I have a boring life - POST STORIES

[The Chad Cometh]

I have recently received a promotion at work and will be now trained as an Apple service technician, yay for me! Well anyway, a condition of this promotion is that I cover for a month the dickhead that got fired for being a dickhead at the reception desk in the service department of our Apple store.

So I find myself there, bored shitless much of the time when last Wednesday in walks this skinny guy wearing a beanie. He sits don and tells me this story of how his 2 month old Macbook somehow has a cracked screen and is now pretty much completely fucked. He shows me and it's beyond fucked really, I mean this thing is gone. So I quote him the price of a new screen (over a thousand cause Mac parts are obscenely expensive) and he seems a bit like "whoah". Well by now this guy's American accent is really getting to me and I I'm pretty damn sure I recognise the bloke, so as I hand him the form to book the machine in I casually say to him, "Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like that guy Mouse from the Matrix?", to which he equally casually replies "yeah that's me". I couldn't fucking believe it! So he starts to fill out the form, Matt Doran ha ha ha. "I remember watching you in Home and Away", "Ha ha, that was a long time ago" he replies.

So while he fills out the form I hit Google and print out this photo ...



to which he graciously and a little bemusidly throws his signature in big red texta. Score! I also quickly opened up this site and showed him that there are still people who (occasionally) talk about the movies. He was definitely surprised people still thought about that stuff so long after the fact.

I booked his computer into Pauly, a fucking top bloke and one I know isn't averse to doing a few dodgy things on the sly if you're the right kinda bloke. I've bunched cones at his North Sydney penthouse and scored weed from time to time so I knew he'd do me and Mouse a solid ha ha ha. He said that when he worked at his old job, over a year or so he'd collected a few Macbooks that were beyond salvage (logic board, hard drive failures and what not) but thew screens worked fine. He was supposed to throw the shit out but he kept the screens and chucked the rest. He said he was willing to fit the screen, charge no labor ... $500. Mouse was otherwise looking at like $1100 and $138 for labor ... So I called Matt Doran on his mobile, feeling all kind of nerdy glee while I did so and let him know the deal ... off the books, all in cash ... "oh fuck yeah, that's really good man" comes the enthusiastic reply. I tell ya, his voice sounds fucking exactly the same as Mouse, it's unbelievably fucking cool! So I know he'll be coming back in a few days to get it, normal turnaround time is 5-6 working days.

So I go and tell Pauly to do the dodgy deal, and he graciously puts a rush on the job, free of charge, saving Mouse another $138. Knowing that this means the job would be completed the next day I went out that night from my new place and bought a copy of the Matrix DVD (my 3 other copies have yet to be moved over from my old house ha ha ha).



He brings the screen into work the next day and fits the bastard by 9:30. I call up Mouse and he says he'll be in later that morning. He comes strolling in the door about 10:30, wearing the same goddam beanie Laughing. I go and grab the machine with the invoice reading $0 and he passes me a wad of cash, remarking "there's 500 ladies for ya" Laughing Laughing. I get him to sign the cover of the DVD and the disk itself, shook his hand, got a super cool "Thanks for all your help Steve" and he was out of there.

Every fucking word of this story is true. When I get around to it I'll post a photo of the pic and DVD as well as getting Pauly to give me the photo he took of me standing next to Mouse.

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

so you helped a hollywood actor save money ?

[Bill 213]

We all know Hollywood actors can't afford repair bills!!!!  I would have charged the bastard double. 

[SLCPUNK]

I remember hearing Bill Cosby laugh about people comping his dinner bills when he went out, or his offers for credit cards. His response was "Where were they years ago, when I was dead broke? I don't need them now, I have money!" 

Kewl story though, thanks for the share.

[LittleFly]

A LONG time ago, I brought my mangy (literally) dog to the vet, for medicine.  I was also about 7 months pregnant.  I walk up to the counter with the dog on the leash, and wait for the receptionist to finish with the previous customer. 

When I walked up, the customer turned and looked right at me.  I had a momentary flash of "He looks familiar..." before I just forgot about it and continue standing and waiting.  As  customer walked away, I advised him to make sure his dog doesn't come near mine, because of the mange.

After confirming my appointment, and I went to sit and wait...the receptionists starting talking to each other excitedly.  The customer had been Conan O'Brian!  His Mom and Dad lived in the area, and his dog had hurt itself while running on the beach.

I hope my dog didn't give his the mange 

[Mr. Redman]

Hmm...well in the past, I've sold Insane Clown Posse black & white face paint many times. I've sold Marilyn Manson the contacts he wears,I've took an order for over 500 Don King wigs for the Jimmy Kimmel show, or something like that, they had Don King on the show and everyone got a wig. Uh...I've sent stuff out to Dizzy Reed from my current job. I duno.

[GNRreunioneventually]

We all know Hollywood actors can't afford repair bills!!!!? I would have charged the bastard double.?

lol me too

[Jessica]

this is an attempt to remember my life.

It's in french, there are translators about.

http://vierage.blogs.marieclaire.fr/

[The Chad Cometh]

I posted this to a few friends who were lied to about the following events. I wanted them to know the truth and I might as well post it here too.

For four and a half years I was a member of another forum ... www.thelastfreecity.com ... A site dedicated to the Matrix which for many a time was THE place to go for Matrix related movies in the time of the making of Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions. At one time there were over ten thousand active members and the boards were a hive of activity. The board was owned by a total pric named Jon and was the most basic of boards, with no signature rights and plenty of bad shit happening on a regular basis (the board crashing, overusing the bandwidth resulting in shutdowns, people hacking the useless security on the siet etc etc etc). Jon would pretty much be MIA for log periods of time and nothing could be done without his authorisation.

After the 2 sequels were released and nothing but a small number of hardcore fans remained fans (I still maintain the 2 sequels were far better in storyline, if not acting, than the original) and the board numbers dwindled significantly.

By 2006, there were but 20 active members (with a number of once stong posters remaining as lurkers) remained and it became a very close knit community. A chick with the username called Sunny (from Sydney) bought the board from Jon and now the regulars contribute money to keep the board up and running. My username over there was Hugo and this is the story of the events that unfolded when Sunny and I decided to meet up in the flesh. I posted this to my friends over there because that lying bitch was trying to pioison them against me, I might as well dump it here as well.

__________

This is the story of one man called Hugo, and his adventures with an old bitch named Sunny. I hope you stick it out and read this all the way to the end, because right now it seems to me like Bek and Pop are doing their best to sully my reputation over at the city. This is the full, "unrated" if yo will, version of accounts that took place when Sunnyday and I decided to meet in the flesh. Everything you read hereafter is nothing but the absolute truth.

Well you all now the beginning of the story. 2 people with a mutual love for the matrix movies who ran into each other on a little fan site which came to be known as TLFC.
After a long long time, the membership on this site dwindled significantly until there was nothing left but a small hardcore community of close friends. After years of shooting the shit at the city, I made an off the cuff remark in the Mouse Alliance (LONG LIVE SHABADOO PALACE!!) about firing up a joint in the hot tub after a particularly shitty day. Shortly afterwords I received a private message from Bek saying that she noticed the little J I was metaphoricaly smoking and did I hit the ol toke in the real world. When I responded in the affirmative she replies that she's laughing her arse off cause she's one of the clan as well. It was very soon after that that we decided that I could come round to her place near the city for a good ol smoking sesison one night.

So the night comes and naturally I'm a bit nervous, but I'm thinking "hey, she's way older than you man so just kick back and have a good time". Then the door opened. Let me tell you people, Bek does not photograph well. In the flesh she is a fucking georgeous creature and it took me by surprise something chronic. I mean I had seen the photos in the TLFC photo album and they don't do her any kind of justice. The obligatory hug and kiss on the cheek and we went inside. Her roommate (and best friend at that point) was going to be home later that night so we had the place to ourselves to smoke ourselves silly. It was a fucking huge relief when there there was a total and utter lack of tension. We sat on the same couch sharing the bong while the 2 cats took turns sharing the other couch. We got along like a house on fire. She whacked off the television and threw on some Jazz music which had never really floated my boat, but this was good shit and we ended up talking so fucking much we totally lost track of time. About 2am I realised I had to be at work in 7 hours and I had a 1 hour drive home and a 2 hour commute back to the city in the morning so we said our goodbye's and I left, with the promise to see each other again soon.

During the week we arranged to meet again on Thursday night and so I found myself sitting next to her on the couch again, punching cones, listening to Jazz and talking the night away. It sort of became a regular thing for the next month or so, with a few jaunts to the beach and barbecues in the backyard and I got to know Bek's room mate Sarah, another incredibly hot chick who I got along famously with. Sarah and I found out that we actually have a shit load in common, the least being our passion for Lost (after I got her enticed with a few tidbits). Sarah's brother Rob also came over a few times and although clearly not being the sharpest tool in the shed, seemed like a pretty nice guy as well. Now here is where the shitstorm starts and we have to veer off onto a savage and somewhat painful tangent.

You see I've always been terrible with the ladies. My experiences with chicks have been few and far between for someone 28 years old. I have no idea how to read or interpret signals or how to play their games, and it was this inate flaw in my personality that created this snowball that rolled down a hill and wiped out a fucking town. During one of my nightly smoking sessions with my best mate Davo I told him how I had been developing quite strong romantic feelings for Bek. I was pretty damn sure at the time that there were some sort of recipricol feelings there so I told my mate I was going to call her up and say something (since I was too fucking gutless to do it in person). He told me flat out it was a bad idea and that he seriously did not think anything good was going to come of this (even though he had hardly interacted with her at the city at this point). I think his words were "don't do it man".  But I couldn't help myself. I mean fuck, I'd spend a few hours leaning up against her with my head almost resting on her right tit while we pissed ourselves laughing at bad websites all night. I've told you I'm bad with the chicks and I seriously thought there was something there.

That night I make the call and it does not go well. I get the enthusiastic "Hi" which gives me a shot of confidence that lasts for all  of 3 seconds and after that I turn into a babbling mess, saying some shit like "i like you ... i really like you"  and stuttering and mumbling. I feel fucking ashamed just thinking about it. Way to pull the ladies with a confidant approach there Steve-O. Lucy for me she was actually really fucking good about it. Although I crashed and burned she did everything she could to let me down gently. Flattered ... respect you for saying it ... all that shit I've heard before. She made a point of how she really really hoped that it wouldn't cause any awkwardness between us and she wanted us to still be friends. Now I've been through this many times and I've repressed feelings like this as a matter of course. It just kinda sucks how all the female friends I have are so much girlfriend material it isn't funny, but I digress. Anyway, I seriously thought I could do it again. Shortly thereafter, the feelings for her I had locked up so tight started to come back with a vengeance. There was nothing I could do and I sure as fuck couldn't say anything to her without looking like a total fucking prick so I continued to try and be the good friend, but I fucked it up, and in hindsight I know she knew pretty much the whole time that something was wrong. I mean I knew I wasn't acting the same over there, I wasn't laughing anywhere near like when I first went over and my appetite all but disappeared. I stopped cooking steaks and shit there because in all honesty, just thinking about eating would make me feel sick to my gut. I was in a real bad place, and was hating myself pretty bad at the time. I made a few posts in the depression and suicide thread on the city, and was thinking some real unpleasant thoughts along the lines of if Sunny ever found out that I was feeling this way again she was going to fucking hate me. Surely she would think I was this immature little shit who couldn't control his feelings and should just grow up already and grow a sack. I mean fuck, these are pretty much the thoughts that were running around my own head at the time.

[The Chad Cometh]

It was during this period of darkness that I turned to one Poptop. She seemed to have this air of niceness and knowing that she was an Aussie and had a family, well I thought I could trust her and get some serious advice in how to cope with this situation that I had created. She was great. Excellent advice and very reassuring and she really did help to bring me somewhat out of the hole I was in (though it took a lot of convincing I wasn't that bad a person on her part). Of course I was massively paranoid of this getting back to Bek, but I felt better when Poptop repeatedly assured me that this was to be kept in strictest confidence. She used the term "the vault", which we all know too well from Seinfeld. It was  my best mate Dave though that took the brunt of my depression and the counselling he gave me over the bong down at the lake near our houses was invaluable. He had never met ol Sunny in the flesh, despite popping in and out very briefly at the city in the now defunct music forum, but he was still able to provide me with some sort of a guide on how to not kill myself ha ha.
.
Then comes Australia Day 2007. The day we had planned in advance for me to come over for a big Lamb BBQ in the backyard. So I get there and things start off pretty well. I fucking love lamb so I actually have a bit of an appetite for the first time over there in a while, thank fucking god. We're sitting around in the backyard, a bit pissed and more than a bit stoned. Sarah heads inside for something and Bek leans over to me and casual as you'd like says "just so you know, Rob and I are kind of seeing each other". "Oh ... o.k." I say and procedd to sink into the biggest funk I think I've been in and then the evil thoughts start. Shit like "she thinks this bloke is better than me? This bloke? Are you fucking kidding me? He's a fucking retard, who's constantly using the phrase 'you know?'". Now I can appreciate an attractive man, and he is anything but, so you can only imagine how this hit a guy who doesn't take the frequent rejection he deals with well when I had to hang around these 2, listening to his stupid contributions to the conversation, having the fucking nerve to say to our dealer "is that all?" when said dealer was feeling bad about his own supply drying up due to police activity. The guy was a wanker ... like seriously. I'm sure there is more than a touch of jealousy in that, but it's all true. To tell you the truth, a little time after that I strongly considered not going round there any more because I simply couldn't take it. It was really only the bloody fantastic relationship I had with Sarah that kept me there. I never had trouble talking to her, and the conversation always seemed to flow thick and fast. We always had a ball together. She happened to know a dealer around the area and I got to know him through her as she helped me score a few times. I asked Bek once or twice, but she always made it clear that Sarah was the one who got the weed.

Around this time the pestering from Bek and Sarah to bring my mate Davo around finally came to a head and when he eventually managed to fanangle a weekend away from security at Channel 7 he came with me one Saturday. Fuck was that a weird day. Being the man he is, he insisted on getting a bottle of piss to take round there so we stopped in at a bottle-o on the way over. He wasn't sure what to get and I was no help at all so he was tossing up whether to get a bottle Midori or Butterscotch Schnapps. We must have been in there a good 20 minutes trying to decide and eventually we resorted to asking the guy behind the counter. We briefly described the situation and the chicks involved and he said definitely the Midori, so 35 bucks later and we were on our way.

When we arrived it didn't start well. Sarah was out of the house for one and when Dave gave Bek the bottle her reaction was that they had been drinking fucking Midori all the previous weekend or some such shit and they already had half a bottle left over from that. There was a bit of laughing it off, but in all seriousness, the evening never recovered from that. We told her we were tossing up between that or the shnapps and she said they had been talking with relish about getting some of that just the night before but didn't get around to it.  I still haven't been back to punch that bottle-o guy in the face yet. When I drove everyone to the shops for BBQ supplies there were these big fucking silences that were so uncomfortable. Back at the house, Bek insisted on turning the tele off "to stimulate conversation" which was fucking ironic because it did anything but. Fuck it was a weird day. The night however was much worse. You see as we were prepping for the bbq, Rob showed up, just in time to be the cook. The one good thing about that was I suppose was that he had a bit to say, as stupid and inane as it was. I in the mean time had just shut up shop. I coudn't think of a fucking thing to say and what little trace of an appetite fucking disappeared as soon as Rob walked through the door. It gets to about 5 minutes before dinner is ready when I say to Bek that Davo and I have to get going. I just couldn't tell her I wasnt going to eat again, but when she replied with "are you fucking kidding me?", she effectively made Dave eat something while I sat and watched. When he finished up, we got the fuck out of there.

The first words out of Davo's mouth were "you don't want that man, you don't fucking want it".  He didn't not like her or anything, but he saw a lot of traits that he thought would really get on my nerves. Now this guy is perhaps the best judge of character out of anyone I've ever met. He pretty much nails it every time so I took his advice quite seriously. That was to be the last time I ever saw her, not that I had any say in the mater whatsover.

A few days later I was having some cones with Dave down by the Lake when he came out with some interesting news. He told me that Bek had e-mailed him, asking if I was alright and that she had asked if he knew if anything was wrong because she had noticed me acting strange and not eating. Then he said something shocking. He said that he had told her pretty much everything. How I sure as hell hadn't taken her rejection anywhere near as well as she thought, that it still dwelled on my mind even though I had tried so hard to put it behind me, how the reason I wasn't eating when I was at her place was because I literally felt sick to my stomach with worry she was going to find out and think I was some pathetic loser. I seriously almost decked him. I was so pissed off and about three and a half seconds later I was massively relieved before becoming hugely paranoid of her reaction. I hadn't had mood swings like that in some time. When I hooked up with him the next night he told me she had replied and her response was  pretty much everything bad I could have imagined. There was a part that pretty much hit the nail on the head about what I thought she would think, that she thought I was being very "immature" and that she seriously thought I was doing the not eating thing as some sort of protest for her rejecting me. I was fucking devastated as you can imagine. I have a seriously vivid imagination and every now and then when I'm feeling bad, the most explicit images will just flash into my mind. Every time it happens they are always after the chick I have feelings for introduces me to the bloke she has just met and everytime they are of said chick doing "things" to the guy.  The reason I never ate when i was around there was because Rob was there alot of the time and my guts would feel like some big fucking muscled up guy was squeezing em for all he was worth while images of Bek sucking the cock of this guy ran uncontrollably though my head. The fact that she thought I was capable of attempting some sort of juvenile emotional blackmail to force her to like me just shows how much she really thought of me.

The rest of the reply was interesting though, as Davo mentioned that she thought that she should sit down and talk with me to try to sort things out because she really did enjoy my company ad sincerely wanted us to be friends. This part of the message made me happy anyway, because I thought that at last I could sit down with her and air some things and hopefully her looking me in the eye (as opposed to over the phone) when she says she doesn't want that kind of a relationship with me would be enough to finally put these fucking feelings to bed. The next day however, there was a message from Sunny to Dave stating that she didn't think she should have to bring the mattter up with me and that essentially I should have the guts to do it myself.

[The Chad Cometh]

Of course that didn't sit well, for the simple reason that that's exactly what I'd been trying to get the fucking courage to do for all this time after that dreaded phone call. I was stil trying to wrap my head around it the next day when the shit really hit the fan. Now bear in mind that  the last time I spoke to Bek it was a happy farewell from her place with promises to come round again soon, so naturally I was a bit surprised when Davo tells me that when he was on the train on the way to work he gets a call from a private number. He answers and on the other end is Sunny, Davo still has no idea to this day how she got his phone number and neither do I. Davo straight away says that, his train is about to go into a tunnel and can he call her back when he gets to where he is going, but instead she comes out with this little nugget ... "Look, Steve needs to fuck off, and so do you" at which point the train went into said tunnel and the phone promptly cut out. Twas for the best really cause he would have hung up on her anyway after shit like that, but when the train comes out, there is a text saying pretty much the same sentiments (she must have thought he didn't get it the first time). As if that wasn't bad enough, shortly after that I get this e-mail from Sunny ...

"Before any permanent damage is done you both need to back off and give me space. I am seriously pissed off here. I am incredibly resentful that I have been dragged into the schoolyard. Leave me alone. Seriously. No calls. No emails. No texts. No private messages."

I thought this was fucking bizarre as the last words I had said to her were a happy farewell, now all of a sudden I'm some kind of childish stalker who wants to drag her back into the schoolyard. What the bloody fuck? Davo received a similar e-mail with the added line, "Tell Steve he needs to get his weed somewhere else". Now that line was a direct attempt from her to stop me seeing her (and by this time my) friend Sarah, which is just fucking bullshit. It did however raise the very strong concern that Bek and Sarah had been deriding me while I wasn't there. I seriously thought that the decision for me to never go around there again was as much Sare's decision as Bek's. Of course I was bloody dismayed by this as it seemed that my crush on Bek had resulted in the destruction of not only one friendship, but two.I wanted to contact Sare to find out, but I was way too fucking paranoid of the fallout if my fears were realised, so I did nothing for a couple of weeks but seethe at that bitch Bek and think about how that cunt just has absolutely no fucking idea what being a friend is all about. The word un-Australian comes to mind (she did spend an awful amount of time in England and raves about the place like it's some kind of fucking utopia), because seriously, looking out for your mates is what being Australian is all about, that shit goes back to the fucking war.

Some time after (no more than 3 weeks) I got an e-mail from Sare, nothing more than a forwarded joke that was actually pretty funny and right up my alley, but it did fill me with confidence. I got even happier when I spoke to Davo and he said Sare had sent him an e-mail pretty much saying what the bloody fuck happened and why had Bek suddenly turned violently on Steve? I gathered that Sare actually knew less than I feared and that she did indeed still want to be friends. This was fucking great news so I sent Sare a message, not really explaining what had happened but suggesting we stay friends and get together for a drink in the city later that week. I was so bloody relieved when she was up for it and that was how I found myself standing at the entrance to an unbelievably impressive accountant firm's skyscraper, nervous as all fuck even though I knew there was no reason to be. I had a ciggie and waited for a couple of minutes when she came out and hit me with a big smile and a friendly hug. Just like that the nerves disappeared and we headed up to a nice bar underneath her building. A wine for her and a JD & coke for me and we just started talking like nothing had ever happened. It was bloody fantastic. After a short while talk inevitably turned to the "incident" and it was here I told Sare everything you have read to this point. Everything. Nothing was left out and I was once again fucking relieved to hear that she too thought that Bek was in the wrong here, and treating her friends like shit. I say friends because it seems that I was not the only one being treated like a piece of dirt by this woman, but that is Sare's story to tell not mine. We spent the rest of the night talking about random shit, including continuing to peak her curiosity about the TV show Lost ha ha ha, until we were both approaching a drunken state. Since we both had to work the next day we decided to adjourn it there, with the promise to meet up again at her place the next time Bek wasn't home.

The next week I got an email asking me if I wanted to come over because Bek was going over to Rob's (Sare's brother's) place for the night. Of course I leapt at the opportunity (Sare is easily the closest female friend I have ever had and I was so overjoyed to not lose that) and off I went. Over the course of the next month or so I went over to their house every chance I could, and then the State of Origin came along.

For you Yankee's reading this let me fill you in on the State of Origin. Do a Wiki search if you want to read about REAL football. We don't use armour down here, our boys wear just a shirt and shorts and hit like a fucking Mach truck, and that's just during the regular football season. Once a year, there is this little series called the State of Origin where the best players from the State of Queensland play three games over the course of 6 weeks against the very best from the State of New South Wales. This is a long standing rivalry that is about as savage and primal as it gets in football. The tackles rattle players to their core and it is not unusual for a 6ft5in man to be knocked unconscious by a particularly brutal tackle. Combine that with the obligatory all in brawl and you have a match made in heaven for us blokes.

My enthusiasm for the series must have snagged Sare's curiosity because she expressed great interest in watching the games with me so she did a bit of a stealth mission and found out that Bek was going out the Wednesday night of the first origin match. Hells yeah! We had a fucking ball, despite the fucking Queenslanders taking it out in a thriller and once again arranged to meet up soon.

Around this time Bek started spending more and more time at Rob's place, until it got to the point she would see Sare but once a week. This was fucking great for me because I started crashing on the couch there more and more until it got to the point where I was spending 6 night a week there, with Bek staying the other one. I heard several more shocking stories about Bek, well and truly confirming my opinion that she was so low she couldn't read the word friendship if it was written on the bottom of our shoes, watched the second game of the State of Origin come and go (fucking Queenslanders got up again!), and in general continued to have a ball with Sare. I also found out that Sare was the only one who's name was on the lease of the place they were renting. By this time I had purchased Lost season 2 on DVD (she had seen the first season on Fox) and we spent many a night having mini lost marathons as I brought her up to speed on what was happening. Then Game 3 of the Origin series came along. Funnily enough Bek decided that she was going to spend that night at home. When Sare said she really wanted to watch the game with me there that night she pretty much got told bad luck. Now that sucked major balls. We could have rocked to a pub to watch it together, but that would have been shit because
a. there would have been no bong;
b. it would have been very fucking noisy and;
c. you can't really explain the rules to a rookie viewer in that environment.
Bek, however was adamant she was going to ruin this for us. I know that Sare had told Bek that she was still remaining friends with me but all I know about that conversation is that "Bek didn't take it well". I laughed my arse off.

[The Chad Cometh]

Luckily for us I have a great mate at work who is also a bit of a stoner and lives in a Penthouse appartment with the biggest fucking television you have ever seen in your life, air hockey and fooseball tables. He too was a bit of a footy rookie, being from Persia, so the evironment was well and truly conducive to stoned footy with the incorporation of random talk. It was a great night, and Pauly being one of the funniest bastards I know, sure did come through for me. I shouted him some weed in return.

By this point I had pretty much come to the sad realisation that TLFC was going to be off limits for me forever more, and that if I did try to post there, Bek would undoubtedly do everything she could to make it miserable for me. I mean I hadn't posted there in a fucking age anyway apart from the story about the Guns'n'Roses concert, and I thought I could try and keep in contact with most of you guys through Myspace anyway. I created the Shabadoo Palace Myspace page but it has remained pretty much a ghost town since it's inception, despite my best efforts to the contrary. I figure you guys are pretty entrenched there at TLFC anyway (God I know I was).

So it continued like that for a little while, me staying there most nights with Bek just making the one night a week stay over when Sare dropped a bombshell on me. She told me one night that she had finally had enough of Bek's shit and that she had told her to move out. Sare was pretty much in tears about the whole thing, feeling (rightly so) that she had been betrayed by her best friend and that she couldn't take it any more. From what I gather living with Bek is no easy task anyway, documentaries are out for example because they are too boring. She then asked me if I wanted to move in. This was a fucking big thing for me ... life changing! I mean I was a 28 year old man still living with his parents because he couldn't decide what he wanted to do with his fucking life. I finished high school, did 2 years of an engineering degree, finished a 4 year teaching degree, taught for a year and a half, went to an IT college and now am working at the Apple Centre. It was actually pretty fucking sweet timing for the whole thing to come down because I had finally developed a plan for my life and moving out was going to be easily the most difficult step. Dave and I were going to move to Cronulla later in the year, but neither of us have any rental experience so it was going to fucking tough finding a place. Now with Sare and I renting this place together (she is coming with Davo and I when we head down to the Shire) it's going to make that move a whole lot easier! I also found out a little tid bit about one Poptop.

Remember how I told you I confided everything to Poptop when I was in the real bad place? What I found out from Sare was that Poptop had betrayed me something savage. Sare told me that she would receive e-mails from Bek that were forwarded directly from Poptop. These messages were cut and pasted from the private messages I sent Poptop, confiding everything and begging (and receiving) repeatedly her assurances that Bek could never know anything of this. She fucking sent my messages to Bek! I was fucking ropeable when I heard that. Absolutely pissed off! It still pisses me off. I sent en e-mail to Poptop saying I could not believe she could betray someone's confidence like that, and I get back a reply acting all innocent like she doesn't know why I'm mad at her. I told her to fuck off and haven't spoken to her since.

So that's how it came to be. Bek pissed off her best friend so much that she got kicked out of her own house and I moved in. I have a sneaking suspicion that's why she's a little pissed at me ha ha ha. Bek hadn't been told I was moving in, but I think if she hadn't figured it out before my meeting with Mouse, she sure as fuck knew after. I don't know if you guys noticed her response to the story, she obviously read the whole thing looking for hidden barbs against her, but there was a bit in there about having to buy another copy of the Matrix for Mouse to sign because my other copies were at my old house. Well she must have thought I put that in her to attack her in some childish way because it was immediately after that the Hugo_Down_Under profile was banned from TLFC. That was a fucking great random encounter. Matt Doran is a fucking stand up bloke and he still talks with the same inflections and shit he did in the movie (and Home and Away ha ha ha). I must get the photo from Pauly, I know Faypuppy is still hanging for it, so expect to see it on the Shabadoo Palace MySpace page sometime soon. That reminds me of a slight tangent I will take you on. Sare told me at one point that when she was still living with Bek, every time I changed my signature to different song lyrics, Bek would come running into the room and say  "look what he's changed it to now", making it out like I was somehow sending her secret messages of resentment because she did not want to go out with me. Gimme a fucking break. How paranoid is this bitch? So I was banned, and I was seriously going to leave it there. I still browsed the site from time to time, mainly because the forum I now frequent is seriously lacking in the movie and game department and there is just no MG or Duck equivalent over there. Every now and then I poked my head into the Talk forum and it was on one of these infrequent jaunts I came across a post from Bek where a picture of me had been posted under a picture of a big fat guy. I fucking laughed because I hadn't thought of that bitch in months and she was clearly still resentful of me, but I was not going to let her poison me to my friends like that. Not going to fucking happen. I've been kinda curious as to why Tek and or Fox hadn't contacted me to as why I had been banned (surely they had to know being admin), but I figured she had just spun them some elaborate story of bullshit.

So I posted from my sock Knob_Jockey stating that if anyone wanted to know more, all they had to do was contact me through myspace. That post was deleted and Knob_Jockey was banned. I pretty much accepted the fact I could do nothing there, she had all the power on that front, so I posted a message from my other sock Yekcoj_bonk to get her to ip ban me, which she did.

That's where this sordid little tale ends. It was because of still trying to attack me on tlfc that inspired me to put all this into print. Funny that if she had just fucking left it alone you would never have found out all this shit. There are ways I can fuck with the city if I so choose. I must have told half a dozen different friends over the years to join (which they did) ... Bachar, The Fonz and Squieroo come immediately to mind ... and they would be more tha happy to spam the site senseless if I were to give the word, and there are ways around an ip ban for myself, but I know how much you guys enjoy it there so I'm not gonna be an arse (though I could go down in the TLFC history books I spose ha ha ha) and fuck it all up (and make the boys fix it up again). I'm a bigger man than that anyway.

Whoever is reading this please do me this one favour. Don't show this or disclose the contents of the pages before you to Bek or Poptop. After I got burned by Pop, I started to get paranoid about who exactly had been told what and by whom. Shortly after I got banned for posting the story about Mouse, I realised something was amis when neither Tek, Fox or saddest for me Steege said sweet fuck all about it to anyone and I couldn't help but notice that under say, Oreo's name, or Benpadiah's, where it would say "knowing the path" it now says "banned". Curiously, the Hugo profile still shows no outward signs of bannage. My fears are that she has spun them some web of lies about why it was necessary, and that's why I would prefer it they were kept out of this particular loop as well.

If you did get this far, I appreciate your persistence and thank you for your time.

[*Timothy*]

We all know Hollywood actors can't afford repair bills!!!!  I would have charged the bastard double. 

I don't think the man is pulling in the Tom Cruise pay days. Most of those cats live very hand to mout . Ie paycheck to paycheck.

[fuckin crazy]

Wow! that was a read. Anyway, everthing ends happily ever after. Every relationship(I know that wasn't ... sort of) that ever ended between myself and another chick(when they broke it off), I always tell them to have a good life, and then never speak to them again.