Ok, boys and Girls... hang on!

[the dirt]

are these 2 movies relevant in this story or completly meaningless? any thoughts?

When it comes to this, more than those 2 movies are meaningless; much more...

But hey, many of you seem to be having fun with this, so 

[ppbebe]

Fooding of ideas!
that is
at least better than flooding their mailbox! 

[KillYourIdols]

First of all when he was talkinga bout the burgers he was talking about tool's new album, i.e. making a joke. As in, "I know tool's new album is secret, but in the studio, even the burgers are secret!"

There's nothing here guys. When CD is gonna be released you will know about it, not have to decode tool's webmasters blogs.

NOTHING IS GOING ON, GET OVER IT!! NOTHING GOING ON!!!

~KYI

[Hoosier]

So, why did I bring up that Christmas spent with Axl Rose (Toolies and TA)? Well, I can tell you that, even though it might not seem to be the case, there's a bit more going on here than just grease stains from a secret burgers, vintage or otherwise.

^yea that clearly says theres "nothing to read into"


anyway, what i gatherd from it was basicly Maynard and Axl had worked together on Chi Dem and the new songs sound like old school GNR (secret sauce) .
*"dogs n suds" as stated before is clearly GNR.
*"burgers" are songs.
*the "turkey with 2 hearts" is a 2 disk album
*"dinner with all the trimmings was served"- listened to final/finished version of Chi Dem

the "bullet proof monk" and "fast times..." referances still confuse me though. bullet proof monk came out in 2003, fast times... came out in '82. the "referance" to that has to have something to do with the movie/soundtrack. "bulletproof monk" may just actually be nothing, but...

(paraphrasing->) "we all watched bulletproof monk which gave Maynard a chance to add commentary. i wished someone had a video camera to document". did Maynard add vocals to a GNR song with or without someone video taping? hmm..

he also said "axl, his brother, female assistant, pitman, and hiself" was there. i had no idea Axls brother was involved with the band at all. other things i dont get..

*firefly
*"for a vicious thrill lets not forget those frys, which dont travel well"
*the "needed unit" and "peice of equipment"

[Hoosier]

now hang on to your butts cause im really too much into this, but just for the hell of it i wrote down all the numbers and letters mentioned as a math problem, kinda.

12 3 X 2  12:00(midnight) 3:00am......3x2=6. and 12/6/05 is a tuesday. and with that, im going to bed for some much needed sleep

[KillYourIdols]

Obviously the two hearts thing means that GNR and tool are now one. Two hearts beating inside one body. So that means that CD will sound like Tool. Have a hard edge like tool. And abviously Chris Pittman worked and wrote on CD, and we all know that he played with tool, so thats why Chris was brought in. Of course, kitchen means studio, so when he arrived he was in the studio, working on CD. OBVIOUSLY, dog's N suds is GNR, because of the "N" and the fact that there couldn't possibly be a real chain of places called that. (Oh wait there is...) Since you finish food with a sauce, it means that Axl is putting the finishing touches on CD because he's searching for the sauce.

And the dinner HAS to absolutely be him listening to the album, because we all know that serving a large meal with all different kinds of side dishes and shit isn't tradition on Christmas. SO it HAS to be CD.

And as stated, Maynard did vocal work on the album. I mean, they watched a crappy 3 year old movie, it has to mean that, right? What else could it mean? Shit, I MYSELF watched a crappy movie once, and nobody video taped it either, so it must mean that Maynard and Axl are best pals! OH SHIT! MONK! CHINESE DEMOCRACY! I can't believe I'm the first to say it? Maynard, the author, and Axl all sat around and watched BP Monk! Or, should I say, worked on CD! It all makes sense! Of course, we're talking about Maynard and co watching the movie recently, not several christmases ago, but it still makes sense. I mean, who watches crappy movies while eating food who's NOT working on Chinese Democracy!

Axl's brother was there! HOLY SHIT! HIS FUCKING FAMILY WAS HANGING OUT WITH HIM ON A MAJOR HOLIDAY! IN A NON-GNR INVOLVING CAPACITY! WOW! He's probably the new co-lead singer. Stuart, Maynard, and Axl are all gonna be lead vocalists on CD! YES I CAN'T WAIT!

The above statements make 100% total sense.

Unless of course you consider that he was telling a story he knew to his friends when they were eating burgers in the studio one night, watching a crappy movie waiting for someone to come back with something they needed....YEARS LATER!

You're an idiot. Serisouly.

~KYI

[Timmy]

Obviously the two hearts thing means that GNR and tool are now one. Two hearts beating inside one body. So that means that CD will sound like Tool. Have a hard edge like tool. And abviously Chris Pittman worked and wrote on CD, and we all know that he played with tool, so thats why Chris was brought in. Of course, kitchen means studio, so when he arrived he was in the studio, working on CD. OBVIOUSLY, dog's N suds is GNR, because of the "N" and the fact that there couldn't possibly be a real chain of places called that. (Oh wait there is...) Since you finish food with a sauce, it means that Axl is putting the finishing touches on CD because he's searching for the sauce.

And the dinner HAS to absolutely be him listening to the album, because we all know that serving a large meal with all different kinds of side dishes and shit isn't tradition on Christmas. SO it HAS to be CD.

And as stated, Maynard did vocal work on the album. I mean, they watched a crappy 3 year old movie, it has to mean that, right? What else could it mean? Shit, I MYSELF watched a crappy movie once, and nobody video taped it either, so it must mean that Maynard and Axl are best pals! OH SHIT! MONK! CHINESE DEMOCRACY! I can't believe I'm the first to say it? Maynard, the author, and Axl all sat around and watched BP Monk! Or, should I say, worked on CD! It all makes sense! Of course, we're talking about Maynard and co watching the movie recently, not several christmases ago, but it still makes sense. I mean, who watches crappy movies while eating food who's NOT working on Chinese Democracy!

Axl's brother was there! HOLY SHIT! HIS FUCKING FAMILY WAS HANGING OUT WITH HIM ON A MAJOR HOLIDAY! IN A NON-GNR INVOLVING CAPACITY! WOW! He's probably the new co-lead singer. Stuart, Maynard, and Axl are all gonna be lead vocalists on CD! YES I CAN'T WAIT!

The above statements make 100% total sense.

Unless of course you consider that he was telling a story he knew to his friends when they were eating burgers in the studio one night, watching a crappy movie waiting for someone to come back with something they needed....YEARS LATER!

You're an idiot. Serisouly.

~KYI

sounds like you're into this

[anythinggoes]

why has noone picked up on the fact that this article is calling the album a Turkey is that part cryptic too 

[Wooody]

first of all, nothing indicates that Maynard is singing on Chidem, that's wishful thinking, and let me add....THANK GOD ..

if gnr ends up sounding like TOOL, I'm gonna become a basher, burn the copies and start a riot wearing a SLASH t-shirt, , If it sounds like OMG on the other hand, -Industrial but in an Axl way- then I'll be allright with it.

[KillYourIdols]

why has noone picked up on the fact that this article is calling the album a Turkey is that part cryptic too 

 

And to anyone that didn't get it, I was joking.

~KYI

[blasphemer]

dude check it out,  Its a doulble album. The first disc being CD and the second disc being the redone version of appetite.  Thats the vintage part there talkin about.

[AxlsMainMan]

dude check it out,? Its a doulble album. The first disc being CD and the second disc being the redone version of appetite.? Thats the vintage part there talkin about.

Thats a brilliant idea blasphemer, I truly hope Axl thinks about it.

[RustyCage]

Ok, this is sad. These people who posted in this thread REALLY need some news, positive or negative.

There is obviously something enigmatic about the story but CD isn't the JFK assasination, it isn't a loch ness monster....."OMG I SAW NESSIE BUT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE!", put up or shut up. Trying to transform procrastination into some kind of conspiracy is ridiculous.

Stop driving yourself crazy over riddle-like stories.

[Neemo]

K i hadn't read this thread till today, but it is a bit intriguing.

my thoughts... maybe it has nothing at all to do with GnR maybe it is all about Tool.

I assume it's written by this Blair(?) guy, who is he? Looks like he has something to do with the site, or Tools management? dunno

any way maybe he got to preview the album a couple years ago? and it was 3hrs long (midnight to 3am?)

Axl maybe appears on the new tool album (as someone already said)

Tool was asked to comment on CD and maynard helped with it?

12 styrofoam containers? 12 tracks on CD, on tool's new album?

Turkey had two hearts? - UH, Tool and CD released on the same day? When is Tool's new album due in stores?

[Neemo]

ok ... having read the orig post again..... Whoever wrote the story (Blair?) gets to tool's studio to hear some new tool songs recently, he receives a new version of CD with 12 tracks (Special instructons = Track names? or "for your ears only"?).

This event prompts him to tell the story of how he got a chance to go to Axls to hear rough version of CD a while ago with Pittman.  When they arrived Axl was in the studio recording something that sounded like old GnR (The Blues? gooey ballad?). then Blair had second thoughts cuz he didn't care for Old GnR too much.  After Axl was done in the studio they listened to CD. it was 2 disks and around 3hrs long and Blair got to keep a couple copies for himself (which Danny and Adam both liked).

After this story they all listen to the "new" version of CD and they are all impressed with what they hear.

Bullet proof monk was them really watching the movie..  whatever i don;t think it is relevant to the story, just thrown in to add to the cryptic nature of the newsletter. I don't think that Maynard had anything to do with CD.  The post, IMHO, is only to say that they have heard CD and like it and they don't know when it will be released.

[KillYourIdols]

my thoughts... maybe it has nothing at all to do with GnR maybe it is all about Tool.

Maybe? Why would a dude post info about GNR on a Tool's official webpage? Come on guys, please give it up.

~KYI

[DustNroses]

I think it has nothing to do with anything and he is making fun of axl. He probably did spend christmas with axl, but the rest of it sounds like a total sarcastic clever joke to me. You are all reading way way too much into it i think..... But then again...why would they pull it from their site? Ill bet they had more Gnr fans getting on there than ever so they had no reason too remove it....more reason to leave it there i say.

[blasphemer]

Well, I think it has something to do with something. After all who the fuck eats cheeseburgers on christmas.  2nd Im not driving myself crazy with this, its more like im having fun with it.  Maybe it just bothers the haters cause there to braindead to figure out riddles.

[ppbebe]

Exactly, blasphemer.

As I said earlier, the letter is not removed. It's still there except for the "a few years ago" bit. Only the part referring to Axl was taken off from the newsletter.

My guess is that it is indeed about the past and maybe things have changed about in the last few years.

[RustyCage]

Maybe it just bothers the haters cause there to braindead to figure out riddles.

"hater"? hah!

That's not a "riddle" buddy....it's a joke. And you guys are making yourself a joke for taking it as a cryptic message meant for GNR fans.

Do you think you will hear bells when you guess the right meaning behind it? Will you win a car? Or will you be ultimately where you were before you tried to "decode" it? Confused and still wondering about CD. Things that make ya go "hmmmmmmm".....