Ok, boys and Girls... hang on!

[D]

I thought it was a sarcastic, satire type deal but judging by the metaphors and the translations, it sounds pretty fucking exciting

the whole christmas ordeal and the presents under the tree

thats genius.

[Mutherfunker]

It was there, on the table that I saw a dozen or so Styrofoam 'to go' boxes, each with special instructions scrawled in ink.

Completed Songs / Disks?

These, it turned out, were secret burgers (i.e. not listed on the menu) from Firefly, those that are currently both Adam and Danny's favorite burger (which yours truly turned them on to, thus giving away another of the world's great secrets).

GNR tracks nobody knows about yet, Adam and Danny?s favourite band at the moment, which the author? turned them on to. One of the world?s greatest secrets - hmmm

"Even the burgers are secret" I uttered as they checked the Styrofoam lids in order to determine which secret burgers belonged to whom.

?

Axl was in the kitchen, peering into the refrigerator, looking for the ingredients to make a crude secret sauce, the color of which reminded me of the gooey stuff slathered on Dogs N? Suds burgers (an all but forgotten Midwest chain of drive-ins with carhops).

Dogs N? Suds (an all but forgotten Midwest chain of drive-ins with carhops) ? Not a coincidence, has to be Guns N? Roses

Axl trying to create a special sound/ album, the sound of which reminds the author of old Guns N? Roses

This prompted a discussion of gut rumbles from the past, and, in that Axl grew up in the Midwest (from some paradise city in Indiana, I think), he was quite familiar with those rather unremarkable Dogs N? Suds charbroiled burgers all dressed up with their secret sauce (yep, just like those in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). In fact, on this starry Christmas evening, it seemed as if he was maybe even attempting to duplicate the Dogs N? Suds secret.

Axl familiar with Dogs N? Suds (reference to GNR again). Maybe trying to replicate that special ?something? which made Guns N? Roses great

A traditional X-mas dinner with all the trimmings (traditional save for the fact that the turkey had TWO hearts, a little detail that I wouldn't be able to share with you had Axl's people convinced me to sign a confidentiality agreement) was served well after midnight, and then around 3:00 AM (if memory serves me right) lots of presents under the tinsel-festooned tree were opened (many of them being of a robotic nature). There was even a couple under there with my name on them, meaning that Axl had a pretty good personal assistant!

Traditional, but two singers/albums? ? I?m thinking more two albums.

After midnight? (this would be christmas day) The timing may have some relevance, not sure what.

The presents have to be songs (some with industrial influence/buckethead influence)

Couple with the authors name on ? stuff he?s worked on / Axl wants him to work on?

With the story over, and Firefly secret burgers duly impressing all those newbies

The guys like the new songs/material.


Notes: The Christmas story either represents the author first hearing the songs and being asked to work on them (?There was even a couple under there with my name on them?), or it represents the release of the album(s).

Crazy notion mode: ON ? 1). Is it possible that it is a double album?, 2). Could one disc have Buckethead on, and one be without Buckethead?

Haha ? now I?ve got you thinking?? anybody?

Come on, someone has to buy it.... right?

@#$%Funker

[Dont Try Me]

"Even the burgers are secret" I uttered as they checked the Styrofoam lids in order to determine which secret burgers belonged to whom.

?

well.....let me join the nonsence........?

I think he means the different guitar parts, solo's... songs. Which one wrote this, which one wrote that. Who's playing this solo or rhythm? Is it Buckethead?......naah sounds too much Queen-ish.........oh my god.....Brian May!? Just kidding.....or not.... I think he means guest appearances as well.....so it's hard too tell at first who's at it in the songs....and that would be fucking cool.

Now shoot me. I'm nuts 

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

what would be really funny is if all that was really about turkeys and sauce

[erose]

this is turning out to be an awsome topic, i love to think that the burgers are songs etc. i would never have thought about that..., i just thought it was just a stupid christmas story with the nice twist of not making axl look like an asshole!

are we still hoping for a 05 christmas release?

[The Estranged MrFlashbax]

This prompted a discussion of gut rumbles from the past......... In fact, on this starry Christmas evening, it seemed as if he was maybe even attempting to duplicate the Dog N' Suds secret.

duplicate the old Guns n' Roses secret perhaps? rumbles from the past n stuff..

(traditional save for the fact that the turkey had TWO hearts, a little detail that I wouldn't be able to share with you had Axl's people convinced me to sign a confidentiality agreement)

the turkey had TWO hearts.. CD having two discs?

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

oh, and this is supposed to talk about a "few years ago" event ?
or is the "few yers ago" thingie also a riddle .. ?

[Nytunz]

didnt the drummer from Tool play with GNR before Brain joined???

Nope, that was Josh Freese. He is the drummer in A Perfect Circle... Maynard James Keenan (Tool singer) second band... Danny Carey is the drummer in Tool. Maybe the best drummer ever!

[AxlsMainMan]

didnt the drummer from Tool play with GNR before Brain joined???

Nope, that was Josh Freese. He is the drummer in A Perfect Circle... Maynard James Keenan (Tool singer) second band... Danny Carey is the drummer in Tool. Maybe the best drummer ever!

My mistake, I could have sworn Josh Freese also played in Tool..

[roxxi]

(traditional save for the fact that the turkey had TWO hearts, a little detail that I wouldn't be able to share with you had Axl's people convinced me to sign a confidentiality agreement)

I was sceptical at first, but this made me think the story might really be about CD. He knows people aren't allowed to talk about it...

[Scabbie]

Very entertaining! 

I wander why it was removed from Tool's website     its not as if there was anything factual in it

Are the Tool fans discussing it on their website?





 

[Wooody]

didnt the drummer from Tool play with GNR before Brain joined???

Nope, that was Josh Freese. He is the drummer in A Perfect Circle... Maynard James Keenan (Tool singer) second band... Danny Carey is the drummer in Tool. Maybe the best drummer ever!

My mistake, I could have sworn Josh Freese also played in Tool..

apc, tool, who cares they both sound exactly the same

Burgers can be songs, and they don't know who to credit ? or who wrote which song? Idunno

[Saul]

I'm gunna go out on a limb and guess that the story about being at axl's house during xmas was really a story about being at axl's house during xmas. 

[duga]

I'm gunna go out on a limb and guess that the story about being at axl's house during xmas was really a story about being at axl's house during xmas. 

Agree   

[Nytunz]

didnt the drummer from Tool play with GNR before Brain joined???

Nope, that was Josh Freese. He is the drummer in A Perfect Circle... Maynard James Keenan (Tool singer) second band... Danny Carey is the drummer in Tool. Maybe the best drummer ever!

My mistake, I could have sworn Josh Freese also played in Tool..

apc, tool, who cares they both sound exactly the same

Burgers can be songs, and they don't know who to credit ? or who wrote which song? Idunno

Thats the same as saying that Velvet and Guns sounds axactly the same..

[ppbebe]

Since it's from the Tool....it must be something! Yay, Scabbie! Even if not, it's entertaining at least!

A sign of sensory deprivation would be the case when we reached to the point we can?t even enjoy this little puzzle!


The letter is still there in the site, save for the bit on "another of the world's great secrets". Apparently the letter is about the upcoming album of Tool overall and reference to a certain Christmas evening was brought up for the secret burger connection as a parenthesis. (but maybe more).

Yea, it's ambiguous- double entendre... Also I notice there's quiet a few Ws in this piece. 2 secret burgers (one from Firefly(Tool?) and the other with Axl's secret sauce), to duplicate the D N' Ss secrets, two hearts, ?a couple of pressies with tool's webmasters name. Any more?....W Axl rose .

"Bullet proof Monk" is an actual film and may also stand for something irreversible?......a final mix?
Then again this part must be back on tool's new album. (see, how these parts weren't removed from the newsletter!)

So, I think the removed bit is indeed about GN'Rs CD....well, probably the past state of it.

[Scabbie]

Since it's from the Tool....it must be something! Yay, Scabbie! Even if not, it's entertaining at least!

A sign of sensory deprivation would be the case when we reached to the point we can?t even enjoy this little puzzle!


The letter is still there in the site, save for the bit on "another of the world's great secrets". Apparently the letter is about the upcoming album of Tool overall and reference to a certain Christmas evening was brought up for the secret burger connection as a parenthesis. (but maybe more).

Yea, it's ambiguous- double entendre... Also I notice there's quiet a few Ws in this piece. 2 secret burgers (one from Firefly(Tool?) and the other with Axl's secret sauce), to duplicate the D N' Ss secrets, two hearts, ?a couple of pressies with tool's webmasters name. Any more?....W Axl rose .

"Bullet proof Monk" is an actual film and may also stand for something irreversible?......a final mix?
Then again this part must be back on tool's new album. (see, how these parts weren't removed from the newsletter!)

So, I think the removed bit is indeed about GN'Rs CD....well, probably the past state of it.

What do you mean by a 'W'?

[Hoosier]

2 things that really confuse me:

bullet proof monk
fast times at ridgemont high


are these 2 movies relevant in this story or completly meaningless? any thoughts?

[ppbebe]

I mean "double", 

hoosier, how about my idea? bullet proof=irreversible...and Monk can be monkey that may stand for music......

fast times at ridgemont high

I thought it a name of some burger shop....a US thing?

[ryan_of_lax]

Wow,
I bet the people in Tool world would be having a good laugh about how much people are reading into this.

Maybe Axl is recording at the same studio as Tool? Perhaps that's the "Secret" meaning of this story being brought up.