HTGTH posters GN'R outrageous story (fun topic)

[Mattman]

you will be sent to the same penal colony in Alaska where I sent all you punks in the press who want to start shit by printin' lies instead of the things I said.  You know, things weren't working under the old government system....the Supreme Court was cramping my governing style, Congress didn't like the industrial direction my economic plan was taking.  So I want to announce here that from now on, I'm assuming the title of all-powerful President For Life.  My first act as your unquestioned leader shall be...

[Izzy]

....to execute Mick Wall at Kerrang and burn St. Louis to the ground, and no one can't stop me except.....

[D]

bill o reilly, o reilly started the overthrow W Axl Rose campaign and the masses have revolted against axl's government forcing axl to flea the country and go to china, while in china axl..............

[RichardNixon]

found the Holly Grail, drank from it, and became immoratal and...

[Evolution]

managed to delay CD for all eternity...or so he thought because....

[D]

being immortal axl, now can wait until technology even further advances and give a whole new generation of fans who will? know nothing of the old GNR time to grow up, just as music has become computerized and more lame than it is now, axl will pull the biggest musical revolution since the beatles and will unite the entire universe.  all of a sudden axl wakes up and realizes everything that has happened so far was one far out maniacal dream, after realizing he had been dreaming axl............

[RichardNixon]

Ask Bea Arthur to marry him, to which she says...

[D]

no way axl! u are cute and all but im much too old to urinate in a kitty litter box and one smack from u may shatter my old frail face, i do however have a friend who is interested in u, angelina jolie meet axl rose to which axl............

[RichardNixon]

says "I like older woman, so I'm not interested." Axl then goes and get a shovel and digs up Martha Washington and the two marry. However, on the wedding night...

[insupportofaxl]

Axl storms off and decides to retreat to his computer and logs on to gnr unofficial websites and sees heretodaygonetohell and starts reading threads.? Axl starts to..............



edit to go with flow of story

[RichardNixon]

realize that he has been giving his fans nothing but blue balls and tells the suits that the mastertapes are on the way. However, a problem arises when Axl gets a bad case of Irritatable Bowel syndrome and...

[LeftToDecay]

..the Reset button of his Nintendo Gamecube appears to be malfunctioning. ...

[insupportofaxl]

Axl throws his controller against a wall and the button becomes unstuck.  After taking Pepto Bismol for his IBS, Axl decides to send Jarmo Lukonnen a PM and says the following:

Dear Charmo,

I don't know if I pronounced your name right, but I don't drive a bus and I am really Axl.


Upon seeing this PM, Jarmo replies

[AdZ]

"You're banned"

[RichardNixon]

Jarmo then decides that he has had it with Axl and takes down the Here Today, Gone to Hell Board. He hooks up with Brett from Vanhalenforums.com and becomes a hard care VH fan, forever abandoning GN'R. Many longtime posters at the heretoday board enter therapy because they don't know what to do without the board, until...

[Miz]

they discover something called " sunlight, a previously unknown phenomenon to these pathetic nerds who have nothing better to do than...

[TIPSY]

think they know what is going on in the world of GN'R and Axl Rose so

[badapple81]

.. Izzy decides to turn his PC off, and make his long awaited trip to LA.. and finally fulfill his promise to break into Axl's house and steal CHinese Democracy.. he arrives outside Axl's mansion and begins to plot his masterplan.. Izzy brings D just incase Axl calls Earl for reinforcements.. and Gunner Down Under also assists with his army of kangaroos? ..

[D]

izzy gets the master copies, I knock out Earl and gunner's kangaroos have the rest of the band and help occupied, izzy is almost home free when out of nowhere axl tackles izzy! axl is just about to pound izzy into submission when out of the corner of his eye axl sees the most gruesome terrifying sight ever!


SLC is anally molesting axl's sheep landscape thingy he had flown in, yes folks SLC doesnt care if they are alive or made of grass, a sheep is a sheep and he is one dirty sheepfucker! axl is caught off guard! gunner rides by in his kangaroos pouch and clubs axl and takes the tapes and rides off in his kangaroo's pouch!

they almost get away with this until.......................

[Doc Emmett Brown]

Izzy sees Richard Fortus sitting on Axl's couch watching tv.  Izzy starts to cry and confesses to Fortus that he is his Number #1 fan.  Izzy & Gunner forget all about the Master tapes, and start dancing to NSYNC music with Fortus.  Axl imprisons D and SLC in his basement, and tells them they wont be freed unless...