General Babble

[cineater]

Somebody tell Richard to stay off of 270.  Multiple land closures at multiple exits.  Totally ruined my cruise to mom's.  St Louis, they treat the highways like a race track and don't read the road signs.  Two right lands closed means get in the far left lane and stay there.  Nope, they see open road and have to ride it right up to the orange cones.  

Mom's 90th birthday party went well.  I had the food there 20 minutes early and the people who got there early dove right in.    Mom's favorite KFC.

I asked mom what were some of the happy memories of her life.  The question kind of took her by surprise.  Her first was Disneyland.  "It was so clean."  She went the first year, the first one was open.  Her second was getting her tubes tied.  She was on her 4th unplanned pregnancy.  She wanted one earlier but in those days you had to have a medical reason.  Said her doctor finally agreed after she convinced him she could afford any more kids.  He blamed it on varicose veins.  And then my dad had to sign consent.  Kind of explains my mother.  She wanted to do something with her life besides raise kids and be a wife.  I can't imagine not having the right over your own body.

We did family pictures.  Okay, I'm wearing the same dress, with the same hairstyle I had when my daughter and I did pictures 5 years ago.  Besides hating pictures, that says something sad about me.  You want to see something funny, watch the adults in the family try to get the grandbabies to smile.  We were singing kids songs and everybody trying the dances.     They mostly just looked at us like we were weird.

And my sister has decided to leave a day earlier on her vacation and mom plans on spending an extra day with me.    I don't get why she is so excited to come to my place.  I have no idea what I'm going to do with her.  And I don't know what to feed her.  It's just me so I kind of just graze through out the day.  The only time I have a meal is when I go out to eat.

[cineater]

Music Sunday.     I drink too much coffee and smoke too many cigarettes on these days.  And spend too much time at this.  Get me started on being my own DJ and I just can't leave.  "This could be the last time, I don't know."  Life moves pretty quickly, at least in my world.  Lots of stuff to do.  Duty, responsibility and obligations.  It's a bitch, I know.  But during this time, I can just shut it down and be me.  Probably where I get the energy to go back at it.  Will think about that later.

I should get this t-shirt:  It's weird to be the same age as old people.     If you don't look in the mirror, you forget you're old.  The body reminds you but you just deal with it.  You have to deal with the folks who like to point that out to you, you're old.  I've noticed they don't cut you any slack when it comes to what they expect you to do for them.     Actually, they find out you're retired and think your time is there for them to use.  Same as your younger days, get busy doing for yourself before somebody gets you busy doing for them.  It's the curse of people who like to be busy.  That and I have to use drugs and alcohol to get my ass to sit down.     Or what I learned when that became a problem, get physical and kick your own ass.     I kind of like that but drugs was easier.

[cineater]

All good things must come to an end.  Can't say it was fun but check cleaning the windows off my list.  I do like clean windows.  It's not that dirty of a little world after I do that. 

[cineater]

The Sees candy made it from California, to my place, to mom's intact.  She was surprised.  As I was telling her that was all for her and she didn't have to share she was chewing on a piece and hiding the box in her room.  Don't think she had any intention of sharing.     I finally got my birthday carrot cake at mom's birthday lunch.  Happy 90th mom.  They gave her a free tart.     And were out of the Reese peanut butter pie.

I have to learn how to walk a feeble person.  Mom wants to hold onto my arm for stability.  I have no idea what to do if she starts to fall.  I want to hold her arm, way too tight, to make sure she doesn't fall.  I guess if she's holding on to my arm and starts to fall, I reach across  and grab her under the armpit.  I'm afraid I would hurt her if I just grab her arm.  As it is, I have my hand on top of hers so I'm prepared to get there quicker.  I wish she'd use her cane but I get it, doesn't want to use it in public and it makes her back hurt bending over like that.

[cineater]

Not only do I think it's a total waste of money, now I have to wrap a 40 pound box of weights and a 30 pound workout bench.     How much wasted money is there in workout equipment that people never use?

[cineater]

The trees were going every which direction.  I lost another big branch and two trees are down in the retention basin.  People have pictures of a tornado about a half a mile from me but the sirens never went off.  Power was out for 9 hours.  That creaking tree hit Brian's roof and is still caught up in the canopy.  Leaves everywhere.  Weird because the wind never really came down to ground level.

[cineater]

One tree ready for the chainsaw and another to go.  Fortunately where I live we can burn in fire pits.  My brush pile is doubled in size.  The stuff over in the drain basin, we'll just drag the fire pits over and burn it there.  I still need to run up to the gardens and blow off the parking lot before the employees get there.  It's just really hot and humid out there right now.  Waiting for sunset and the crack of dawn.  The hotter it gets, the bigger the bowl of ice cream. 

[cineater]

It says twitter but then there's this X?  I'm lost, did somebody tweet or did they X?

[cineater]

Chatty tonight.

I get a card from Susan today.  She makes her own and enjoys focusing in on that.  On the front is a sticker:  Never Forget How Wildly Capable You Are.  Inside says:  Always Be Brave!  Thank her and she tells me the sticker comes off and I can put it on something.  Makes me smile.  Reminds me more of Susan then myself.  Glad she thought those words meant something I needed to hear.

Little later I'm talking to DJ.  She's got an antique cream separator I might have a use for.  It's kind of cool, about 5 feet tall, nice yard ornament for the right spot.  Anyway, she got the same card and is immediately suspicious of the meaning.  Is Susan saying something about herself or about her?  Er, she just likes making cards and got some free stickers.  I got the same card.    I get it, the scanner is always on.  Don't want to miss a sign somebody is having a rough time.  Could be a parting card.  I already touched base with her.  And I did not miss that you related that card to yourself.  What's going on over there?  The scanner is always on.  Damn card.  

That was probably the last of the thunder, darn it.  Last night's storm woke me at 3:40.  Lots of big bangs and lightning.     Simone never came in.  Not even to the garage.  Tonight she's picked her spot on the couch and not budging.  She was one wet kitty when she came in this morning.  Terrapin, the bed hog, scratched me last night when I tried to go back to bed.  She was trying to get me to pet her.  She's a scary cat to sleep with.

[cineater]

I'd never heard this song before.  I'm surprised the Grateful Dead didn't snatch this one from Jerry Garcia.  It's a cover from the 30's and 40's.  It would be a great song with just the right amount of tease in it.  Woman's panties headed for the stage.    It's the Days Between on the Grateful Dead channel.  Jerry was born on Aug 1 and died on the 9th.  They play a lot of his individual work during this time.  Weezer does a song with the same title but it's not it.  Probably just a rip off of the title of the song.  Jerry started playing around with it in the 70's and still playing around with it in 90's.  The words need a frontman working it with the audience to make it a killer.  I'm surprised Elvis or Tom Jones didn't cover this, woman would have fainted.  Jerry's having too good of a time jamming with the tune and missing the sexy part of this song.  And he jams totally away from it if you ask me.  Sounds like he had to stop himself and go back to the song.  Should have been flirting with the sisters, they get it.  Get through the jam, Good Night Irene is next.    Or maybe that's just my playlist.

Anyway, Don't Let Go  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyf9eLR0cRY

[cineater]

That was super freaky.  To see somebody on TV that should have been you.  That was Grail and my dream.  What we were trained, raised for and where we were meant to be before the alcohol and drugs sent us down different paths.

You can see the control there.  She's still working it but she got there and has been there her whole life.  They traveled the world with the military, collected their shit.  Made a home and a family.  He died last year unexpectedly and she is carrying on.  Has impeccable taste, not over done but classy and modern.  Somebody to look up to but not looking down at you.  Knows her duty, responsibilities and obligations and does it.  All around her is clean and perfect but that's just the way it is, not a burden.  She even looks like me.

I like her.  I know she's missing her husband but there's something more there.  The way she rigidly holds her body.  How she carefully poses with her arms.  Does she know she's acting?  I'm seeing simple perfection but I don't think that's what I'm looking at.  She's way too skinny and she holds back, very controlled.  I'm wondering if that need for a wine frig is the perfect hostess or I should be counting wine bottles in the trash before I'm thinking it could have been different? 

[cineater]

Another new song, "I'm not broke but I'm bent".     I hear ya.

[cineater]

Caught Mike outside and ask about him trying to get the Camaro started.  A few nights ago I thought I heard the rumbling of thunder but on the second round I realized it was coming from his garage.  Before he rebuilt it, the whole neighborhood knew when it roared to life.  Also smelled the exhaust.    It sounded like it wanted to go but wasn't getting gas.  Nice sound but it just wouldn't catch.  He got a big smile when I asked about it.  Right, it's not getting gas.  He's working through it, checked the gas line.  My guess is it's the carburetor.  They are tempermental.  He's got a new one but that doesn't mean it was built right or didn't get jolted around in shipping.  I'll go over tonight and let him talk through it with me.  Not that I know anything, just giving him somebody to talk at.    I'm ready to hear it turn over.

[cineater]

I better get on it.  Julie is actually going to make this appointment with me.  Julie and I were single parents together.  She lived across the street from me and a day didn't go by we didn't spend time together.  She found her man and moved way across town about 10 years ago.  We hung for a while but the distance increased and many missed get togethers.  Apparently, all these years she bought me little presents for birthdays and holidays.  Never got them to me or forgot them when she did stop by.  I just quit buying her gifts because it was so hard to get time with her.  Just little stuff, we'll see what she's got.

Her visit is a little sad.  She's visiting her grandson.  Her son had a baby in high school, gave it up for a adoption and committed suicide at 21.  Hence Julie's problem with spending time in the neighborhood or with me.  It will be good to see her..

[cineater]

It was good to see Julie.  She's still consulting with psychics about her son.  If it helps to ease her mind, I'm not going to question it.  The adoptive parents of her grandson separated and the dad died a few days after Christmas last year.  He's 13 already.  Where do the years go?

Mike liked my Camaro, the GNR race car.  He is draining the gas tank.  Nobody knows how old the gas is in that car.  And he's decide to go ahead and replace the gas tank.  It's going to be a while longer before that car runs.  Doesn't really matter if it runs any time soon.  It's a moving death trap when it does.  Something for him to fuck with.  It's no fun when it's done.

Figured out why I'm so chatty online.  It's been raining.  I normally work on my novel then.  Just haven't been connected to it, so here I am.  When I garden is when I get all my ideas.  The plants are overwatered at this point.  We've got a few days of dry weather and I'm about to get out there and go at the weeds.  They've flourished in this weather.  And really, I have to quit sleeping late and staying up all night.  My break is just about over and I have shit to do.

[cineater]

I have no idea what I signed up for.  The electric company installed a new smart meter on my house.  Now they want me to sign up for the energy saver program.  I get a free thermostat, $50 for signing up for the program and $25 every year I participate.  On peak days, they get to adjust my thermostat 3 degrees and send me an email saying try not to use your electric, you are getting charged more.  At least I think that's how it works,  I just wanted to get rid of the email and get to the other 20.     Maybe I should read through the program.  I mean this sounds too good to be true.  They can flip a switch and cut me off at anytime.  Do I really need to be worried they are going to fuck with me?  I set my thermostat at 72 and leave it there.  A little bit up and down makes no difference to me.  I can do my laundry anytime.  The price don't really matter to me but cheaper is better.  Just tell me what I need to do and I'll play along.

[cineater]

Beat the fuck out of myself for 15 hours, there was no way I wasn't walking into pinball and kick some ass.    Lets see if I move out of the number two spot.

[cineater]

Moved into the number one spot.     I play Katherine next week.  I'm getting my ass kicked.  Short lived victory dance.

[cineater]

Nothing like technology to try my patience.     My printer started printing blank pages since we had all these lightning storms.  I've patiently tried all the fixes over a series of days.  There's only so many times I can restart the computer and not have it fixed before I lose my shit.  Tonight's attempt didn't work either.  I may be giving up.  It's cheaper just to buy a new one then try to have it fixed.

Then the thermostat thing with the electric company lied to me.  They said they installed it, no they don't.  The help center even said the website saying they would was wrong and she would pass that up the chain of command.  Doesn't help me with a free install on what I just bought.  I'm pretty sure I can get my SIL to do it but I'm not talking the program up for them.

Stop fucking with me.

[cineater]

That's the little guy.  He's done wearing the helmet.  He styled that helmet.