Major GN'R news from CNN (a joke)

[RichardNixon]

U.S. National--AP

Sunday, Augest 8, 7004

Archaeologists who have been exploring the great lost city of Los Anglos which fell into the Pacific Ocean some 300 years ago have discovered a vault which contains over 300 compact discs as well as several master tapes, which are now confirmed as belonging to the legendary singer W. Axl Rose. The tapes are aparently Axl Rose's long fabled Chinese Democracy album. One of the discs, titled "Chinese Democracy: final version", is apparently the album that the legendary singer had envisioned as being his magnum opus. The disc is listed as being finished on Augest of 2004, two months before the legendary singer was committed to the Santa Barbra institute for the insane.

"It's a real shame that this album never saw the light of day. We have been listing to all the tapes in the lab, and all I can say is, this shit rocks. It's way better than AFD and the Illusion albums. I believe that if this album had been released some 500 years ago, it would have brought the world together. World War III, IV and V may have been avoided, the great famine of 2009 may have been avoided, and we may have defeated the Klingons earlier."

It is unclear when the tapes, or Axl Rose's envisioned final version of the Chinese Democracy album will be released. Axl Rose the XXXIV has released a press release stating "I believe that my ancestor was not yet finished with the album before his unfortunate commitment. I have listened to the tapes and have concluded that more work needs to be done. But I can assure you, that it is only a hair's breath from being completed. All I can say now, is that 'soon' is not the word."

While the legendary singer was equally applauded and appalled in his own lifetime, he has since been honored as one of the greatest artists off all-time. in 2070, shortly after Mr. Roses's death, his face was added to Mt. Rushmore, replacing the image of Abraham Lincoln.

AP

[anarchy]

I always said this would happen. But did you listen?!

[anythinggoes]

hmmm interesting do i take the piss or could it be a reality hmm

[Christos AG]

U.S. National--AP

Sunday, Augest 8, 7004

Archaeologists who have been exploring the great lost city of Los Anglos which fell into the Pacific Ocean some 300 years ago have discovered a vault which contains over 300 compact discs as well as several master tapes, which are now confirmed as belonging to the legendary singer W. Axl Rose. The tapes are aparently Axl Rose's long fabled Chinese Democracy album. One of the discs, titled "Chinese Democracy: final version", is apparently the album that the legendary singer had envisioned as being his magnum opus. The disc is listed as being finished on Augest of 2004, two months before the legendary singer was committed to the Santa Barbra institute for the insane.

"It's a real shame that this album never saw the light of day. We have been listing to all the tapes in the lab, and all I can say is, this shit rocks. It's way better than AFD and the Illusion albums. I believe that if this album had been released some 500 years ago, it would have brought the world together. World War III, IV and V may have been avoided, the great famine of 2009 may have been avoided, and we may have defeated the Klingons earlier."

It is unclear when the tapes, or Axl Rose's envisioned final version of the Chinese Democracy album will be released. Axl Rose the XXXIV has released a press release stating "I believe that my ancestor was not yet finished with the album before his unfortunate commitment. I have listened to the tapes and have concluded that more work needs to be done. But I can assure you, that it is only a hair's breath from being completed. All I can say now, is that 'soon' is not the word."

While the legendary singer was equally applauded and appalled in his own lifetime, he has since been honored as one of the greatest artists off all-time. in 2070, shortly after Mr. Roses's death, his face was added to Mt. Rushmore, replacing the image of Abraham Lincoln.

AP

Ok, now THAT was funny...

[Timothy]

U.S. National--AP

Sunday, Augest 8, 7004

Archaeologists who have been exploring the great lost city of Los Anglos which fell into the Pacific Ocean some 300 years ago have discovered a vault which contains over 300 compact discs as well as several master tapes, which are now confirmed as belonging to the legendary singer W. Axl Rose. The tapes are aparently Axl Rose's long fabled Chinese Democracy album. One of the discs, titled "Chinese Democracy: final version", is apparently the album that the legendary singer had envisioned as being his magnum opus. The disc is listed as being finished on Augest of 2004, two months before the legendary singer was committed to the Santa Barbra institute for the insane.

"It's a real shame that this album never saw the light of day. We have been listing to all the tapes in the lab, and all I can say is, this shit rocks. It's way better than AFD and the Illusion albums. I believe that if this album had been released some 500 years ago, it would have brought the world together. World War III, IV and V may have been avoided, the great famine of 2009 may have been avoided, and we may have defeated the Klingons earlier."

It is unclear when the tapes, or Axl Rose's envisioned final version of the Chinese Democracy album will be released. Axl Rose the XXXIV has released a press release stating "I believe that my ancestor was not yet finished with the album before his unfortunate commitment. I have listened to the tapes and have concluded that more work needs to be done. But I can assure you, that it is only a hair's breath from being completed. All I can say now, is that 'soon' is not the word."

While the legendary singer was equally applauded and appalled in his own lifetime, he has since been honored as one of the greatest artists off all-time. in 2070, shortly after Mr. Roses's death, his face was added to Mt. Rushmore, replacing the image of Abraham Lincoln.

AP

  thats the funniest shit in along time.

[NickNasty]

It is unclear when the tapes, or Axl Rose's envisioned final version of the Chinese Democracy album will be released. Axl Rose the XXXIV has released a press release stating "I believe that my ancestor was not yet finished with the album before his unfortunate commitment. I have listened to the tapes and have concluded that more work needs to be done. But I can assure you, that it is only a hair's breath from being completed. All I can say now, is that 'soon' is not the word."

Classic, absolutely classice. I will give this one an A + 

[crazycanadian]

  Fuk that was great  :rofl:I can see it happing for some reason 

[Dave_Rose]

Good stuff people

[The Estranged MrFlashbax]

"we might have defeated the klingons earlier"

 

[ClintroN]

shit like this will only cause more rants

i had a laugh but..

[ccorn69]

  :rofl:good laugh :rofl:a shit belly hurts now

peace 

[Lord Kayoss]

In 7004 the Axl Roses have only spawned to the 34th?  They must've lived to be about 150 each.

[slave2thegrind]

That was hilarious...good post

[Izzy]

"It's a real shame that this album never saw the light of day. We have been listing to all the tapes in the lab, and all I can say is, this shit rocks. It's way better than AFD and the Illusion albums. I believe that if this album had been released some 500 years ago, it would have brought the world together. World War III, IV and V may have been avoided, the great famine of 2009 may have been avoided, and we may have defeated the Klingons earlier."

 

Classic!

I wonder how Axl reacts when he read's stuff like this?

So funny