We had a pre-xmas party, it's a custom here, I don't know if it is anywhere else. If not, you miss a lot, usually it's fun.
He was a good guy, well liked, of guys I'm not close friends with, he was a 10/10. We've talked at work, having a smoke, and I was looking forward to invite him over and have a few cold ones.
Right now, I can't sleep. It's been 43 hours.
I talked to him the night he died, he was at the same party, I visited the place tongiht and all I could see were the places we met and changed a few words. I guess I like torturing myself, since I went there.
I just can't put this to words.
For some reason he went to the shore and fell through the ice, the first time he got out, but fell again and I'm wondering, why was he there, he lives many blocks away.
So, he drowned, some guard from the jail closeby heard his screams for help and called for rescue, but it was too late.
He was 29-years old and had just got his life where I'd guess he wanted, he lost a job and got a new one where I work at, everything was turning out good.
Yesterday I had a karaoke gig and I told the people there that this is for a guy I knew, I'd sang to song just once before and it was the last song of the night. I sang for him feel, the one from Robbie Williams. I hope the gesture means something.
The gig was the hardest of my life, hearing from this an hour before but I held it together, even if I wanted to be with my friends. (can't say right now if I'm ok, I can't tell what I feel)
The last part of the lyrics, shit, just imagine what I felt
Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living,
Not sure I understand,
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
I finished it with my eyes going blurry.
Not sure I undestand, when wrong guys are dying.
The crowd gave a big applaud, even if I thought it was a shitty perfomance and few wanted to shake my hand. Not that I cared in the memory line I was visiting.
I just thought I'd share.
And still, I can't sleep, it's been 44 hours now.