RR?....VICS?......Axl?........anyone?.....what's the word RR?
Okay, so I called back Geffen today and got the front desk (I'm assuming). Different woman than yesterday, not the gay guy either. This guy sounded like he might have been Spanish/Puerto Rican. Doesn't matter, but just in case someone else calls and gets him.
He asked what I could do for him, and this is BASICALLY how the conversation went:
"Yes, I need to be forwarded to the Interscope Division please."
"What is this pertaining to, sir?"
"What is what pertaining to?"
"This telephone call."
Then I said, "Are you trying to impress me?"
He had no idea what I was talking about and was like, "Huh?"
I said, "Don't say 'huh' to me, soldier."
There was a long pause, then he's like, "I... [huge pause] what can I help you with?"
I said, "Please forward me to the Interscope Divison, preferably to speak with someone in charge of recording."
He said, "I can't do that for..." then he stopped and said, "I mean, without authorization I am not...I can't forward any calls to any... can I have your name?"
Then I said, "My name is Chris Pitman."
I can't recall exactly what he said next but it was something like, "I can't forward your call, Mr. Pitman, unless you provide more information."
I let out a long sigh, then said, "You son of a bitch."
He was really taken aback and said, "I'm sorry?"
And then I said, "You think I lost my best friend Timmy in Vietnam for some smarmy little punk like you to push me around? Let me ask you something. Do you think I enjoyed the 60 days I spent in a Viet Cong prison camp with half my left testicle in a bandage while some pig tried to rape me every Friday?"
And then he started trying to insult me, it was funny. He said he didn't appreciate my tone and that if I wanted to be treated with respect I had to treat him with respect too. Then he implied that he didn't believe I was a VIetnam veteran and I said, "What's that?" And he said, "I don't really understand what Vietnam has to do with anything, sir."
Then I said, "ARE YOU CRAZY?! VIETNAM HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH EVERYTHING!" (Except I didn't yell it very loud because I'm a bad actor, I just did it in a pissy voice.) Then I said something like, "It would have been real damn easy for me to tell that to Little Roger when he was in the V-Z Platoon, Eastern Region and got shot in the balls, wouldn't it?! 'Hey Little Roger, don't worry, Vietnam doesn't matter."
Then he said, "I didn't say it doesn't matter, I said it has nothing to do with your telephone call and frankly I find your attitude confrontational." (Or something like that.)
I said, "What's your name?!" and he said "That's really none of your concern," and I then said "Yes it is, because when I speak to your manager on duty I'm going to tell him what I think of you."
Then he grunted something away from the phone and I got put on hold.
After like five minutes of waiting some one picked up and it was another receptionist!
I honestly don't remember what I said when she first answered but I started ranting about Vietnam again and mentioned masturbatory blindness and she had no idea what I was talking about, so I said "I need to speak with someone in charge of Interscope Records' security, I'm very concerned about the safety regarding one of the albums under that label."
She asked me what I was referencing and I said I had received a complaint from an individual who had connection with Geffen (that would be MrVic
) that unreleased music was being played for everyone to hear, and that my client was very upset and I wished to file a complaint. She said she would redirect me to public relations or something for a complaint and I said no, I wanted to speak to Interscope and she put me on hold.
About thirty seconds after or so (seemed longer) some gruff guy picked up and said his name was Tom, he asked me what the problem was and why I was threatening the receptionists, and I explained a similar story about album safety blah blah blah.
After I was done he said, "What's your name, sir?"
I said, "Christopher T. Pitman, First Lieutenant of the US Marines." (I have no idea if that is even a real title.)
He said, "Mr. Pitman, which band do you represent?"
I said, "What's it matter to you?"
And he said, "Did you or did you not wish to file a complaint?"
I said, "Yes."
Then he was like, "I need to know what you're talking about before I can do that, sir."
I said, "Just tell me one thing, Tom. Did your company blare loud music over the balcony two days ago in the afternoon?"
He said, "It's possible, we play a good amount of music through the balcony."
I said, "This would specifically be Guns N' Roses."
He paused, chuckled, then said, "Okay. Yes. It's possible. I'm not really allowed to say. " Then he changed subject and said, "Mr. Pitman, did you say you represent Guns N' Roses?"
I said, "Stop trying to change the subject. I'm very upset that you would do this. Do you have any idea what kind of security precautions you have violated?"
He told me not to tell him about how to do his job and got an attitude. I said "MTV was there to preview my client's album, that doesn't mean you have a right to let everyone across the damn street hear it."
He told me, "Look, I don't know who you are or what you're trying to pull, but my records do not indiate anyone named Chris Pitman has any control in the Guns N' Roses group or its management. If you cannot clarify this situation I'm going to have to hang up."
So he hung up after I swore at him.
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