Sex Stories

[Kujo]

.... and get a bigger boat.

[monkeychow]

.... and get a bigger boat.

I'm not touching that one 

(ok...so i will be after another few minutes of being single )

[Elrothiel]

I'd do more than just spank....

LMAO...promice? I'm a charity case these days...I tell you if I get one more BJ refusal after getting nude with a girl, i might develop a complex or something 

Oh dear... seems we've got one problem. Mr. MonkeyChow's in Australia...

His ass needs a spanking! Ooh I can bring my bullwhip!!

  Wait...hold on...its not my ass that needs spanking...well ok...actually maybe...but theres bigger problems at hand  Ok that wasn't funny but at least i can laugh at my own jokes 

LOL...yes the fact that i'm in Australia is kinda a problem huh. But then its been so long since i tasted that taste that i'd fly a woman over if she would only not run a mile when I got nude!  Ahh dear...i reach new levels of pathetic with every post! 

Me? Say no to suckin' cock? Not on your nelly!! Gotta be clean though!

And dude, you do NOT sound pathetic! You sound like a dude who just loves sex but hasn't managed to get any in a while because all the women you find are complete prissy princess babies who won't suck cock when told to! Grrr... poor Monkeychow! *huggle*

[monkeychow]

Me? Say no to suckin' cock? Not on your nelly!! Gotta be clean though!

Oh I am clean Zero STDs going with my history and i'm hygine careful when it comes to my parts, that's kinda the irony of it, like she thought it was such a dirty thing to do or whatever, but like i consider it a very clean part of my body, like i tend to wash before touching it so as not to give myself infections from dirt on my hands and so forth. Ok...so now i just sound like a freak!

So basicly...I should fly you over here for a holiday, you can suck me off, I can play with that excellent ass you have, and we can rock out to GNR for a bit?

And dude, you do NOT sound pathetic! You sound like a dude who just loves sex but hasn't managed to get any in a while because all the women you find are complete prissy princess babies who won't suck cock when told to! Grrr... poor Monkeychow! *huggle*

YEah that sums it up God is painful - thanks for understanding 

[EFISH]

Monkeychow, Skynyard... get a room! just kidding u guys can keep up with the cybering if you like..

[Melrose Chick]

Monkeychow, Skynyard... get a room! just kidding u guys can keep up with the cybering if you like..

Babe it sounds to me as though getting a room is exactly what is on their minds!!

[monkeychow]

Monkeychow, Skynyard... get a room! just kidding u guys can keep up with the cybering if you like..

Babe it sounds to me as though getting a room is exactly what is on their minds!!

  I wouldn't say "no" to her that's for sure...time to go call the airline and send her some tickets 

Sorry if its pissing everyone else off though!

[EFISH]

Monkeychow, Skynyard... get a room! just kidding u guys can keep up with the cybering if you like..

Babe it sounds to me as though getting a room is exactly what is on their minds!!

  I wouldn't say "no" to her that's for sure...time to go call the airline and send her some tickets 

Sorry if its pissing everyone else off though!

No, no its asuming

[monkeychow]

No, no its asuming

Its the brillance of the net. Like on here SG is talking about getting on her knees for me, but in real life, given how hot she looks in those pics, i'd say she'd pass me over for someone hotter!! (No disrespect SG - i'm just going on my trackrecord here!!)

The net gives us nerds a chance to dream 

[Chelle]

Its the brillance of the net. Like on here SG is talking about getting on her knees for me, but in real life, given how hot she looks in those pics, i'd say she'd pass me over for someone hotter!! (No disrespect SG - i'm just going on my trackrecord here!!)

The net gives us nerds a chance to dream?

You, my dear, need a shot of confidence in the ass... 

[The Dog]

Its the brillance of the net. Like on here SG is talking about getting on her knees for me, but in real life, given how hot she looks in those pics, i'd say she'd pass me over for someone hotter!! (No disrespect SG - i'm just going on my trackrecord here!!)

The net gives us nerds a chance to dream 

You, my dear, need a shot of confidence in the ass... 

I second that....confidence is probably the most attractive thing to either sex.  You have to act like you are THE MAN....walk a fine line between cocky and confident.  Most of all, remember if you get shot down by one chick, its not the end of the world, there are BILLIONS of other people out there. 

[monkeychow]

You, my dear, need a shot of confidence in the ass... 

Your 100% right on that! Lack of confidence is everything with women to, like you gals can smell it a mile off and run  But mine took some hits back in the day, and its never quite recovered...but i do what i can...

But given this is the sex thread, i'd be expected to say I need to give a shot of confidence to an ass, rather than take one 

[Axlfreek]

i fingered this girl i was fooling around with a few months back, anyway the day after my hand i fingered her with was covered in poisin ivy. i never talked to her again. true story.

[monkeychow]

i fingered this girl i was fooling around with a few months back, anyway the day after my hand i fingered her with was covered in poisin ivy. i never talked to her again. true story.

You mean like you got dermatitis from fingering her? Really?? WTF?

Or that you'd been fingering her with fingers that wern't clean and were 5 seconds of getting a nasty rash themselves cos of it?

 

[Axlfreek]

i never thought about in depth i just kinda put it in the back of my mind and locked it up the the vault. all i know was it was poison ivy and i got it after i fingered her and i didn't have it before. which would mean the obvious.

[Sin Cut]

Talking about confidence I agree with HannaHat and Chelle in this one (tho no one has disagreed either by shouting/posting "Confidence is so unkewl!")

So I was having pillow talk with the girl I've been posting about and we were talking about the first times we met. And she told me she did think I was a bit full of myself, but now when getting to know me she's been positively surprised. And she's been talking about me to her best friend.

So I wonder if that means she might not shoot me down if I ask her to date me seriously, but then again I don't think I need to say anything, since things will prolly go naturally to that.

I asked where did she get such a crazy idea of being full of myself and then I told her that the first time I saw her I told my friend I'll get her.

"You were pretty sure of yourself"
"Yeah, but that's just because I couldn't take the other option"
"Which was?"
"Well, not to have you. Hey, you don't think I'm here just for the sex, honey?"
"You're so sweet"
"Maybe, but that doesn't mean we'll have sex any less"
 

Anyway, she likes fast cars and I get mine from repair tomorrow. I lost the second muffler, so I looked at the spare part prices and they were expensive as hell, so the repair guy asked me if we'll juice some extra power of my ride instead, so we're just stripping the second muffler and hope the simons sports-muffler keeps the car quiet enough, I should get around ten hp more.

But that was not the point  The point was that I'm getting my limo on friday and I asked her if she'd like to do it in a limo, she was totally into it and the limo just happens to have tinted windows.. and I could ask a friend to drive us around when we're doing it  And we should also do it in my sport car.

Oh, and I told her that we're having a contest with my friend this weekend, since he thinks he'll have more sex than we do.
She told me my friend doesn't have a chance.

[monkeychow]

Excellent work Sin!!

Be sure to post the results of the "contest" - how many times you do it on an average day would you say? What make car do you drive? And is it true what they say about chicks and cars...lol.....i had a porsche 944 for a while...didn't help me any 

 

[Sin Cut]

I think we're aiming around 7 or 10 times a day, since we want a crushing victory 

These are my rides.






I dunno is it true about chicks and cars, I usually don't mention anything about my cars, but I learned that with my limo it's better to keep doors locked while in centrum, there's was once three drunken chicks who tried to get it, too bad I had a customer.

But it's fun, chicks comes to talk if I park somewhere, they wave at me in lights, I get fly kisses, it's fun.

[horsey]

i once fell out of bed while haven sex.it was the longest drop ever lol.and the room was very dark.i didn't know when i was going to land.when i did it was a loud crash.and my sister came running in the bedroom .she seen me naked on the floor laughing. :nervous:very funny  thing to happen.

[Kaybee]

So... can a few of the guys here answer this honestly.... is it a complete turn off if a girl is a virgin?