http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chinese_DemocracyDescription
Also known as Japanese Democracy and Kenyan shitwhore prophecy. A mythological creature which, it is prophesised, will unleash itself upon the world to wreak disillusionment and disappointment upon any poor unsuspecting soul who is unfortunate enough to chance upon it. As with most (if not all) mythological creatures, any rumours of its past, current or future existence are actually a complete load of baloney.
]Pre-1990s
Small children have been scared into obedience for centuries with foreboding tales predicting the imminent arrival of Chinese Democracy if they don't get their chores done, proclaim their devotion to their parents' favourite deity and/or economic system enthusiastically enough, do today's 14-hour shift in the coal mine etc.
1990s to Present
Since the late 1990s, with astrological transitions and ascendancies heralding the imminent dawn of The Age of Nu Guns N' Roses, it has been proclaimed that Chinese Democracy will soon be unleashed to wreak unknown horrors upon a largely unsuspecting world, as punishment upon it for tolerating one person's vanity project for far too long. It has been suggested, by those gullible enough to actually believe this hogwash, that this vanity project should be officially, and forcibly if need be, renamed Axl and "Friends" in a last ditch attempt to avert this disaster from occuring.
The origins of the myth of Chinese Democracy being caused by one person's vanity project are still very much open to contention, with the surrounding controversy allegedly having lead to unprovoked mass rotten-kipper-aided attacks against azure coloured rubber ducks on at least one occasion.
The one person whose vanity project is at the centre of this controversy, Axl Rose, is adament that every other original member in the rock band Guns N' Roses, and quite a few subsequent members too, left because they felt intimidated by his sheer awe-inspiring genius, both as a musician and as an international weapons dealer. He also proudly takes sole responsibility for the doom which it has been prophesised Chinese Democracy will bring, giving weight to some commentators' views that he will do anything to get attention, and should have been spanked more as a child.
One of Axl's original bandmates, Slash, has a very different view of events, however. "He broke my heart", Slash was quoted as saying outside the courthouse where he and every other original member of Guns N' Roses (except Axl) had just faced Assault With A Deadly Rotten Fish charges, relating to their alleged actions towards Axl's much treasured and beloved collection of azure coloured rubber ducks. "They were my one source of solace in this cruel, cruel world", a teary-eyed Axl sobbed in the witness box on the 37th day of this very drawn-out and controversial trial - much of the controversy revolving around whether anyone actually cared how Axl felt.
Slash actually agrees with Axl's claims of sole reponsibility for the prophesised doom which Chinese Democracy will wreak upon the world - Slash's main bone of contention is that he thinks Axl and "Friends" is a much more appropriate name for the vanity project which will (so the story goes) bring this about.
Dealing with Chinese Democracy Fanatics
If anyone ever mentions Chinese Democracy to you in casual conversation, it is strongly recommended that you smile at and back away from them slowly and calmly while making soft, soothing noises. If the person who brings up this topic with you happens to be Axl Rose, ignore this advice and just run for it as fast as you can and as if your life depended on it, because in this particular circumstance it actually does.
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