Slipping back into bad habits again

[vulgar]

Story is last summer I injured my knee. Then the doctor and he told me that I will need to have surgery in the near future if it gets worse. And it has gotten a lot worse and I refuse to get surgery. As a result I started drinking more alcohol to numb the pain. After a while the pain got so severe that the alcohol wasn't able to do the job anymore. So I turned to drugs and they numbed me out but they ended up making me depressed and suicidal. Then I decided to sober up so I can find a job. I ended up taking painkillers which reduced the pain but not fully. so I still was in pain. but i managed to stay sober for two month's. but just last week I began getting into the bad stuff again.

I'm afraid that if continue down this path that I'll end up losing everything. I'm about to get a promotion at my job and I don't want to risk losing that because of this bullshit. People how have had similar problems if you could help me that would be great.

This is a serious thread so no smart ass comments.

[SLCPUNK]

Go to an AA or NA meeting and get some phone numbers pronto.

[Axl4Prez2004]

serious question...why didn't you, or why don't you get surgery to fix your knee?  Is it finances?  Fear of anaesthesia?
it sounds like you've been down the substance abuse road before.  what did you do to get off that road last time?  can the same startegy work??  AA or NA are great ideas.  I wish you all the best. 

[The Dog]

This sounds very Phil Anselmo-ish to me.  Fucked up his life pretty good.  don't make the same mistake.  if you can get surgery, get it.  Physical therapy will last a short period of time.  fucking up your body with drugs and risking your job can have effects that last a lifetime.

[Bill 213]

Why refuse to get surgery?  You're putting yourself through your addiction crap by avoiding it.  If it makes your knee better, do it...don't try to be a hardass and cope with the pain through ways that you know you can't handle.  
Let me just get down to the blunt factor......there comes a time in all our lives where you have to wake up and realize you're not immortal.  You realize that your body is a machine and a very untimely one at that.  Sometimes you have to cut back in your activities that you love, sometimes you have to cut back on the good and tasty foods, sometimes you have to give up smoking or drinking.  Regardless if your surgery sets you back in anyway, get it.......because 10,20 years down the road when you can't walk because you put it off, you're going to be telling yourself, "geez, why was I such a doofus by refusing surgery."  

[ben9785]

Vulgar,

I have been in similar situations many time, resorting to drinking to ease physical and emotional pain alike.

Why are you refusing the surgery? Is it financial issues? Is it morally damaging for you?

Everything can be worked out man. Call around, ask for advice. There's always a way out there.

You don't need to resort to drinking and drugs to try to forget about it or escape reality, because the more it drags on and you try to ignore it, its just going to be more of a problem later.

EDIT: I removed most of my original post because it is irrelevant now.

[vulgar]

 insurance problems,  my insurance will only cover 40% of the costs.

[vulgar]

This sounds very Phil Anselmo-ish to me.  Fucked up his life pretty good.  don't make the same mistake.  if you can get surgery, get it.  Physical therapy will last a short period of time.  fucking up your body with drugs and risking your job can have effects that last a lifetime.

Little different with me though. see he had enough money to cover it. but he just refused so he could continue with his career.

[freedom78]

insurance problems,  my insurance will only cover 40% of the costs.

Man, that blows. 

BUT...a lot of times the insurance companies negotiate the price down, before paying. 

I had a surgery a few years back.  The insurance company haggled it down to about 50% of the original cost, before paying their 80%. 

I don't know if that would apply to you, but it might be worth asking about.  60% of the total cost could be exorbitant, but if they get the costs down, it could only be 30% of the original.  Not a tiny sum, I'm sure (probably still $5K +) but it might be worth it in the long run.

I'm also forced to ask...if your insurance is so bad that you avoid getting surgery when you need it, then why have insurance?  Drop it and save the money (bad choice) or get better coverage (good choice).  Of course, any new company MAY be inclined to say that this is a pre-existing condition, and then they'll fuck you.

Be careful, whatever you decide.

[SLCPUNK]

There are plenty of doctors that are understanding and will work with you. Find a doctor to give you a decent price and set up a payment plan with him.

Then get your butt into an AA/NA meeting.

It's all very doable. Assuming you want to do it.

[crazycheryl]

Seriously, just go have the surgery - talk to the doc and the hospital to work out a payment plan. That's what I'm going to have to do and have already done. I owe like $900 to the hospital for some tests - and I'm like, damn I can only afford to pay maybe $50 a month. So, I called the hospital, they were willing to work it out and asked how much I could afford a month and set me up on a payment plan. So, I may pay for awhile but if they can figure out what's wrong and fix it then it's worth it.

Also, I'm reading this book called "Buzzed". It's about the effects all drugs have on your body - cigs, booze, narcotics, etc. And seriously, probably because I am older, I'm experiencing some of the effects of partying and it's making me stop. It will fuck your body up long run - it will - don't let anyone tell you differently and it could even add to your ailments and you don't even realize it. But when you fix the original source of the pain, you will find it might be easier to get off the booze and drugs because there is nothing to numb or fix any longer. It's a great book, you should pick it up. It is a real eye opener. Nothing preachy, just the straight facts about what drugs do to the body. They even include vitamin supplements in which they know the effects because believe it or not, everyone has an addiction and even some healthy addictions can be too much of a good thing when people don't know what they are doing putting shit into their body.

Your job will understand if you go for surgery - use the healing time to clean off of stuff too. I have shit hole insurance so I look at things the same way too. But seriously, you could wind up worse than you are now. Most hospitals or docs will work with you cause they want the money and they pretty much understand the health system is fucked.

[The Dog]

This sounds very Phil Anselmo-ish to me.  Fucked up his life pretty good.  don't make the same mistake.  if you can get surgery, get it.  Physical therapy will last a short period of time.  fucking up your body with drugs and risking your job can have effects that last a lifetime.

Little different with me though. see he had enough money to cover it. but he just refused so he could continue with his career.

that sucks and I'm sorry to hear it.  medical costs in this country are f'ing ridiculous.  Still, and I know this is so cliche', but where theres a will there is a way.  Maybe talk to your employer?  If they're promoting you thats a good sign, maybe they can help out?  talk with your HR department.  at the very least maybe they can give you good advice on how to afford it.

like i said before though, time and money are short term problems, an addiction or seriously f'ing up your body can last a life time. 

slightly off topic, but man, if Phil didn't get so fucked up on drugs, maybe Pantera (and Dime) would still be around today

[fuckin crazy]

Opiate addiction is not something to fuck around with. I have lost many good friends to this disease. It starts off relatively benign ... a few pills here, a hand full there; then it fucks your life. I have known professionals, some of the top in their field, give it up for dope.

If you have a habit, the best thing you could do, is apply to a State controlled clinic.

Avoid the private clinics, they are only there for profit.

[Verse Chorus Verse]

insurance problems,  my insurance will only cover 40% of the costs.

But isn't all the money that is going towards drugs/alcohol/whatever else going to end up being wasted? Just think, he you cut back on spending on all the bad influences (I know, easier said than done, especially from the point of view of someone who has never personally experienced anything similar) that money could go towards the other 60% of the costs, and you can avoid the lifetime of troubles drugs can do to your body. Try to look for the calmer waters just next door, if you can.