The Worst Rock Stars Ever: #7 - Axl Rose

[anarchy]

This is a pretty funny article, and if you regularly read stuff from this site you will know not to take what they say too seriously.

As countless episodes of ?Behind the Music,? untold numbers of gritty rock and roll documentaries and thousands of pages of pretentious music magazine long-form road interviews have drilled into our brains time and time again, being a rock star is a job. A tough one, at that. Sure, it?s a job that involves quite a bit more traveling, fucking and drinking than any other job (with the possible exceptions of ?pilot? or ?pirate?), but it?s still as soul-crushing a vocation as any other. As there would be in any profession, there?s bound to be certain percentage of rock stars that just plain suck at it.

This list is not based upon flash-in-the-pan annoyance value alone; if it were, it would be filled with easy choices like Fred Durst and Chad Kroeger. Many of these figures, in fact, might be considered ?Rock Legends? by the types of people who are prone to using terms like ?Rock Legends.? The rock stars listed here have earned their places in the annals of crappy rock star lore for various reasons; some are monumental failures, some are unforgettable jerks, and some have seemingly dedicated their lives to destroying any possibility that the words ?rock and roll? will ever be associated with any sort of artistry or merit.

10.  Johnny Rotten
9. Shaun Ryder
8. Lenny Kravitz
7.  Axl Rose

Short-tempered, alcoholic jerks are often drawn to jobs which give them free reign to abuse people. Short-tempered, alcoholic jerks who can screech like speared bush pigs, however, are blessed with the attractive option of becoming hard rock singers. In this profession, they can not only abuse people, but they can get international attention for it. As long as they?re able to hold a band together, that is. Axl Rose, unfortunately, was bad enough that he couldn?t even convince a group of barely-functional junkies to hang out with him. Given the promise of virtually unlimited money, can you even imagine how difficult it would be to scare off junkies? ?Hang out with this asshole, junkies, and you?ll be up to your gills in high-quality horse for life.? To a junkie, that is an overwhelmingly attractive proposition. The breaking point, apparently, is when the asshole in question starts writing songs with gigantic string sections. You couldn?t keep a real rocker next to a string section for all the opium in Afghanistan.

    Lowest Point - He scared off Buckethead, for Christ?s sake.

    Mitigating Factor ? At least he didn?t start a band with Scott Weiland.

6. Liam Gallagher
5. Steven Tyler
4. Morrissey
3. Ted Nugent
2. Bono
1. Jobriath

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2291

 

[JustUsOwls]

I hate Something Awful now. I used to visit all the time. Then I started noticing them bashing GNR, Axl, and Velvet Revolver so I just stopped going.

[anarchy]

I hate Something Awful now. I used to visit all the time. Then I started noticing them bashing GNR, Axl, and Velvet Revolver so I just stopped going.

That's kind of a shit reason to leave.

[ccorn69]

um... fuck them! Axl rocks and Axl's songs with strings fuckin rocked,

peace

[Axl_owns_dexter]

They never really make fun of Axl's talent, they just bash the type of person he is.  But, they make it funny and underneath it I think they are fans. 

[Dave_Rose]

How the fuck could the say that about Axl??? GN'R saved Rock n' roll for fuck sake 

[Walapino]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

this was funny 

[Eeebs]

At least they posted a picture of Axl in his hot pants  

Axl is bad?  Who cares... that is what makes him so good!  Oh yeah!

[AdZ]

Well, at least morrissey was lower down than him.

Otherwise I might have to start shooting some people.

[Gunner80]

What did Bono do to get so high on the list?

[matt88]

What did Bono do to get so high on the list?

Yeah what the fuck is with that

[Ted Nugent]

Steven Tyler, Ted Nugent and Axl are "crap" rock stars?  Who is worse?  The wannabe journalists who write this or the losers who read it?

[horsey]

axl a drunk omg ! h a h a no not axl.thats funny.
cheers axl
                       

[anarchy]

I'm hope you all noticed that the entire site is laced with sarcasm.

[horsey]

damm alcoholics lol.

[Ted Nugent]

I'm hope you all noticed that the entire site is laced with sarcasm.

That's the easy excuse for when your jokes aren't funny.

[noonespecial]

LOL--that was funny!!!
Actually scaring off Buckethead was pretty funny, you gotta admit! 

[The Estranged MrFlashbax]

man.. i love axl but that was the funniest shit i read since anarchy's "bucket nun-chukked robin" bit.. 

 

[oneway23]

Hillarious stuff....Next week we'll see Weiland write in a scathing response to the VR related comment.......

[Izzy]

? ? Mitigating Factor ? At least he didn?t start a band with Scott Weiland.[/b]

LOL