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The Jungle
Sex Stories
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Topic: Sex Stories (Read 83967 times)
liquidvirus
Mechanical Animal
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Gettin Down and Dirrrty
Sex Stories
«
on:
September 05, 2006, 06:22:12 PM »
Well, Since almost every thread in The Jungle, eventually ends up being about sex....a genius idea occoured to me.....yes, a sex thread!!
well pretty much anything goes from sex stories, to some advice, to questions.
All but pictures of kujos ass....that he can keep to himelf
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Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it.
Shirell
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #1 on:
September 05, 2006, 06:40:40 PM »
I havent had sex in aggggggggges....... so I dont qualify I dont think
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Jessica
aged 12 years in 12 years
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Still there
Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #2 on:
September 05, 2006, 06:42:40 PM »
I'll post this sex joke i like :
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?"
He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."
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Nothing to say
Shirell
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #3 on:
September 05, 2006, 06:43:55 PM »
excellent...
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liquidvirus
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Gettin Down and Dirrrty
Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #4 on:
September 05, 2006, 06:46:07 PM »
good one jess...lol
Advice : Dont try to get it on in a TGIF restroom during happy hours
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Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it.
Shirell
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #5 on:
September 05, 2006, 06:58:25 PM »
Quote from: liquidvirus on September 05, 2006, 06:46:07 PM
good one jess...lol
Advice : Dont try to get it on in a TGIF restroom during happy hours
Good, sound advice ... Im going out clubbing on Saturday night... I'll remember that advice
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Kujo
I wonder why we listen to poets,when nobody gives a fuck
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #6 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:34:48 PM »
I really hope your not going clubbing at TGIF
Their wine selaction sucks
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Kujo
I wonder why we listen to poets,when nobody gives a fuck
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Re: Sex Stories
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Reply #7 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:37:12 PM »
Didn't Clinton get in trouble for this same thing?
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Sin Cut
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #8 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:42:51 PM »
well that bird hasn't aged in style, shit I starting it's better to die young and leave a good lookin corpse behind.
I did a silicon-titted chick, those things looked nice, but really didn't feel that cool, I thought they would've been soft.
She was 29, the next day I did 17-year old, now I'm hitting the gym again, 'cos it's only a matter of time before her ex comes after me, he's a pro-boxer, so I think I shouldn't hit him with glasses, but with a baseball bat. Oh, that ex beat her unconscious, twice.
And I sure can handle pain until it hurts, damnit.
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"The real reason a man hits on a girl - is to fight masturbation."
Shirell
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #9 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:44:08 PM »
Quote from: kujo on September 05, 2006, 07:37:12 PM
Didn't Clinton get in trouble for this same thing?
I do believe he did! Damn Bush seems to be enjoying that a little toooooooooo much!
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miss bomb
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nanook
Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #10 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:47:37 PM »
ibiza. my ex bf. a stripper. some drugs. i regret every minute of it
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Sin Cut
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #11 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:47:48 PM »
actually the chicken seems to have a difficult time finding-- whatever it's looking for.
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"The real reason a man hits on a girl - is to fight masturbation."
Kujo
I wonder why we listen to poets,when nobody gives a fuck
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #12 on:
September 05, 2006, 07:56:05 PM »
I wonder if they kept the stained feathers for evidence?
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Shirell
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #13 on:
September 05, 2006, 08:02:44 PM »
Quote from: kujo on September 05, 2006, 07:56:05 PM
I wonder if they kept the stained feathers for evidence?
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Drew
milf n' cookies
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Counting the signs & cursing the miles in between.
Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #14 on:
September 05, 2006, 08:34:21 PM »
Quote from: Melrose Chick on September 05, 2006, 07:44:08 PM
Quote from: kujo on September 05, 2006, 07:37:12 PM
Didn't Clinton get in trouble for this same thing?
I do believe he did! Damn Bush seems to be enjoying that a little toooooooooo much!
Bsuh got the turkey. Clinton got PORKY the PIG!
I think Bush got the better end of it.
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"If you keep going over the past, you're going to end up with a thousand pasts and no future." - The Secret in Their Eyes
Elrothiel
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #15 on:
September 05, 2006, 10:15:31 PM »
Quote from: Sin Cut on September 05, 2006, 07:42:51 PM
I did a silicon-titted chick, those things looked nice, but really didn't feel that cool, I thought they would've been soft.
Just goes to show that real is best.
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SLCPUNK
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #16 on:
September 05, 2006, 10:56:10 PM »
Quote from: Sin Cut on September 05, 2006, 07:47:48 PM
actually the chicken seems to have a difficult time finding-- whatever it's looking for.
Bush should know all about that.........
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-Jack-
Kickin' it old school
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DT imba
Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #17 on:
September 05, 2006, 11:15:35 PM »
Quote from: SLCPUNK on September 05, 2006, 10:56:10 PM
Quote from: Sin Cut on September 05, 2006, 07:47:48 PM
actually the chicken seems to have a difficult time finding-- whatever it's looking for.
Bush should know all about that.........
"They're here somewhere..."
Anyways.. back on topic.. sex stories.. uhhh.. hmm..
Has anyone masturbated for their signifigant others viewing entertainment? Kinda strange!
Haha.
(I just want sex storys in this thread damnit! Lets keep it interesting... I know Garry has some! Bring em out. Bring em out.)
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Chelle
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #18 on:
September 05, 2006, 11:18:41 PM »
Quote from: -Jack- on September 05, 2006, 11:15:35 PM
(I just want sex storys in this thread damnit! Lets keep it interesting... I know Garry has some! Bring em out. Bring em out.)
I love toys!!... the little vibrators disguised at mascara
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"She was queen for about an hour...? after that, shit got sour... She took all I ever had.? No sign of guilt.? No feeling of bad, no..."
Melrose Chick
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Re: Sex Stories
«
Reply #19 on:
September 06, 2006, 07:57:56 AM »
Quote from: Chelle on September 05, 2006, 11:18:41 PM
Quote from: -Jack- on September 05, 2006, 11:15:35 PM
(I just want sex storys in this thread damnit! Lets keep it interesting... I know Garry has some! Bring em out. Bring em out.)
I love toys!!... the little vibrators disguised at mascara? ?
?
Mascara size! Fuck that... (pun intended) something a bit bigger please ...... ummmm but not Mikey sized.... Ooooo No!
Mind you I'd rather have the real thing.... I either need a new man or a new vibrator I think......
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