HTGTH posters GN'R outrageous story (fun topic)

[*Izzy*]

all get mass maried and then eat the mucus shit out of the Kangaroo's pouch.

  Izzy?

[Tied-Up]

edited to add:  Oops.... *Izzy* and I must have posted right at the same time... so... since my post is better... or at least, less gross... let's keep mine!   

there are two Axls? regular Axl and Evil Axl Bot, D also feared Tied UP would reach Jon so he also cloned an Evil Jon Bon Jovi Bot

so the Bon Jovi bot has the real Axl captive for the face transplant, Bon Jovi Ice stopped Tied up

thats how the story has played out so far
anyway back to the story

It should also be noted that during the course of this story it has been revealed that bon jovi is also Vanilla Ice... who, upon closer examination, was actually a woman.? So... now the REAL jon bon jovi is actually a woman that posed as Vanilla Ice when people stopped buying bon jovi albums.? He now prefers to be called Joni Vanilla.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

NOW... back to the story... for those of you who forgot what happened last time....

they are ready to sneak up and stop everything when Tied up crashes through the roof in her Penis shaped space shuttle.

Tied Up GDU and Blue Cut stop the surgery and they untie Axl

Axl thanks them and tells them for saving him he will let them hear Chinese Democracy only if they......................

remove the alien cockroach that is embedded in, and controlling Jon Bon Jovi aka Joni Vanilla's mind.?

Since they are now with the evil bon jovi bot, they have to move fast to capture the real Jon aka Joni.? But first, they dismantle the evil bon jovi bot, and they lanch the pieces of the bots into space, in 419 tiny space ships, going out in all different directions, so that these pieces will never reunite to reform this evil bot.

Now that the enemy bon jovi bot has been destroyed and completely eliminated, NEVER to be heard from again, Tied Up and the others head out to get Jon aka Joni.? They arrive at Jon aka Joni's Secret Lair, which is actually a hollowed out volcano, when.........

[*Izzy*]

edited to add: Oops.... *Izzy* and I must have posted right at the same time... so... since my post is better... or at least, less gross... let's keep mine!

You posted nearly an hour after me?

remove the alien cockroach that is embedded in, and controlling Jon Bon Jovi aka Joni Vanilla's mind.?

Since they are now with the evil bon jovi bot, they have to move fast to capture the real Jon aka Joni.? But first, they dismantle the evil bon jovi bot, and they lanch the pieces of the bots into space, in 419 tiny space ships, going out in all different directions, so that these pieces will never reunite to reform this evil bot.

Now that the enemy bon jovi bot has been destroyed and completely eliminated, NEVER to be heard from again, Tied Up and the others head out to get Jon aka Joni.? They arrive at Jon aka Joni's Secret Lair, which is actually a hollowed out volcano, when.........

Mr. Jovi himself, who is mounted on the horse that Timothy previously escaped on, emerges from a dark cave on the side of the volcano. Jon decides he has been insulted by Tied Up too many times so he planned to exact revenge on her. But before Jon can do anything Kujo tackles him furiously jealous that someone else is on the horse when....

  Izzy?

[Jamie]

.......Sting returns from the grave and reveals he has joined with Bon Jovi because he is pissed off that Axl will not tell anyone that it was really super intelligent aliens with their face where their ass should be and their ass half way up their spine and a blank orange canvas where their face should be that recorded every previous Guns n Roses albums. Just as Sting is about to tell the world about Axl having nothing to do with recording every GnR album to date (except CD) something strange happens......

[Tied-Up]

Tied-up appears, and she apologizes (it's difficult for her, you see, she is a woman, after all) for missing the *Izzy* post and forever altering the outcome of future events.

Just as quickly as she appeared, she vanished, and then Sting says......

[*Izzy*]

I am a big stupid stupid head and explodes leaving his entrails all over Jon. *Izzy* then appears and accepts Tied Ups apology and then vanishes. Suddenly Bon Jovi....

  Izzy?

[N.I.B]

announces the release of his new album (which D immidietly buys after the announcement) called chinese democracy. Upon the end of the announcment (after D bought the album)...

[August 18th]

announces the release of his new album (which D immidietly buys after the announcement) called chinese democracy. Upon the end of the announcment (after D bought the album)...

bon jovi reveals that a large part of the album consists of collaborations with snoop dogg and 50 cent

[Tied-Up]

"furthermore," bon jovi continues, "if you play the album backwards, you can hear the sounds of me having sex with a horse." 

Kujo is appalled to learn that jon bon jovi aka joni vanilla had sex with his idol, the horse, and promptly kills jon aka joni.

Tied Up and Kujo decide that they will have to get rid of the body quickly, so that the australians don't attempt to salvage him in their experiments, so they feed jon's aka joni's carcass to a shark.   After the shark consumed jon aka joni.........

[Kujo]

.... Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, appears and attempts to gut the shark in a last ditch effort to save Jon/Joni. Just as it appears that Irwin might succeed, Crocodile Dundee sneaks up behind Irwin and knocks him out with a 5 gallon drum of Fosters ( ). Dundee has held a personal vendetta against Bon Jovi as he feels that they prevented Men At Work from being the true stars that they should have been. The shark flees into the ocean when suddenly........

[Mr. Dick Purple]

Slash emerge from the water with his guitar and try to hit bon Jovi's ass, even though Bon Jovi scape from slash, Mr. Dick Purple ambush him beat the crap out of Bon Jovi and then D appears ...

PS: sorry if I dunno how to make a great history 

[August 18th]

sitting on the back of the horse that swallowed chinese democracy, wearing nothing but pink leather underwear.? D, obviously still drunk from the night before, calls out "yiii-haa!!", then proceeds to announce to the schocked crowd that a naked jarmo had been found drunk and passed out the night before in his hotel room. on the floor were several ripped pictures of jack osbourne, and on the bathroom mirror jarmo had spray painted "he doesn't even look like me!". the hotel manager, who decided to call the police because of the damages, told the police that all of this could be traced back to axl rose, seeing as jarmo's obvious insanity was a direct result of the ten year wait for chinese democracy, which D' horse had swallowed. the police shows up on axl's doorstep, and says...

[Tied-Up]

"we're really sorry that this thread got bumped up again and jarred you from your reclusive getaway yet again.  We're going to find the culprit, this August 18th person, and put him before a firing squad."  With that, the police left Axl's house, and Axl retreated back inside, confident that he wouldn't be bothered again, so that he could actually get to work on the long awaited Chinese Democracy. 

Meanwhile, the police, while on an August 18th hunt, find D, who was still wearing pink leather underwear.  The police do a strip search of D, and start trying on his pink fishnet stockings, when.......

[Where is Hassan Nasrallah ?]

then Tied-Up takes her clothes off and ...

nah im kidding, i let you guys play together 

[Jamie]

"we're really sorry that this thread got bumped up again and jarred you from your reclusive getaway yet again.? We're going to find the culprit, this August 18th person, and put him before a firing squad."? With that, the police left Axl's house, and Axl retreated back inside, confident that he wouldn't be bothered again, so that he could actually get to work on the long awaited Chinese Democracy.?

Meanwhile, the police, while on an August 18th hunt, find D, who was still wearing pink leather underwear.? The police do a strip search of D, and start trying on his pink fishnet stockings, when.......

The cast of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy arrive and express their extreme shock and horror that not only are the police committing a disastrous fashion crime by wearing pink underwear and stockings (which are ssssssssoooooooo 1985) but that these horendous (sp) garments do not even fit the officers............

[Mr. Dick Purple]

Boots so the officer call for back up and look for a new ...

[Markus Asraelius]

Barbie doll so that the young girls of today's society have a better role model to idolize. But, then madonna shows up with a BB gun and...

[Elrothiel]

shoots Kurt Loder, who had randomly driven round to D's house for a random interview for the Top 10 Reasons To Wear Pink Fishnet Stockings....

[Dont Try Me]

As Kurt falls on the pavement he confessed: "aaaahhh....... I'm shot!! I'm shot!!.............why........lordie lord......why?.....I just wanted to do an interviewwwww...." * Loder tries to stamp foot while laying down*.

D heard the gunshot outside and decided to take a little look: He saw Loder laying down covered with blood.....

Loder: "DDDDDDDDD yessss........you're here...save me.....save me.....I'm hurt"
D: "Who the fuck are you man? And what's that note you have in your hand?"
Loder: "ermmm.....nothing....just.."
D: "Well......what's on that note you homo?"
 
D grabbed the note out of Kurt's hand...Kurt started to cry
The note said as follows in rhyming sentences:

[Backslash]

Georgie Porgie pudding pie,
Blew His load in his girlfriend's eye.
When the eye was all dried shut,
Georgie fucked his one-eyed slut.