There's about to be a big change soon.......(need answers for my questions)

[Buddy J.B.]

Okay this isn't one of those threads when people discuss their life issues and beg for advice , this is not that bad, I'm just very curious.

Okay let's get started. You see my life is pretty cool and everything but I never laid eyes on my father. My parents seperated before I was born. I'm straight up positive this is what I want to do. Starting from now , I'm on a quest in search of my dad I've never met before.


When I meet him,will I look back at my past in a whole different way?

Have you ever heard of these stories?

Do you know anyone in the same situation as me ?

Do you think this is brave of me doing?

I'm going to search for him in the phone book and try all the people with the same name. If it's the same dude that graduated the same year from the same high school as my mom, then mystery is solved. Thanks for taking your time to read this,later.

[journey]

That takes a lot of courage. I wish you luck with finding him and hopefully having a relationship with him.

[Evolution]

Good luck to you. I think it's better if you know more about your own history. Life's too short after all for what if's and i wonders

[Kujo]

I'd say its worth tracking him down inorder to find out if there is any medical problems on his families side that you need to be aware of. Other than that, if you are happy in your present life, don't look for too much in this meeting.

You never know how these things could turn out. I would try to find out from a family member that you trust, why your father is not in your life anymore. If it was a peaceful split between your parents than it might be worth investigating, but if it was a messy situation he could try to bring you into the mess and tarnish your view of the people who have been there for you in your life so far.

All I can say is good luck

[Buddy J.B.]

thanks people.

[Lisa]

Good Luck keep us posted on your progress...you made a good decision

[nevermiss24]

good luck and tell us when u find him and remeber rock on!!!!!!

[Buddy J.B.]

good luck and tell us when u find him and remeber rock on!!!!!!

yes indeed.

[Jessica]

Don't expect anything, like to find a good decent guy or a horrible one instead.

Just stay open...

I'd be scared.

I think you have a lot of courage.

I do understand that at this period of life, more than ever, you want to find out about your roots, it's entirely normal.

I think, yes, you will look at your past differently, but how depends on who you find and what he is like.
I can't give you advice, just an opinion and this would be to keep what was good in your memory as good and not change perspectives, whatever happens.
I say this because you cannot change the past and if you find a super person, you could start saying " i could have had that" and it's not healthy to wonder about what never happened.

I do know people in your situation, a good friend i used to have. She had kids and one day, she had a blazing argument with her surrogate mother who threw a " you're only some prostitute's daughter anyway" at her.
She never quite got over it. She didn't NEED to know this detail.

My ex also, who met his dad for the 1st time at 17. His mum had a one night stand and knew where to find his dad for all these years, but for some reason, she waited and he met a man who was cool, nice, educated, with a good job and he started feeling rejection. He knew his mum and dad had agreed on her keeping the baby and him not participating to his life, but when he realised his father was normal, decent, and this especially when his mum left him alone so many times because of her work, he flipped.

I don't know you, but i hope you don't get upset, good or bad.

I will be thinking of you as you go, because i do understand one thing :

You won't find peace unless you do it.

So do it.

[Buddy J.B.]

Don't expect anything, like to find a good decent guy or a horrible one instead.

Just stay open...

I'd be scared.

I think you have a lot of courage.

I do understand that at this period of life, more than ever, you want to find out about your roots, it's entirely normal.

I think, yes, you will look at your past differently, but how depends on who you find and what he is like.
I can't give you advice, just an opinion and this would be to keep what was good in your memory as good and not change perspectives, whatever happens.
I say this because you cannot change the past and if you find a super person, you could start saying " i could have had that" and it's not healthy to wonder about what never happened.

I do know people in your situation, a good friend i used to have. She had kids and one day, she had a blazing argument with her surrogate mother who threw a " you're only some prostitute's daughter anyway" at her.
She never quite got over it. She didn't NEED to know this detail.

My ex also, who met his dad for the 1st time at 17. His mum had a one night stand and knew where to find his dad for all these years, but for some reason, she waited and he met a man who was cool, nice, educated, with a good job and he started feeling rejection. He knew his mum and dad had agreed on her keeping the baby and him not participating to his life, but when he realised his father was normal, decent, and this especially when his mum left him alone so many times because of her work, he flipped.

I don't know you, but i hope you don't get upset, good or bad.

I will be thinking of you as you go, because i do understand one thing :

You won't find peace unless you do it.

So do it.

great speech, you'll be an awesome mom!

[lynn1961]

All I can say is good luck!  I think you are doing the right thing.  But, I have no advice as I have no personal experience with this.  And, yes, you are very brave to do this. 

[McGann]

It is a good thing
For you to find your father
Here's why I think so:

Parents adopted
When my mom was thought barren
2 boys and a girl.

Then my mom gave birth
To a girl, and then a boy
In following years.

I share a birthday
With my adopted sister
(Which is pretty cool)

But enough background.
Patty found her birth-mother
And it was awesome.

She has 2 siblings
Tremendous aunts and uncles
On her birth-mom's side

The reunion was
A joyful time for both sides
Welcomes, open arms.

Patty's Uncle Wayne
Made a video for her
Of the family's past

Pix and video
And ends with shots of Patty
Meeting her birth-mom

Set to Moody Blues
"I know you're out there somewhere"
All who see it weep.

Patty still believes
That mom and dad who raised her
Are her true parents

But her birth-mother
And all of her relations
Have become our friends.

So, good luck, my friend
PM me if you want to
(This haiku bit's HARD!)

And I will try hard
To share supportive stories
In regular prose.

Splash

/Mike