Guns N' Roses and Kids

[14 Yrs Of Silence]

So I have a dilemma.  My 3 year old son loves Guns N' Roses.  I showed him the Live In Tokyo DVD which really got his attention, and they played Greatest Hits in the car, and he started asking for it all the time.  Now he sings along to the hits.  Yeah, I know its awesome, but the problem I have now is that he asks to watch the DVD, and today he repeated "Do you know where the fuck you are?"  Well, I kind of think its funny, because he never curses, and is only saying fuck in the context of repeating Axl, but my wife on the other hand says he shouldn't be watching this.  I know 3 is young to be watching videos with curses in it, and I certainly don't want him asking his nursery school teacher "Do you know where the fuck you are?", but how can I take away something he enjoys so much?

[axlrosegnr]

Simple, after the teacher yells at him for saying "Do you know where the fuck you are?" Teach him to say, "You in the Jungle baby!"

[AdZ]

Perhaps instead of taking away something you both enjoy, teach him when it is and isn't appropriate to use certain words?

[Liquor & Whores]

Simple, after the teacher yells at him for saying "Do you know where the fuck you are?" Teach him to say, "You in the Jungle baby!"

but don't teach him to say: "You're gonna dieeeeee ! " 

[Albert S Miller]

 ^axlrosegnr, I must admit that was a witty answer indeed, I laughed, however from a parents standpoint, allowing the 3 year old in my opinion, is not a good idea.  I waited until my girls were in their teen years, when they were old enough to understand the context of the music and its words.  You are the parent and you have to choose what is good and what is not.  If you are giving in because it makes the child happy, I can guarantee you will regret your decision at a later time, and it could lead to some very embarrassing moments.  Just sharing my thoughts of course, and as I mentioned, I have raised two children and so I am speaking from experience.  Good Luck in making the right choice!!

Another thought is that he could enjoy listening to the CD's that have the bad language blocked out, and you would both still be able to enjoy the music with clean lyrics .  Or as Adz mentioned above, if you can teach him to comply, but 3 is kind of young .

[scans n' copies]

I have the same problem with my boys.  My oldest is almost 12 and I just try to monitor what he puts on his ipod.  I know that he hears bad language every day on the playground and all those other cliches, but when the comes to ME allowing him to listen, I really try to keep his ears clean.  That being said, it's awfully hard now days when pop music all over the radio and i-tunes has f-bombs that are barely even blanked out. 

[14 Yrs Of Silence]

Perhaps instead of taking away something you both enjoy, teach him when it is and isn't appropriate to use certain words?

Problem is he's only 3, so its probably never appropriate for him to say fuck, and its going to be difficult for him to comprehend why some words are not ok.  With that said, I agree with msaxl, and I think I'll just have to limit him to listening to the cd going forward. 

[westcoast_junkie]

Show him the 88' MTV concert from Ritz. They have removed the curse words!

[willow]

I don't believe in sheltering children from the world. Yes he is young but he also is injoying it. All you have to do is teach him what is right and wrong for a child. I hate the way  people keep kids in a safe little box these days. All it takes is a little good parenting.

[Annie]

I'm sorry, but this story was just TOO cute! I understand your dilemna, but you have one cool kid there! Eazy E has this song called MERRY Mother F****ing Christmas, and this little boy says HELL yeah in the beginning of the song and it always makes me giggle.

There is so much pain and suffering in the world right now, and if this song gives you both joy, then just enjoy it. Some people may overreact if your son says the F word in nursery school, so try and teach him that you can't use some words around certain people. He will repeat more of what you and your wife say to each other.

One day at work a little boy called me the C word, and I said he could call me a Jerk but not that word and he chilled and we had a great day.

When I quote WTTJ I say do you know where the beep you are. Maybe make a joke out of it and when you sing the song together say, do you know where the BEEP you are!

[Albert S Miller]

I don't believe in sheltering children from the world. Yes he is young but he also is injoying it. All you have to do is teach him what is right and wrong for a child. I hate the way  people keep kids in a safe little box these days. All it takes is a little good parenting.

I agree Willow, with the safe box thing, you have to teach them how to live in this crazy world, and sheltering in my opinion is not the ticket, however, it is not the most attractive when a toddler is using the F bomb, it tends to reflect upon you as a parent, and honestly it is funny the first time, but I wouldn't want there to be a second time. I think we all have our own ideas about parenting, and we tend to reflect upon our own teachings.  With each generation the quality of what I believe to be good parenting seems to be lacking in traditional values.  I find it sad!!

[chineseblues]

Perhaps instead of taking away something you both enjoy, teach him when it is and isn't appropriate to use certain words?

Problem is he's only 3, so its probably never appropriate for him to say fuck

Oh it's totally appropriate for him to say say fuck when his mom gives him something gross to eat for example. How is it not appropriate for him to say "What the fuck Mom, this shit is gross?!" 

[willow]

I don't believe in sheltering children from the world. Yes he is young but he also is injoying it. All you have to do is teach him what is right and wrong for a child. I hate the way  people keep kids in a safe little box these days. All it takes is a little good parenting.

I agree Willow, with the safe box thing, you have to teach them how to live in this crazy world, and sheltering in my opinion is not the ticket, however, it is not the most attractive when a toddler is using the F bomb, it tends to reflect upon you as a parent, and honestly it is funny the first time, but I wouldn't want there to be a second time. I think we all have our own ideas about parenting, and we tend to reflect upon our own teachings.  With each generation the quality of what I believe to be good parenting seems to be lacking in traditional values.  I find it sad!!

It is sad. I see the way so many parents are today and I just shake my head. All a person has to do is talk to a child, spend time with them and teach them right from wrong. I see 18 year olds going out into the world and they don't have a clue cause thier parents didn't teach them anything. And It makes me sick the way parents think teacher are suppose to teach them everything. Its not a teachers job to teach a child about life. Thats for parents. Frankly I don't want a teacher doing that for my child. Thats my job. lol

[Dead N' Bloated]

My Baby is due in November and I have been ordering all the GN'R and Metallica onsies and bibs and whatever else I can get my hands on.

I am about to download the Lulaby renditions of GN'R so the kid will have at least a few years of decent taste in music.

[GypsySoul]

oh for fuck sake ...

1.  HE'S 3!!!

2.  Your wife, his mother, said he shouldn't be watching this!!!

Respect your wife's wishes on this one and just replace it with the Wiggles or Yo Gabba Gabba or some sing-songy shit like that.

[westcoast_junkie]

You make it all sound so simple willow, can you teach me how to be the perfect parent?   

I totally agree with you on the teacher-thing man. Parents should be the main influence on the pedagogics (not saying a kid should have the same opinions about everything as mom and dad though), and I believe the kids teaching the curse-alphabet don't should be coming from the parents (That often come from the school) !

But then again, bad language don't mean the same as bad values, and values are way more important than language.

[pilferk]

It is sad. I see the way so many parents are today and I just shake my head. All a person has to do is talk to a child, spend time with them and teach them right from wrong. I see 18 year olds going out into the world and they don't have a clue cause thier parents didn't teach them anything. And It makes me sick the way parents think teacher are suppose to teach them everything. Its not a teachers job to teach a child about life. Thats for parents. Frankly I don't want a teacher doing that for my child. Thats my job. lol

I agree, to some extent.

I've got 3 kids.  They've all been exposed to GnR, selectively.  And I think anyone would be hard pressed to make a case that we shelter our kids from ANY part of the world.  When they have questions, we answer them.  And we expose them to TONS of stuff....art, food, politics, religion, travel, music...we're a pretty eclectic and "free thinking" family.

But at 3? They simply don't possess the higher cognitive functions for you, as a parent, to treat them the way you imply, above. At 5 or 6? Sure.  But at 3, they don't get shades of gray or situational appropriateness.  In fact, the way their brains are wired they CAN'T understand that kinda stuff.  They understand concrete constructs like "yes" and "no", "wrong" and "right".  They're not capable of abstract judgement, so you have to stick with what they know.

Nobody can tell you how to parent your kid...because nobody knows your kid like you do.  But here is what I would do and why:  Tell the kid the language is bad and if he says those words again, you'll have to take GnR away from him.  And if he does...do it.  Yes, it's tough.  Yes, there will probably be tears.  But that's why we're the parents and they're the kids.  WE (the parents) have to determine, at that age, what's best for them.  I know, it sounds totalitarian and all....but it's not.  Kids, at that age, are just learning impulse control (heck, many aren't even potty trained yet). The parent has to do that stuff for them.  I'm not one for coddling my kids, but, by the same token, at some point you have to be the parent, and not "the good guy".  It sucks...it REALLY sucks...sometimes, but there it is.

Once they're older, and they get some of the higher cognitive abilities....then we're much more willing to allow independance and let them explore their boundaries.  When they understand things like good and bad choice, long term consequences, etc.....we're willing to take the "you have to live with the outcomes" tact.   That started around 4 or 5 with our kids.....with our son around 6.

[14 Yrs Of Silence]

Appreciate the feedback, and pilferk, I agree with you about taking the music away if he uses the F word again, but to repeat what you said, it would be difficult for him to understand why that one specific word is not ok, and would almost end up calling more attention to it than necessary.  I'd like to see if I can get my hands on the edited version of the Ritz 88 concert.  I have the unedited version now.

On the broader parenting discussion, I also don't agree with sheltering your kids, but it needs to be age appropriate.  My boys are 3 and 10 months, so I have awhile for they really start getting exposed to more sexual and violent things, but when the begin to understand those things, and when I can expect their friends to start talking about them, I will try to be there first for them to provide an appropriate context.  Its a fine line trying to balance being a typical parent and being there friend to to extent that you want them to trust you and tell you everything thats going on.  No easy answers, but it starts with spending quality time with them, which is not something all parents do.

[willow]

You make it all sound so simple willow, can you teach me how to be the perfect parent?   

I totally agree with you on the teacher-thing man. Parents should be the main influence on the pedagogics (not saying a kid should have the same opinions about everything as mom and dad though), and I believe the kids teaching the curse-alphabet don't should be coming from the parents (That often come from the school) !

But then again, bad language don't mean the same as bad values, and values are way more important than language.

lol No its not simple. Being a parent is the hardest thing anyone will ever do. I talk that way and think that way because I was brought up by semi hippy parents. I wasn't sheltered at all. I grew up to be a respectful, good person. All the strangeness and odd things I saw and heard as  child made me who I am. I didn't turn into a teen Mom or a serial killer. lol Hell I haven't even ever had a parking ticket. So they did something right. lol

[fear the juggalo 2]

just play chinese democracy, i think there is just 3 "bad words" on the whole thing. my three year old axl listens to everything i do, but he also knows that those are bad words. pretty simple.