Duff McKagan's Column In Seattle Weekly

[FunkyMonkey]

Duff McKagan, formerly of Guns N' Roses, plays bass in Velvet Revolver. His column appears every Thursday on Reverb.

Duff McKagan: Faith in Rock

Posted Aug. 20 at 11:20 pm by Duff McKagan

A few months back, Velvet Revolver had an opportunity to play a rock show in Dubai as a predecessor to a European tour. Before the gig was booked, I heard all the usual warning hoo-hah that we in the U.S. hear about an ?Arab? or ?Muslim? country?most notably that Americans are reviled and I should ?watch my ass and say that I am Swedish, if asked.? Well, this was my first foray into an Arab or Muslim country post-9/11. Maybe things had changed since I?d toured there in the early ?90?s.

The thing that really got my attention first, however, was an e-mail I received from our tour manager before we left: NO MARIJUANA, NO COCAINE, NO PRESCRIPTION CODEINE, NO PRESCRIPTION VALIUM OR XANAX: ONE YEAR IN JAIL THEN DEPORTATION. Wow, OK. I?ve been clean and sober for a long time but my mind still thinks of an out, like ?How ?bout deporting me first?!? Of course, the next line in the e-mail reminded me of a much larger problem: NO ISRAELI PASSPORTS OR ISRAELI STAMPS IN YOUR PASSPORT: INSTANT DEPORTATION. Really? Is that shit for real?? C?mon people now, smile on your brother?oh yeah, fuck that, it?s a new millennium (read Thomas Friedman?s Longitudes and Attitudes to really bum yourself out on this particular subject).

I have always tried to let my faith in humankind guide me when it comes time for decisions and options in life. Sure, I?ve been screwed a few times because of it, but more often than not this guidance system has strengthened my belief that mostly everyone is born with a ton of good in them, and that it?s not until much later that things like greed and power dilute members of our species into an almost unrecognizable mask of darkness and rage. I am not going to say ?no? to playing Dubai or anywhere else because of political or religious beliefs, etc. I believe I can actually do more good by seeing what?s indeed happening than by just sitting back here in the good old U.S.A., safe, protected, and spoon-fed hogwash on the nightly news. Fuck that! I?m going?

Continue reading "Duff McKagan: Faith in Rock": http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/08/faith_in_rock.php#more

[FunkyMonkey]

What's Up With U.S.? I Need YOU!

Posted yesterday at 8:53 pm by Duff McKagan

In September of ?04, I had just finished up a stint as a student at the most excellent Seattle University and found myself headed to Europe to do a two-week press tour for the first Velvet Revolver record. On a press tour, you usually have a pretty tight schedule of print, radio, and TV interviews about?as was my case?your latest musical project. What was almost universally different this time, however, was the fact that I was being asked one extra question at every interview: ?Do you think Kerry will beat Bush in the upcoming election??

There seemed to be an almost all-enveloping fear in Europe that September that Bush would indeed get another four years. The thought was that perhaps Kerry may have the peaceful solution and that the Iraq occupation, er. . . War would see some near-future end with him in office. Our bellicose administration seemed to be taking its collective toll on the well-being of the everyday European, and I was now being put in the hot seat.

It seemed that I had somehow gained a new reputation in my ?rock world? as someone who could perhaps speak for many. I am not sure why this came to be. Maybe it was because I could now put together a couple of complete sentences without slobbering on myself (I put away my gallon-of-vodka-per-day habit back in ?94). Whatever the case, I had, like every American, thought a lot about this topic as November 4 fast approached. I had a great answer for these people, so I spewed forth my rhetoric for the following two weeks, which went something like this: ?I have just finished going to school with some of the smartest kids in America. No way do I think that these intelligent youth are going to idly sit back and allow Bush to succeed. These kids are ACTIVE in seeing a new leader step up and get things straightened out. Damn straight?Bush is going down, HE?S GOIN? DOWN!? Well, shit, didn?t I look like a damn fool a few short weeks hence?

I?ve realized since then that the kids I went to school with at Seattle University were indeed very smart, but they didn?t represent America, they represented Seattle! A big difference.

OK, flash forward to now. I will again be going to Europe this September, and I was curious if you, the Seattle Weekly reader, had a question for me to ask not only writers over there, but also the common workaday Europeans walking down the street? What are their hopes for a U.S. presidential candidate? Are we beyond repair? etc. I would like a consensus question from you readers that I can ask them this time. While there, I will report on this blog and let you all know how it is going. This could be a really cool way of creating an informative dialogue, if nothing else. And I promise to (try) not to color the response too much with my own personal and political viewpoints and jadedness.

Continue reading at: http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/08/whats_up_with_us_i.php

[Smoking Guns]

wow, great reads funkey monkey.

[Genesis]

Thanks.

[FunkyMonkey]

Don't Call Me a Rock Star

Posted yesterday at 11:20 pm by Duff McKagan

I read John Roderick?s article ?Sex, Rock, and Reality? a couple weeks ago regarding the rock myths and lore that he so astutely dispelled. I?d like to take this opportunity to go one step further and discourse on my utter contempt for the much over-used term ?rock star?. You may be now saying to yourself ?yeah right, the dude from Guns N? Roses has a beef with a term that probably spells him out to a T?? Let me tell you something, I cringe at this term whenever it is directed anywhere near me and here is why?

I was fortunate enough in my teens to see the Clash on their first U.S. theater tour. This was before the major recognition they received on the London Calling record, but they were still larger than life to me and truly exotic. If the term ?rock star? could have been used at any time in my youth-driven lingo, it would have been then and it would have described the true awe that I felt of being in the same room as these erstwhile trend setters.

About 200 people showed up at the Paramount in Seattle to see this gig and it was, simply put, mind-blowing. During the show, a big yellow-shirted security guy up front punched a fan and broke his nose. Blood was everywhere. The Clash stopped the show. Bassist Paul Simonen appeared from the wings of stage right wielding a firefighter?s axe that he must have plucked from the wall. He jumped down in the pit and proceeded to chop down the wooden barrier separating the fans from the band while guitarist Joe Strummer dressed down the security gorilla and went on further to say that there was no difference between the fans and the bands?"we are all in this together! There is no such thing as a Rock Star, just musicians and listeners!" That moment remains static in my mind to this day.

Now, when I was even younger, growing up here in Seattle, I was deeply enchanted and mesmerized by the likes of Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin. I do ?get? why the term is used and was myself easily smitten by ?rock stars?- but I was under the age of 12 when these people appeared as gods in my classroom daydreams.

Let us look at the term ?rock star? in our current-day common vernacular. I think it was definitely used as noun up until sometime in the mid-90?s. Then, for some inexplicable reason, ?rock star? became a much over-used adjective. ?Hey, he sure does have on some rock-star clothing?. Or, when it is used as a noun, it has become bland and quite ?vanilla? as in ?party like a rock star? (I once asked a mountain biker friend what he actually meant when he said that he had ?partied like a rock star? the night before, ?well, I drank like a six-pack of beer!?). Or, in a popular pop song a couple of years ago ?hey now, you?re a rock star, get your game on??----please!

I also have a strong dislike for the term because I do actually know some people in ?the biz? that I have even worked with (no hints) who do refer to THEMSELVES as rock stars. It is my experience that a low self-esteem and need for skin-deep recognition perhaps spur these unfortunate few forward into actually thinking that they are indeed "rock n? roll stars". It is my further experience that these people think that they indeed are BETTER than you and me and their fans, not unlike the popular cliques that we all had to deal with in junior high-school. I, for one, find that kind of behavior pretty damn shallow and frankly embarrassing to be around. Furthermore, I have had the distinct honor of meeting some of my boyhood idol?s over the last 15 or so years and have been pleasantly surprised at the regularness of these older rock musicians. I guess the assholes get weeded out and longevity only happens to those musicians who see themselves as ones who simply serve the music?.I like that a LOT.

Read the rest at: http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/09/rock_star.php#more

[Genesis]

NO ISRAELI PASSPORTS OR ISRAELI STAMPS IN YOUR PASSPORT: INSTANT DEPORTATION.

For those who want to know, the Israelis are not stupid. When you land in Israel, they affix a detachable slip to your passport and stamp the slip. When you leave, they remove the slip and Voila! No Isreali stamps in your passport.

[JAC185]

Pretty funny that on that VH1 thing Sorum wanted Weiland because he was a 'rockstar'. I'm sure Duff's cringed a few times in similar circumstances aswell.

[FunkyMonkey]

Alice In Chains: I Back These Guys

Posted yesterday at 9:30 pm by Duff McKagan

A couple years ago I received a call from Jerry Cantrell to see if I would be interested in playing rhythm guitar for the revamping Alice in Chains. I had become very good friends with all the guys in the band since they came to Hollywood in 1989 for their first gig in L.A. I knew first-hand of the utter heartbreak these men had gone through (and continue to feel) at the tragic loss of their singer and brother, Layne Staley. If I can do anything, I thought to myself, I can at least show my support for these guys who had become close friends not only to me but to my family. I jumped at the chance to play with them.

I don?t believe these guys ever thought of actually replacing Layne. How could they, really? Their thought process ran more to adding a member who could play second-guitar parts and/or sing some songs, either in tandem with Jerry or on his own. They found the guy in William Duvall. William struck me as a guy who was trying to be no one other than himself, and he oozed an air of ?cool? that, frankly, one either has or doesn?t have. The band was in a stage of self-doubt regarding the perception that their longtime fans would have of them going forward after the passing of Layne. For me, the choice was clear: These guys had to move on and they had way too much to offer the rock-and-roll world. Yes, in this day and age of paint-by-numbers formula corporate rock?we fuckin? NEED Alice in Chains!

My opinion may not be a popular one, especially here in Seattle. There seems to be an attitude of ?Who the hell do you guys think you are? You can?t go on without Layne!? While his death was heartbreakingly sad and needless, does this mean we all must shut the door on this band that changed the landscape of modern rock? Does this mean we all must suffer the elephant-sized monkey that rode Layne straight to his tragic end? Shit, did anybody think that Layne himself could very well have wanted his brothers to carry on? I for one believe that he in fact did. Alas, in the end, this is a can of worms that I should shut at this point because speculation on what he may or may not have wanted to happen after his death is pointless.

So now back to me playing guitar with these guys. I dove headfirst into a crash course of the whole AIC catalogue. My critical peek inside these songs, riff by riff, opened my eyes to what truly amazing song craftsmanship went into all of them. I began to feel truly honored to be included and connected in any way to this lush musical history. Playing the songs live with them are some of the most treasured moments that I have experienced as an artist, PERIOD!

In the summer and fall of 2007, my band Velvet Revolver did a co/headlining tour with AIC. At the risk of sounding too dramatic, seeing the crowd?s reaction to these guys night after night was analogous to seeing a loving mother?s face welcoming home her beloved son from war. As the band?s confidence grew with William as a new member and Mike Inez laying down his all-too-familiar low-end growl, you could almost see new life being breathed into the music. Jerry, as a guitar player, was finally being recognized for the true maverick he is. Sean Kinney?s unique, inventive, and powerful drum stylings set him apart from the pack, and this tour settled any questions of why and how. It was a truly moving sight to see, gig after gig.

I am indeed a fan of all sorts and genres of music and I find myself on a high when I see an inspirational live show. This feeling can sometimes carry through for a week or more. In saying that?and maybe it is just me?finding an awe-inspiring rock show these days gets harder and harder. Somewhere in the mid- to late ?90s, there was seemingly a sea change in the music industry that started to create an assembly line for bland commercial musical fodder. How did this happen? What happened that made honest rock ?n? roll go back underground? Things just got straight-up gimmicky and processed. When Alice started the process of putting the pieces back together in 2005, it gave me hope. Hope because a whole generation of young rockers would be able to watch and learn and see how this shit is done!

I have had the good fortune to hear a lot of the new music that the guys have put together for their upcoming recording: fucking AWESOME! I believe we need a band like Alice in Chains now more than ever. A band who always has worn their heart on their collective sleeve. A band who couldn?t give two shits about what is ?hip? or current. These guys have always set trends. With what I have heard of the new music, they will continue to do so.

Layne, may you rest in peace. Alice in Chains, will you please, again, show us the
way?

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/09/alice_in_chains_i_back_these_g.php#more

[Smoking Guns]

Alice In Chains: I Back These Guys

Posted yesterday at 9:30 pm by Duff McKagan

A couple years ago I received a call from Jerry Cantrell to see if I would be interested in playing rhythm guitar for the revamping Alice in Chains. I had become very good friends with all the guys in the band since they came to Hollywood in 1989 for their first gig in L.A. I knew first-hand of the utter heartbreak these men had gone through (and continue to feel) at the tragic loss of their singer and brother, Layne Staley. If I can do anything, I thought to myself, I can at least show my support for these guys who had become close friends not only to me but to my family. I jumped at the chance to play with them.

I don?t believe these guys ever thought of actually replacing Layne. How could they, really? Their thought process ran more to adding a member who could play second-guitar parts and/or sing some songs, either in tandem with Jerry or on his own. They found the guy in William Duvall. William struck me as a guy who was trying to be no one other than himself, and he oozed an air of ?cool? that, frankly, one either has or doesn?t have. The band was in a stage of self-doubt regarding the perception that their longtime fans would have of them going forward after the passing of Layne. For me, the choice was clear: These guys had to move on and they had way too much to offer the rock-and-roll world. Yes, in this day and age of paint-by-numbers formula corporate rock?we fuckin? NEED Alice in Chains!

My opinion may not be a popular one, especially here in Seattle. There seems to be an attitude of ?Who the hell do you guys think you are? You can?t go on without Layne!? While his death was heartbreakingly sad and needless, does this mean we all must shut the door on this band that changed the landscape of modern rock? Does this mean we all must suffer the elephant-sized monkey that rode Layne straight to his tragic end? Shit, did anybody think that Layne himself could very well have wanted his brothers to carry on? I for one believe that he in fact did. Alas, in the end, this is a can of worms that I should shut at this point because speculation on what he may or may not have wanted to happen after his death is pointless.

So now back to me playing guitar with these guys. I dove headfirst into a crash course of the whole AIC catalogue. My critical peek inside these songs, riff by riff, opened my eyes to what truly amazing song craftsmanship went into all of them. I began to feel truly honored to be included and connected in any way to this lush musical history. Playing the songs live with them are some of the most treasured moments that I have experienced as an artist, PERIOD!

In the summer and fall of 2007, my band Velvet Revolver did a co/headlining tour with AIC. At the risk of sounding too dramatic, seeing the crowd?s reaction to these guys night after night was analogous to seeing a loving mother?s face welcoming home her beloved son from war. As the band?s confidence grew with William as a new member and Mike Inez laying down his all-too-familiar low-end growl, you could almost see new life being breathed into the music. Jerry, as a guitar player, was finally being recognized for the true maverick he is. Sean Kinney?s unique, inventive, and powerful drum stylings set him apart from the pack, and this tour settled any questions of why and how. It was a truly moving sight to see, gig after gig.

I am indeed a fan of all sorts and genres of music and I find myself on a high when I see an inspirational live show. This feeling can sometimes carry through for a week or more. In saying that?and maybe it is just me?finding an awe-inspiring rock show these days gets harder and harder. Somewhere in the mid- to late ?90s, there was seemingly a sea change in the music industry that started to create an assembly line for bland commercial musical fodder. How did this happen? What happened that made honest rock ?n? roll go back underground? Things just got straight-up gimmicky and processed. When Alice started the process of putting the pieces back together in 2005, it gave me hope. Hope because a whole generation of young rockers would be able to watch and learn and see how this shit is done!

I have had the good fortune to hear a lot of the new music that the guys have put together for their upcoming recording: fucking AWESOME! I believe we need a band like Alice in Chains now more than ever. A band who always has worn their heart on their collective sleeve. A band who couldn?t give two shits about what is ?hip? or current. These guys have always set trends. With what I have heard of the new music, they will continue to do so.

Layne, may you rest in peace. Alice in Chains, will you please, again, show us the
way?

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/09/alice_in_chains_i_back_these_g.php#more

wow, Duff is becoming quite the writer!  Nice work Duff.

[Jim Bob]

Absoultely agree with Duff.  AIC rocks and I'm glad they are continuing the band.

[FunkyMonkey]

FLYING ON 9/11 FLYING ON 9/11

Posted today at 1:05 am by Duff McKagan

Flying is something that I do on a pretty regular basis. I?ve seen the heightened airport security following Sept. 11, 2001 slowly wane to a point of a near casual ease that, while still rigorous, pales in comparison to the 2 or 3 years after the brutal attacks of that black day. But today, I am flying. Today is Sept.11, 2008.

I always kiss my wife and daughters before I leave on any trip away from them. Last night I took my little girls to dinner and a movie, made special as it was a school night. This morning, I woke up and made them breakfast, then walked them to school. I held on to our parting embrace perhaps a bit longer than was comfortable to them in front of all of their cool friends, I didn?t care. I hugged and kissed them like I did on day the planes were hijacked and met their horrific end. The world?s axis for all humankind seemed to have been put on a tilt that day. My family was young when the Twin Towers went down and my fear for their future at that time was beyond acute.

I don?t write this particular column for the sake of my fear, of my plane to Europe going down. This is not a political piece either. I want to speak on what I have witnessed today at the airport, and how my memory was refreshed by this morning?s CNN constant report of near doom that I watched before I left to the airport. I want to remember how that one event changed ALL of our lives forever. Have we made any REAL progress since then? I don?t know. It probably won?t show for years to come.

Airport security today at LAX was fierce. Back were the checkpoint security stations at the entrance to the airport. Security dogs doing their collective best to sniff out bomb material as cops stopped all cars. I don?t mind and I certainly understand. After ticketing at the airline counter, it was on to the scanner security station where the lines were absolutely gynormous. I don?t mind, I get it. I did get a little freaked out however, when two obvious meth-head tweakers couldn?t find their tickets or ID?s. They were furiously looking through clear plastic garbage bags that served as their luggage. Tweakers freak me out and these two had truthfully unnerved me on this day. God, I hope they aren?t on my plane. The number of TSA and LAPD was easily tripled but I sailed through ( I?m not sure how my speed-freak friends did). There seemed to be a palpable calm, not only at the security lines, but also throughout the whole airport. There seemed to be an air of understanding between everyone who were walking to his or her flight gates. There was not the usual scurrying and strangers seemed to be making eye-contact with each other, as if to say ?hey, you all good??. Maybe this was all in my imagination but honestly I don?t think that it was.

I boarded my flight and my first leg took me to London. As I settled down into my seat, a family came on last minute looking for their rows. A teenage boy found his place and it was right next to me.
? I am scared to be flying on 9/11!? he said to me.
?Where are you headed?? I asked
?Back home to Saudi Arabia?
His name was Saud and he is a Muslim lad, going back home after visiting L.A., where his sister attends the Fashion Institute. His family wore traditional clothing from their part of the world and you could definitely tell that people on the flight were eyeing them intently throughout the flight. This is a phenomenon that I believe Saud sort of took in stride. He?s a normal kid. He likes video games, disco, and soccer. He seemed to respect me as an elder. You don?t get that everyday. He showed me a program on his computer that can make your head fat or skinny on its? self-contained camera. A nice little dude.

Talking to Saud made me realize that we ALL now are on constant alert. Gone perhaps are the days where there seemed to be just a general curiosity about other cultures. We are paranoid now. What do they think of us in Indonesia where there is a large militant Muslim faction. Who are those Muslim guerillas who kidnapped the westerners in the Phillipines back in 2003? Is there some geographic line we as Americans cannot cross because of fear for our safety? Was it there, pre 9/11?

I remember thinking of all of the Muslims that must live in the U.S. back then.
I remember wondering how many might be Taliban operatives. I don?t think that I was alone. Paranoia ran rampage in the first few months on American soil. Could you blame anyone? No. This was my generation?s Pearl Harbor. We were suddenly attacked by some exotic enemy from the extreme peripheral. Some Americans boycotted or vandalized Muslim owned and operated businesses. Others defaced Mosques or worse. Me? I fell into a depression like I had never experienced before, actual clinical depression. Like many of us, I sat and watched CNN for something like 2 straight weeks. When George W. came on network television and vowed revenge, I whole-heartedly backed it. Let?s fuck someone up! Let?s goddamn Roll! There seemed to be no other answer or solution. I wonder now what we from the West could?ve done differently to mend the chasm of misunderstanding that still remains between ?Us? and ?Them?? As it turns out, Sadaam was probably just another in a long line of tyrannical despots?but we already new that.
Of course I landed at Heathrow airport in London without incident. I found out that perhaps we all have some form of trepidation about this momentous date. I met a new friend in Saud from Saudi Arabia, who shared with me some cool things about his life and upbringing. I probably embarrassed my 8 and 11 year-old girls in front of their friends at school earlier this morning, but I don?t care. I will always remember this date for how it changed my life and strengthened my love for my family. This date will also remind me of how horrible we as human beings can be and what we are capable of at our worst.

[dont_damn_me]

These columns are really cool, keep them coming Duff!! He should write his bio. , that'd be great!!

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

Like many of us, I sat and watched CNN for something like 2 straight weeks. When George W. came on network television and vowed revenge, I whole-heartedly backed it. Let?s fuck someone up! Let?s goddamn Roll!

I just pictured Duff going "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a la Attitude or any other Duff McKagan song.

[FunkyMonkey]

Duff McKagan: An Enlightening Trip (Abroad)

Posted today at 3:22 am by Duff McKagan

I want to first state that this piece, while political in nature, is not meant to sway votes. I have an opinion on the Presidential candidates. My views will color my writing at times.

A few weeks back, I posed a question to you, the Weekly reader. I asked for you all to form a somewhat concise idea that I could in turn ask in question form of the average European, to find out what they thought of our upcoming election and even where they thought America itself may be headed in the near future. The response from you all was really quite fantastic. Well, as it turns out, on my current trip here, I am being stopped short before I can even get a question out. Opinions here are rampant and overwhelmingly similar. Our conversations go something like this. . .


My first stop was Italy, and my first real dialogue was with a person from the local press in Milan. I asked him if he knew of the recent developments in the U.S. presidential race.

?Oh, yes,? he replied, ? this Palin woman scares the hell out of me and she must be stopped. It seems that she is for real, right?? I asked what he meant by that.

?Well, she likes to shoot guns and doesn?t believe in sex education?? I said that in fact these were the exact things I had heard in a very simplified way, but yes, these things did actually appeal to a large part of the voting constituency back home.

?Oh, shit,? he said, ?they are going to win aren?t they. . .? I said that I did not know.

?Well, this is what I now feel and it makes me very sad.? I left Italy with a sense of embarrassment that I could not shake. (Shame?).

I do realize that every country has its own political and civil issues, and that by no means are we Americans alone in the arena of frustration with empty-promise-laden talking heads, but the world does look to the U.S. for a lead when things like the Georgia crisis happens?that is just the way it is.

OK, then, on to the U.K. The viewpoints on U.S. politics seem to be a bit more keen here in Britain, as our two countries have sort of been in bed on things like the ?War on Terror.? I boarded our band tour bus after we arrived at Heathrow, and promptly asked our driver if he was ?up? on the current American presidential race. His name is Darren, and his statement went something like this:

?Oh, yes, I am quite familiar with the whole thing. This Palin bird from Alaska quite scares the shit out of me. She is getting a lot of coverage over here for how bizarre she actually is to us. The U.K. doesn?t really understand someone like her.? I replied that the people that I know from the U.S. don?t really understand her either.

Our conversation moved in and out of a bunch of different issues, including his knowledge of the Diebold voting machine scandal in Ohio after the 2004 election. We spoke of the out-dated electoral-college system still in place in U.S. presidential races. He asked me if I thought that if a single person?s vote still really held weight. I explained that I was perhaps skeptical, but had no real evidence to back up my skepticism. I took note that if Darren represented the average Englander, their education of current political affairs was well above average. Darren also informed me of a common opinion on Bush/Cheney.

?We are not terribly frightened of Bush. He just seems quite ?thick? [errr, not smart], but Cheney scares us to death. It appears to us that he is running the whole show. If the McCain/Palin ticket wins, we are more afraid of her than him.?

In these days of complete-saturation press coverage, could it be that actual campaign policy is ignored or erased by the sheer volume of ?face time? with the camera? On top of that, if some gun-toting Bible-touting right-wing conservative ?scares the hell? out of the average European, whom do they appeal to in America? Look, I?m not dumb, and I do realize that there is a major evangelical movement in the U.S. that can sway an election one way or the other. I also know that the NRA carries a lot of weight. But the more people that I speak with over here, the more INSANE it seems that God and guns are such a huge issue in politics. . . what the fuck? Instead of America perhaps leading the way to world-wide enlightenment, it seems perhaps that ideas from the times of Constantine are being drawn on to control what happens within our borders.

A few days later I had an open conversation with a mix of businessmen and women in London. Their concerns echoed exactly those of our bus driver, without really swaying one way or the other. While they have no idea what Obama would actually do once in office, they would much rather take their collective chances with him than be faced with what they conceived as a darker version of Bush/Cheney. These opinions were shared in Scotland and Ireland too . . . exactly.

Well, folks, there it is. Most of you reading this, being mostly Seattleites and presumably mostly Democratic, are probably bashing your foreheads against a brick wall somewhere. I didn?t set out on this mini-odyssey to depress you, the reader. I was rather hoping to get some insight myself, and to share with you. I would rather be informed than walk around in an ignorant haze. I hope at least that this little article will stimulate thought and perhaps even dialogue. I think I will try to find something humorous to write about next week. Remind me to tell you guys about ?fart tennis.? Until next week, cheers!

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/09/an_enlightening_trip.php

[FunkyMonkey]

Duff McKagan: Fart Tennis

Posted Oct. 1 at 10:52 pm by Duff McKagan

In the last couple of weeks, my blogs have contained some pretty serious subjects that I felt needed addressing. While I love good discourse and intelligent banter, I also love humor, and I believe at times I just take myself too damn seriously. Maybe we all do. I will now step off of the soapbox and unveil another side of what makes my world tick.

If any of you have been reading my last couple of columns, you?ve probably ascertained that I have been traveling a lot. The reason is that I?ve been touring with my most killer band Loaded in Europe. ?Most killer band?Loaded?? you might say. Not only do we think we are sexy motherfuckers (um, we may be all around 40 but we do listen to a lot of Prince before we go onstage), but we are great friends and that counts for something even bigger. We are also killer because we have discovered some of the most awesome tour-bus antics and on-board ethics that are second to none.

Touring with nine guys on a bus, playing every night, and booking only two hotels during a 15-day stint could and does wreak havoc on a guy?s personal space. We do our laundry in the sink of the venue after we play and hang it in the bus to dry at night. Personal space gets smaller and smaller. You must be very observant of everyone?s ever-changing mood, in case a possible situation gets blown out of proportion in a hurry. Our way of dealing with these close quarters is humor. A ton of it.

?Ass to ass, dog!? is the saying when two of us approach each other in the claustrophobic aisle between bunks. This saying came a bunch of years back from a huge security guy who got ruffled when a band member (from which band, I do not know) passed him once crotch-to-ass in a space about the same as an aisle on a Southwest flight. This security guy did not exactly dig the fact that his manhood may have been compromised in that flashing instant. He dressed down the young rocker right then and there: ?Man, it?s always ass to ass, dog . . . ASS TO ASS!? This incident has become folklore in Loaded-land. On the Loaded bus we practice the ass-to-ass program, unless we might be feeling a bit frisky. One of us might approach with our butt facing in, but with a quick turn at passing, you can surprise your fellow band member with a ?junk drag,? that is, crotch-to-ass. It?s really good fun! Hey, I?ve got a college education and I am a responsible father and husband, but hey, you just can?t beat juvenile fun sometimes! My wife joined me in London for a couple of days in the middle of this all-male tour, and I had to quickly break a few bad habits and curb my ?F bombs? (although I pleasantly refrained the ?junk drag? upon first seeing her!).

The first rule on a bus is, NO POOPING ON BOARD! The toilets on tour buses will not accommodate solids. Well, a tour diet is never very wholesome. In fact, it is downright gross. We eat dinner after we play, and you can only imagine the cornucopia open at midnight or 1 a.m. Pizza? Swarma? We always end up with spicy Indian food (there is always great late-night Indian food in the UK). Remember, nine guys, one bus, few rest stops . . . lots of flatulence. ?Evil? Dave is one of our guitar techs, and he is from Sheffield, England. This dude is drop-dead funny. He suggested that we associate a word that sounds like the fart that just happened. Some sound like, say, ?teapot.? The more ?throaty? flatus may sound like ?HAROLD? or ?STREEEETPOST.? This passes time and broadens one?s vocabulary; coming up with new names is almost like playing Scrabble.

This ?name the fart? game was challenging enough, when upon reaching London we met Mike. Mike is my wife?s cousin Heidi?s new boyfriend, and I was sort of keen to check him out. Heidi has had a couple of real lulus lately as far as boyfriends go, and Mike was going to get a full going-over by me before I gave my OK. After we played our show in London and the crew had loaded out, we all just kind of kicked back shootin? the shit (the band, the crew, my wife, Mike, and Heidi). I think that I was trying to see how Mike could ?hang with the boys,? so I brought up ?name the fart.?

?Oh?? Mike said without the least trace of a flinch, ?have you guys tried Fart Tennis??

?Why, no,? we must have all replied at once, maybe too eager to hear of something more inane than ?name the fart? to do with our idle time.

?Service,? Mike said, with a quick burst of brown air; ?You must return serve or I win.? Mike became our Fart Sensei at that moment. It was like the world, all at once, had been revealed. Needless to say, I gave Heidi the thumbs up on Mike.

Now that I am back from tour, I don?t have anyone to play Fart Tennis with. My daughters run from me when I suggest we play a few sets. Anyway, my diet is back to normal, so I think my ranking would probably drop like an anchor, as I wouldn?t be as well-armed to return serve. My dog would for sure be our house champion. All I have now is the fond memory of that tour bus and my eight friends, my competitors, and my band, Loaded.

Well, on second thought, we are going to Japan in three weeks. SERVICE!

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/10/fart_tennis.php

[FunkyMonkey]

Family, Hold Back!

Posted Oct. 8 at 10:14 pm by Duff McKagan

My parents were born in the 1920?s and lived through the depression. Although I came much, much later (I am the last of 8 kids and we are spread over 20 years), we learned from lessons they were hard taught growing up in a time when there just simply wasn?t any work and therefore money.

If you are at any McKagan family gathering (a large crowd to be sure), try muttering ?FHB? and see what happens. Well, I?ll tell you what will happen, you will suddenly see the 8 brothers and sisters taking minuscule portions on their respective plates at the pot-luck buffet table. ?Family Hold Back? is a saying that comes from years of simply too many kids and not enough to feed us all of the time. One of us would almost always certainly have a friend over for dinner and this is when the secret code of ?FHB? started? make sure the guest had enough to eat, take a small portion, don?t say anything.

I remember my mom telling me stories of what it was like growing up in the depression. Stories of not having enough money to heat the house in the winter and wearing sweaters and coats all of the time. Stories of how her mother would fix a broken roller skate or doll and that would be THE Christmas present. These stories have haunted every major financial decision I have made in adulthood. Fear of ending up in some film-noire- like poor house. My mother I think never quite trusted our government and our fiscal system since. We kids were taught by example, lessons of frugality and thrift. These lessons probably kept us all away from being caught up in the recent mortgage crisis directly; you see, we do not spend beyond our respective ?pay-grades?. But people from my generation didn?t all have depression-era parents and I think the fear from that era did not a lasting impression make.

The economy seems to be headed into some sort of prolonged recession. If the $700 billion dollar bailout doesn?t see any kind of worthwhile results, we may indeed be heading into an economic depression. Greed seems to be the culprit. We all wanted more and we want it right fucking NOW! We were led to believe that a $400k loan on a $30k a year salary was do-able. Our lust for bigger and better turned us away from thinking logically. The big financial institutions jumped at the opportunity to make the fast buck without thinking or caring about the long-term quagmire that this sort of shallow-sighted banking practice would create. Of course, the people who got fucked by these loans are now being asked to pony up and bail out the same institutions that screwed them. It just doesn?t make any sense.

I think we all now feel a little ?dirty? for our high rate of credit card spending in our race to accrue more stuff. Our modern capitalist system is based on an amazing economic philosophy. Adam Smith I believe, never envisioned the sheer greed and corruption that his 18th century book ?Wealth of Nations? would eventually be party to.

A Price/Waterhouse employee whom was laid off, killed his family and then himself today apparently over the woes of the stock market slump and his low prospects for any work. It is time indeed to pull in the reigns.

I hear talk on the radio of whomever wins this election having to enact an almost Roosevelt-like ?New Deal? program to resurrect our economy. In short, the ?New Deal? created jobs through Federal Works, like building highways and dams. While these things did help the country in the long run, they were funded pretty much all by the taxpayer. If it weren?t for WWII, who?s to say if this program would?ve worked. Nothing like a good war to re-invigorate private business. I don?t know that much about economics but it seems to me that we need a fiscal-system mixture of socialism and capitalism. Nationalized health care like England and corporate pride like the Pacific Rim.

I think it is time for us all to perhaps look back and study the history of our country. It?s time to read the testimonials of the depression-era (try David M. Kennedy?s Pulitzer prize winning ?Freedom From Fear?). If we can just all stop wanting so much from too little, maybe the race to accrue wealth and material will wane. The peer pressure of ?keeping up with the Joneses? has simply got to stop. FHB!

Personally, I look forward to the prospects of pulling back a bit. Going to Wenatchee for Thanksgiving will provide just as much family time as going to Hawaii. My daughters will have just as much fun. I will do my part and frequent local stores and restaurants as much as is feasible, but I will also be a lot more cognizant of what something costs. I doubt we will splurge on Christmas presents like we have for the past 10 or so years, but hell, we have everything we need and a ton more. Just maybe this whole crisis will bring my little family closer together.

The other night, I was telling my 8-year-old daughter a bedtime story. Usually, these consist of made up lore of how our family dog is a super-hero at night and that is why he sleeps all day. But this night, I decided to tell her of the stories my mother had told me about her growing up in the depression. My daughter thought it was really neat that a doll could be fixed up and re-gifted as a present. It never really dawned on me that perhaps my daughters really don?t need the newest and best things all of the time. Maybe it is time for me to tell them more of the values I was taught growing up in a large family with working class parents. The values that I learned from the depression era. Values that maybe even I have overlooked as of late.

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/10/family_hold_back.php

[FunkyMonkey]

Former Guns N' Roses bassist Duff McKagan has been online diary-ing for the Seattle Weekly, talking about all things Duff-related and this week he tackles a topic near and dear to him: Seattle's struggling sports teams.

The cleverly titled "What happened to our teams?" lets Duff engage his inner W.C. Heinz and spout off about the Seahawks (Jim Mora is a rocker! Kinda cool!); the Washington Huskies (None of the top high-school kids want to come here); the Sonics (Gone forever! Bullshit!).When he talks about the Mariners, though, is when it really gets interesting. He shares this amusing anecdote about a little run-in he had at one of his concerts:

    I ran into Tony LaRussa at one of my gigs last spring and he was dismayed that the Mariners had passed him over a few months earlier.

    ?They passed you over?!? I exclaimed.
    ?Yeah, it?s too bad, I would have loved the gig.?

    Tony LaRussa had just won a World Series with the Cardinals! We need some good management, and I hope they do the right thing this off-season. If not, I suggest we all boycott. Shit, Sweet Lou left because management wasn?t allowing him to do his thing as he saw fit.

So, what's more alarming out of this conversation:That Tony LaRussa really wanted the Mariners job, that LaRussa uses the word "gig", or that he's at a Velvet Revolver concert striking up a conversation with Duff? Nothing is processing.

http://deadspin.com/5065176/brain-explosions-tony-larussa-reveals-to-duff-mckagan-that-he-really-wanted-to-coach-the-mariners

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

I love reading his column.

Well, except that "tennis" article. 

[FunkyMonkey]

The Talk

Posted yesterday at 11:15 pm by Duff McKagan

by Duff McKagan

Last week, I was faced with a hurdle every parent must eventually face. You see, my wife and I have two daughters, the older one just entering middle school this year. With middle school comes the sudden pressures of acting ?grown up,? looking ?cool,? and talking about. . . wait for it. . . SEX. The dreaded moment has come for me as a father: the moment for THE TALK.

Somehow it got back to my wife and I that the kids at school have been joking around about sex. ?What the hell does ?joking around? mean?!? said I. Well, apparently middle schoolers are getting pretty damn cavalier regarding the depth of carnal gossip. It seems that there is definitely a different paradigm these days, a higher bar set. Our youth are exposed to way more stuff, thanks to the World Wide Internets. Gone are the days of finding Dad?s Playboy under his mattress and getting a five-second perusal of some T and A. To add to the complexity of my personal conundrum, we have been in L.A. for the last few years (during the school year, anyway). My wife claims that the peer pressure on women here is indescribable. This peer pressure absolutely has a ?trickle-down? effect on teenage girls, which of course ?trickles down? even further to the preteens. This peer pressure has everything to do with outward appearances and NOTHING to do with intellect and soul. . . well, that?s my opinion anyway.

There are so many great kid-friendly Web sites these days that I would find it somewhat archaic to ban my kids from computer usage. Of course the downside is that 80 percent of Internet content is porn, and it only takes one wrong move for a child to suddenly access all kinds of stuff they just shouldn?t see. My kids use the computer to do homework, communicate with their friends, and access all kinds of new music on YouTube, but again, how does a parent keep on top of everything they see? The new unspoken parenting rule is to only let your kids use the computer when you are in the same room with them. . . it?s just not possible, though. My girls are really awesome and kind and would really feel embarrassed to see anything they shouldn?t on the Web, but how do I REALLY know what they have already been exposed to? In my day, you had to show ID to purchase an adult magazine. Now? It?s just a click away!

I don?t know how many people read this column, and I also don?t know if anyone who reads this is a parent, but let me tell you guys something: Apparently, oral sex in middle school is approached as nonchalantly as maybe kissing was back when I was that age. There is no way my two angels are gonna be ANY part of that nonsense, believe you me! If iChat and YouTube are the new hiding places for extracurricular activities such as this, how do I find out? Fuck, my mind starts to go a million miles an hour thinking about the responsibilities and safeguards we ?information age? parents have to juggle. I don?t want to spy on my kids. There HAS to be trust. They are dealing with so much more data than we did at that age. I will, however, shut down anything that brings harm to my daughters. If I were to find out that anything bad was happening, all of my Utopian hubbub would go out the window, and it would get real 1950?s in the McKagan household, and in a hurry. On top of that, I?d have my shotgun at the ready and you?d better bring an arm! But I digress.

Of course I knew the day would eventually come when I would have to face the reality of my girls growing up. I really try to have an open and non-judgmental relationship with my daughters, and my goal is for them to ALWAYS feel safe coming to me with any problems or ordeals. The time, alas, had come for my wife and I to sit down and speak somewhat candidly about the ?birds and bees? with our 8- and 11-year-olds. I started to sweat. ?OK, McKagan family conference!? is how I always start our team meetings. The girls always get excited at the prospect of some unknown outlier that my wife or I might have in store. This time, however, when I started with ?You know that you girls can tell us anything. . . ,? a slight look of dread started to spread across their faces. When I said the word ?sex,? my 8-year-old started to bawl. Oh shit, this isn?t going to be easy. Things did get settled down once it was understood that no one was in trouble and that this wouldn?t be an inquisition. My older daughter really stepped up, as it were, and actually put the conversation at ease with her candor. ?Yes, Dad, the older girls do talk about all of that stuff but I think that it?s pretty silly. . . they are just trying to act ?grown up.?? The mood of the talk became lighter and our family bond became a little tighter that afternoon.

This past weekend, my wife and I had to go away, and I brought my new laptop with me. The old one is now my older daughter?s, but I haven?t gotten around to resetting any of my profiles on it. My AIM and iChat profiles show and ?transmit? from both. As I was sitting down to look at some e-mail (and sports scores!), my AIM box popped up and a conversation was in full swing. It was my daughter and a bunch of her friends, completely aloof to the knowledge that I was reading their conversations from 5,000 miles away. I felt sure that I was going to see something I wasn?t supposed to, some alter-world of middle-school girls. I envisioned myself calling home to their aunt Heidi (who was staying the weekend with them) and grounding my daughters for something that I was certain to see from my newfound instant-message spy spot. The IMs remained innocent and sweet, speaking of nothing more bawdy than how cute so-and-so?s new puppy was. Boy, did I feel guilty. On second thought, maybe not guilty enough to perhaps keep my profiles in sync, for the next few years anyway.

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/

[FunkyMonkey]

Get In The Ring!

Posted yesterday at 9:04 pm by Duff McKagan


My column from last week entitled ?The Talk? was a little story about my and my wife?s first experience talking to our daughters about sex. The response that this column received was amazingly varied and also overwhelming (I was even called a queer and told to go to therapy! Killer!). The good news is that most people were writing back with their own experiences, lending weight to the fact that it does ?take a village to raise a child.? There were, however, some responses that I feel needed addressing.

This is a public forum and I do know that whatever I may put forth will come under scrutiny. That is absolutely cool with me. Know this, though: This is not an advice column! These are simply stories or observances that I have made from my distinct vantage point. This will be my 11th week, and I feel it is OK now to tell you my side to a couple things.
First off. To you other parents and readers that read last week?s column, thank you for all the good tips and kind words. This parenting thing is a trip! You definitely learn something new every day. I am lucky that I had a mother who taught me some really virtuous lessons from things that happened in her past. I use a lot of these lessons today in raising my own kids, and I need them because there is no ?how to? guide when it comes to raising your own. You have simply got to ?put in the hours? and pay attention. I tell my girls every night that I love them, but I know that I have to do much more. That ?much more? is what NOBODY can school me on. My wife, our two daughters, and I have our distinct footprint, and no generalization quite fits our story. I don?t think that I am alone on this?are you hearing me, parents? We kind of make it up as we go, don?t we?

For instance: Call me uneducated if you must, but I did not really understand what a ?progressive? education was until my older daughter got into fifth grade at her ?progressive? school! It took me that long to figure out that there were differences. How was I to know? Well, you just learn as you go, I guess. I had no idea how to change a diaper until I had to change my own child?s on her first day home?that?s the way it is. There are, however, things that are somewhat innate. Knowing what is appropriate, being a father to girls, gut feelings guide me on this journey. There was one response to last week?s column that sent up red flags for me, and I will paraphrase. The reader stated that he showed his 9-year-old daughter porn to illustrate his ?sex talk.? Hey dude, NOT cool and NOT OK! I believe that a father?s job with daughters is fraught with enough challenges and tightrope walks. A man should show his undying love and support for his girls, and be a strong and understanding shoulder and sounding board (among many other things!). ?Visual guides? simply cross what I for one at least think are appropriate lines? to say the very LEAST!

OK, there were also a couple of quandaries about whether I thought modern rock music, and more pointedly, my old band Guns N? Roses, were partially to blame for some of the problems in our society today. Were some of the issues that I spoke of with my girls (sex talk at school, etc.), partially provoked by GNR? As an artist and part-time historian of music, I have a few things to say on this:

1) I remember being somewhat amused in a Seattle U. philosophy class when I learned that the saying ?What?s the matter with our kids today?? originated from a quote by an ancient Greek philosopher?my point being that the question of society getting worse and worse and our kids responding in a more and more negative way has been going on for a long time. I don?t think our kids act worse than kids of the 1940s or 1840s or 640s. If anything, modern-day parents are probably more on top of things because we can instantly communicate with each other by phone or text-messaging. I get calls from other dads at school to give me a ?heads-up? on school dramas or overheard conversations all the time. Also, I think parents are more educated on what signs to look for to spot abuse in other kids. We are educated because of modern-day communication.

2) Music has been the fall guy for sexual deviancy and social outrage for a long time. Music is an expression of feelings. Music can be social commentary. A band like GNR let the world into the life of five 21-year-olds who lived a somewhat wild and unedited existence. Period. Ravel?s orchestral piece Bolero, from around 1920, got denounced because of the snare drum solo?s cadence. It was criticized for being the same cadence as fornication. We can say now, ?So fucking what?? But it was believed then that society was indeed in danger because of this. We all know that the word ?jazz? meant ?fucking? back in the 1910s and 20s, but we don?t care, because we see how ridiculous it was that there was any outrage at all to jazz music. It?s just music. Turn your FM dial left or right in any U.S. city and you will find a smooth jazz (smooth ?fucking??) station. Personally, I like the sound of that! (I meant the music, you pervert!).

It was also asked if I had in fact filled my daughter?s in on my own past. I assume that this means my World Championship run at drugs and alcohol. The answer is, yes I have. In fact, in about the 3rd grade, my oldest daughter queried me on why I never drank wine with the other adults. I just sort of launched into my story with her. I told her than I am an alcoholic and that if I drank one beer that I probably wouldn?t be able to stop until I went crazy. We have this talk about once or twice a year now and I remind them both that they will have to watch themselves when drinking comes around them in their teen years. They are healthily horrified by my stories and I will keep telling them in more detail as the girls mature.

Well, I am glad that the editors at the illustrious Seattle Weekly were kind enough to let me rant and call it a ?column.? I hope that perhaps someone reading this has something else to add. I have just received word that I will be covering our presidential election results for next week?s column.
Oh, Sarah, you?ve been a bad girl?it?s time for some detention!

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2008/10/get_in_the_ring.php