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I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Topic: I Need Some Advice URGENT! (Read 8096 times)
Dave_Rose
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I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
on:
June 07, 2005, 07:35:17 PM »
ok I can say what ever I can here without holding back now I am currently dating some one but I know I am falling for someone else there has always been something there and I've known this other girl for some time now, these past couple of months I've got closer to the other girl we've been hanging out n she is everything I could want in a girl.
I wanna tell her how I feel but I dont know how I feel, but I am to scared of ruining my friendship, she is just the female version of me, everytime one of us leaves the room some one will say why dont we get together cos we suit down to the ground.
But I didn't realize how much I like her now until a few weeks ago and its even harder now when I have a girlfriend I feel like such an ass hole being with her and falling in love with this other girl.
With the other girl I feel more comfortable we do coupley things watch movie's together, go out together, sit and talk for hours on end, I just wanna tell her how I feel but I just don't wanna ruin things, I am just dont want her to say no to me I suspose my biggest fear is rejection.
I've been getting to know her for a year and if you were in my college class we are just an attomic bomb waiting to explode, cos everybody thinks we like eachother I mean I do but I am not very sure about this, With the girl I see now its just different she is not for me I think I just like being in a relationship but I just cant help the way I feel.
On Monday with the girl I think I am falling for I came over and we went to watch a film in her room it was just felt right if you get me, but I couldnt bring my self round to cheat on some one its very harsh but there is something in the back of my mind that tells me its gonna happen.
I know somebody on this board must have gone through and D gives some kickass advice.
Thank you people
Excuse the mistakes if any you know what I mean any way
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #1 on:
June 07, 2005, 07:48:53 PM »
dude, i was in your spot for a long time. There was this chick i was into (still am i guess) all through high school and she liked me but we never admitted it to each other and get this, shes the biggest GNR fan on the planet.
N' when i was with my ex from 00' till just recently , i would see this other chick at some partys n' shit and we knew we were perfect and it was always on my mind
dude, i really cant give you much advice except that what you are goin' through is really mind fucking :hihi:and sooner or later, you'll know what to do. Just dont cheat, ya cant do that
But the thing is, you dont wanna be afew years down the track like me wondering what would have happend if i broke the silence...
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Dave_Rose
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #2 on:
June 07, 2005, 07:55:09 PM »
I will say something but I just know how to do it! Thats my problem
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #3 on:
June 07, 2005, 09:16:02 PM »
thats the thing......it'll come about
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #4 on:
June 07, 2005, 09:38:06 PM »
Quote from: Dave_Rose on June 07, 2005, 07:35:17 PM
ok I can say what ever I can here without holding back now I am currently dating some one but I know I am falling for someone else there has always been something there and I've known this other girl for some time now, these past couple of months I've got closer to the other girl we've been hanging out n she is everything I could want in a girl.
I wanna tell her how I feel but I dont know how I feel, but I am to scared of ruining my friendship, she is just the female version of me, everytime one of us leaves the room some one will say why dont we get together cos we suit down to the ground.
But I didn't realize how much I like her now until a few weeks ago and its even harder now when I have a girlfriend I feel like such an ass hole being with her and falling in love with this other girl.
With the other girl I feel more comfortable we do coupley things watch movie's together, go out together, sit and talk for hours on end, I just wanna tell her how I feel but I just don't wanna ruin things, I am just dont want her to say no to me I suspose my biggest fear is rejection.
I've been getting to know her for a year and if you were in my college class we are just an attomic bomb waiting to explode, cos everybody thinks we like eachother I mean I do but I am not very sure about this, With the girl I see now its just different she is not for me I think I just like being in a relationship but I just cant help the way I feel.
On Monday with the girl I think I am falling for I came over and we went to watch a film in her room it was just felt right if you get me, but I couldnt bring my self round to cheat on some one its very harsh but there is something in the back of my mind that tells me its gonna happen.
I know somebody on this board must have gone through and D gives some kickass advice.
Thank you people
Excuse the mistakes if any you know what I mean any way
First, break things off with the girlfriend. To be honest with you, although you haven't actually committed the physical act of cheating, you are cheating on her in your heart, which is, from a woman's perspective... much worse. If my husband were to ever cheat on me, I would rather know that it was purely a physical thing, and not a mental or emotional thing. Then, I would casterate him, but at least I would know it was a physical and not an emotional thing.
But, I'm beginning to digress.
Break things off from the girlfriend. You are doing her no favors, nor yourself, by staying in a relationship if your mind and heart are on someone else. She deserves better than that.
Then sit down and talk to your friend, and find out her feelings.
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SLCPUNK
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #5 on:
June 07, 2005, 11:36:41 PM »
Maybe the longest sentence ever............
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Dave_Rose
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #6 on:
June 08, 2005, 02:49:22 AM »
This is helping just need a bit more help I was up till 2 am talking to my friend I opened up he says I should break things off and tell this girl how I feel I found a easier way to do it "if you had been in stuck a relationship that you didn't want to be in but liked someone else what would you do" and I hope she says who I'll then should go its "you" and then we'll see what happens. I am just gonna have to get it over and done with or its gonna eat me alive. I will def regret it it I dont.
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Dave_Rose
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #7 on:
June 08, 2005, 12:55:04 PM »
I just need a little more help, I dont know what direction to go into :< Boy this sucks and I had an arguement with my g/f today she was wondering why I have been so erm how to put just hiding really and I still couldn't tell her. This officially sucks. HELP!
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #8 on:
June 08, 2005, 01:08:15 PM »
Just do it and get it over with. Ask that what would you do if you were stuck in a relationship bullshit question to the girl you like. See what she says. And break off with your poor girlfriend.
Your problem is your thinking too much about this, if you dont watch out you might lose your shot with her as well since your girlfriend seems already down the tubes and non fixable.
Dump the poor girl , and if you never try you'll never know with this friend girl that you like and hang out with. Go for the gold if you get Silver you get Silver. But yeah dude just do it.
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #9 on:
June 08, 2005, 01:27:56 PM »
Quote from: Dave_Rose on June 08, 2005, 12:55:04 PM
I just need a little more help, I dont know what direction to go into :< Boy this sucks and I had an arguement with my g/f today she was wondering why I have been so erm how to put just hiding really and I still couldn't tell her. This officially sucks. HELP!
If you're not really in love with your girlfriend, then it's time to have "the talk" with her. Nobody likes this uncomfortable talk, but it has to be done for the benefit of both of you. She already suspects that something is wrong, so you should go with that. If you don't know how to start the conversation, you could ask her a question. Your question could be, "You know how I've been acting weird lately?"? When you break it off with her, make sure that you speak to her in person. The phone isn't always a good idea, because she could hang up on you before you have a chance to explain yourself.? Make sure the two of you have privacy when speaking, because the last thing you want is to be interrupted.? Tell her how you feel about her first. If you care for her, which obviously you do, tell her. Let her know that it's been hell for you to make this decision. And that's why you're being honest, because she means a lot to you.
Don't expect her to take it well.? She may not like you for awhile, but that's just her grieving process, which she's entitled to. But stick to your decision.
«
Last Edit: June 08, 2005, 03:26:18 PM by journey
»
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Mr. Dick Purple
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #10 on:
June 08, 2005, 03:07:48 PM »
This happened to me a while ago plese my advice is do not think to much or you'll loose your chance trust me it will haunt you all your life if you just throw it all away and tell everything you have in your heart you'll feel better I'll tell you.
It doesn't matter what happens at the end, cause friendship is always more meaningful than a relationship I know that, so if both of you are really good friends you'll overcome this kinda problem if it doesn't work, if it does work you just gain a excellent partner.
Never cheat thats for sure!
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #11 on:
June 08, 2005, 05:16:00 PM »
First thing, U better be 100 percent sure.
Some times we think the grass will be greener on the other side only to find out that it isnt. once you make the decision it is too late.
U have to really evaluate this but you have to be fair to your girlfriend.
I know a lot of guys who will tell the other woman they are now single just to see how things go, then if the other woman isnt interested they just go back to their current GF no harm no foul.
Then if the new girl is interested they then break up with the current GF. Not a fair strategy though.
If you are unhappy and another girl stole your heart, to me that means the other girl never truly had your heart.
Don't waste time with someone you dont feel is the one, If it isnt working out, get out of it and move on with your life.
Either way you will be better off in the long run.
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Dave_Rose
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #12 on:
June 08, 2005, 05:45:49 PM »
Thanks people, I had a long discussion with my best friend till about 2 in the morning and he said the question me pretending it was advice for him...
I said, who do you like more and there is your answer
And then he told and me thats what I've gotta do, I just dont wanna be alone if you get me thats why this such a big chance, I felt a bit funny seeing the girl today, but we were just giving each other looks on the bus journey in the morning.
I am gonna say something to her wednesday she lives round the corner to me I am gonna go see her and tell her everything, and if it does happen I wouldn't expect my current g/f to talk to me for quite some time.
The girl I like at the moment we both had a exam today she was going home after I tried looking for her everywhere just to say goodbye, I am seriously have got it for her but if any body has anything else to say then it would be great thanks I will tell you if something happens on here.
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EEEERRRR Little boy
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #13 on:
June 08, 2005, 05:57:33 PM »
Go for it Dude, Good Luck, but remember once you've take your choice don't think that you have to go back to your old GF, once again Good luck Dude
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #14 on:
June 08, 2005, 06:09:12 PM »
Quote from: *SLCPUNK* on June 07, 2005, 11:36:41 PM
Maybe the longest sentence ever............
What? Were you saying something? Look, I don't speak Spanish.
I think its all been said already but just be positive. Its not fair to lead your current girlfriend on if she isnt the most important person to you. Just be careful about how you go about this because eventually this other girl will start to think that if you dumped one girl already, than you might do the same to her eventually.
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Dave_Rose
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #15 on:
June 09, 2005, 12:00:34 PM »
Well thanks guys if any one else has anything else to say please do u lot have been a great help I am gonna tell her on very soon!
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EEEERRRR Little boy
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #16 on:
June 10, 2005, 01:22:17 AM »
testdrive her first.
no really, if you like the other girl more, you should make a move or you would just keep on wondering "what if". And if it don't work out you can always try to get yoour old girl back
Seriously. When I was with my ex I had something going on with this girl, we were both in a unhappy relationship and the biggest fear for me was that I'd en up alone if I break with my current. So I lasted 3-4 months (with calls and messages with this other girl) and I kept thinking "how can we be so much alike?". Then I hit the bar and I had three gorgeous girls hitting on me and I ended going with the flow and kissing with them all. I could've left with one of them but decided to go home. I thought there must be something wrong with the relationship if I act like that and after another big fight few days from that I sait it's over.
I did meet the girl few times, ended up in bed and she broke my heart after that. It didn't really go as I planned, but even if alone I felt better than with my ex. But I did miss her.
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
«
Reply #17 on:
June 10, 2005, 02:00:57 AM »
some times a relationship is your routine, so when u break up it messes your routine up which is why u dont really love the chick but u still feel miserable and lonely without her cause u are just use to her being around.
If you truly love a girl and they are the one, I believe u have a higher tolerance to the opposite sex and wont cheat.
if your relationship isnt all that great or where u are suppose to be, other women catch your eye and its harder not to cheat.
if u dont love who u are with move on, it will hurt and suck for a couple months but by being with the wrong one u miss out on better things.
dump her and move on regardless of what happens, change leads to great personal growth.
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SLCPUNK
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #18 on:
June 10, 2005, 02:08:38 AM »
Quote from: D on June 10, 2005, 02:00:57 AM
dump her and move on regardless of what happens, change leads to great personal growth.
True.
But it isn't always easy. Change can hurt, but it'll be better for you in the long run.
Suck it up, and do what is good for YOU.
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Re: I Need Some Advice URGENT!
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Reply #19 on:
June 10, 2005, 02:33:04 AM »
I gotta friend on the board, wont mention his name cause I dont wanna tell his business but he had a girlfriend and wasnt happy so he left her and now he is with a girl who makes him the happiest guy on earth
so go for it.
u really have nothing to lose.
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