How do you handle this?

[Sterlingdog]

If you know someone has forgotten something, for example, your birthday...do you remind them?  Or do you let them forget and feel guilty when they finally remember?

I'm wondering if it means anything when someone forgets stuff like that.  Does it suggest self-centered behavior, or are they just busy and it means nothing?  Is it worth getting hurt feelings over?


To clarify:  I'm not looking for advice.  I'm wondering how others respond in this situation.  What's the most mature way to handle it, or is it okay to be immature and lay a guilt trip on someone?

[Lara]

Usually men forget things like bdays and anniversarys.  Don't take it personally.

[the dirt]

Happy Birthday Sterling! 

[Sterlingdog]

Happy Birthday Sterling! 

I knew someone would think that.  But no, its not my birthday.  My birthday is in November.  I wasn't necessarily talking about a specific incident, more generally.

[Jessica]

Usually men forget things like bdays and anniversarys.  Don't take it personally.

especially when work is on their mind.

My dad used to forget wedding anniversaries and mum would be reaaally upset, but then, he would then take her out and be on his best behaviour and once, he even accepted mum's tango lessons to make up.

Don't worry.

[journey]

If you know someone has forgotten something, for example, your birthday...do you remind them?? Or do you let them forget and feel guilty when they finally remember?

I'm wondering if it means anything when someone forgets stuff like that.? Does it suggest self-centered behavior, or are they just busy and it means nothing?? Is it worth getting hurt feelings over?

I would feel hurt if people close to me totally forgot my birthday. I wouldn't lay a guilt trip on anyone, of course not. I'd be cursing them on the inside. I wouldn't remind them, I'd just hint around. Like if they ask, "what do you want for dinner?" I'll say, "a cake with candles on it." Something like that might get the message out.

[Jessica]

Like if they ask, "what do you want for dinner?" I'll say, "a cake with candles on it." Something like that might get the message out.

If they didn't get the message, you would be in T H I C K land my dear and in your shoes, i'd buy diner to my pet somewhere out in town...

[D]

There is never a good excuse for someone to miss something important.

If u are afraid they will forget, bout a few days before just remind them nonchalantly.

Say like....... u know what Friday is dont ya??? my birthday, our anniversarry etc etc.

[Jim]

I forgot My Best Friends Wedding once. I guess that was pretty bad. But it turned out all right, in the end we just watched a different movie.

(My memory is awful. With names, especialy. Dates, I'm not good with either, and I have no sense of direction. I wouldn't take it too personal, I know what a burden a bad memory is.............)

[Sterlingdog]

Funny, Jim.

Seriously though, no one has ever forgotten someone's birthday?  I have.  In my defense, I was going through a rough time and didn't have a clue what day of the week it was, let alone the date.  But that person has never let me forget it. 

[Jim]

I could never hold a grude against somebody for forgetting something. Even if it was something big, like the King of France's birthday. Sincerity in appology, and then only once, would be enough for me. Neglect, selfishness... They aren't a part of memory lapse, at times of stress the mind can relegate what isn't important (in the grand scheme of things) to the bottom; even if you don't need to be thinking about that exam tommorow that you haven't studied for, chances are you aren't remembering that it's your dad's birthday, either.

I find it hard to imagine the type of mind that it takes to not let go of something like that. The problem is with that person that won't forget it; maybe their mother didn't hug them enough.

It's sad. But you can only judge the impact on the aftermath of realisation.

Maybe when somebody forgets my birthday, I will feel differently.

Though, I never tell anybody when it is my birthday.

[journey]

Seriously though, no one has ever forgotten someone's birthday?? I have.? In my defense, I was going through a rough time and didn't have a clue what day of the week it was, let alone the date.? But that person has never let me forget it.?

They should've been more understanding of your situation. If you were going through a rough time, to the point that you didn't even remember what day of the week it was, then what could they expect from you? His/her reaction seems unreasonable. It's not like you did it on purpose just to be hurtful. Sorry if I'm being too frank.

I forgot to call my dad during one Christmas. I actually didn't forget, I just kept putting it off until later in the day. It was around midnight when I finally did call, which was technically the day after. Now that was bad. I got wrapped up in my own plans. It was selfish of me. I couldn't apologize enough.

[Chelle]

Though, I never tell anybody when it is my birthday.

Jim's Birthday is July 13th 



 

[Jim]

One day before Cameron Poe gets released?

One time, at band camp. Wait, no. It wasn't at band camp. But one time, err somewhere, I forgot Chelle's birthday. Never will she let me forget it.

So far in my life I am yet to miss a major event through memory lapse... But I still live at home, and our family is pretty large. When I'm on my own, well, god help anybody who gives a shit if I forget their birthday.,.

[Sterlingdog]

Do you think that its more acceptable for men to forget stuff than women?

I get a certain amount of grief from my family for not being sentimental at all.  I don't save cards, or scraps of wrapping paper, or anything like that.  I have relatives who I never see send me pictures of their kids who I've never met.  What am I supposed to do with those?  I throw them away.  I've saved a couple of particularly meaningful letters, but that's about it. 

I just wonder if anyone would question it so much from a man. 

[Jim]

In terms of my own thinking on the subject, whether it is a man or a woman should make no difference. How we live, the man is supposed to treat the woman. I know that it isnt' always the case, but it's 'acceptable.' Even if she 'doesn't', the woman expects more; as a consequence she is let down more. It's just how, as one body, it works.

I never throw anything away. It even takes me a while to throw away letters from the bank. On my desk, either side of my laptop right now, are two piles of paper. Just... paper. At the bottom of each pile is work that is well over a year old, notes for subjects that I don't take any more. It isn't that I need any of it, I just don't like to throw anything away, or get rid of it. Two and a half years ago I bought a shitty whistle at a gig. A girl that I was with threw the whistle away, so all that I was left with was the shoelace that it had been hanging from. I still wear the shoelace round my wrist. I couldn't tell you why.

[journey]

I never throw anything away. It even takes me a while to throw away letters from the bank. On my desk, either side of my laptop right now, are two piles of paper. Just... paper. At the bottom of each pile is work that is well over a year old, notes for subjects that I don't take any more. It isn't that I need any of it, I just don't like to throw anything away, or get rid of it.

I'm the same way. I still have papers from high school and birthday invitations from childhood. I even have an old roll of certs that a guy I liked gave me when I was eleven. Yeah that's weird. 

Do you think that its more acceptable for men to forget stuff than women?

I just wonder if anyone would question it so much from a man.

I think there's somewhat of a bias. It's more expected for a woman to be sentimental about holiday cards and pictures.

[Krispy Kreme]

If you know someone has forgotten something, for example, your birthday...do you remind them?? Or do you let them forget and feel guilty when they finally remember?

I'm wondering if it means anything when someone forgets stuff like that.? Does it suggest self-centered behavior, or are they just busy and it means nothing?? Is it worth getting hurt feelings over?


To clarify:? I'm not looking for advice.? I'm wondering how others respond in this situation.? What's the most mature way to handle it, or is it okay to be immature and lay a guilt trip on someone?

Let it go. There are bigger problems in life.

[D]

I'm the same way. I still have papers from high school and birthday invitations from childhood. I even have an old roll of certs that a guy I liked gave me when I was eleven. Yeah that's weird.?

U are really weird!!!!!!!!!!


hunts for certs to throw away.

[SLCPUNK]

I have a horrible memory. I ALWAYS forget things like this. I consider myself a thoughtful person, but when it comes to remembering bdays and things like that........forget it.

If somebody forgot my birthday, I honestly would not care. I'm so past that point now..........it's really just another day. Really.