Chinese Democracy review from AMG All Music Guide...a farce

[RichardNixon]

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:tyavqj6wojta~T1

Review by Stephen Thomas Erlewine

It took a long, long time for Guns N Roses to get their follow-up to Use Your Illusion I and II into the stores. First, guitarists Slash and Izzy Stradlin, generally regarded as the band's musical force, up and left the band, and it took a long, long time to find  replacement guitarists.  Axl spent years and years with a never-ending lineup and made several years of recordings. Then scrapped it. Then they recorded another album. Then scrapped it. They were going through album titles, too — it was called 2000 Intentions, and then Caco-Rouch Soup, all the sessions and the turmoil was whittled down into one very long, very bad album called Chinese Democacy. Part of its weakness stems from two perennial GN"R problems: for a metal band they sound, well, limp, and in Axl Rose they have the worst frontman in the history of rock. These two things plagued even their hits, but Slash at least gave the band some ideas. Without him, the band is left to flounder, and Rose, who already dominated the band's personality, not only has to provide the bravado, but he has to give it direction — which is likely why it took so long for this mess to get released. Rose doesn't come up with any new musical ideas, apart from slight hints of Staind and emo on the ballads, but the album doesn't suffer from recycled musical ideas, since they were already doing that on Use Your Illusion. No, it suffers from an utter lack of form and direction, from the riffs to the rhythms, and a surplus of stolen ideas. "There was a Time" cops the opening of Steve Miller's "Take the Money and Run," "Silk Worms" plagiarizes the Beastie Boys' "Pass the Mic" down to rhyming "y'all" with "y'all" (but Rose adds a whole lotta "motherf*ckers"), while the title track, "Chinese Democacy" borrows from several rap songs, highlighted by Rose getting lyrics wrong. And this points out the biggest problem of Chinese Democacy — Rose is running amuck, flattening down the production into a grey sludge, then writing inane lyrics that are shocking in their banality.

Since Rose has ingratiated himself with Hollywood, inexplicably getting Thora Birch to concede to being berated to in the video for "Madacascar" and French kissing Halle Berry in the video for "There was a time," maybe he's not such a bad guy in person, but on record he's a mean, vindictive, hateful idiot, spewing undirected bile at undeserving targets. Here, a prominent target seems to be Britney Spears, who unceremoniously dumped the dude after an affair that lasted less than a week, since she wasn't all that thrilled that he revealed her pubic hair grooming on the Howard Stern show (what a guy!). Now, he's hurt and ranting about how she broke his heart, unaware of his own culpability in the affair. But that's par for the course for Rose, who stumbles through life without realizing the consequences of his actions, then whines about how nobody understands him. Here, he complains about being picked on in high school, not realizing that his blustering aggression makes him a bully (and that's not even accounting for how he unwittingly incited violence and destruction at a Philly gig in 2002. Then, he complains several times about radio and MTV playing the same old bands, willfully ignoring that he's whored himself out to MTV numerous times and that his band received their radio breakthrough by paying to get their songs played. He invokes icons callously — "ease your pain/like a melody from Kurt Cobain" — most notably on a boneheaded cover of Paul McCartney's "Ebony and Ivory" " turning it into a Staind song with a Speak & Spell on the bridge ("B-I-Z-K-I-T. Say it") and adding insult to injury by misspelling McCartney's name in the credits. And this isn't even counting the embarrassing Apple plug in the liner notes, or the Fight Club reference in the artwork, the obviousness of which suggests that Rose would be one of the brainwashed legions chanting "his name is Robert Paulson" instead of thinking for himself. Like before, some of this could have been palatable if the music had a fraction of his anger (no matter how misguided it is) or had some energy to it instead of just being murky emoting. But since the music has no melody, hooks, or energy, all attention is focused on the clown jumping up and down and screaming in front, and long before the record is over, you're left wondering, how the hell did he ever get to put this mess out?
 

[Dave_Rose]

What complete and utter bollocks

[jarmo]

The interesting thing is that they're probably gonna use it whenever it's time to do a real review.

How many reviewers will be able to get past the "there's no Slash" and "it took too long" issues?



/jarmo

[iMac]

Wow, some people really do have too much free time on their hands.  just kidding!

I guess this really does go to show how dedicated we are, that someone would change the text to GNR stuff coz they know we'll get all miffed.

He is right though, Limp Bizkit really do suck

[RichardNixon]

The interesting thing is that they're probably gonna use it whenever it's time to do a real review.

How many reviewers will be able to get past the "there's no Slash" and "it took too long" issues?



/jarmo

I do like Stephen Thomas Erlewine's reviews. I agree with him a lot of the time. I think he was a bit harsh in his review of Results May Vary, but he does have a lot of good points.? I'd give RMV 2.5 stars, not 1.5.

But when Chinese Democacy does come out, he'll be the first one to slam it. No matter how good the album is, the people's minds are made up. Thet're going to listen to the album with the expectation for it to suck. I hated the Tony Martin era Sabbath albums for the longest time, simply because it did not sound like the Ozzy and Dio stuff I was used to. I go back and listen to those albums now with an open mind and I now like them a lot.

But as Tommy has said, (paraphrasing) "You can't pay attention to what others think."? I think the best we can hope for is a really good album, and despite bad reviews, a positive fan response. In the years to come once the dust settles, Chinese Democacy will be regarded as a classic.

Of course, this is all speculation. Maybe the new GN'R will suck, or maybe Stephen Thomas Erlewine will be swept off his feet. Only a new album and time will tell.

[Naupis]

How many reviewers will be able to get past the "there's no Slash" and "it took too long" issues?

Probably about the same amount that were able to listen to Velvet Revolver and go "well there just not the same without Axl."

[killingvector]

this is a review of Redhat's latest album if i'm not mistaken. Yeah Redhat sucks.

[F*ck Fear]

I honestly don't give a fuck what these cunt's say as long as I think the album is good,they can suck a fart out of my asshole

[HoldenCaulfield]

Caco-Rouch Soup? Chinese Democracy borrowing from rap songs? Silk Worms plagiarizes the Beastie Boys??

[Insomnis]

THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT LIMP BIZKIT/FRED DURST!

The names where changed to be GN'R related.

lock this thread, it's all bullshit.