mistake and it is not too late to fix that, but you have to act right now with zero exceptions. Her life depends on it.

pebbles, i am so sorry, but you know, most times, girls who hook up with drug addicts have tried drugs before.
And if they haven't, the reason why they are attracted is something you may not want to know.

I haven't helped my best friend, i lost her i ntrying too hard, and after 12 years, she quit drugs.
I haven't managed to stop her from taking them and no one did, friends, parents, we all tried.
And we all lost her, she doesn't speak to us anymore.

That's terrible.  I really feel for you, I have a 17 year old stepson and I would not want to be in that position with him.  I think you have to try and get her to see him for what he is.  I don't think you can wait and see how this pans out.  You need to do anything at all that will get her away from this guy.  Good luck pebbles LOL

you are making me dread the teenage years of my daughter :nervous:

good luck...maybe a serious sit down talk and try not to get pissed off too much and ...oh i have no idea...good luck :-\

You should take SLC's advice and get her into rehab. She may have only tried it once, but it's likely that she'll do it again. Everyone knows how addictive that drug is. Also, I think it would be fairly easy to get a restraining order against the boyfriend if you tell the police that he's harassing your family and endangering your child.

I think kicking her out would be the wrong thing right now, because she's still young and at the point to where you can possibly get through to her.

Crack addiction can be a life long battle. My mother's friend started smoking crack when he was 18 years old and he's 43 now and in prison. Every time he gets out of jail, he'll get a job and stay clean for a couple of weeks, then he falls right back into that lifestyle and starts using again and stealing from people who trust him.

thanks to all for suggestions, right now i have tears because i dont know what to do, i couldnt kick her out because i love her soooo much. im just so damn scared that he wont give up, but i just hope my daughter has enough love and respect for me that she will not do this to our family.

Ya girl needs helping love. ?She needs ya to be strong for her and do what ya gotta do to put her right. ?Crack is fucking bad shit. ?Seriously. ?Tryin it once, I wanted to do it agen but since I wont let no substance make a slave of me, I stopped it right there. ?Ya girl gotta get away from this asshole. ?He's no good to none on that crap.

no way she'll be addicted after trying once. It's not heroin.

Even on smack ya get a hunymoon time same as crack.  As long as she aint takin anything ova a long time she be ok.

I thought Crack was highly addictive :-\

Crack is way more addictive than heroin.

U cannot throw her out and turn your back on her as u may be the only thing stopping her from totally fuckin her entire life up.

If she is out on  her own and she feels abandoned. Pretty soon that guy will be her Pimp and he will be selling her body for Crack.

I see it happen all the time where Im from.

So u must intervene and do whatever it takes.

Yes.

Tell her to get high on life, that drugs are for losers and that the only way to live is to proudly live as a drug-free American.

And if that doesn't straighten her up, then you can always PM me for information regarding more...desperate...measures. But those would usually involve a large box of table salt, and I'm not quite sure if you're willing to go that far with it.

Don't kick her out yet.

Love for you and her family can be trumped the moment addiction sets in. Don't fool yourself into believing otherwise.

Some people can smoke this shit off and on for a while and not get addicted, although most I have seen get hooked right away.

This is a life and death thing she is/has played with, so I will be very blunt. You do not have time to sit crying and being confused. You have to take charge of this situation right now, there is no time to waste.

Don't kick her out.

Call the cops on that guy, no matter what your daughter does. She'll end up thanking you. Crack is an extremely dangerous and HIGHLY addictive drug, and if she tries it even a few more times, you won't ever get her to stop. Once a crackhead always a crackhead, and the same goes for smack.

Do NOT let her see this guy. If you have to, lock her in the basement! The only thing which can come from her seeing this guy is BAD... she'll end up selling her body for crack, and end up in the prison hospital system, and eventually die young.

I may only be 20, and I may love my BF, but if he started fucking doing crack or smack, I'd be out the door faster than you could say "Mr. Brownstone".

Your daughter will scream and shout and cry and put you on guilt trips and do everything she can think of to get you to let her see him, or she'll try and meet up with him on the sly... which is why you gotta lock her up until she realizes that he's a no-good-nick and she's better off without him.
She'll thank you in the end, and in the future, she'll look back and say "Maan, I was so fucking stupid wanting to still see that crackhead!".

She may be 18, but as her parent you are well within your rights to do what is right.

If you have to, take her on vacation for a month or two to another country, give her time to get over this guy, and give her lots of motherly advice. : ok:

i was in a relationship based on crack for a year...it ruined my life...its taken me too years to get outta trouble with the police...get my license back...etc...do anything to keep her away from the guy...when your doin crack you'll always choose the drug first....

thanks! i am going to do all i can to keep her from him, i have told her i would die before i accept him and his bullshit story that "i quit". i am not stupid and know he did it many times and dont believe that crap. thanks to u all for your input even though i knew that anyone with a brain knows its one of the worst things u can do, i needed a place to vent and reading all your responses has helped me. if u believe in anything please pray for her that she will have the strength to not give in to his pressure. :no:

You need to get in touch with a board that is better for this subject matter.

I reccommend a recovery board that has a section for parents, or other family members affected by drug use. You will get a lot more useful information there. Better than an off topic board on a GnR forum.

pebbles I wish you all the best in this situation.


And I agree with Slc . You will do better to try one of those boards.


 you might also want to try a local recover group(or something like that) and see if you can  some one who has went through this before to come and talk with your daughter .



Again best of luck

damn I knew we had something in common! its like almost word for word!

kicking someone out is the worst thing ever. You given ultimatum; rehab and/or jail for my daughter if you truly love her. Whether law says or not, you are her mother, you have higher status and you have the power. go for it.

Wow, I've never heard a more delusive statement in my life.  Seriously, how can you say that crack is more addictive than heroin???  I'm not proud of this but I can offer a lot better advice than a lot of people here because I've lived through it and lived through it recently.  First of all, heroin is a phsyically addictive drug and crack is definitely not.  Once you are hooked on heroin, your body NEEDS it all the time.  If you're not getting high, you're getting sick as fuck.  Crack is cocaine, mixed with baking soda, cooked and then smoked.  The high is a lot more intense than that of cocaine but the high also lasts A LOT SHORTER.  I'm not trying to say in any way that crack is not an addictive drug BECAUSE IT SURE FUCKING IS!!!  I've seen so many lives thrown away on that bull shit and when I say ''lives", I mean entire fucking lives.  I've explained my situation before and before I give any advice I'll explain it again really quick.  I'm 24 years old and I started using drugs very heavily about 6 years ago.  This sounds pathetic but I just fell into that whole "drugs, sex, rock n' roll" cliche that so many people do.  I'm a singer\songwriter and front a band and started using drugs mainly for creative purposes at first.  First it was weed at an earlier age and then by the time I was 18 I was using coke, ecstasy, acid, shrooms, opium and whatever else I could find.  Soon it just dwindled down to doing coke everyday.  I spent well over 50,000 dollars on drugs in just a couple of years.  Anyway to the more recent shit, I first used Oxycontin (OC) about 2 years ago.  OC for those that don't know is basically synthetic heroin, very similar high, same addiction (A lot of people say it's worse), same "life ruining" traits that heroin has.  I was addicted for about a year and a half and was spending around 5,000 dollars per month on my habit at it's worst point, which was up until March of this year.  Maybe even a little into April.  I started my second rehab in April I think (first one went from January to March but I was kicked out for using) and it's been a fucking lifesaver!!  It specialilzes in Crack, Heroin and oxycontin addictions.  I'm about 15 weeks clean right now and haven't had ANY RELAPSES.  I'm the only one in the program that hasn't relapsed.  There is like a 5% success rate in the program (First time through success) or something so pathetic.  I take the medicine called Suboxone which is a new drug to treat my addiction.  It takes away my "dope sickness" and blocks the use of OC, meaning if I tried to do some right now, it wouldn't work and would just make me sick.  I'm doing this instead of methadone, which to me is not the right way to go anymore.  I want to be OFF of drugs at some point, not hooked on methadone.  This is an 18 month program and I am an outpatient right now and go to drug counseling once a week for a couple of hours.  I DO know a lot about CRACK addiction. My drug counselor was a Crack addict for many years and I have a lot of friends that have lost their lives to that drug.  Alright, so that's my long and boring intro.  Sorry, but I had to explain a little to show that I "sort of" know what I'm talking about at this point.

My advice for you Pebbles:

This is a really tough situation and I even called my drug counselor a few minutes ago for a little advice because I do care about your situation and I want to try to be somewhat of a help to you.  When she's 18 years old, there really isn't much you can do as far as telling her, "yes you can see him or no you can't see him."  Another thing you have to take into consideration is how many times has she used Crack or drugs before???  Do you know this was her only time or has she been using other drugs as well????  As others have said, she may need a treatment center of some type.  It would have to be something she would agree to though because she will be 18 years old soon.  Treatment will only work for those that know they need help and WANT help, otherwise it's a waste of time and money.  If you know she's been using, you could drag her ass to an NA meeting (Narcotics Anonymous) and let her see what that shit does to peoples lives.  It's free and there should be one in your area SOMEWHERE.  You just have to do a little research.  You could even take her to AA because even though it's generally for alcoholics, many drug users go there as well and I know some personally that do.  ON THE OTHER HAND, if you don't think she is a major drug user right now and all you want to do is avoid it from happening and stop her from seeing this cunt fuck, you need to talk to her.  If you are really close with her, be her mom and talk to her.  If you call the police on this guy, chances are they aren't going to do anything.  He would actually have to DO SOMETHING to you for them to take any action.  But you may get lucky and find that police officer who may think it's worth taking a look into and following up on the call.  You may want to just take action before she turns 18 though and get that restraining order on the guy because you'd be surprised how HARD crack users try to avoid the police at all costs.  They hear the word "police" and they freak because they are so fucking paranoid from the drug use already that they want no involvment with a mom that is willing to "fuck their life up."  So if she's not a user at this point, talk to her, call the police, get the restraining order and let that fucker know you aren't fucking around.  Lie to him if you want.  Tell him the police are watching his every move and make that fucker worry.  I'm telling you the truth, drug users hate authority and don't want to go to jail because they can't stop using their drugs.  The bottom line is and this is what all of the counselors, doctor's, etc. have told my mom (Who has been there for me since day fucking one) and that's "just be his mother and be there for him."  So take that advice and go take action TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!  Don't put this shit off until tomorrow or whenever, do it now!!!!  This may not have helped you at all, but at least I tried.  I'm not a complete dumb ass after all the drugs, I'm almost done with college with a business major and will probably (ironically) end up doing something with Criminal Justice.  In a couple of years I hope to be counseling kids and adults (as a side job) that are addicted to drugs and try to help and change lives.  But I wish the best to you and good luck with everything.  You can do it and just follow those motherly instincts because that's something I can't tell you anything about.  Go help your daughter before she gets to the point I and so many others have been at and change her life.  Help that girl want to change her life and the direction she is going...

Mitch

 :-* lennonisgod-aka mitch, thanks so much for your thoughts and advice on this, i am going to do whatever it takes to keep this son of a bitch away from her. I am very happy for you that you are staying away from all that shit that does nothing but get control of your life and brings you down. I must admit when i was say around 18-26 or so, i tried a few things, coke once, pot for about a year, drank some but that is about all, so i am not an expert on this stuff, like someone who has actually lived thru addiction and god i can only imagine how terrible that is. I also pray a lot. You sound like you got yourself together now, just keep it that way, ok. Take care and again thanks.

Lennon, I know drugs very well. I'll explain why I stated this later on when I have more time. I stand by my statement in general.

I'm glad you're doing OK with your situation.

You are very welcome and I can only wish for the best.  Addicition is a very terrible thing and I hope your daughter never has to experience what I have and what many others on this board have experienced.  As far as praying goes... I like the idea that you pray a lot.  Being addicted to drugs definitely strained my relationship with God and at one point I may have even stopped believing in God altogether.  I am slowly trying to regain my faith and as life gets better and better, it does get easier.  All I can say is and I know that you know this already, but NEVER give up.  Never give up on your daughter and never stop fighting for her.  You will be alright and in the end, you will prevail.  Don't let anyone fuck with you.

I'm not saying that you don't know drugs very well and I'm not going to argue about which is more addictive.  Heroin is a physically addictive drug and people can become hooked on it after one use.  The body begins to NEED the drug in order to function properly.  Otherwise you'll be puking non-stop, shitting in your puke, cold sweats, shaking really bad, muscle aches and pains, etc.  Crack is a mentally addictive drug, the same as cocaine.  I guess you could really look at it two ways and I'll try to see if maybe you are looking at from a different viewpoint.  The bottom line, take away all outside resources and help of any kind and give one person heroin and one person crack, it will be harder for the heroin addict to stop and "cold turkey" the drug.  But if you look at it from the viewpoint maybe you are seeing it from (I'm guessing this might be how you are looking at it), crack would be the worse of the two addictions because there are better treatments for heroin.  You can get on Methadone or the medicine I'm on, Suboxone, and your sickness goes away and that's it.  Stay away from the drugs.  Crack however isn't as simple as giving somebody medicine and making them stop that way.  So to say that crack may be the worst of the two addictions, you could be right because as I said, heroin has better treatment methods.  So let me know if that's the point of view you were looking at.  Thank you very much by the way for hoping that I'm doing well.  That really means a lot.  I am going to take away my statement from before when I said, "I've never heard a more delusive statement in my life..." because I didn't really look at the way I am now.  They are both very terrible and I do know that heroin is the more addictive drug but it may not be the worst addiction.  So that's my little argument and I have drug counseling tomorrow and I'll bring it up to my counselor Clarence, an ex Crack addict.  I did a little research on the web for other opinions as well and it really goes both ways so I'll respect what you said and leave it at that.  Thanks again for the kind words by the way and I hope everyone else is doing ok and trying to stay away from drugs.  I know we have a ton of pot heads here and God do I wish I could smoke some weed, but I think I'm really done with all drugs for good.  They really don't lead a person anywhere.  I learned the hard the way.  Peace out people.

Crack and heroin are mind-destroying drugs. Even a few uses of these hardcore drugs will damage the brain. Show your daughter the "faces of meth" to see what drugs will do to one's looks. Look at this.

http://methsomesideeffectsmayoccur.ytmnsfw.com/

Crack will do the same thing to a person. Amphetamines are hell. Even though showing "looks" is very superficial, discussing the brain's receptors and neurons might be over her head.

Heroin is terrible, and physically addicting, but it won't damage the brain the way crack will. The brain literally overheats from crack, destroying it over time. It's hell on the heart, too. Heroin is an opioid, a type of narcotic, so at least there are rehab drugs like Methadone that can help beat the addiction. There are drugs that help beat crack addiction, but it's still a tougher nut to, well, you know.  :P

Do NOT try to move her somewhere to get away from the drugs. Drugs are not just "in da 'hood". They're everywhere. In rural areas, meth is available, and it is the worst drug ever. Get her away from the guy she was with, and into rehab ASAP, even after just a single use of that stuff.

I definitely agree with you.  There really is no place run to get away from drugs.  They ARE everywhere just as you said.  I also couldn't agree more than Meth is the worst drug ever.  It really is the fucking devil and it will eat away at your body with every single fucking use.  That's one thing I'm so happy I never even tried because it's supposed to be the "greatest high" and I don't know if I could have controlled myself.  There is one form of meth, I can't remember what it was called but Rollingstone did an article a few years ago on it, and I guess the first hit is the equivalent to having 10 orgasms at one time.  That's the absolute truth to!!!  I will never forget reading that because it just seems so fucking inconceivable.  But anyway, there is no where to hide from the drugs and rural place these days might be the worse off.  All of the meth labs that are everywhere in rural areas are completely destroying small towns.  The shit that goes into making meth is all terrible, terrible stuff and I can't imagine sitting there and smoking\snorting\shooting up that shit all day long.  That's my two cents.

wait till she has a bad tripp

Doesnt crack effect your heart? like make it beat real fast. that what scares me about her, she is so small, little ears, little nose, about 5'2" and weighs about 120, i think her heart is so small (right for her size) and that it cant take it. but like i have said i will do ANYTHING i have to do to keep her away from this one, im sure she will run into more as she gets away from home more, but if i catch him with her i will fuck him up or he will me one but i will definitely go off.

It definitely does make your heart speed up to a crazy pace.  Over time it also clogs\constricts arteries and that's why a lot of people that do coke or smoke crack have heart attacks.  It could really happen at any age, especially if you do too much.  Overdosing is always a possibility, especially with someone so tiny as your daughter.  SO WATCH HER CLOSE!!!!

why don't you make your daughter read this whole thread ?

Yea, print it out and make her read it back to you! That'll make her realize that you're not trying to "spoil her fun" or anything because teenagers often think like that even when its obvious that you're just lookin' out for them! It'll just make her realize that it isn't just your advice, its everyone else's too! It'll definitely help matters, even if its only a little bit, it'll definitely help. : ok: :)

Thank you all very much for this good advice! I have been thinking about getting her to read this thread. your so right in that she always thinks im trying to spoil her fun,,you just dont know what i have accepted for her,,ive been thru the goth guy, redneck, pothead, total user,mohawks,guy who takes pills prescribed for his dog, jesus i dont even like to think about it..and i have been very nice to these, well most of em. but when it comes to crack :rant:

Yeah after she reads this thread, she'll also notice the thread right underneath it that is the "I just got home wasted thread"...

Hahaha... I'm surprised you put up with the guy that was taking the pills that were prescribed for his dog.  My best friend from about 5 years ago, well her dad was a veterinarian and she was always stealing medicine from him that she would take.  Esentially most of it is the same medicine that humans take, just under a different label or brand name.  It's still fucked up though, really fucked up.

you know i just dont get it.  i saw the pic of that girl who did meth,,what a difference. crack also fucks up your teeth from what ive heard and if it makes your heart beat real fast, man thats not a good feeling, mine does it from stress and i dont take any drugs and it makes me nervous and its sorta scary, you think your going to have a heart attack. i told my daughter about what people have been saying on here and she is going to read it soon ( shes not here right now). and you know what she said, "you know its hearing things like that from other people(not mom) that makes me not want to do it.. :yes: :yes: so whoever says a thread like this with all the great gnr fans dont help  can kiss my butt....

Meth is a lot worse for teeth than Crack.  They call it "meth mouth" and it rots your teeth in a short period of time.  Millions of dollars in tax money is spent every year in the US on prison inmates that need to get their teeth fixed from smoking meth.  It's fucked up.

i never thought about that, tax money goes to some really fucked up causes!!! im not the only one with whom these feelings i share.. ;D

Hang on in there Pebbles. Sounds like you've at least got her to look down Commonsense Road.  Crack is total shit.  It highly addictive, it does rot your teeth, makes you pasty pale, moody  and singleminded about one thing only....more crack.  I have plenty of friends who like a smoke, do a bit of coke etc occassionally but that all okay when it's recreational, crack doesn't give you the 'recreational' option.  Reading this thread would be a good way to go.  Tell her to check out some of the ages on the kids posting here.  A lot of them are teenagers as well, maybe she'll realise your not just trying to spoil her fun you are trying to lead her down the right path.

pills prescribed to his dog?  :rofl: What pills? Paracite medicine?

where the hell does she found these guys? Animal clinic?

Blame the boyfriend, his Crack  :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: dealer friends, protect her, tell her boyfriend, you'll break his Neck if he puts her in that position again.

 : ok:

To illustrate :

Audrey was my best friend.

She was already on coke and hero a long time before she turned 18.
Her parents put her in a private school away from home before she was 18, hoping she would do something with herself rather than keep going with drugs and the boyfriend.

It didn't work.

They did everything that was possible before she was legally an adult.

None worked.

Oh, yeah, some things worked :

In attacking the guy she loved ( critics and all), she stopped speaking to her parents.

She never forgave her parents for putting her away.

The ifrst time she tried to quit was because her dad ( one of the rare people who kept on visiting her no matter wht, you cannot imagine how much of a shithead she became to people whilst on drugs, she would pressure me to go and buy her codeined throat syrup on prescription for me, clean needles, you name it) found her, crippled and crying in her kitchen, she'd spent 48 hours without hero and was really sick.
Her dad carried her to bed and watched her over. Bless him.

He never said a word to hurt her.

And she woke up to herself. But from then, it took 9 YEARS to quit once and for all.

I lost Audrey's friendship for being what she thinks is an arse, on her back.

Audrey had it all, a sharon stione like physique, all men wanted to fuck her and all women wanted to be her, she was THAT cool.
She was very gifted, she had been a junior champion in athletics and was into fashion school ( god she was gifted, you cannot imagine, she'd turn any piece of cloth into anything she wanted)
She had more friends than anyone i have ever known.
She had a close up loving family.
Two beloved dogs ( two little things i abhored but she loved them)
She wanted kids above everything else, she adored kids.

She was very intelligent and curious and had GUTS.

I remember her taking me along to beg money so we could buy cigarettes lol..or throwing up on every single shop window one early morning as a sign of rebellion after coming out of a club ..partying with hell's angels at 15...daring a guy in a porshe to have a race between our scooters and his car...

She was F U N

I think shestarted drugs because it was too heavy for her, being that cool, adored, looked upon, taken as role model and whatnot..

The pedestal she was on was just too much for her.

People had expectations of her and she destroyed it all. Purposefully.

Be careful Pebbles. You see your kid one way, but unless you really know how she sees herself, all you risk to do is to loose her and make her angry, especially if you attack the ones she loves.

I got a few examples of speed, actually two examples.

The first one was doing speed with his friend, who russians wanted dead, when his speed didn't hit and his friend was out he took the hypo his friend was using and loaded the remaining shit, which was poisoned, he got cramps and lost conciuosnes, but when cops found him he was bruised from head to toe so he was prolly beat to death, and his appartment was "cleaned" so I guess it was someone he knew. He was the best friend of a friend of mine, who did a lot of shit after that not to feel or something, now he's pretty clean.

The other one is just a stupid fuck-up that that put the guy in a hospital for five years, he took a fix and had forgotten to take insulin, which gave him cramps and his brain didn't get air/blood whatever and did some brain damage. The docs said he'd be like a three year old but my friend asked him what the fuck did you take and saw a tear running down his cheek, so he knew he wasn't that badly damaged his brain, he went to see him every day for those five years and now the guy can live a normal life (without drugs), but he ain't the smart fun guy he used to be.

To pebbles' daughter: There are millions of guys your age out there. There are plenty of guys that are fun and interesting without being a crack addict. You need a guy who will lift you up - not drag you down. This guy will do nothing to make your life better, but you certainly will be better off without him. Crack will just ruin your life. You will be throwing away your hopes and dreams, your health, and your looks. It will steal years away from your life if not your life itself. It will damage your relationships with your friends and family. Don't throw everything away for a guy who doesn't even care about himself let alone about you. He will do nothing to make your life better, but you will have a bright future without him.

Pebbles, I think the best action right now is to keep communicating with your daughter. Constantly remind her of the dangers of crack or any other drug, but most  importantly constantly remind her of your love for her. Keep telling her you love her and you want the best for her. Build on her self-esteem and her confidence in herself. Let her know that she deserves a man who will treat her like gold. Make sure she knows you are there for her no matter what. It will be easier for her to make the right decision if she is surrounded by your love and feels confident for her future.

I would also think about finding a local NA meeting to see if they would be okay with you taking her there and have people talk to her so she can hear about the horrors of drugs firsthand. The message will be much louder and clearer.

Craig Charles does crack..

She has made a few comments that she doesnt think he is worth it,,so we'll see, she is gone to a festival where he may be and i am very nervous tonight and i havent heard from her, i asked her to call. I have said a few prayers and just hope somehow tonight good judgement kicks in..i will get her to read this thread when she comes home tomorrow, yea shes staying all night,,,god help us. Thank you all again for your advice and opinions, believe it or not it does help me..

i dont think yo should say that.

she's eighteen dude.

Did you stay at home when you were eighteen? would you have stayed if you're ordered to?

At least, to me, an order to stay home would've work just the opposite.

Then again I did live a month on the street when kicked out of home.

I understand that you want to point the finger at the crackhead guy but Pebbles, the real underlying issue lays within your daughter.

For some reason or other, she obviously has low self esteem.  For some reason she must think that this guy is the only kind of guy that she can attract.

Why do I say this?  Because we've all experienced it.  Think about your downfall person who you were involved with?  Why were you attracted to them?  Did they treat you right?

The answers are you were attracted to them because they had a dark side and did they treat you right, probably not.

You say your daughter is close to you but lost her father due to cancer when she was 5.  Your daughter didn't have a father figure in her life so maybe this guy fills that void?

Regardless of why she wants to hang out with him, the underlying problem goes back to your daughter's insecurities.

You should explain to her that she shouldn't sell herself short and it's okay to be single and wait for your prince charming.  They do come to you.  You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your true prince.

At 18, you feel you are infallible to anything and everything.  What ever you do, KEEP that close bond with your daughter.  Don't kick her to the curb or kick her out.  Communicate with her.  My mom turned her back on my brother when he got into drugs and had she been open minded and realized my brother had self esteem issues, she would still have him as a son and more importantly, as a friend.

Just some advice.  You don't have to follow it or you can tell me I am full of shit.  But, again, we all have had downfall persons and it's really due to our own insecurities that lay deep within ourselves.

my sister is on drugs pretty bad.ruining her career plans an all.i feel there is nothing i can do.till she asks for help herself.i watch her every day geting screwed up.the drug she does is very hard stuff.i even thought maybe if i did it with her.then she would be with someone safe.but i soon found out through a close friend.the drug i was doing had rat pioson in it.well ive never touched it again.thankz to my close friend.but she remains doing this drug to this day my sister.it hurts to see someone you love go down that road.and no more hard drugs for me ,just weed & beers.i learned my lesson well didn't i.

Have you registered on any recovery forums yet?????

You need to talk to people who understand not only addiction, but the dynamics that go along with it. Including your relationship with your daughter and how everybody plays a role in her behavior (good or bad.) This is an off topic section of a music board. I'm sure you can get plenty of people to listen and provide good advice, but it is not the same as a network of people set up to help people just like you and your daughter. I can not stress enough : if you are only posting here, you are doing you and your daughter a disservice. Find a NA, or CA recovery forum and get going.

Even better than that, get off the bloody computer and go to an real time meeting!

What drug are you doing that has rat poison in it???  Are we talking about arsenic more specifically, which is the main ingredient in rat poison I believe???

I totally agree with you that she has insecurites, we all do to some extend, she is getting better, she had some counseling during the years to cope with the depression of not having her father, she has had attitude problems but i dont believe too much more than expected for a teenager who wants to rebel. she would give me hell when i wouldnt let her go out with stupid fucks that would come around like dogs in heat. I must admit i dont understand why she has self esteem issues, she is beautiful. but i know its not just about looks, it goes way deeper than that. I have always been here for her, never left her to go out and party, i totally devoted myself to my kids.

we live in a very very small town and it is the only festival that comes here, we have 1 stop light in town and we live about 20 minutes from town in no where,,, i want her to have fun more than anything, she has had a lot of sadness and i cant keep her locked up even thou i would like to sometimes, she is 18 years old and went to be with some friends, i was just afraid he would be there and take advantage of the situation,,she told me today that he was there but she was not with him and for right now i believe it..i may be wrong for that (it wouldnt be the first time)

You need to tell someone, you have to if she is on something that has rat poison in it, it could kill her.

EXACTLY

Ay, I see.

angel dust

Angel Dust will lead you nowhere really fast.  I've heard of people trying to stop a train while on angel dust\PCP.  It's kind of the same when someone doing meth thinks that their head is bulletproof and then blow their head off.  Intervention is on tonight at 10 pm Eastern time here in the US.  It's a decent show that deals with addiction.  Tonight is a new episode about a Dr. who is a heroin addict and the doctor STILL is practicing medicine every single day!!!!!!  I can't wait to see how fucked up this one will be.  SO WATCH INTERVENTION TONIGHT IF THAT SHIT INTERESTS YOU!!!  It might teach you a little on how to handle people with addictions, not much, but maybe a tiny tiny bit.

If it were my kid, I would be standing in between the door before I let her out..................

it should be nipped in the bud just like my mouth at times.end it before it goes to far.ive seen intervention before,thankz.believe me i know about addictions.

Put the fear of God into the crackhead your daughter is hanging with.

In other words, make it in no uncertain terms this dude is going to be severely fucked if he messes with your daughter.

I definitely made it clear to him that i wasnt giving him another chance and did not want him around her. I did threaten him with the police which is who i spoke with when he took her and did crack. So far so good, i think

These things happen son.

Having spoken with your daughter, you may want to invest in a chastity belt and detox. I never showed up because I don't need it in my life - but I didn't want to name a reason to you, because I didn't think you had any idea about your daughters habits.  It's not my business and I don't know you, but if you know the problems, you can fix them.  Tough love cures all. God bless.  :peace:

for your info bluesgnr we have addressed this problem and she never went back out with him and she is dating a great guy who goes to va tech and is doing awesome, and im glad you never showed up just another liar is not what anyone needs either. She is growing up and gets a lot of attention from guys,,,some good some bad, but she is starting to make some good decisions! We all cant be perfect little fucks like you!

well if she's doing cocaine, at least she is partying in vip night clubs and driving ferraris and bentleys and such.

Right on, I want some of that!!

 ;D

uh..she is trying to make something of herself right now and doing great in school, i started this thread out of my fear that she would go back out with a guy who took her to a place where they tried crack..dumb son of a bitch...but she took my advice and did not go out with him, thank god. i dont need smart ass perfect fucks like bluesgnr acting as though he knows something about someone when he dont know shit. to everyone else thanks for the input most were pretty cool and thoughtful. : ok:

If you don't want smart ass remarks then you should have taken this subject to a recovery type board like I told you. What do you expect here? Sure there are people who mean well and wish you well, but none of them could have helped you like a CA board could have, and nobody there would have posted stupid shit either. How can you act surprised?

your right punk, i was just releasing some anxiety that night when i posted it, but all is doing much better now, my big fear did not happen that time...if i ever do need anything like that again i would go to different place.

is crack expensive ?

I must disagree.........she sure as hell can.

Yes.

Edit: and no.

It is sold in inexpensive packets/forms. But the user continues to smoke it all night and that is how it becomes expensive. Buying it 10-50 bucks a pop, all night long.

I'm willing to wager that I know more of your daughter's personal life than you (or, at least, according to what she told me).  She's a slut because her mother is a fat fucking hillbilly and she wants to rebel.  What a shock.  :hihi:

Wow........you are so fun knee*.............

*From MCT's " hackneyed jargon" post (http://www.heretodaygonetohell.com/board/index.php?topic=34816.100)