Thank you everyone, for 6 marvellous years

[Jessica]

In a few days, i am going to disappear.

I'm leaving my baby's dad to a location that has to remain unknown, because he knows this forum's url ( and others).

He won't come here until he finds out we're gone.

I will probably not have internet and i'm not sure i will take the risk to be found for now.

I let justice takes its course and hopefully, things will turn out ok.

In the meantime, i wanted to thank you all for being such nice people.

There are a few special people : drew, BP, Bruna, Buddha master, 55555, so many of yous made me smile when i needed to, some of you gave me strengh when i thought i had ran out, so thank you.

I will only be on here a week at the most.

When i go, i will post a bye bye.

I will not reply to any pm's after, no emails, until i am sure gaby and me are safe.

Long live GNR, thank you for wonderful music.

[Lara]

Sorry to hear you're leaving... Gonna miss you 

I wish you good luck with your new beginning.

Take care! 

[Jessica]

I have no choice, i filed against him, he is going to go mad, now, i have to move, sosince i can sell my stuff monday, i am going to call movers and ask them to be there ASAP.
The police said he will be notified by wednesday probably.
I have to be gone.

[-Jack-]

We'll miss you! Hope things end up ok.. and, well be ok.

[unoturbo]

Let me get this straight: You said to the father of your baby that you were leaving and he tried to stab you. Now you're posting on a message board (that he knows the address of) that you are leaving him for good 

[Evolution]

Take care of yourself and the wee one.

[CheapJon]

i don't know what to say.. i can't express myself in a good way in english when it comes to stuff like this, but i hope this works out great for you and that you'll get a great life with your baby on your own

we will remember you

[Jessica]

Let me get this straight: You said to the father of your baby that you were leaving and he tried to stab you. Now you're posting on a message board (that he knows the address of) that you are leaving him for good 

The story is more complicated :

I have been made dependant of what's called a narcissic pervert, i was full of life, projects, he isolated me, crushed me mentally for years. He was mentally abusive, occasionally violent and self violent, with a tendency to drink.
He is a mythomaniac, one of the symptoms of the above, and a seductor, so he made me ill with paranoia, because he would cheat and convince me i was paranoid, imagining things ( apparently, another clich? for these perverts).
I tried to commit suicide in 2000 because no one would believe me. These sickos apparently are very good to turn the truth inside out and it took me years to discover i was normal and living with a dangerous person.
I had left him and he manipulated once again, so well i was convinced into coming back and gabriel was on the way.
As soon as i was pregnant, his old ways came back.
I was stuck in a huge feeling of guilt, and i tried to stay for my son, hoping he would make a good father.
But when gabriel was born, not only did he not seem to care in the intimate ( because outside, he tells everyone i don't let him have time with the baby), he did not spend time with him.
But the very worst came at easter. He hit me in front of his parents who took his side and he had gaby in his arms.
They held me so i couldn't go to my son who was screaming, full of shit up to the waist, hungry and scared.
Two days later, once back home, I fell asleep deeply in the bed after breasfeeding Gabriel. He was in the middle, between us.
Suddenly, one eye opened and i saw him trying to bring the baby towards his penis.
There was sperm all over the sheet.
The day after, i went to the social services and maternal and infantile protection.
They send a letter to the children's judge saying my kid was in danger.
We were called to the judge who ordered a family expertise until january 2007. Once a month.
Once more, he manipulates them.
But he said something weird and i called the social services to tell them he'd said something and asked them if they'd even noticed.
We are filmed you see, one person with us, one behind a glass ( we can't see but they can).
Anyway, since then, i have told him i was going to leave, as i didn't love him anymore and since i was worried for the kid.

I was always cared of him and i am not anymore ( or wasn't sunday until he lost it)..

So he said he would not hesitate to have me pass as mad to have gabriel's custody and i replied i doubtedhe would have it, because he'd said something weird at the expertise and told him i would not tell him what, but that it was a huge mistake of his, a lapsus.

He asked me if i thought he was a pedophile, to which i replied yes. straight in the eyes.

He then said " i am going out with the kid" and i said " no you're not".

I tried to get gaby, but he punched me, and i ran after him to try to get gaby who was panicked and crying.

And he got a knife out, on me first, and then, turned it against him shouting " you're going to kill me aren't you, aren't you"  and marched on me wit hthe knife, so my stomach would have forced the knife to stab him if i hadn't moved an inch.

I was screaaaming, and the neighbours came in, and that's that, they called the police, this was sunday night.

[Ines_rocks!]

omg  I don?t even kno what to say! We all hv our personal lifes, we often come here and don?t even think about other user?s lives and then I come here and read this... I?m so sorry! This is so sad! I really feel for you and your baby... I deeply, deeply wish you good luck.... hope that man stays away from you forever, and that u can live peacefully with ur baby... no1 deserves to live like this! Once again, good luck, and remember, we are all here for you! 

[Drew]

Jessica, I'm so saddened to hear this news. I am so angry that you and Gabriel have been put thru this by the person you had done so much for. I know this man and I hate him for all he has put you and Gabriel thru. So many years of his bullshit and now you are being forced to run away for you and your Gabriel's safety. I will miss you so much my friend and I wish you all the best and look forward and hoping one day I will see and hear from you again.

Please read your p.m.'s when you have a chance!

Love Always Jessica!

[Elrothiel]

Oh my fucking hell... he sounds like a complete and utter maniac.

I hope everything goes swimmingly for you when you go... it'll be a shame to see you go, but I hope in the future when everything's cool again, you'll return to us!

Make sure that asshole gets put away!

Loads and loads of luck for the future for you and Gaby.

[Jessica]

sadly, the french justice system is not as effective, psychologically advanced as the american one concerning domestic violence.

I don't think he will go to prison, but i will do all my best so that should he be allowed to see his son, be it on neutral territory with surveillance.

[anythinggoes]

Bye Bye Jessica all the best look after yourself and especially Gabriel hope you can get everything to work out for the best for the two of you.

Keep Strong

[Jessica]

Once everything is settled, the filing, the result, the custody and all, i will be back.

But for now, it's best and i don't even know if i will have access to a comp and a net line as my things will be in storage for an undefinite time.

[MCT]

Bye.

[journey]

Best of luck Jessica. I hope things get better for you very soon. Be sure to let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

[Eazy E]

Your posts rarely made sense, but good luck with all the personal issues.   

[Jessica]

Your posts rarely made sense, but good luck with all the personal issues.   

Yes, i suppose my head has been upside down for too long due a very traumatic 7 years now, but i am sorting this out now and am being counselled too, so hopefully, within a few years, i will be what i should have been if i hadn't fallen in love with a crazy person.
I guess living that close to madness kind of makes you just as bad.

[Back Off Bitch]

Bye 

[Jessica]

Oh my fucking hell... he sounds like a complete and utter maniac.

I hope everything goes swimmingly for you when you go... it'll be a shame to see you go, but I hope in the future when everything's cool again, you'll return to us!

Make sure that asshole gets put away!

Loads and loads of luck for the future for you and Gaby.

He is...

He looks like the "normal" person :

Blonde, blue eyes, medium height and weight, wears conventional clothes, acts like the perfect employee, and outside, acts like a cold but normal companion and a devoted father.

Which is why it is extremely hard to have people believe me when i say what happens to me.

I am surrounding myself with people who are professionals, who know these types of individuals, but it doesn't mean i will be able to have the family psychologists and the judge believe it, their egos are at stake.
The " i know my job" type of thing, they are convinced they'd know if someone tried to fuck with their minds but they don't really have a clue, which is why experts will have to explain it tothem on my behalf.

Will it work ? I have no idea.

When i said gaby was in danger, i was told he show no physical sign of agression, so i violently replied to the judge ( and god knows i was rude and extremely graphic) :

Does it mean my son has to have an exploded sphincter so you can do something about his father ?

The judge was the biggest motherfucking macho on earth, who thought ( i could read his face) i was just a woman saying shit about a man because she wants to leave him.

I hate women who say crap about men who haven't done anything, because they put all women and children who REALLY are in danger at risk of not being believed and i hate them for it, i hate it from the bottom of my soul.