A few amusing reviews of AFD from amazon to read

[RichardNixon]

1 Star (of five)

I know I'm going to be hated for this...., June 11, 2006

Reviewer: Squash 'N' Squeak "The Torment of Existence Weighed Against the Horror of Non-Being" (The Gates Of Delirium) - See all my reviews

Now before any of you click the un-helpful icon, will you PLEASE hear me out and try to understand what I'm saying. I'm sure most of you will pass me off as "just another kid who can't appreciate classic rock", but that's not true. Most of what I listen to is classic rock. However, just because an album was made a long time ago and it sold well doesn't mean it's a classic.

Once again, please read this before you click the un-helpful icon.

Hair metal was always a horrible genre. It was basically MTV metal. I have friends who hate hair metal - and I couldn't agree with them more - but they like Guns N' Roses. What's the difference between Guns N' Roses and any other hair metal band? They had all the traits ofa hair metal band: inaudible bass, a horrible singer, simple lyrics about getting laid and then killing the girl, the members were a bunch of blonde pretty boys, etc. The only thing I like about GNR is Slash, since he was a pretty good guitar player. Nothing else about the band was special.

Also, I'm very annoyed with people calling this abum "the greatest album ever" or "the best debut ever" or "best album of the 80s." This album was predictable hair metal tripe. It doesn't have any traits to make it any of those things. Guns N' Roses were just your typical hair metal band, just like Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Posion, Def Leppard (however you spell that), etc. There's nothing artsy or revolutionary about this album or band.

Guns N' Roses made the SAME album over and over again. Of course, what could you expect from a hair metal band? Look, I've TRIED getting into this GNR over and over again, but to no avail. All of their songs sound alike as well. There's no substance in them, no originality, no complexity. There was nothing unique about them either. Of course, that's what all hair metal is: the same thing again and again.

Appetite For Destruction takes my place for the most overrated album of all time. It's cheesy, it's shallow, simple, racist, sexist, boring, unoriginal, and ever song on it is the same as the last one.

And no, this isn't the "greatest album of all time." This album doesn't even qualify for being one of the greatest albums of all time. It's just another hair metal album. That's it. For an album to be one of the greatest albums ever, it has to do something for music. It has to revolutionize it or do something for it. Like what Led Zeppelin or The Beatles did. Not some typical, unoriginal, and MTV manufactured hair band.

For better metal, I recommend Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Slayer, Metallica (1983-1991), Megadeth, Pantera, Anthrax, Rage Against The Machine, Queensryche, Opeth, Dream Theater, Morbid Angel, or Exodus. Skip this bland garbage!

I know I'll be hated for this, but everyone's entitles to their own opinion, which means I can attack even the "almighty" Guns N' Roses.

1 Star (of 5)

Appetite for Deconstruction, June 7, 2006
Reviewer: T-Ro (St. Louis, MO) - See all my reviews
Like Poison and Cinderella, Guns N' Roses took hair metal by storm with their 1987 debut, which featured metal riffs alongside Aerosmith-style boogie. Their caterwauling lead shrieker Axel was many, many an American teenage white boy's wet dream: a rocker who could b---- about women, blacks, gays and immigrants with impunity. Better yet, even 'liberal' minded critics ate it up, giving Axel kudos for giving honest voice to the social dislocation felt by white male suburbia. Interestingly, the very things Axel and his legions were railing against were what the contemporaneous Reagan administration were battling: civil and gender rights. (GNR, of course, was not with the conservatives on the sagacy of the sexual revolution.)

Prior to GNR, the punk aesthetic had challenged the dissaffection involved in shrinking economies and the failure of sixities optimism. After GNR, Nirvana and the "Riot-Grrl" movement faced new economic problems and a deepening of apathy. GNR themselves, however, revelled in the culturally divisive consequences of these problems. They celebrated anger like the punks did, but without the punks' sense of irony. "Appetite for Destruction" brought out the worst inclinations of the hair-metal crowd, and whites across the world cheered.

[RichardNixon]

I found the last paragraph in the second review to be particularly amusing. What a pretentious twat.   

[Bandita]

I found the last paragraph in the second review to be particularly amusing. What a pretentious twat.? ?

A pretentious twat that cannot even spell Axl!

[ShotgunBlues1978]

The first moron calling Appetite For Destruction "racist" is so clueless he's referring to a song not even on the album and does it earlier on referring to I Used To Love Her 

The second idiot is also referring to the "racism" of One In A Million.  It's obvious these two pricks never even gave the album a listen.  If they don't like GnR whatever but the least they could do is listen to the music before making up their mind, the brainwashed fucks 

Thanks for the laugh 

[Scarlett]

Someone throw a few bottles of piss at the stupid fuckheads. 

[RichardNixon]

These reviews were just so bad I thought others should check them out.

[Tomorrows]

Check this review of Led Zeppelin (self titled):

3 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
Oh brother!!!, July 7, 2004
Reviewer: A music fan

I sucked into buying too many CD by man at work who say they really good. Each one I listen to too many time and none good, this one too! Man who sing the song sound like a woman, like a woman feeling painful. And too much scream and yelling. Wish I could take back. My english not so good but my music taste very good and know this CD not so great! Songs all sound like same too. Just scream and yell, loud guitar, too much noise. Not good!

[Death Cube K]

That must be the worst reviews Ive ever read. Some people should just be banned from writing on the Internet 

[duga]

He got one thing completely wrong: GNR is not metal and have never been metal. Appetite for Destruction is HARD ROCK at its best.

[RichardNixon]

To say that GN'R sounds just like Bon Jovi is crazy. To say that all GN'R albums sound the same is absurd.

[xj220]

I don't know about you guys, but I've never seen GNR as a hair metal band.  Yeah they had the hair and whatnot, but they didn't completely fill the persona of your typical powerballad arena rock hair band.  I've always seen them as the next stage in music in the era, moving beyond what was typical of the day.

[nygiants82]

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but these morons have no sense of reality. While reading that, my jaw hit the floor. If you dont like Appetite, fine. But to say they sound like Bon Jovi, it is a racist record, and so on just floored me. They absoultley never gave the record a listen. Yeah, "Welcome to the Jungle" sounds so much like "Born to be My Baby". 

Hey, and I like hair metal.

[Ellroy]

Hilarious reviews and these are just from nobodies. I wish I could find some old professional reviews of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. Critics hated these bands (especially AC/DC) when they came out. Back on topic, these guys clearly haven't heard the albums. They've just heard about the controversy surrounding Lies and decided they would base their opinions of Guns on this heresay. A lot of the reviews you read about Guns (professional or regular people) mention racism, etc. I think that one song hurt their reputation so much that people simply refused to like anything they did after it or before it. Yes the song has a few ugly racist terms in it, but if you actually listen to them in context with the verses that come after them you can't call it a racist song. More like a song about anger and frustration during a relatively short period of a person's life. Yes, they are hurtful terms, but I still think the song is grossly misunderstood.
         And as for people calling GNR a metal band or (even worse) a hair metal band, the simple explanation is that people are dumb. Really, really dumb. Most people don't know the difference between genres of music they don't regularly listen to and they don't care to learn. Some retard who listens to whatever is popular on the indie scene probably thinks Stevie Ray Vaughn and Taj Mahal play (played in Stevie's case) metal too. Hell, the most metal thing GNR ever did was the middle of Better and that song hasn't even been released yet!

[AxlsMainMan]

Hell, the most metal thing GNR ever did was the middle of Better and that song hasn't even been released yet!

Haha, Im glad Im not the only one who noticed that!

Just like Im surprised Nesquick actually liked that song since he "hates metal"

[Eazy E]

I find it funny that the same people who laugh at how someone could group GN'R into the "Hair Metal" category would be the same people that would say things like "This sounds the same as all that other bling and hoes garbage" if they were reviewing a hip hop album. 

Really shows the different perspectives people can have on music.  I think these people truly can't seperate the sound of GN'R from those other bands.

[Is he struggling?]

Guns N' Roses made the SAME album over and over again. Of course, what could you expect from a hair metal band? Look, I've TRIED getting into this GNR over and over again, but to no avail. All of their songs sound alike as well. There's no substance in them, no originality, no complexity. There was nothing unique about them either. Of course, that's what all hair metal is: the same thing again and again.

The same album and songs over and over again? Excuse me? So, if this guy is correct then, oh I don't know, Estranged, Think About You and My World are basically soundalikes, and the Use Your Illusion albums were rushed rehashes of GNR Lies 

Appetite For Destruction takes my place for the most overrated album of all time. It's cheesy, it's shallow, simple, racist, sexist, boring, unoriginal, and ever song on it is the same as the last one.

I defy anyone to find an explicitly racist statement in any AFD song.

And no, this isn't the "greatest album of all time." This album doesn't even qualify for being one of the greatest albums of all time. It's just another hair metal album. That's it. For an album to be one of the greatest albums ever, it has to do something for music. It has to revolutionize it or do something for it. Like what Led Zeppelin or The Beatles did. Not some typical, unoriginal, and MTV manufactured hair band.

It's true AFD didn't revolutionise popcultue in the same way an album like Sgt Peppers or Nevermind did (arguably), but to write of G N R as manufactured betrays a very deep ignorance (the same ignorance he accuses G N' R of peprpetrating).

The very things Axel and his legions were railing against were what the contemporaneous Reagan administration were battling: civil and gender rights. (GNR, of course, was not with the conservatives on the sagacy of the sexual revolution.)

Oh right, so Gn'R were shills for the Reagan White House. whatever.

The two reviews quoted above are less an attempt at a critical engagement with the material, then an attempt at serious cultural comment let down by ignorance and thinly veiled personal attacks.

I doubt that either of these bozo's have ever actaullysat dwon and listened to a Guns N Roses record.

[johnnythunders24]

I don't think there's anything political about afd...lol...im sure gn'r considered ronald reagans political philosophy when they were writing it...lol again...and guns n' roses made the same album over and over again??? There is nothing less original in America than preaching tolerance and equality these days...

[BrokenGlass]

simple lyrics about getting laid and then killing the girl

I stopped reading around here. 

[Buddha_Master]

The glam shit is almost something we don't like to talk about. This review is bullshit through and through. But, GNR did come from the scene where if you were a rock band in L.A. at this time you wore makeup period. But GNR was so not fucking glam. They actually killed the glam scene. Axl made fun of glam in the WTTJ video. GNR were the most talented musicians, song writers, and one of the greatest frontman in Rock history. This dude saying what he did is outragous. this dude definitely tosses his boyfriends sald and gets face fucked regularly. That much is certan.

[downzy56]

One of my favourite reviews of Appetite for Destruction on amazon is from a Def Leopard fan.  I'm not going to take the time to find it now, but the dude gives his brief opinion on AFD before launching into a 500 word essay how how Hysteria is the greatest album of all time and that Axl's vocals aren't even comparable to the lead singer of Def Leopard.  Take a look around, it's really funny.

Cheers,

Andrew