One of the problems with any amateur film is that, if you purposely try to break convention, it is likely that you are going to achieve little more than coming across as not knowing what you're doing. I wasn't sure if the jump cuts were intentional, and even if they were I think that you could have done without them.
The only real problem that I thought there was with the film was the music. It was almost as if you had set your mind on the music (bit o' the old rock n' roll) as you decided on the film. It distracted from what was actually a competently edited torture schmango by making it seem generic and typical of our age group (... Unless you're a mature student of course..........). While parts of it were good, like the opening, after a while the solo just became annoying and, as a score, added absoloutely nothing to the atmosphere. I wouldn't necesarily suggest cutting it completely, if that's your thing, but maybe changing the levels a bit for one thing. I found it too overbearing, and to some extent it took over the film.
If you were insistent on using music like that, then I probably would have suggested switching from a shot of the outside, with the music loud and her screaming muffled, using varying shots throughout the film, to the same shots of the inside but with the music muffled and her screams (... Well, whatever she could get out of her mouth....) much louder a number of times. It would help highlight her helplessness as well as ensuring that the music wasn't at the forefront to such an extent. Maybe you could even have some rockers in a field next door, partying it up with the music blasting from a stereo, who can't hear that poor little bitch because of the music! You know, to add a bit more of the distress factor.
Rock!
Oh, and on that note, seriously, fire that actor! Or at least, don't ever use her again! Forgetting for a minute that she started laughing at one point, the main problem with her was that she didn't seem to give a shit that her face was being sliced into! Part of our innate instinct as humans is survival; regardless of whatever mess you are in, when faced with death you are always going to fight to an extent. She didn't even struggle, it was as if she was just going through the motions. What was it, tenth take?
Oh, and I was going to suggest an establishing shot.......
... And then, when I watched it the third time, I noticed that you had one.....................
Oh, and your killer needed more conviction!
Seriously though, not bad. It's better than the mess that I made last year.
Seriously.
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