masterbation

[AxlsMainMan]

...um and you didnt offer if she needed an extra hand or anything??

Dreadfully she isn't very nice I have to say? , so I rather stay away from her I was just there to use her computer?
I guess I end up with so much more.

Its the stuff dreams are made of

[RichardNixon]

Who masturbates more, Republicans or Democrats?

I think Democrats do, because they like runaway spending, whereas Republicans like to conserve their load.

But the Neo-Cons whack off the most. Spreading freedom seed all over the world.

[Evolution]

Oops... I mean... Erm.  He has no soul NOW!  Oh yeah - becuse Nixon has it.  Yeah thats righty (Boy did I fool them)

  Nice

[Queen of Everything]

Nice

Yeah - I thought so aswell!!! 

[Megaguns]

ohh... never noticed this thread before.... my missus is pregnant, so mrs palmer and her five daughters is in action.       

[badapple81]

Congratulations mate.. on the pregnancy that is

[Axlfreek]

Ever get spotted at home/work/school with a great big boner? That's why I don't wear sweat pants.

if you ever do wear sweat pants and get wood, just rotate your junk around so the mushroom tip is being held up by the rim of your pants. nobody will ever know.

[newgnr]

*oops I quoted the wrong person, I wanted the post that said "I WANNA HEAR SOME GOOD 'I'VE BEEN CAUGHT' STORIES"*


I do!? and it's REALLY embarising (sp?), but since I don't know any of you personally, i can tell the story.?

So I used to work at a radio station.? On the weekends I did the Top 40 countdown? and when i was working nobody was at the station.? Since my job was really boring (all i did was push play/stop) I found that looking at porn on the computer would stop the boredom.? So, I was in the studio, looking at porn, with my dick in my hands (pants were up tho) and just goin at it.? All of a sudden, out of nowhere my boss walks into the studio to pick up his check.....and to make things worse, I was in the middle of ejaculating!!! haha (this is aweful, I hope this doesn't change your thoughts about me? ) and so, there i am, with my dick out, porn on the computer, and my boss just staring at me.? I put little me away, and X'ed out of the porn and just looked at him.? The most ackward moment in my life.? He said "if I was the manager, you'd be fired right now" and he got his check and walked out.

WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!

[Megaguns]

Takin from the other thread:

What about you?

I think:

Everyone wacks off. Just like everybody takes a shit. All men slap the one eyed yogurt shooter, and all women stir the honey pot...everybody needs tho\e relesase of masterbation. I love to wack off. No matter how bad things are or how unhappy I am, wacking off is the highlight of my day, and everyone does it, if you didn;t you would explode. I like to watch lesbians and lesbian sex. Even the word lesbian is a turn-on and gives me a stiffy.

Oh good lord. I cannot believe the stupid shit I post when I've been drinking.

It worse When you've posted it twice... Read the "hobbies" thread!!?

I do!? and it's REALLY embarising (sp?), but since I don't know any of you personally, i can tell the story.?

So I used to work at a radio station.? On the weekends I did the Top 40 countdown? and when i was working nobody was at the station.? Since my job was really boring (all i did was push play/stop) I found that looking at porn on the computer would stop the boredom.? So, I was in the studio, looking at porn, with my dick in my hands (pants were up tho) and just goin at it.? All of a sudden, out of nowhere my boss walks into the studio to pick up his check.....and to make things worse, I was in the middle of ejaculating!!! haha (this is aweful, I hope this doesn't change your thoughts about me? ) and so, there i am, with my dick out, porn on the computer, and my boss just staring at me.? I put little me away, and X'ed out of the porn and just looked at him.? The most ackward moment in my life.? He said "if I was the manager, you'd be fired right now" and he got his check and walked out.

WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!

lmao!!! fukin hilarious man... killer. 

[anythinggoes]

Ever get spotted at home/work/school with a great big boner? That's why I don't wear sweat pants.

if you ever do wear sweat pants and get wood, just rotate your junk around so the mushroom tip is being held up by the rim of your pants. nobody will ever know.

bus rides used to do that to me thank fuck ive got my own car

[Jessica]

Takin from the other thread:

What about you?

I think:

Everyone wacks off. Just like everybody takes a shit. All men slap the one eyed yogurt shooter, and all women stir the honey pot...everybody needs tho\e relesase of masterbation. I love to wack off. No matter how bad things are or how unhappy I am, wacking off is the highlight of my day, and everyone does it, if you didn;t you would explode. I like to watch lesbians and lesbian sex. Even the word lesbian is a turn-on and gives me a stiffy.

Oh good lord. I cannot believe the stupid shit I post when I've been drinking.

It worse When you've posted it twice... Read the "hobbies" thread!! 

I do!  and it's REALLY embarising (sp?), but since I don't know any of you personally, i can tell the story. 

So I used to work at a radio station.  On the weekends I did the Top 40 countdown  and when i was working nobody was at the station.  Since my job was really boring (all i did was push play/stop) I found that looking at porn on the computer would stop the boredom.  So, I was in the studio, looking at porn, with my dick in my hands (pants were up tho) and just goin at it.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere my boss walks into the studio to pick up his check.....and to make things worse, I was in the middle of ejaculating!!! haha (this is aweful, I hope this doesn't change your thoughts about me  ) and so, there i am, with my dick out, porn on the computer, and my boss just staring at me.  I put little me away, and X'ed out of the porn and just looked at him.  The most ackward moment in my life.  He said "if I was the manager, you'd be fired right now" and he got his check and walked out.

WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!

 

( was caught having a nookie with my then boyfriend on top of bulding roof by dozens of cops, helicopter above us flashing its light and a few cars athe bottom of the building. I was bare ass and they all had a nice conversation with us two, bare bottomed. They thought we were burglars.  )

[mikegiuliana]

masturbation, that's all I do these days...

[anythinggoes]

Takin from the other thread:

What about you?

I think:

Everyone wacks off. Just like everybody takes a shit. All men slap the one eyed yogurt shooter, and all women stir the honey pot...everybody needs tho\e relesase of masterbation. I love to wack off. No matter how bad things are or how unhappy I am, wacking off is the highlight of my day, and everyone does it, if you didn;t you would explode. I like to watch lesbians and lesbian sex. Even the word lesbian is a turn-on and gives me a stiffy.

Oh good lord. I cannot believe the stupid shit I post when I've been drinking.

It worse When you've posted it twice... Read the "hobbies" thread!!?

I do!? and it's REALLY embarising (sp?), but since I don't know any of you personally, i can tell the story.?

So I used to work at a radio station.? On the weekends I did the Top 40 countdown? and when i was working nobody was at the station.? Since my job was really boring (all i did was push play/stop) I found that looking at porn on the computer would stop the boredom.? So, I was in the studio, looking at porn, with my dick in my hands (pants were up tho) and just goin at it.? All of a sudden, out of nowhere my boss walks into the studio to pick up his check.....and to make things worse, I was in the middle of ejaculating!!! haha (this is aweful, I hope this doesn't change your thoughts about me? ) and so, there i am, with my dick out, porn on the computer, and my boss just staring at me.? I put little me away, and X'ed out of the porn and just looked at him.? The most ackward moment in my life.? He said "if I was the manager, you'd be fired right now" and he got his check and walked out.

WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!

 

( was caught having a nookie with my then boyfriend on top of bulding roof by dozens of cops, helicopter above us flashing its light and a few cars athe bottom of the building. I was bare ass and they all had a nice conversation with us two, bare bottomed. They thought we were burglars.? )

oh to be able to see CCTV footage of that, it sounds like a George Micheal video

[Jessica]

Takin from the other thread:

What about you?

I think:

Everyone wacks off. Just like everybody takes a shit. All men slap the one eyed yogurt shooter, and all women stir the honey pot...everybody needs tho\e relesase of masterbation. I love to wack off. No matter how bad things are or how unhappy I am, wacking off is the highlight of my day, and everyone does it, if you didn;t you would explode. I like to watch lesbians and lesbian sex. Even the word lesbian is a turn-on and gives me a stiffy.

Oh good lord. I cannot believe the stupid shit I post when I've been drinking.

It worse When you've posted it twice... Read the "hobbies" thread!! 

I do!  and it's REALLY embarising (sp?), but since I don't know any of you personally, i can tell the story. 

So I used to work at a radio station.  On the weekends I did the Top 40 countdown  and when i was working nobody was at the station.  Since my job was really boring (all i did was push play/stop) I found that looking at porn on the computer would stop the boredom.  So, I was in the studio, looking at porn, with my dick in my hands (pants were up tho) and just goin at it.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere my boss walks into the studio to pick up his check.....and to make things worse, I was in the middle of ejaculating!!! haha (this is aweful, I hope this doesn't change your thoughts about me  ) and so, there i am, with my dick out, porn on the computer, and my boss just staring at me.  I put little me away, and X'ed out of the porn and just looked at him.  The most ackward moment in my life.  He said "if I was the manager, you'd be fired right now" and he got his check and walked out.

WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!

 

( was caught having a nookie with my then boyfriend on top of bulding roof by dozens of cops, helicopter above us flashing its light and a few cars athe bottom of the building. I was bare ass and they all had a nice conversation with us two, bare bottomed. They thought we were burglars.  )

oh to be able to see CCTV footage of that, it sounds like a George Micheal video

D R EAAM

lol

oki, indications ( do not ever tell me if it existed, d'rather not know) :

1994, south london ( streatham hill to be precise) around 3 am, early june.

[Kujo]

I really enjoyed RichardNixons original post. I'm glad you all keep re-quoting it over and over so I can sit here and stroke it reading the same quotes over and over.

[Jessica]

you're much welcome 

[Mr Rage]

if i didn't wank, think how much spear time i would have!

[Kujo]

Think how much money you would save not having to replace all those keyboards.

[Mr Rage]

i've still got the same one, clean it up a bit no one will ever know 

[jimb0]

Any one ever get it on their screen?