Axl4Prez pulls a Jolie. :(

[Axl4Prez2004]

Hello Folks,

  I've been feeling horrible and run-down the past 3 or 4 days.  I woke up this morning at 6:20, took my temperature of 101, sat up, walked 20 feet to the bathroom, took a leak...and the next thing I know I am on the floor in pain moaning.  Apparently, I blacked out and my wife came running in with our 2 year old (who also happens to be sick), and I shit you not, my wrists were locked into flexion, both of them.  Think Damon Wayans' In Living Color superhero character HandyMan.  My legs and feet were numb with pins and needles as were both of my arms, hands, fingers as well as part of my face.  I was scared out of my mind I broke my neck, or at least bruised my spinal cord. 

  The CT scan was negative, but let me tell you, 4 hours in the emergency room with the immobilizing neck brace is a scary, scary, and uncomfortable ordeal.  My wife and 2 great kids were there for me and I'm happy to tell ya'll I'm okay.
My wife asked me what year it was and I told her 2008...she told me no, it's 2010 and Hillary Clinton is president!   
Laughter is incredible medicine.  Seriously, I was so f'ing thirsty but until cervical fracture was ruled out, I couldn't drink anything.  My wife held my hand as I'm a little doped up right now, and all I wanted was a slurpee.  I got 2 22 ounce slurpees and they were soooooo good! 

  btw, I mentioned Jolie, because as we were waiting for the prescriptions at the drug store, there was a magazine with the headline Jolie Collapses.  Well, I pulled a Jolie.  I hope she's all right. 

  also, I'm a lucky guy.  just thought I'd share.  I really thought I could either die or be paralyzed.  I did some whistling for the kids when I said I want to be..............and yes, I whistled the melody to Better.  What can I say, I love GNR, and yes, my 4 1/2 year old boy knew what I was whistling, BETTER!   

  God dammit, if I die before this album comes out I will be sooo pissed!  Be careful out there folks.  Don't work too hard, especially when you are sick.  I should have known....better. 

[CheapJon]

glad you're ok man!

[freedom78]

I totally thought you had adopted some foreign kid when I read that title. 

Anyway, feel better.   

If you kick off before the album comes out, we'll dig ya up and throw a copy in the casket.   

[GeorgeSteele]

Wow, that is some ordeal you survived.  Very happy to hear that you're doing well.  All the best, man.   

[SLCPUNK]

Take it slow! No more feverish bathroom backflips for you!

[Axl4Prez2004]

Thanks guys, seriously, don't work too hard, stay healthy, don't faint, yada yada yada.

Thanks for all the kind words.  They really do help.  

My wife was telling me when she found me awkwardly wedged between the toilet tank and the wall, my eyes were open but not normal, and I wasn't responding.  The doc things I just went hypotensive and passed out on my feet.  I was fortunate in the fall that I unintentionally pushed some sort of candle-like feminine knick-knack onto the floor that also made a lot of noise.  So you fellas out there, let your ladies put knick-knacks everywhere!  They pay off in the long run!    

ps, nice one SLC!     All I could think is that I'm gonna die next to a toilet!  Jesus Christ!  I'm not certain, but I think Elvis Presley died on the throne.  I don't want to go out like that, or this early!!

[freedom78]

My wife was telling me when she found me awkwardly wedged between the toilet tank and the wall, my eyes were open but not normal, and I wasn't responding.  The doc things I just went hypotensive and passed out on my feet.  I was fortunate in the fall that I unintentionally pushed some sort of candle-like feminine knick-knack onto the floor that also made a lot of noise.  So you fellas out there, let your ladies put knick-knacks everywhere!  They pay off in the long run!    

Seriously?   THAT'S what clued them in to your collapse?  Or am I reading too much into this?   

*BUZZZZZZZZZ*  "Oh my God, Axl4Prez has fallen!  Thank goodness he knocked that 'candle-like feminine knick knack' on the floor!"  

You didn't fall onto it did you?

Sorry...not meaning to laugh, but that IS pretty funny....though the more I read this, the more I think you and I might mean something different by "candle shaped feminine knick knack."   

[Axl4Prez2004]

Freedom, laugh man it's cool!  My wife is telling me it's a "rod-iron candle-holder with a pillar candle," that happened to be up on the top of the tank.  She thought she heard me drop something, but I guess it was a combination of me and the nick-nack biting the dust.  Any noise is good noise in a situation like that.

Scary stuff all around.  But I'm thinking if I'm a bachelor with a chick over, she's probably not going to hear me because there'd sure as hell be no nick-nack to push over.    The latest Playboy magazine wouldn't exactly make noise.

[freedom78]

Freedom, laugh man it's cool!  My wife is telling me it's a "rod-iron candle-holder with a pillar candle," that happened to be up on the top of the tank.  She thought she heard me drop something, but I guess it was a combination of me and the nick-nack biting the dust.  Any noise is good noise in a situation like that.

Scary stuff all around.  But I'm thinking if I'm a bachelor with a chick over, she's probably not going to hear me because there'd sure as hell be no nick-nack to push over.    The latest Playboy magazine wouldn't exactly make noise.

Phew...because I totally thought "candle like feminine knick knack" was code for "vibrator."    

That's why I asked if you fell on it.  Because, if you had, I was thinking this would be an appropriate thread to ask...if a dude falls on a vibrator (as in...falls onto it in such a way that it "finds a cavity"), and another dude at the hospital removes it...is that gay? 

[Axl4Prez2004]

Get your mind outta the gutter Feedom!  I could have died!  But I didn't, so you can laugh your ass off, as can I!!!  This kicks ass!  I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge after he gets visited by the 3 ghosts.  Life is good my friends!  Slurpees kick ass!

Did I mention the initial responders were gonna just carry me down my steps in a chair?  I was very calm about it and said, "no, I need my head stabilized and we need a board."  Despite being scared shitless, I didn't waver on that.  btw, I tried a new cold medicine the night before.  It was a Tylenol pm, blue liquid.  The store the other day was out of Nyquil because everybody is sick.  btw, I don't have the flu or strep throat, they cultured me for both. 

no flu, no strep, no broken bones, I'm such a woos.   

[freedom78]

Get your mind outta the gutter Feedom!

NEVER!

[ben9785]

Axl4Prez2004 what has happened is horrible, but I am very relieved you are OK, and I hope you won't have any more episodes like that.

I hope that you visit a doctor regularly, and after an event like that in particularly, you'll try to get checked up more.

People these ways get sucked into a hard lifestyle and start to take things for granted like one hour extra sleep, or laying off doing too many extra hours and having a proper 2 day weekend instead of thinking about double time pay or whatever, or even those people who work alot and on top of it go out at night on weekends and load themselves with booze. It all amounts.

I hope we won't be hearing any bad news in this community anytime soon. Lets all at least get to enjoy the release of the CD albums.

[Axl4Prez2004]

Ben, thanks man.  Hands down the scariest moment of my life.  I don't ask for much.  The health of my family, being able to provide for my family, and being able to see GNR live again...several times.  I'm not asking for much!!   

  to Ben, and don't worry, health-wise I'm in excellent shape.  This was a complete fluke.  I tried to "tough it out" on Tuesday.  I stayed home Wednesday and was considering going in this morning before all hell broke loose.  If you feel like shit, no matter how much your co-workers depend on you, just call out.  That's the lesson I learned here, and I hope by writing about it, some folks here might not have to go through the same scary shit I did.

[Layne Staley's Sunglasses]

...if a dude falls on a vibrator (as in...falls onto it in such a way that it "finds a cavity"), and another dude at the hospital removes it...is that gay? 

It was a one in a million shot doc, one in a million! -Frank Costanza

  Hands down the scariest moment of my life. 

Well, I am glad that it didn't turn out to be too serious!  I hope nothing like this happens again.

Take 'er easy man!

[ben9785]

Right on man. It's good that you take care of the health, but then again I'm sure you hear so many stories of the healthiest people in the world ending up with major health complications and some people even dying when they haven't even had to tough out a simple flu in their lifetime. Unfortunately we all get older. Myself I am 22 but little problems I had with my knees for example and a bad stomach in my late teens have started to make themselves more profound, and I'm sure stress with employment hasn't helped that either. You have to try to have balance in life at any cost.

I wish you all the best

[The Dog]

That could have seriously effected our campaign - but I would have gotten the sympathy vote. 

Glad you're ok man 

[Axl4Prez2004]

Right on man. It's good that you take care of the health, but then again I'm sure you hear so many stories of the healthiest people in the world ending up with major health complications and some people even dying when they haven't even had to tough out a simple flu in their lifetime. Unfortunately we all get older. Myself I am 22 but little problems I had with my knees for example and a bad stomach in my late teens have started to make themselves more profound, and I'm sure stress with employment hasn't helped that either. You have to try to have balance in life at any cost.

I wish you all the best

For 22, you've got a good head on your shoulders.  You're absolutely right.  I started a new job near the end of last year with more responsibility and we are very understaffed.  Stupid me tries to save the world, staying late here and there, coming in on a weekend day here and there.  It adds up.  Now I know how Axl must have felt in England that night he couldn't finish out Nightrain and PC.  A collapse on stage would not have been cool.  Health always comes first.

 Frank Costanza!    Great reference.

PS  Hill-dog, I thought God was supposed to punish my wife not me!  She was the one that laughed when she saw John McCain raising his arms up halfway...next thing I know I'm the one with decorticate posturing of both wrists!  Seriously, don't hate my wife, she wasn't serious.  McCain is a war hero and we do respect that deeply...we just like to laugh. 
Also, I did have tears.  Tears worked for Hillary twice, I figured I'd give it a try.  Mine was more of a retarded humback whale moaning in heat to be honest.  How would that play with voters?   

[freedom78]

Right on man. It's good that you take care of the health, but then again I'm sure you hear so many stories of the healthiest people in the world ending up with major health complications and some people even dying when they haven't even had to tough out a simple flu in their lifetime. Unfortunately we all get older. Myself I am 22 but little problems I had with my knees for example and a bad stomach in my late teens have started to make themselves more profound, and I'm sure stress with employment hasn't helped that either. You have to try to have balance in life at any cost.

I wish you all the best

For 22, you've got a good head on your shoulders.  You're absolutely right.  I started a new job near the end of last year with more responsibility and we are very understaffed.  Stupid me tries to save the world, staying late here and there, coming in on a weekend day here and there.  It adds up.  Now I know how Axl must have felt in England that night he couldn't finish out Nightrain and PC.  A collapse on stage would not have been cool.  Health always comes first.

 Frank Costanza!    Great reference.

PS  Hill-dog, I thought God was supposed to punish my wife not me!  She was the one that laughed when she saw John McCain raising his arms up halfway...next thing I know I'm the one with decorticate posturing of both wrists!  Seriously, don't hate my wife, she wasn't serious.  McCain is a war hero and we do respect that deeply...we just like to laugh. 
Also, I did have tears.  Tears worked for Hillary twice, I figured I'd give it a try.  Mine was more of a retarded humback whale moaning in heat to be honest.  How would that play with voters?   

There's only one way a campaigning male can justify tears...torture.  You're gonna have to say that your wife tortured you.  When you got to the hospital, did you meekly look at the floor while your wife explained to the doctor "Um...he just fell down...again." 

Domestic violence is not funny. 

[Axl4Prez2004]

       Oh my god, that reminded me of a Lifetime movie I once watched starring Gerald McRaney (of Simon and Simon fame...he was the first Simon...or was it the 2nd one?) anyway, and Judith Light (of Who's the Boss fame, she had shoulder pads in every one of her blazers about as big as an NFL cornerback's)  anywhoo, you guessed it, she was kickin' the crap out of him in the movie.  It was probably the one movie on Lifetime that had a good guy and a bad woman. 

I'm typing this on my lap-top huddled in the shower...she won't find me here...what? NO,  don't turn the water on, my compute

[LittleFly]

Man, with that explaination of what happened, I would have thought a stroke    Then again, I always think stroke cuz I took care of a father-in-law who was prone to them.

Awesome that you can joke about it, though.  IMO that's the best way to deal with this kinda stress  

I need to get more knick-knacks...I don't have any in the bathroom, what happens if I fall down???