Weak and Depresion

[D]

U are young dude, u have a shit ton of hormones going through u, tons of changes u weren't ready for and the best thing u can do is change what u can, accept the rest, be proud of who u are and don't let anybody treat u like shit or make u feel u are a low life form. Know in life there will be highs, then lows, most of the time u will be just ok and the trick to life is not getting too down and being able to bounce back. It is all a part of the game of life and it sucks.

Find a hobby that makes u feel good about yourself whether it is music,poetry,running,video games, whatever.

Get  a pet or something. A great dog can help u through bad times more than u would think possible.

[CheapJon]

also, if you started working out a little, that'll bump your self confidence more then when you're bumping this thread

[jacdaniel]

get professional help, nobody on this board can help you. 

Ive spoke to a lot of nice people on this board but i don't fool myself.  They're not my friends and probably wouldnt realise or care if i died.

Get help and go out and try to make friends. 

[Jdog0830]

Life was the simplest when I was 16, however it is a long road ahead and it gets bumpy sometimes, it's so normal, it's just life, jdog, just roll with it, follow your heart and pursue your dreams and everything will fall into place, but you must not ever give up.

Yeah got to keep going no matter what

also, if you started working out a little, that'll bump your self confidence more then when you're bumping this thread

Yeah I am in soccer and I have been lifting every since the last half of freshman year its helped a lot but still a lot of assholes that are bigger than me

U are young dude, u have a shit ton of hormones going through u, tons of changes u weren't ready for and the best thing u can do is change what u can, accept the rest, be proud of who u are and don't let anybody treat u like shit or make u feel u are a low life form. Know in life there will be highs, then lows, most of the time u will be just ok and the trick to life is not getting too down and being able to bounce back. It is all a part of the game of life and it sucks.

Find a hobby that makes u feel good about yourself whether it is music,poetry,running,video games, whatever.

Get  a pet or something. A great dog can help u through bad times more than u would think possible.

Funny you should say that I actual just started writing a new song today during school and I got 2 dogs one we had and the other we inherited from my deceased grandparents 4 years back RIP

get professional help, nobody on this board can help you. 

Ive spoke to a lot of nice people on this board but i don't fool myself.  They're not my friends and probably wouldnt realise or care if i died.

Get help and go out and try to make friends. 

That is true I don't think there has ever been a thread about one of our members dieing but that's not a surprise to me and I think the best thing I can do now is try to focous on music so I am kinda thinking about quitting soccer at least at the end of this season

[Sin Cut]

I'm going to hijack this thread since my (ex)significant other is going on how she'll end her life.

Last tuesday I come home from work and she's left firefox on with a search for apparments on, sure, I felt deceived, that we've been living a lie. Don't get me wrong, things were bad with her suicidal tendencies, depression, eating dissorders, drinking and absence from home. So I kind of saw this coming, but I didn't confront her, kinda waiting when was she gonna say something.

Then I got the swineflu or whatever and had a high fever and kinda half-expected her to help out, walk the dogs maybe and get me some soda from the store. Just guess if it wasn't me walking the dogs in high fever, wondering do I make it back home.

This was when I started feeling it just might be better if she moves away.

So I home, sick and alone from tuesday to friday and she was home, maybe an hour a day tops, somedays she didn't even visit and was at her parrents.

She comes home hangover on sunday and we talk. She's moving out and every problem between us is my fault. Then it's her depression fault and her drinking is my fault. You get the picture.

Then she's telling me she'll kill herself and I say she needs help, but she refuses to go. I'll keep trying tho, I'd hate to read her name from the just deceased.

[LunsJail]

^^^^Might be good to just let her go. It certainly sounds like you've put in your time.

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

You should just go back to your old ways.

No girlfriend, no problem.

And if you believe you have done nothing wrong, even if she ends her life, you should not feel guilty.

[GypsySoul]

Then she's telling me she'll kill herself and I say she needs help, but she refuses to go. I'll keep trying tho, I'd hate to read her name from the just deceased.

Been there!!!

Even if she refuses to go, YOU should go talk to a psychiatrist  or someone who has professional experience dealing with suicidal people (or even your priest or rabbi).

They can advise you on how to deal with her and her issues so that you do not become her "enabler" and also so that she does not turn you into an emotional cripple.  And if, God forbid, something bad happens, you will already have your support system in place.

She is not only abusing herself ... SHE IS ABUSING YOU TOO!!!

KNOW THAT NOTHING SHE DOES OR WILL DO IS YOUR FAULT!!!



P.S.  The only NON-professional advice I will give you from my own experience is that getting sooooooo frustrated that you open the oven door and blow out the pilot-light and say to that person "Go Ahead!!!" is a really really BAD idea!!!  It really pisses them off!!! 

[Sin Cut]

GypsySoul yeah, I've had the feeling she's saying these things to control me, since most of the times (three or four) happened only if I was out with some friends. She's ealous and therefore don't like that, so let's pull the I'll commit suicide card. Then again I did find her once, that time there weren't any threats like this.

And she's not refusing to leave me, but to go to mental care where she'd get the help she needs.

Obsolete, I know am not to blame, but surely there's things I could've done differently, but I can't be a boyfriend and a shrink concurrently. Maybe if there wasn't that big a waiting queue for a shrink I could've got some help how to deal with this, but it doesn't really matter now.

What goes to my old ways, yeah, propably.

[GypsySoul]

And she's not refusing to leave me, but to go to mental care where she'd get the help she needs.

Maybe if there wasn't that big a waiting queue for a shrink I could've got some help how to deal with this, but it doesn't really matter now.

What doesn't really matter now? 

Maybe her taking steps to move out and staying around her parents or whatever is her way of trying to find somewhere/someone who can help her find her way.

You're making yourself out to be a victim here because someone with serious mental issues may not recognize she needs to get help but you can't be bothered to find someone to help you to deal with her problems because the line is too long??

Her mental problems are NOT your fault in any way, shape or form but you do need to think about what's the best scenario for her to get the help she needs.

Maybe talking to her parents can help you to have a better understanding of what might be best for her to have a chance at getting help?

I hear the line over there isn't nearly as long. 

[Sin Cut]

Maybe I was being unclear, she's all ready seeing a therapist, who wants her to stay a few weeks in mental care just in case, she doesn't.

I don't know where you heard that the line here isn't that long, sure there's no wait to see a doctor, but mental services are a different case.

What I meant with the long queue and how it doesn't matter now, was that if I'd got an appointment soon after her suicide attempt maybe things would've worked out for us, now she's moving out. And the appointment I booked few days after I found her and had the ambluance take her to the hospital isn't still in two weeks. And that's the fastest they could do, I can't even start to guess how long it would've taken if I wouldn't have used occupational healthcare.

And I did talk to her parents and I even called and sat down with her brother earlier.

[Jdog0830]

I'm going to hijack this thread since my (ex)significant other is going on how she'll end her life.

Last tuesday I come home from work and she's left firefox on with a search for apparments on, sure, I felt deceived, that we've been living a lie. Don't get me wrong, things were bad with her suicidal tendencies, depression, eating dissorders, drinking and absence from home. So I kind of saw this coming, but I didn't confront her, kinda waiting when was she gonna say something.

Then I got the swineflu or whatever and had a high fever and kinda half-expected her to help out, walk the dogs maybe and get me some soda from the store. Just guess if it wasn't me walking the dogs in high fever, wondering do I make it back home.

This was when I started feeling it just might be better if she moves away.

So I home, sick and alone from tuesday to friday and she was home, maybe an hour a day tops, somedays she didn't even visit and was at her parrents.

She comes home hangover on sunday and we talk. She's moving out and every problem between us is my fault. Then it's her depression fault and her drinking is my fault. You get the picture.

Then she's telling me she'll kill herself and I say she needs help, but she refuses to go. I'll keep trying tho, I'd hate to read her name from the just deceased.

Well thats a hard one well if it were me I would tell her if you didn't get help we are breaking up or something like that

[D]

sin Cut brother, I learned the hard way many years ago that u can't save somebody. It is hard when u love somebody and u see them going down a destructive path. U want to help them and save them and make them happy but it just isn't possible.

I know u love her and all that, but U can't live the rest of your life in misery and u deserve someone that will be there for u and do for u and to make u happy.

[Jdog0830]

I am just saying that not everything is going to be good in a relationship theirs going to be hard times as for the thing about people changing my example of it is what happened with Steven Adler his wife didnt give up on him and was their for him through the good and the bad thats all I am saying

[GypsySoul]

Maybe I was being unclear, she's all ready seeing a therapist, who wants her to stay a few weeks in mental care just in case, she doesn't.

I don't know where you heard that the line here isn't that long, sure there's no wait to see a doctor, but mental services are a different case.

oh okay ... Sorry, I misunderstood.

I guess we might have more options here where you can basically walk in off the street or call a hot-line number to be able to talk to someone.  (it's a real shame that more people don't take advantage of the help that is out there.  some of our faith-based centers do amazing work.)


Just the thought of being placed "in" care is a very scary thing and most of us only go by court order and in a straight jacket, fighting it with every ounce of strength we can muster.  So that's something the therapist or whomever is really gonna have to ease her into accepting.


I'm happy to hear she is seeing a therapist and also that she (and you) is still connected to her family.  Like I said before, maybe all this moving out and stuff is just her trying to find her way.  Sometimes it's the last person you'd expect who will be the one that will help her to turn that elusive corner in her life.  (we all want to be "that" person for someone we love but it doesn't always work that way.  what is most important is that she does find whoever "that" person [or thing] is.)


I hope you keep that appointment in two weeks.  You'd be surprised how talking to those people really does help you to come to terms with things.  Of course, nothing happens "instantly" and there's no "miracle cure" but it really can help you which can only help her.


Youze are both in my thoughts and prayers.