HTGTH Roast: First ever!!! Donnie aka D!

[D]

 


to answer your signature Kujo

Balls deep

[SLCPUNK]

Remember when D went to Las Vegas to party? It didn't go too well for him.

Even the hooker told him she had a headache!!!!

[Kujo]

At first i thought you had the IQ of an ice scraper, but then it occured to me that an ice scraper has 2 things you dont: Direction and purpose.

When they were handing out brains, you thought they said 'trains' and asked for a slow one.

I wonder what you are going to do for a face when the babboon wants its ass back.

Last time i saw a belly like that i was given a stocking full of presents.

After reading your previous two posts I was wondering if you could write more than a one sentence retort or does the time it takes to figure out a comeback cut into your worktime at the shelteredworkshop. Retard.

You need to get a life outside of the internet. Go outside, look around. I'm sure trailer parks smell lovely in the morning.

Are you a professional ass-clown, or is this your first public audition?

If ignorance was bliss, than your entire life would be a perpetual orgasm.

What is the smallest muscle in a sheeps ass? Apparently your dick.

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge but it looks as if you just gargled.

Your incompetence is an inspiration to idiots everywhere.

Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths?

You must have a very large brain, to hold so much ignorance.

Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the shit in there?

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

[SLCPUNK]

D comes from a family line of not too smart people.

During the civil war his great granddaddy fought for the west!!

 

[Prometheus]

D comes from a family line of not too smart people.

During the civil war his great granddaddy fought for the west!!

 

hahaha no no he thought it was teh west... it was actualy canada.... LOL

[Kujo]

On this special occasion where we roast our "friend" D, I thought it would be special to bring someone back from his past. I searched long and hard and I think I found just the right person. Ladies, Gentleman and Jarmo put your hands together and welcome the woman that D lost his virginity to...........................














Be careful Journey, I hear shes single again and ready to mingle after breaking up with August 18th

[Tied-Up]

First of all, I want to mention that this thread seems a little redundant to me, since any time I'm responding to D on this board, it's a roast.  He makes it too easy for me.

What do you get when you have 32 men from Kentucky in a room?

A full set of teeth.



How does D initiate foreplay?

"Hey jon, you awake?"

[SLCPUNK]

Holy shit!!!

The last two posts were TRAGIC!!!

 

[SLCPUNK]

On this special occasion where we roast our "friend" D, I thought it would be special to bring someone back from his past. I searched long and hard and I think I found just the right person. Ladies, Gentleman and Jarmo put your hands together and welcome the woman that D lost his virginity to...........................

Well D thought for years that he had lost his virginity.....

Turned out years later it was not counted because it was a hanging chad......

[ClintroN]

that is just wrong

[D]

God damn that made my stomach turn, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, is that a small child under her dress?


Nasty

sad thing is Kujo jacks off to that picture


OK OK back to the roast.

[the dirt]

sad thing is Kujo jacks off to that picture


OK OK back to the roast.

Hey, you can't roast others during your own roast!

[N.I.B]

D is so ugly that....

- He was placed in a incubator with tinted windows after birth
- He killed the docter that pulled him out of his mom when he gazed upon his face

D is so stupid that....

- He thought a quarterback was a discount to a sports event

And i cant think of anymore at the moment cuz im tired as hell. All jokes D, nothing personal.

[SLCPUNK]

D is also the founding member of the Mr Miyagi fan club.

This is the poster he has right next to his bed, between Jon Bon Jovi and Kirk Cameron pin ups.

[N.I.B]

when D turned 8 he recieved a special card:

"Son, we are proud that you are special because you still have 12  teeth, 10 more than usual. don't ever gove up trying to be better than everybody else. we love you. Mr. and Mrs. D"

 

[MCT]

Donnie does haiku:

"Exuberance"

Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

"Remorse"

A painful sadness
Cain't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

"Drama"

Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazard Marathon
Starts at 9 O'Clock

"Beauty"

Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

"Mother And Child"

Crusted in boogers
Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
Only Mama loves

"Options"

Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can git on
Disability

[GypsySoul]

These quotes are from a topic started by D:? Tips On Being A Moderator

I have been elected a moderator over at www.2ksports.com

Damn it, unfortunately I cant ban People

There is a guy with over 6,000 posts who is number 1 in posts on that board who I absolutely despise

Talk about "pot calling kettle black"?

[Mr. Dick Purple]

Is this the bashing D thread?  , If so, can I say Bon Jovi sucks so D gets angry? 

[Kujo]

I was talking to D the other day about old television programs and I brought up Hee Haw. I was surprised to find out he didnt know what this show was. I later realised that in Kentucky they changed the name of "Hee Haw' to "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"

I stayed at D's house one time. One day he was out and I called him on his cell phone and said "I've got a leak in the kitchen sink". He said "Go ahead"

I could tell D was dating again because there was dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pick-up truck.

I was trying to talk D into going to see the new Batman movie but he said we couldnt go unless we got 16 more people. I asked him what the hell he was talking about and he said the sign at the theater says 17 and under not admitted.

[Tied-Up]

A normal response after D issues his pick-up line:

"I'm sorry, but I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable."



D spent longer than usual making his breakfast this morning.  It took him 20 minutes to make the orange juice because the label said "concentrate."



Comments heard from D's bedroom:
"Awww that's so cute."
"You have a pimple below your belly button, I'll get you some Clearasil."
"Does that come with an air pump?"