Contraband review from the Sludge

[Falcon]

http://www.metal-sludge.com/Review2004VelvetRevolver.htm

VELVET REVOLVER "Contraband"
by Ozzy Stillbourne
 
Cover: 6 Axl Roses out of 10.
The cover comes in 4 different colors in hopes the diehards (morons) will buy all 4, even though they all have the same songs. It's a chick silhouetted with a gun, kinda like a James Bond thing. By the way, the term velvet revoler is another word for cock. Now you know.

Booklet: 6 Snakepits out of 10.
The center folds out to include a spoon, a lighter, and a small bag of crack. No, just kidding, that stuff comes with the vinyl version! Anyway, all the lyrics are here so you can count how many times Weiland says fuck. There are a few pages of photos with random lyrics written here and there. A page full of thanks and credits. The photos are kinda of boring. I think they should have included everybody's mug shot. Weiland has enough he could have his own book full of them by now. Otherwise, nothing worth really looking at too much.


Songs: 7 Stone Temple Pilots out of 10.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect here with all the hype and everybody doing pullups on these guys dicks like they're the next Guns N' Roses or something, which they're not. Overall, I enjoyed the songs after a few listens, though after a while Weiland's drug references get a little old. It seems like in every song he's talking about drugs, which might not be surprising, but it gets a bit old. Sorry I'm not strung out on heroin so I can't exactly relate to some of what Weiland is singing about. Speaking of drugs, there must have been some serious drug taking going on when the lyrics were written. Half the time I have no idea what the fuck Weiland's singing about. For example, here's some of the lyrics for the first song, "Sucker Train Blues."

"Somebody raped my tapeworm abortion
Come on motherfuckers and deliver the cow
Brain and body melting while there's roaches multiplying
It's the alien infection it's the coming of Christ"

Uh, drugs are bad, mmmkay? Whatever, I guess it's interesting enough. You definitely have no idea what the next line is going to be, though you can almost bet on the fact that whe word "fuck" is used somewhere in almost every song. And as if it's not hard enough to figure out what he's singing about, in a few songs he does the "sing through the bullhorn" thing he did in STP. Great, thanks. The music itself is decent enough. "Fall To Pieces" has a classic Slash sound and if you've heard the first single "Slither" then you'll have an idea of what the rest of the songs sound like. Some sound like STP, and some sound like Scott Weiland doing GNR songs while singing about drugs and saying "fuck" a lot. They're all in the same vein.


Comments: Does it live up to the hype? No. Is it a decent rock record. Sure. It's not reinventing the wheel or anything ground breaking but it's good enough to check out. It sold 250,000 units in it's first week and debuted at #1, which means it's already a success regardless of what I say
 

[younggunner]

Does it live up to the hype? No. Is it a decent rock record. Sure. It's not reinventing the wheel or anything ground breaking but it's good enough to check out.

To me thats what CB is in a nutshell.

[Falcon]

Does it live up to the hype? No. Is it a decent rock record. Sure. It's not reinventing the wheel or anything ground breaking but it's good enough to check out.

To me thats what CB is in a nutshell.

I believe their goal was to make a modern hard rock record and go play it for the fans, reinventing the wheel was never a goal.

Off topic, check out the Monster Magnet review on the same site, great stuff..

[younggunner]

Off topic, check out the Monster Magnet review on the same site, great stuff..

Will do...! I have just recently discovered Monster Magnet. They are an awesome rock band. I didnt know they were around for so long.

Are you a fan and if so can you recommend some of their albums that I should maybe buy???thanks

[Doc Emmett Brown]

That was an honest and humorous review  

He did voice a lot of my feelings including:

Songs: 7 Stone Temple Pilots out of 10.

Overall, I enjoyed the songs after a few listens,

Sorry I'm not strung out on heroin so I can't exactly relate to some of what Weiland is singing about.

Half the time I have no idea what the fuck Weiland's singing about.

The center folds out to include a spoon, a lighter, and a small bag of crack. No, just kidding, that stuff comes with the vinyl version!

I had a good chuckle at that  

Anyway, all the lyrics are here so you can count how many times Weiland says fuck.

still chuckling  

[Stupid Head]

Does it live up to the hype? No. Is it a decent rock record. Sure. It's not reinventing the wheel or anything ground breaking but it's good enough to check out.

To me thats what CB is in a nutshell.

I believe their goal was to make a modern hard rock record and go play it for the fans, reinventing the wheel was never a goal.

Off topic, check out the Monster Magnet review on the same site, great stuff..

Slash: "I want to be the guy who spearheads the next rock n roll movement. Ive done it before, so I want to do it again."

By the sound of this, it was a goal.

[younggunner]

Yea I remember that and theres a bunch of more quotes like that in other interviews. They were always talking about bringing back real rock and how they are gonna give rock a face again.

[dave-gnfnr2k]

I agree with a lot of this review.
Like I said after first hearing the songs on mtv.
Who wants to hear a bunch of 40 year olds singing about drugs.
I also agree the lyrics are lame.

They should have let izzy write the lyrics.

[PhillyRiot]

What great rock albums don't say "fuck?"  

[Falcon]

Who wants to hear a bunch of 40 year olds singing about drugs.
I also agree the lyrics are lame.

I believe Scott's around 36.

They should have let izzy write the lyrics.

A safe bet would say if Izzy's lyrics were used, Scott wouldn't be in the band.  

Now that wouldn't be smart move, would it?

I also agree the lyrics are lame.

Scott's lyrics are an aquired taste for sure.  They're not for someone who needs/wants their meanings spelled out for them, they're for the listener who enjoys defining personal meaning within their own interpretation.

[matt88]

I agree with a lot of this review.
Like I said after first hearing the songs on mtv.
Who wants to hear a bunch of 40 year olds singing about drugs.
I also agree the lyrics are lame.

They should have let izzy write the lyrics.

Do you honestly ever have anything good to say about this band Dave?

If your so disenenchanted with the album and VR don't post

[dave-gnfnr2k]

I agree with a lot of this review.
Like I said after first hearing the songs on mtv.
Who wants to hear a bunch of 40 year olds singing about drugs.
I also agree the lyrics are lame.

They should have let izzy write the lyrics.

Do you honestly ever have anything good to say about this band Dave?

If your so disenenchanted with the album and VR don't post

I can post anywhere I please, this is not Nazi Germany.
As for do I ever have anything positive about this album, I guess you did not read my review (i gave it a 6/10 and said LTA is a great song.)

[matt88]

I agree with a lot of this review.
Like I said after first hearing the songs on mtv.
Who wants to hear a bunch of 40 year olds singing about drugs.
I also agree the lyrics are lame.

They should have let izzy write the lyrics.

Do you honestly ever have anything good to say about this band Dave?

If your so disenenchanted with the album and VR don't post

I can post anywhere I please, this is not Nazi Germany.
As for do I ever have anything positive about this album, I guess you did not read my review (i gave it a 6/10 and said LTA is a great song.)

I do not wish to start an argument Dave. It's to early in the morning for it.

All i'm tryin to say is, i don't see the point of posting MOSTLY negative stuff about the band and the album.

And yes i did read your review. If you really don't mind this album you certainly dont show it

[dave-gnfnr2k]

The album is average at best, and i like a few songs on the album.
If the album was great then I would have said it but since its not, then what should I lie and say I like the album?

I was just pointing out, i agree with much of what was said in the review.

[matt88]

Ok i gotcha thats settled

[the dirt]

The album is average at best, and i like a few songs on the album.
If the album was great then I would have said it but since its not, then what should I lie and say I like the album?

I was just pointing out, i agree with much of what was said in the review.

You actually gave the album a better than average review. Average (meaning mean) would have been a 5

[Acquiesce]

I think the review is pretty fair. I admit, I had to laugh when they talked about Scott's lyrics. It's not as funny as their review of Gene Simmons' new cd,  though.  

[Syd Vega]

Off topic, check out the Monster Magnet review on the same site, great stuff..

Will do...! I have just recently discovered Monster Magnet. They are an awesome rock band. I didnt know they were around for so long.

Are you a fan and if so can you recommend some of their albums that I should maybe buy???thanks

Regarding Monster Magnet - You got to check out "Powertrip", that's their best and most rockin' album so far, "Dopes to Infinity" is great as well, the earlier stuff is much more psychedelic but cool as well !

[Dizzy]

What great rock albums don't say "fuck?"  

For starters, how about all of Black Sabbath's albums, all of AC/DC's albums except Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, and all of Ozzy Osbourne's albums except Down to Earth.    


And for the record, the word "fuck" is not really used that much on Contraband.  It is on 5 of the 13 songs, so it isn't used any more than it was on Appetite for Destruction; 4 of AFD's 12 songs included the word "Fuck".

[younggunner]

Regarding Monster Magnet - You got to check out "Powertrip", that's their best and most rockin' album so far, "Dopes to Infinity" is great as well, the earlier stuff is much more psychedelic but cool as well !

I just bought their newest album. It fukin rocks.
Which album sounds most like the songs unbroken and space lord?