Gardening 2023

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And we're back to dig all the sand out.     And how are we keeping the center of the fall from collapsing in?  Blocks going lengthwise instead of widthwise on the bottom layer.  Dirt in the front even with dirt in the back.   And we are just not building it that high!  Yes we are because that sand goes down a good 18 inches.  I told ya it was humped up to begin with and take all the sand out.  I don't know shit about building but I do know start with a clean slate.  You just end up doing things many times if you don't.  I can't help but have visions of Axl's retaining wall coming down.  His house has to be built on a pile of sand and rock.  How do they deal with all that?  Not very well the first time but I assume they figured out what went wrong the last time.

Today was spent filling up the holes in the cinder blocks with sand.  You know where that came from.     The wall, we're talking the cottage garden here, is finished.  Now we need to put the caps on the top.  Marsha and I are doing that Tuesday.  They get glued down.  Normally, your tops are one solid piece but Marsha donated the cheaper kind where the middle has the two big holes like a regular cinder block.  This might be better.  This area, the hole as I lovingly call it, fills up with flood water regularly and of course all the rain water runs down the hill.  The reasons the wall was coming down in the first place.  The block below the topper is in ground against the slope.  If water can pass through those holes on the cap, it won't be applying pressure against the cap which is attached to the block below it.  It should stay in place, right?  At least until after I'm dead.     Anyway, while I'm working the wall, I look up and the wall above it needs redone and the one below it too.  They are more outlining walls for the garden beds but they suck.     Next year or the one after for that.   

It's still in the 80's out there, summer weather.  Later next week we get fall weather but now I'm in a panic to get all these things done before winter weather gets here.  Marsha's husband was helping us today.  I ask him what he had planned on doing today besides this.  "We're working on our wills."  I had to laugh out loud.  It's not cancer that is going to kill us or any of those other things, it's the garden.  And we'll be doing exactly what we are doing now.  Out here in the heat with shovels and wheelbarrows.  Nobody has died in the garden yet.  I'll probably be the first.   

So for the Chocolate garden wall we need one of those black plastic tubes wrapped in fabric.  I'm trying very hard not to spend any more of our budget.  Okay, have some of that black tube I didn't throw away when I was cleaning up an area.  And I bought landscape fabric to do the paths.  Got more of that then we need, we're covered there.  I have a guy bringing me a load of one inch rock and we have the screening.  Got it covered.  Love that I don't have to buy any more stuff but I like it even more that I don't have to make another trip to Menards.

[cineater]

We were at our Botanical Gardens last night.  I'm always so underwhelmed when I see it.  I look around and think there's nothing attractive here.  It's more like a park then Disneyland.  The whole place is mostly shades of green.  There's no pops of color.  They go between dense forest and desert in their designs.  I'm not sure what's missing in their overall design.  I would start with huge spaces of color.  That's expensive and may be why you don't see it.  I would thin out those buildings with tropical plants.  They are using natives but they have a whole other place for that.  They really don't look good in front of the building.

They had the glass light display on last night.  They've had that before and kept a couple of pieces from the last time they did that.  The old ones looked faded and like they hadn't been cleaned in a long time.  The new ones, either too much light or not enough.  There's so much they do with LED lights these days that this just looked old fashioned.  I think it's time has ended.

Our place doesn't look that great right now either.  Lack of rain and the end of the growing season.  I don't think the Botanical Gardens suffers from funding, it's just directed in the wrong place, not for staff.  You see them do big projects with structures but I bet the actual funding for maintenance people is lacking.  We have the same problem.  If we just had more people to take care of the place.

[cineater]

Quarterly count up, 850.5 volunteer hours.  Doesn't include all the phone calls, emails and computer time.

[cineater]

And it changes again.  Back to we're just not going to put that much work into a wall.  Oh thank god.  Two or three more work sessions and the three renovation beds should be ready for spring planting.  I did stop by some stuff set by the side of the road for free.     Got the enclosure cage for the in ground bee area.  It's a small animal crate.  That should work.  Maybe we can grow a small vine on it for shade.  The ground under there should be bare earth, bumble bees and native bees are in ground nesters.

It's still hot but I went ahead and put grass seed around the area where the step at the greenhouse was repaired.  I'll just have to water everyday until we get rain and it cools off.

I'm on my way to babysit at the pot plantation.  It's clean up the flower heads day.  I'm keeping my shoes on this time.   

[cineater]

Can't say that didn't hurt.  My SIL went off on me when I showed up today.  Kept saying he wanted me just to be the grandma.  Trying to get to the meaning of that, he was pissed that I invited them to the zoo.  He wants to have that experience with his child without me.  Said I need to find somebody.  Okay, is this because I invited my daughter to a concert in the spring, one in the fall that didn't happen and tried to make up for that by inviting her to the garden light show?  I invited him to the concerts but only had one extra ticket for the light show.  I just tried to make peace.  Didn't mention it to my daughter when she came home.  I'm sure he will tell her all about it.  He didn't know what to say to me after the conversation.  Did say they were both on the same page. 

Okay, you know, I'm just a parent trying to have an experience with my child even though she's all grown up with a family of her own.  I don't think once every 3 or 4 months is out of line especially when I try to include her family.  Can't say I don't deserve that though.  I treated my mother the same way.  Once I got into my adult life I pretty much ignored her and thought she was a pain in the ass when we did get together.  I didn't roll model that relationship very well.

[cineater]

The stone path in the Fruit Arboretum is done!  We just set the top blocks in place on the cottage garden wall.  Decided to wait until the lead gets back to make sure it's how she wants it.  I was glad we could finish Marsha's project.  She has another round of chemo Monday.

Aw, my grandson has a double ear infection and is teething.  Knew he was off his game yesterday.

[cineater]

It was all going so well with Marsha until we came back after lunch.  Then it was some comment about the grasshopper, the sign for the pantry bed, and then some comment about the brick project not being done.  All of this is somehow coming off as my fault.  On the bricks I say I tried to get him started by doing half of it but he keeps delaying it.  Blames that on me too with a you know how you are with pushing people.  Excuse me but the last project he told me he would do, 3 years later he still hadn't done it and I still ended up having to do that.  Plus she complains about him all the time as being a procrastinator.  Try to let that one roll off my back.  I wanted her to look at some construction because I think it needs some glue under the bricks.  She walks up saying I had over did it by putting up caution tape around it.  I had seeded the area is why the tape was up.  Okay so she backed off there but then she's saying she's putting a bench there so we won't have to worry about it.  Why?  It's not that big of an area for a bench and we don't need seating there.  Came back at me, I should move the pothead planters I have sitting on the benches to decorate around the greenhouse during the summer when we don't use it.  I take them away when we are using the greenhouse and there's only one on each bench, plenty of room to still sit there. 

You know, what the fuck?  It ended with a comment about she was getting with Phebe tomorrow when she gets back and making plans to take out two of the pantry beds.  Okay, I don't have a problem with that except the girl just became pantry lead, give her a minute.  But it was more like she was looking for an argument about that.  Yeah, I'm just going home now.  You want to have an argument with someone, you've got a husband, go pick one with him.  Sorry Bob.   

Between the SIL yesterday and her today, I'm feeling pretty beat up on.  I'm pretty skilled at not letting things blow up into verbal altercations and calming people down but when it's personal like that it really takes its toll.  You start questioning your own behavior, wondering what you did wrong, where your good intentions went off the rail, are they really right about you.  The double beat up.  They hit you and you hit on yourself.  Miserable place to be.  I just need some quiet time in the garden.  Do something where I see success and not feel like a fuck up.  Mowing grass is good for that.

[cineater]

Phebe is back!  Met with her this morning and turned the pantry garden over to her.  Gave her the leads expectations and assured her I would help with the transition.  I wouldn't say transition.    I'm done.  I'll keep up the watering and want to meet with her and the team to discuss how it went this year.  I guess I should say wrap up my participation.  It wasn't hard doing that but I don't have the knowledge to help the team or the time to look it up.  They need somebody working with them that knows what the plants are doing and need.  Phebe is going to be great!

Garden tours went well today.  Everybody who signed up, showed up.  I did one and Amy did one.  People were very friendly and in no hurry to leave when it was over.  We've had a little rain, enough to run us indoors but not the good drink everybody needs.

[cineater]

Ugh, I might have did it again  I asked my SIL earlier in the week if he was going to need me to babysit.  I'm very busy and trying to babysit for them at the same time so he can work the pot plantation.  He told me he wouldn't need me until next week.  We had already scheduled tomorrow because he was going to pot school all day.  My daughter told me this morning that had been cancelled at the last minute.  I figured I was free and clear and made other plans with Marsha.  So tonight when I mentioned I would bring something over next week to my daughter, she asked if I was still coming over tomorrow.  Apparently he was expecting me to still come.  I hope that didn't cause any friction between them.  You know, I had offered to take the baby overnight since he's sick and keeping them up thinking I was helping out.  They could get a good night's sleep and go to work and school rested.  Otherwise she probably wouldn't have said anything about it.

[cineater]

Talked with a young woman who was on the garden tour yesterday.  She came with her father. She just got out of college with a masters in plant pathology, living back at home with the folks.     Oh yeah that sucks.  Most the time when she was talking, her father was taking little jabs at her.  She was rolling with the punches, just trying to keep the peace.  You could kind of tell she was a sickly kid.  She told us what her health issues were.  Said something about getting all the bad stuff from the genetic pool.     I took an instant liking to her.  You're a trooper kid.

[cineater]

He wasn't hitching.  Marsha and I had passed him walking along the road on our way back to the garden.  He was still walking when I left.  If you are walking the roads around the garden it's generally because your car is broke down.  So I offered him a lift.  Turns out I picked up a restaurant worker from down the street.  His car is broke down and the chain on his bike is busted.  He's a veteran, husband, father of two.  He and his family have been living in the hotel down the street for 3 years.  Just can't afford the high prices for rent around here.  His name is Terry.  Not the sharpest tool in the shed.  I social worked him over.  He has all the services.  Nice guy.  Told him if I saw him out on the road again I'd pick him up.

I scratching the digging out of the path project.  I just don't know if that's the right thing to do.  Marsha's not even sure.  Best to wait until the solution presents itself.

The opportunity presented itself to bring up the SIL issue with my daughter.  He had told her we talked and he didn't want her to say anything.  He had mentioned a few things to her but it sounded to her "it was more about wording".  Told her I wanted to chat with her in more detail about it and maybe set up some boundaries.  Told her I was going to follow up with him next week. 

[cineater]

The Counsel approved our 3 bed renovations.  Not really approved but didn't object and were duly impressed.

I found out the state conference was cancelled due to low registration.  Just what a couple of us have been saying about the event they want us to plan for in 2026.  They are taking the state one virtual for free but no advanced training.  Wonder how much money they lost on that?  I dropped out of our planning committee saying what they were planning I couldn't support.  Wonder how this is going to rock their world now.  We can make money on what Marsha and I came up with.

[cineater]

I am so not ready for this.  It was too hot but now it's too chilly.  I've got all the house plants back in here.  Spent the day working in my own yard and organizing the garage.  Turned on the heater in the car and the house.     If we had been coming at this from spring, it would be a nice day.  As it is I'm putting away the Sloggers and pulling out the hiking boots.  Dressing in layers for the garden tomorrow.  Scheduled mom's yard for Sunday to do fall clean up.

Every year about this time I think I'm not doing this again next year.  I'm tired.  I'm tired of the business side of this.  The politics, the people management and the time it takes.  And every next year I pile on more, get more involved and fight my way through.   

[cineater]

We got 3/4 of the cinder block wall done.  Each of those blocks weighs 36 pounds.  And I have this real aversion to getting my fingers crushed!  Once this bed is framed in, just fill it with dirt and it's ready for next spring planting. 

For the moon garden we have to hit the highway.  There's this place where you can get free rock that has fallen from the highway walls, we're going to get us some.  The bed will be lined with it.  Moon garden, moon rocks, following the theme?

We might try to do the hardscape in the three beds but we need to get them covered in cardboard and leaf mulch on top of them.  Time is starting to run out.

I'd say something about the plants but they are all grown up and waiting to die.  I'll start pulling out things next week trying to stay ahead of the weather.  No rush, we have time except I have a lot to do.

[cineater]

I keep forgetting to mention the bald eagle.  I see him, or it might be a her, pretty frequently now.  He fishes in the creek that runs along the garden.  We're about 5 or 7 miles from the river where they nest.  This one looks to be young so maybe we will get a nest by us.  Brian says there is already one to the northwest from us.  There's a lot of building going on in the area so the eagles maybe looking for some quieter spots.  We're in one of those little pockets.

They are something to see but they fly by pretty quickly.  Some of your hunting birds kind of circle around looking for prey or playing in the currents.  These guys seem to always be about their business and dead on for it.  You barely have time to see that white head before they are gone.  He flys about 15/20 feet above the creek, going with the current.

[cineater]

Finally, my Black Beauty eggplant has an eggplant on it.  All summer and nothing, bloomed later than I thought it would too.  Don't know if it has time to produce fruit with the weather changing.

Beka and I are going to try to finish the cinder block wall on Tuesday because it is going to rain on our work day.  I mentioned something about getting started on a cast iron piece, taking the rust off, tomorrow while I'm out there digging up my canna and elephant ears.  And now I guess we are going to paint that Tuesday too.  I was only getting started on that rust.     Guess I'm going to be there awhile tomorrow.

Marsha found a skeleton and fur in the large tool shed.  How does something die in there and we not smell it?  How long has it been there for the gooey to be gone and just the pelt and skeleton be left?  Anybody want to ask again why I have that shed scheduled to be cleaned out on the 25th?  She spent all day working in the greenhouse.  Chemo is tomorrow.  Where's your husband?  Don't you have stuff to do at home?  Questions one would wonder why she's at the garden.  Doesn't surprise me why she's there, just tells me how worried she is.

[cineater]

Carmen is at the Baker seed fall sale.  She sends an email saying everything is two bucks and do I want anything.  I send her a list of 7 seeds all with the word chocolate in it.     Basically if it has the word chocolate in it buy me some.

[cineater]

I ran out of burlap bags before I could finish digging out all the canna and elephant ear bulbs.    I wish that was all there was to it.  They still need to dry, have all the dirt taken off them and roots cut off before they go into storage.

Jim is going to get me in trouble.  He wants to give the creamer a concrete base to attach it to.  You know how Marsha feels about concrete being used out there.  He's going to do it and ask permission later.  You can't involve me in that!  I'm suppose to set the example around here.  I'm still running it by Marsha.   

It would take days and a mountain of sandpaper to get the rust off and smooth out the paint chips on that cast iron piece.  Cleaned it up as best as I could.  It's getting painted tomorrow, just don't look that close and wait for the vine to grow up on it, it will be fine.

My grass seed came up!  Hopefully tomorrow I can close out 3 more projects.  Moving right along, only 6 more projects left and they are wrapping up.  I would have cleared them by the end of October except for Kevin and the brick project.  He wants to do that November 12th.  Jim looked at it today and wanted to know what was taking so long.  Glad that annoys him because first chance I get to get off these other projects I'm going to ask him to help me close that one out.

I swear I'm eating and I've been out to eat almost every other day for the last two weeks.  Lord knows I'm hitting up the chocolate!  But I just keep losing weight.  You need a little weight on you to get that shovel through the dirt.  But the worst part is I have to keep pulling up my pants!  Odd complaint, right?  I can range between 130 and 120.  120 I feel like a wuss.  130 and I can kick ass.     I'm headed for wuss and I need kick ass.

[cineater]

Marsha wasn't out of chemo 5 minutes before she texted me and wasn't even in the car yet when she called.  I don't know why.     Something tells me she's going to be at the garden tomorrow.  Normally the chemo doesn't kick in until Wednesday.  Is this some kind of I'm stronger than cancer thing and she's trying to prove it?  She's wearing me out trying to keep up with her.   

[cineater]

Yes!  The cinder block wall is finished.  Still need to glue a couple of blocks together and get the toppers.  No show on Marsha and not returning texts.  She will when she can, must have hit her a day early.

The canna bed is completely down and winterized.  I brought home 8 burlap bags of bulbs.  I swear I only put in a bag of bulbs.

SIL text today.  There's something I need to tell him.  A good parent guides their child towards independence.  It's scary when they want to do things on their own like play outside, go out with friends, drive the car.  Heartbreaking when they move out.  As a parent you have to be supportive and not let it show that you are worried, sad and kind of freaking out.  Okay, you would have thought my daughter died when she moved out.  I told her about it years after because I wanted her to know in case she has a similar reaction when her kid goes.  I won't be there to support her.  She said she didn't know I was freaking out.     Anyway, you would think when your kid gets married, one might have some of those reactions you had to the child's independence but no.  When she married him, it was settling.  She had somebody to go through life with.  It wasn't just me anymore.     And he was going to be there everyday.  Lots of pressure off the old mom here.