Let's get at it, 2024

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The Challenger is back in the driveway.  Yes, I am rather fond of that car.  It's a little young for me as I prefer an older model but who doesn't like a bad ass car on the driveway?     Mike is getting a new HVAC system tomorrow.  $17,000, are you fucking shitting me?  Maybe if he had a big, two story house but we're two bedroom duplexes.  I got mine for $3600 and labor was included in the work I was having done.  Granted I got a great deal but I got an outside estimate for $8,000.  Then again that was right as covid was hitting and prices hadn't went up.  It's already a done deal so no point in me making him feel bad about his purchase.  Probably should have had that car parked at my place when they came over to give him the bid.

We are getting a morning icing.  I don't have to be anywhere until 9:30.  If it's still bad by then I'll cancel, I don't drive on ice and neither should anybody else.

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We got slick this morning.  https://x.com/brianmmunoz/status/1749454885781700635?s=42&t=z6WIsYLm_T9i51ESjed9XQ  That's pretty scary, so close to taking out both those houses.  I think he clipped that blue car in the driveway, first boom.

I had my grandson all night so we didn't have to shuffle him around this morning.  The kids were over here with him within an hour of my suggesting it, dumped him and left.    Guess they needed a break.  The daddy was back to get him as soon as the weather cleared.  We had fun but he went to bed two hours late because the cat would not shut up.  Lily did not care for a little stranger in her room.  The other two just ran and hid.  They didn't care for something bigger than them crawling around on the floor.  He thought they were cool.

Texted my SIL to say it was lonely without my grandson here.  Trying to let him know I'm a good babysitter but he took it as they are bringing him over more often.     Yes they are at that stage in life where your only goal is to get some sleep.  It's damn tiring raising an infant.  Not only do they need lots of attention, they get sick and teeth.  I'm not ashamed to say I let the TV do a little babysitting.     He likes it and I learn a bunch of new earworms.    I was trying to think of when that might be but I'm busy.  Good luck finding a day where we can do that.

[cineater]

My task for the day was to clean carpets.  I'm thinking I'm way too ahead of myself.  We've gone warmer and rain.  I have dirty cat paw prints everywhere.  I would be cleaning only to have to do it again.  And the vent hood on the stove is out so it wouldn't be able to help get the moisture out.  Darn cleaning carpets is one of the funner household chores for me.

I can open all the window blinds again although we are overcast and foggy.  We're going above normal next week and my mind has turned to the wood pile the parks has.  I want to get back out there so bad.  But we are a muddy mess.

I knew the curtains were closed in the bedroom yesterday.  I'm walking around naked getting dressed.  I hear the workers out back starting to work on my neighbor's HVAC which is to the left of my window.  I look over and Lily has parted the curtains to look out at them.     The workers had to access his HVAC through my yard because he has a fence around his yard and his AC is attached to my side of the duplex.  My Ring camera was going off all day long!

I guess I could run the recycling over.  I haven't started the car in days.  Lucky I got a new battery last summer.  It's been running really rough lately.  I'm just waiting for something to break.  My calendar is completely open today.  I could fill it up with busy work but the coffee hasn't kicked in so I'm just letting the day slip away.  Everyday doesn't have to be packed full.

[cineater]

I just wanted a Coke.  Straight up noon so I thought I would run by the gas station.  The place was packed with construction guys getting lunch.  Decided to run to the other gas station.  Samething, not one parking spot.  I did not realize how many guys ate a gas station lunch.  Ended up at Walgreens.  They have those coolers you can't see into.  Stand in front of them and a picture pops up and shows you what is behind the door.  Why would you waste money on that?  If you left the clear glass, I could see what was in there.

Anyway, I'm looking for Coke in a can.  Something is wrong with the taste when it comes in a plastic container.  And they give you way too much.  So I find my can.  It's not that squat, little, fat can any more.  It's tall and narrow like the energy drinks but it does say original taste.  Remember New Coke?     Normally, I pair this up with beef jerky when I'm eating the gas station lunch but pass on that today.  I just want my Coke.

There's something about a Coke that just sets my body right.  I don't stock it at home.  It only takes one can and I go along time in between cans.  Like, how long ago did they change the can? 

[cineater]

That's cool.  My tax return has already processed and my refund is scheduled. 

I'm not as happy with the post office.  I mailed a sensitive document a few weeks ago and it hasn't shown up yet.  They say they are short staffed.  Postal Worker use to be a good job.  Wonder what happen?

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We've been through the 10 darkest weeks of the season. 

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Tax return in the bank.     This is the date places have to have their tax forms to you so you can do your taxes.  Stuff online has really sped up the tax process.  Again, if I do my taxes online, why can't I vote online?

Getting my shit together for cataract surgery.  Not complaining but holy shit!  I have 4 drops I have to take 4 times a day, five minutes apart.  One only for a week, 2 for 4 weeks and the 4th for 3 months.  And the eyes are done 2 weeks apart.  Try to put all that on a calendar.  Eventually I'll put it in my phone for alerts.  Probably when I can see better. 

I got better at taking meds with the phone alerts but I still have those days when I'm deeply involved in something.  I'll get on autopilot and when I come out of it, I don't remember if I did routine tasks, taking meds being one of them.  Or which cat did I let out and who has come in.   

Well, January is done.  People are already predicting an early spring.  Wishful thinking, they say that every year.  February has 29 days this year.  Those of us who were salary consider it the unpaid day.  Along with all that overtime they didn't pay.  I would assume if you're born on the 29th, you're officially not the next age until March 1 in non leap years, so no free drinkings for you on your 21st birthday because that is not divisible by 4, the day doesn't exist.  No, you weren't too drunk to remember. 

[cineater]

I think I figured it out.   Normally you crack an egg in the middle and use two hands to finish up.  The youtube videos I've seen where they are only using one hand, they get egg on their hand.  I hate that.  This time I cracked it 2/3 up to the short end and was able to pull off the top with my two fingers.  No egg on me and I think less egg shell pieces.  None of that clear stuff dripping down the side of the bowl.  I was on my 5th egg when I discovered that.  Worked on the 6th egg and then I was done with eggs.  I'll have to practice that.  I may have acquired a new skill. 

[cineater]

So my foster son didn't stay in contact after Christmas.  I figured it's hard for him to come back so I texted.  He did respond.  Wished him luck at his new job interview which he got.  He won't be able to take off and come visit this month which I figured wasn't happening anyway.  But he is with a big national chain and he can transfer back here in the fall.  It's an option, could be a good thing.  I'll take the ride and see where it goes.

In the meantime, nothing joy wise to write down.  Nothing bad but nothing with mad joy either.  Not even digging around in the wood pile, wtf?

I was unfamiliar with most of the names at the grammy's last night.  Of the new acts, if I did know their name, I didn't know their music.  I did find myself on a new satellite radio station today.  A kid's station and liked the song about water, laughed at the song about mommy tooting.   

[cineater]

Toby Keith, that's a big loss.   Loved Red Solo Cup.  

Can't get news about LA because they are too busy covering the Super Bowl, Taylor Swift and Trump!   

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I might be developing a skill.  The first egg I hit closer to the center but still only used one hand.  The second was dead on.  Still, I saw one tiny piece of egg shell.  You flunk if you get egg shell in it.  Nothing on my hand but I did have a little drip down the side.  It takes a certain amount of courage to crack an egg. 

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Not a skill yet.     That was just a mess.

Wow, only 8 cigarettes yesterday.  That doesn't mean I didn't think about it a million times though.  I'm practicing do something else when I do think about it and delay.  I know I'm stringing it out.  Cold turkey I can get through but eventually, after a few months, I always go back.  Instead of denying myself, I'm working on do you really want to?  It would be nice though if people would quit waking me up.  Drag my ass out of bed before I'm ready and I need a smoke.

[cineater]

Got the Maple Bacon Grilled Chicken.  Two grilled chicken breasts topped with maple glaze, drizzle of sweet n' smoky sauce, bacon, melted cheese and diced green onions at Cracker Barrel tonight.  That is some good stuff

Was at a conservation center.  They had jars of stuff you could smell.  Spring beaver, phew!  Fall stink bug, surprisingly, almost a nice flora scent.  Decaying forest, my scent, love that earthy smell.  They had a live, two headed snake which I always find unsettling.  Poor snake.  Different animal pelts.  Fox and Otter are really soft, mink and racoon not so much.  And a turtle that had got caught up in plastic and had a deformed shell.  You only have to see that once to remind yourself for life to cut up your plastic that holds the soda cans together.

I wasn't all that impressed with the gratitude lecture.  Nothing to really report from there.  Wasn't uplifted.     If I was looking for humor, maybe I should have went to the Funny Bone.

Susan and I did talk about the Green Day concert.  We'd both would mind seeing it but fuck the ticket prices.  And it is outdoors in August, in St Louis.  Maybe we'll change our minds, see how we feel about it when the time comes.

[cineater]

Did you know Pamela Anderson had her own TV show?  Pamela's Garden of Eden.  I'm not sure what it's about.  I figured gardening by the title and there is some of that.  She talked about renovation of her grandparents' old place and you get to see the outside of those renovations.  And renovating a place her kids just bought in LA although that's more redecorating.  It's really kind of strange.  She presents herself as having it all together yet she seems really lost and at times pretty fragile.  Keeps herself busy but it's like she's trying to not stop.  Keeps saying we're all alone in this whether it's remodeling the kid's house or gardening at the grandparents property.

Her boys seem pretty normal.  They buy this house together.  Pam walks in and immediately falls to pieces.  She's laughing nervously and can't seem to figure out what to do with a bouquet of flowers.  Tripping all over herself.  I get it, ran right into your kids are moving out and she couldn't hide it.  Her kids see it and accuse her of drinking too much coffee.  No, her heart just broke, empty nest syndrome.

She decides she has to take care of her parents.  Speeds them through the process of selling their house and moving onto her property.  She sure doesn't treat them like they need taking care of when with them but somehow feels like making decisions for them is her job now.

I kept watching thinking, lady you're a mess.  Midlife crisis in front of my eyes.  She has this thing for white, dresses in white, paints everything white.  Flurry of activity and then she can't do that, starts but quits.  When she sits still, she's at a loss for words and talks to her hands.  I'll have to keep watching to see if she finds herself.  She seems to have chosen a direction, of course I like it but, I don't think it's her.  She's very much fashion conscious and as you can see, making a TV show.  Not the simple life she lays out.

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Apparently Pam wasn't happy with season one.  Felt exploited.  I kind of see her as the Marilyn Monroe of the 80's.  I don't think she planned on being a sex symbol and got shoved into that roll.  When do you give that up?  It's a young person's roll.  Aging beauty queen is just kind of a sad roll to play.

Hey, joy tried to spark in me twice recently.  I could feel it but it died quickly.  For a second, it was just below the surface.  Going to look at it as I still have it, not gone for good, it will come back.  I read one time, if you don't like your life, realize it won't be this way in 5 years.  I found that very helpful working with people.  Nobody stands still.  Granted it could be more shitty.     But it changes.  If you can focus your attention on where you want to go or get away from, it gets you out of the now and moving forward.

Not to say I don't like my life, I do.  I'm just looking to add something I'm not sure what it is yet.

[cineater]

More people out just having a good time and gunned down at a parade.  I fully support people's right to bear arms but you folks have got to do something about keeping them out of the hands of crazies and criminals.  You can't keep putting it on me as you're defending your right.  I'm for you but you've got to protect all of us too.

And people leaving a Drake concert were mowed down by a speeding car last night in my town.  How do you even get a car up to any kind of speed in a mass exit from a concert is unclear to me but he did.  Lost control, hit other cars and killed people in the crosswalk.  People coming out to see who's breaking into their cars, shot coming out the door.

The solution can't be stop watching the news.     Although I've got to say there didn't seem to be as much outrage about any of these incidences like there has been.  You fault the news for sensationalizing this stuff, but lately it's been like this kind of activity is old news, just another day on the planet.  That's not a good place to be.  Shocked and outraged, not acceptance.

[cineater]

This is a weird ass letter.  The company incorrectly filled out one of my tax forms.  "Research shows that you should have received an amount"  in the box showing taxable income.  What do they mean research?  They are the expertise in this area and know damn well, it's taxable.  They fucked up and filled out the form wrong, there's no research to the issue.  "These corrections will be reported to the IRS soon."  Makes it sound like I did something wrong and they are giving me time to cover my ass.    Admit it, you filled out the form wrong and you could have caused me to fill out my forms wrong.  It's all your fault.

So about the form, I didn't read it so I didn't notice they did it wrong.  I knew what it was suppose to say and did my forms correctly.  But one would think with computers, that would have all matched up.  The IRS should have had their form on file so when my forms came in it all crossed referenced.  Can't the company's computer directly send it to the IRS computer?  Stuff shouldn't have matched up but yet I already have my tax return back.  Eventually, the computers do talk to each other but after years of government work, I can tell you it takes months, if not years.  They are pretty damn quick to mark you as dead though.

Anyway, somebody is probably going to mark my taxes for audit.  Not my fault, I'm clean.

[cineater]

The GNR race car at Dayton was one of the things on my joy list last year.  I still don't have anything on my joy list for this year!  It's bugging me.  I think I had like 5 things on the list by this time last year.  I don't want to force it, might not come and that would be frightening.  I do have a couple of things weighing me down so maybe once those pass. 

I'm thinking I should do something when I get my vision back to celebrate.  Any suggestions?  I've been seeing a lot of things through a blur.  A movie might be simple enough but it would have to be one with scenery.  Any movies like that coming up?

[cineater]

Realy, I was thinking I wanted a do over of the Christmas lights at the zoo.  "At the moment of commitment, the entire universe conspires to assist you."  Something Barbra Streisand talks about in her book.  Have to say it's mostly been like that in my life too.  Today my daughter points out the zoo is doing Animals Aglow, March through May!  A nightly light display at the zoo.  That's my celebration. 

[cineater]

I finally called the eye doctor and went in.  She removed a splinter from my eye.  Said it was in there kind of deep so it would probably hurt for a few days when the numbing stuff wore off.  Been a little while and it doesn't hurt.  The dermatologist said the spot on my nose is nothing to worry about. 

Just can't shake this feeling something is wrong.  My sister texted last night.  She is not going to be able to help mom get in and out of the bathtub any more.  My mother is a bath person and will miss that.  Susan's mom is wanting to go to a nursing home instead of having Susan care for her and she's in a lot of pain.  And then there's Marsha.

I feel like I need something to pull out of this.  The negative keeps adding up.  I need a big positive.  But for right now, a nap seems good.