Dj Ashba - Bullying Survivor; Exclusive Story

[FunkyMonkey]

Dj Ashba - Bullying Survivor

Lead Guitarist of Guns N' Roses - Exclusive Story

4/16/12

My years of growing up in a loving household, filled will hopes and dreams, were shattered to pieces from the day I was born. All I can remember is being petrified as a child, not only for my own safety, but for my mother's as well. Every moment of every day would depend on my Dad's mood. Most of my time was spent hiding in the back of my closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound of violence coming from the next room.

Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wake up call consisted of my dad's fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the Shining. The crazy part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect. I even went as far as putting him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time. I can't begin to tell you the countless days of walking home from school, scared to death to walk through the front door. The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.

The real hero was my mother, I can not tell you what an amazing human being she is. Looking back now and realizing how she risked her own safety for my well-being. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire, "diving onto the grenade" so to speak. My dad would use me as leverage against her simply because he knew I was her world. To him, I was his worst mistake. Having my dad doing everything in his power to get me out of the house, even pulling on one arm and my mom trying to stop him by pulling on the other, is a far cry from a fun ride at Disneyland. My entire life since, I have lived with being mentally and physically abused. I have lived with abandonment issues. I have spent my whole life never shedding a tear due to me accidentally falling down the steps one Christmas morning. When I was about 3 years old, I tumbled down the stairs into the the room where my dad sat in front of the fireplace and started to cry.

Stockings hung from the mantel and lights shown bright through the greenery. My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don't cry. He said, "You wanna be a little cry baby, I'll give you something to cry about." as he beat me. Then, I would have to go to school and try to hide the perfect hand shaped welts on my body. After all of that, I would still sit up waiting by the window like a beaten puppy, waiting for him to come home every night. That is, until the night he never came home again. I became the head of the household, way to young for anyone in life. I grew up in the middle of nowhere a tiny little town called Fairbury without a TV in my house so, I am living proof that anyone can over come anything in life and still reach your dreams. Somehow I was able to bottle all of my anger and use it for my motivation. Motivation to do what ever I had to do to turn out nothing like my dad. Do I hate him for what he did to us? No, I have forgiven him, but I will always live through his mistakes and continue to become a better person.

http://www.bullyville.com/?page=story&id=4411&sid=4575


Thanks to Jarmo

[Koskenkorvasieni]

Wow. I'm at a loss for words here. I have a lot more respect for DJ after reading that.

[FunkyMonkey]

Dj Ashba:

To ANYONE that has ever been bullied in life, YOU are NOT alone. Telling this story about my childhood was not... http://fb.me/IY6NTQxg

[volcano62]

A lot of unsuspected people have dark backgrounds. Congrats to DJ for getting through this and making his dreams come true.

[FunkyMonkey]

Guns N? Roses guitarist DJ Ashba tells emotional story of childhood abuse

April 17, 2012

Guns N? Roses guitarist DJ Ashba is sharing his emotional story of childhood abuse for the first time. Ashba says he was physically and mentally abused by his father from a very young age.

?It has been hard for me as it?s something I have blocked out my whole life? I moved out when I was 16, and I never looked back,? Ashba told FOX411?s Pop Tarts column exclusively. ?But if I can help just one person who is being bullied, then this is worth it. It is such an important topic, and it stays with you.?
Ashba is embracing a new role apart from his famous rock band as the new spokesperson for the anti-bullying website, BULLYVILLE.com. ?I had to get involved,? he told us. ?I don?t get involved in things unless I believe in them 100 percent.?

In a lengthy personal account to be posted on the website, Ashba details his earliest memories being ?petrified? not only for his own safety, but for his mother?s too, as ?every moment of every day? would depend on his dad?s mood.

?Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wakeup call consisted of my dad?s fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the ?Shining.? The craziest part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect,? Ashba wrote. ?I even went as far as to put him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time.?

But the real hero, Ashba says, was his mother.

?Looking back now realizing how she risked her own safety for my wellbeing. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire,? he continued. ?The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.?

Ashba tells of the time he spent ?hiding in the back of the closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound,? and reflects on the time he was about three years old, and tumbled down the stairs, crying, into the room where dad sat in front of the fireplace.

?Stockings hung from the mantle and lights shone bright through the greenery,? he recalled. ?My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don?t cry. He said, ?you want to be a little cry baby, I?ll give you something to cry about,? as he beat me.?

Ashba said he has used his tumultuous past as motivation to be the best person he could be and, saying that despite everything, he has come to forgive his dad.
?I don?t hate him, I don?t wish anything bad on him ? nobody gives you a handbook on how to be a father,? Ashba added. ?I don?t know what to expect (from him) now that I have told my story, and I don?t really care. This time it is about me, not him.?

A source close to Ashba says he and his estranged father have recently started texting once in a while to work towards resolving their differences, and that the father has come to see him at performances.

Ashba?s father could not be reached for comment, but his current wife, reached on the phone, denied any knowledge of him having abused his son.

Ashba says that while he is working to mend family fences,?Anger sort of fuels the fire that keeps me going inside, and in a way, success today really comes from seeking approval that I never got when I was little. But no matter how big or successful you become, there is always a hole in your heart.

?I?m lucky that I am in a position where I have a voice, I can step up and bring awareness, and I wanted to share my story and be a spokesperson for Bullyville because it provides an online community and a place for people getting bullied to get help and understand they aren?t alone? But this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.?

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/04/17/guns-n-roses-guitarist-dj-ashba-tells-emotional-story-childhood-abuse/

[volcano62]

Btw, why its mentioned as bullying, isnt it domestic violence? 

bullying
Verb: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone)

[HBK]

Poor Dj... Fuckin Violence

 

[westcoast_junkie]

DJ - Respect

[FunkyMonkey]

BullyVille.com Partners With GUNS N' ROSES Guitarist DJ Ashba To Put An End To Bullying

April 17, 2012

BullyVille Inc., the internet's first anti-bullying social website and media platform is excited to announce their partnership with one of the world's greatest musicians, DJ Ashba. Ashba, the lead guitarist for GUNS N' ROSES and SIXX: A.M., who has also worked with other influential artists such as M?TLEY CR?E, DROWNING POOL, MARION RAVEN, AIMEE ALLEN and NEIL DIAMOND, recently used BullyVille.com himself to reveal his struggles coping with being bullied as a child by his own father.

In a statement to the press upon signing his partnership deal in Las Vegas, Ashba, who was raised in rural Fairbury, Illinois, said, "I've had my fair share of struggles growing up in a small town trying to make it as a musician, but I want other kids and teenagers to know that they are not alone and that anyone can do, and more importantly, be anything they want... I'm living proof!"

BullyVille founder James McGibney said, "I know for an unequivocal fact that with Dj Ashba's voice and passion, he will help spread the important message of anti-bullying and make it a more prevalent issue within communities around the world. BullyVille is the first anti-bullying website bringing individuals and celebrities together online to share their bullying stories and offer support."

[FunkyMonkey]

Dj ASHBA?

Dj Ashba and Ceo/ founder of Bullyville.com James McGibney. "Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love n' support. I am very proud to team up with Bullyville and do whatever I can to help bring awareness to kids, men and women of all ages who are being bullied all over the world. YOU are NOT alone and together we WILL fight back. Please check out http://www.BullyVille.com/ and follow @Bullyville Thank you so much, your support means the world." Much Love ~DJA

Photo: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=9525441&l=2c26ff27d8&id=208130482474

[DeN]

very sad. another common point with Axl.
not a surprise they get along very well.

[LunsJail]

where was that concert from, does anyone remember? 

I think it's 1992 Chicago

[3STRANG3D]

Hey thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9z6z7IGbPc

[CIAT]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/anti-bullying-website-takes-shuts-revenge-porn-website/story?id=16174425

[cyllan]

Been meaning to post on this thread for a couple of days. Just want to acknowledge Dj's bravery for opening up publicly about his traumatic past and using his public status to support such a worthwhile endeavour. I'll admit that I hadn't heard of Dj before he joined GN'R but he's such a brilliant fit for the band that I find it incredibly hard to imagine it without him now. And, having been fortunate enough to meet him on the last tour, I'd like to say what a genuine and fun guy he is in person too.

My admiration and respect goes out to you Dj and I hope this campaign helps children in similar circumstances to yourself to realise their goals and live their dreams.

 

[willow]

Much respect Dj!! This is a great way for you too help others and too help yourself heal.
 I was bullied when I was very young and dealt with mental and physical abuse at home for years. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones. The bullying stopped and after years of abuse my Mother worked very hard too be a better person. I am glad too say today that my Mother is my best friend. We spent years trying too heal. One thing I would like too bring up is bullying and abuse usually stem from past pain. Remember the person bullying or abusing is hurting too. We all need help too heal. Again much respect Dj!! Hugs in the biggest way!!!

[raindogs70]

This was making the rounds a few months ago - DJ had to have seen it by now. He's put videos up of his playing. The guy from Mythbusters Tweeted it, but thought it was appropriate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFe8TBhLeQQ&feature=player_embedded

[cyllan]

Much respect Dj!! This is a great way for you too help others and too help yourself heal.
 I was bullied when I was very young and dealt with mental and physical abuse at home for years. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones. The bullying stopped and after years of abuse my Mother worked very hard too be a better person. I am glad too say today that my Mother is my best friend. We spent years trying too heal. One thing I would like too bring up is bullying and abuse usually stem from past pain. Remember the person bullying or abusing is hurting too. We all need help too heal. Again much respect Dj!! Hugs in the biggest way!!!

Sad to hear about your childhood struggles, willow, but very happy that you and your mum have found a way to reconnect. I lost my mum almost 4 years ago and there's not a day goes by when I don't miss being able to pick up the phone and speak to her. 

[willow]

Much respect Dj!! This is a great way for you too help others and too help yourself heal.
 I was bullied when I was very young and dealt with mental and physical abuse at home for years. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones. The bullying stopped and after years of abuse my Mother worked very hard too be a better person. I am glad too say today that my Mother is my best friend. We spent years trying too heal. One thing I would like too bring up is bullying and abuse usually stem from past pain. Remember the person bullying or abusing is hurting too. We all need help too heal. Again much respect Dj!! Hugs in the biggest way!!!

Sad to hear about your childhood struggles, willow, but very happy that you and your mum have found a way to reconnect. I lost my mum almost 4 years ago and there's not a day goes by when I don't miss being able to pick up the phone and speak to her. 

Sorry too hear that. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my Mom in my life. The old saying [whatever doesn't kill us makes a stronger} is so very true. And for good or bad what we go threw in life makes us who we are. Thank you Cyllan.

[slashsbaconpit]

He had such a great charisma on stage when I saw him.  I never would have guessed he'd gone through anything like this. I really like this story. Of course not for the bad things that happened, but for the hope it can give people who may feel hopeless.