I've never owned an umbrella

[kathryn2662]

Well word of advice, if you ever decide to own one, dont open it up inside or you will have 7 years of bad luck?

thats if u break a mirror? ?

Also walking under a ladder

[Tj]

You can jump from high up and coast smoothly to the ground.

A recommended buy!

The higher the better. The lowest should be at least a 4 story jump. Don't panic if you don't feel yourself floating down right away, it'll happen............

Mary Poppins was no special effects - that was a good ole fashion quality made umbrella - they are hard to find but get a good one, and well - i'd recommend 6 stories to get the full benefits - its exhilirating, go try now!

A lot of people don't know this, but a smaller umbrella will? float even better than a big one.

In fact, just use a stick...

It's fun to carry a supply of umbrellas around with you wherever you go in the car, because when it rains you can jump out and give them to random pedestrians? You can get them from pound shops (I don't know if America has an equivalent of Britain's pound shops...?)

We tried giving out flowers one day instead (not in the rain). Some people were really happy and genuinely seemed to appreciate it, some were just a bit shocked/confused, whereas others - mostly vulnerable looking females - walked briskly in the other direction...especially when it was my turn to give some away, I found. Pretty much everyone accepts an umbrella though.

[SLCPUNK]

You can jump from high up and coast smoothly to the ground.

A recommended buy!

The higher the better. The lowest should be at least a 4 story jump. Don't panic if you don't feel yourself floating down right away, it'll happen............

Mary Poppins was no special effects - that was a good ole fashion quality made umbrella - they are hard to find but get a good one, and well - i'd recommend 6 stories to get the full benefits - its exhilirating, go try now!

A lot of people don't know this, but a smaller umbrella will? float even better than a big one.

In fact, just use a stick...

(I don't know if America has an equivalent of Britain's pound shops...?)

We do.

I usually buy all my sticks there.

[Sin Cut]

You can jump from high up and coast smoothly to the ground.

A recommended buy!

The higher the better. The lowest should be at least a 4 story jump. Don't panic if you don't feel yourself floating down right away, it'll happen............

Mary Poppins was no special effects - that was a good ole fashion quality made umbrella - they are hard to find but get a good one, and well - i'd recommend 6 stories to get the full benefits - its exhilirating, go try now!

A lot of people don't know this, but a smaller umbrella will? float even better than a big one.

In fact, just use a stick...

(I don't know if America has an equivalent of Britain's pound shops...?)

We do.

I usually buy all my sticks there.

My dog killed an umbrella

[SLCPUNK]

My dog killed an umbrella

I own a dog that uses and umbrella..........

[*Izzy*]

An umbrella killed my dog

  Izzy?

[SLCPUNK]

An umbrella killed my dog

  Izzy?

I'm guessing your dog failed to read the directions.............

[Rain]

My dog killed an umbrella

I own a dog that uses and umbrella..........

I guess it was made in China ... but only for exportation because everybody know that chinese eat dogs ! 

  Ok if you're looking for me I'm wainting outside ...   

[SLCPUNK]

First they buy IBM, then oil companies in south America, currently going after Big American OIL companies.....and now this........

The dog-umbrella market.

You heard it here first, those Chinese are going to rule the world!

[Tj]

An umbrella killed my dog

  Izzy?

  I'm sorry but this was the best one!

[Izzy]

First they buy IBM, then oil companies in south America, currently going after Big American OIL companies.....and now this........

The dog-umbrella market.

You heard it here first, those Chinese are going to rule the world!

Its insidious - the dog-umbrella market was the cornerstone of our domestic manufacture!

Well word of advice, if you ever decide to own one, dont open it up inside or you will have 7 years of bad luck

I wonder if thats stood up to scientific study...and how does one measure luck - is missing a train bad luck or life?

Who's to say....

[*Izzy*]

An umbrella killed my dog

  Izzy?

  I'm sorry but this was the best one!

Why are you sorry and it wasn't a joke 
 
Izzy 

[Tj]

I'm sorry 'cause the other guys seemed to try harder but yours was funnier?

If it really wasn't a joke...errr...aah don't toy with me, it was a joke...right?

and how does one measure luck - is missing a train bad luck or life?

Who's to say....

Yeah, luck's a bit of a pointless word. You can't really measure it, 'cause as you hinted at - I think - you can never know what the alternatives to the events you experience would have been if you had done one thing differently etc.

...Let's not forget it's basically ridiculous to suggest opening an umbrella could cause bad luck, and there's no reason we should give it any consideration whatsoever?

[Izzy]

...Let's not forget it's basically ridiculous to suggest opening an umbrella could cause bad luck, and there's no reason we should give it any consideration whatsoever?

I dare u to open one indoors

[Tj]

...Let's not forget it's basically ridiculous to suggest opening an umbrella could cause bad luck, and there's no reason we should give it any consideration whatsoever?

I dare u to open one indoors

  I double dare YOU! Double!!

[R4tfink]

I dare u to open one indoors

Preferrably if there is still water on it and there is a live electricity cable near you.

[Tj]

Now hold on a minute here, let's just do a control test first. I'll carry out the basic act of opening an umbrella in the middle of a tidy, safe room, then we'll have me monitored for 7 years. After that, we'll start playing with the variables. You can be the one who tests the effects of water and live electricity, and you report back with the results 

[R4tfink]

You can be the one who tests the effects of water and live electricity, and you report back with the results?

Aha, well this is it, cus ive already tested it over the course of the past 9 years, and the results were a little shocking to say the least!
However, im not willing to divulge the details as it will all be reported in the book im releasing in the coming months about the experiment.

[Tj]

You can be the one who tests the effects of water and live electricity, and you report back with the results?

the results were a little shocking to say the least!

Aha....ha....ha........ha

I think I'll wait for your book to be published and satisfy my curiosity that way 

[*Izzy*]

It was a joke?

I don't have an umbrella but I walked under a ladder indoors just now, well it was a small step ladder so I could only fit my head under but I think it the job

Any other things I can do to curse myself?
 
Izzy?