Another love/relationship question

[Mattman]

Yep, it's time for another question about approaching girls.  But I usually get some pretty good viewpoints whenever I'm on HTGTH, and now that the message board is back up, I might as well ask around.

There's this girl at my university that I really like.  We were in the same Drama lab group all year, I talk to her on MSN, and I've talked to her a few times outside of class.  Now you know where we stand.  The thing is, she has a boyfriend.  BUT, this guy doesn't even go to the university or even live in this town.  Essentially, he's a guy she knew from back home.  But she still refers to him as her boyfriend.  This one night when I was working with her on a project until 3 AM (and where we had a pretty involved chat), she was still waiting around for a phone call from him.  So it seems as if there's still something there.

So my question is, do I ask her out, or should I wait until they break up and go on living my life in the meantime?  There's only a couple more weeks left in the semester before everybody goes home anyway.

[loretian]

Well, I'm not the best person to be giving this kind of advice, but I'd just ask her.  I mean, unless you want to maintain a regular friendship with her, you might as well just ask her and find out since you're running out of time.  If you're happy being just friends though, or would pick that over "nothing", then I would wait until she officially breaks up, or at most, make yourself available to her.

[nesquick]

Kiss her.

[Dave_Rose]

I'd tell her how you feel man, I know its hard to do so and its easier said then done right but the boy friend is the wall in the way and he doesn't seem to be around ever the way you put, kiss her, tell how you feel go for it!

[D]

there is nothing worse than a girl with a hangup over an ex.

dude let me tell u, its not a great situation to be in.

A lot of times in these situations the guy has lots of control over the situation.

So even if they were broke up, if she still has that torch, all he'd have to do is call and sweet talk and she'd melt

ive seen it happen over and over and over.

So u gotta be careful with girls like that, i know your heart is in the right place, but girls with hangups are a sure fire way to a broken heart.

ive seen it happen and its happened to me


now u can persevere, be a good friend and be there for her and later down the road it pay off and she fall for u

but how much time and energy are u willing to invest?

getting a girl fresh out of a meaningful relationship is bad news most of the time

im not gonna sugar coat it or be a yes man to u.

u must be careful with a girl like this.

i dont want u to get your heart broke

but u need to find out where that relationship stands etc. and just how deep her feelings run for this dude.

before u let yourself fall completely for this chick, id be investigating.

before u go home, tell her how u feel and let her know she has an option, a way out and that she doesnt have to stay with that guy who probably has another chick wherever he is at.

just be cautious.

[SLCPUNK]

They are all nuts...be careful.....

[Dr. Blutarsky]

Keep it on a friendship level and drop a hint or two along the lines of " if you diddn`t have that boyfriend........" If she doesn`t drop you any hints she might be into you, move on to someone else.

[Mattman]

Thanks for the advice everyone.  I really don't know if this girl sees me as anything more than a friend, but the more I think about it, the more I think that it's better just to go for it.  Life is too short to waste it on waiting out things like this.

Before I do, though, I think I will enquire a bit more about her boyfriend.  My main advantage in this case is that during the school year, she can see me whenever she wants, whereas that's not the case with her boyfriend back home.  But somehow, I get the feeling that it might be better to try doing this at the beginning of a semester rather than the end.  After all, if she says yes to me now, in two weeks university will be done and she wouldn't see me on a regular basis until September.  Waiting until then to ask her out might give me the upper hand in the "convenience" department.

[Cubb]

dont ask her out cus u mite end up embarisin urself an she mite not talk to u the same way again, instead wat i think u shud do is(an this is only my opinion do watever u want) go out together(as friends) an pretend to get drunk an kiss her an if she doesnt like it nxt day u can apoligise an shel say its ok cus u wer drunk an didnt no wat u wer doin but if she does like it ur fine!i dnt no if any of u have ever read the x-men but jean still wud have had it away wit wolverine if he tried even if she did like scott cus they wer gud friends too,so go 4 it! an let us knw how it works out!

[D]

id wait dude

honestly two weeks isnt long enough, she will use that as an easy way to let u down if she isnt interested.

Id wait till next September, then if u still feel how u feel go for it.

also things may change with her and her BF at home.

2 weeks is just long enough to get your heart broke even if she did agree to something right now.

[matt88]

Nah don't do anything man. If u'd typed stuff like she got a little flirty with ya or opened up abit to u i'd say, say something to her but reading what u typed it doesn't seem like she's interested.

Plus if u say something to her u could make things between u 2 a little uncomfortable and u could lose her as a friend if that's any loss to u?

This is my 2 cents..it ain't really an opinion man but it seems like doom if u ask her out.

[Mattman]

Nah don't do anything man. If u'd typed stuff like she got a little flirty with ya or opened up abit to u i'd say, say something to her but reading what u typed it doesn't seem like she's interested.

Plus if u say something to her u could make things between u 2 a little uncomfortable and u could lose her as a friend if that's any loss to u?

This is my 2 cents..it ain't really an opinion man but it seems like doom if u ask her out.

Yeah, you're probably right.? I guess I'll take D's advice and reassess the situation in September.? That seems like the wisest decision.

If nothing else, at least this situation caused me to download Bon Jovi's "She Don't Know Me".  That song kicks ass!

[im rickjames bitch]

im terrible with girls. does any1 remember when i made the girls suck topic?  but id just ask her out. it seems likes your good at talking to her and if your good looking shes yours. i wish i had the guts to talk to girls 

[Dot]

I?ve always thought that if I like a girl and she has a boyfriend, but he?s not at our same school/college,I would still hit on her. why? because there?s no boyfriend to watch her or to want to kick your ass....so go for it!

[Mattman]

I?ve always thought that if I like a girl and she has a boyfriend, but he?s not at our same school/college,I would still hit on her. why? because there?s no boyfriend to watch her or to want to kick your ass....so go for it!

lol

The thing is, though, as time goes on I'm thinking that she just hasn't really noticed me in that way.  In this sense, asking her out would be more like throwing open the possibility of a romantic relationship.  I heard somebody say that girls tend to know within 30 seconds of meeting a guy whether they're attracted to him or not.  But I've also heard about girls that gradually fell for guys over prolonged periods of time.  I guess that's what I'm going for here...I'm really just looking for a way to really impress her.  So far I haven't come up with anything, short of revealing to her that I'm actually Superman and have saved her life multiple times.

im terrible with girls. does any1 remember when i made the girls suck topic? but id just ask her out. it seems likes your good at talking to her and if your good looking shes yours. i wish i had the guts to talk to girls

Don't sweat it, man.  Once you get to university (I seem to recall you saying you were in high school), you get way more opportunities to talk to chicks.

The thing is, I'm basically just an average looking guy - shaggy-haired and very skinny.  I keep on planning to bulk up and get a little muscular, but I lifted weights for five months every day a while ago and there was almost no noticable difference.  But I have this feeling that if I were to get a little stronger, she might be a little impressed.  Hell, it can't hurt.

[D]

HAHAHA bon jovi's "She Dont Know Me" is such a great love song

think of it as "Hearts Breaking Even" from the These Days record

dude u are young, trust me, in no time you are gonna be starting a thread on this board talkin about how u found the love of your life.

Keep searching and dont get discouraged or give up and it will happen for you.


Remember my "can a girl and guy be just friends" thread?

See, u were friends and u fell for her People keep proving my theories.

Like I said, you can take the plunge and tell her but u are giving her a very easy let u down excuse.

Girls love easy excuses u know, "i have a bf, i just want to be friends, i dont have time for a relationship, all that bullshit"  however only have 2 weeks left is the most perfect easy let down line ever.

Also, i dont know how it is over there bro, but i know when i was younger, summer time was the absolute shit and worst time to have a girlfriend.

enjoy your summer, dont let a broken heart fuck it up.

summers are magical.

[ClintroN]

5 year relationship down the fuckin' drain, just last week for me!!!

stay the fuck away from em'!!!!

you'll be writting songs like Axl in no time

 

[im rickjames bitch]

I?ve always thought that if I like a girl and she has a boyfriend, but he?s not at our same school/college,I would still hit on her. why? because there?s no boyfriend to watch her or to want to kick your ass....so go for it!

lol

The thing is, though, as time goes on I'm thinking that she just hasn't really noticed me in that way.? In this sense, asking her out would be more like throwing open the possibility of a romantic relationship.? I heard somebody say that girls tend to know within 30 seconds of meeting a guy whether they're attracted to him or not.? But I've also heard about girls that gradually fell for guys over prolonged periods of time.? I guess that's what I'm going for here...I'm really just looking for a way to really impress her.? So far I haven't come up with anything, short of revealing to her that I'm actually Superman and have saved her life multiple times.

im terrible with girls. does any1 remember when i made the girls suck topic? but id just ask her out. it seems likes your good at talking to her and if your good looking shes yours. i wish i had the guts to talk to girls

Don't sweat it, man.? Once you get to university (I seem to recall you saying you were in high school), you get way more opportunities to talk to chicks.

The thing is, I'm basically just an average looking guy - shaggy-haired and very skinny.? I keep on planning to bulk up and get a little muscular, but I lifted weights for five months every day a while ago and there was almost no noticable difference.? But I have this feeling that if I were to get a little stronger, she might be a little impressed.? Hell, it can't hurt.

isn't it weird how guys are attracted to skinny girls but girls are attracted to muscular guys. and guys like nice girls (well i do anyway) but girls only go for assholes. there the complete opposite to us. im skinny aswell and im really tall. do girls like tall people?

[im rickjames bitch]

the only reason i talk to girls is because i want to go out with them. i pretend to be freinds with them and hope that one day they will ask me out. when girls want to be freinds with guys. does that mean they want to go out with the guy?

[Queen of Everything]

WE AREN'T THAT BAD GUYS!!!!

I am sure NO MATTER WHO IT IS!!!.. they will be FLATTERED by you having interest in them!! One thing about guys is they are thinking "I will ruian the friendship if she rejects me" WRONG.... if a girl rejects you, she wants to STAY friends, not COMPLEATLY stray away!!!

good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  [/glow]

GO FOR IT!!!:love: