Okay. Bear with me on this. Obviously, this is a joke, although it's all true.
The timeline of my life over the past 4 years seems to parallel the Gn'R timeline. When I take action, Axl is a few steps behind. I also have had a sign from God backing this up.
Mid-2000: I leave the world of financial advice and get into the radio world. My ducks are in a row, I've got a new focus, and plans kick into high gear.
Mid-2000: Axl announces that Buckethead and Brain have joined the band. New songwriting likely begins here. The ducks are in a row, there's a new focus, and plans kick into high gear.
Things are relatively quiet for awhile.
September 2001: "Finishing touches" on my radio demo begin. I am promoted to executive producer of a radio network. Things are moving now! Hope/confidence is high.
December 2001: Gn'R play two shows in Vegas. "Finishing touches" start on CD. Excitement level is high.
June 2002: I begin to co-host a national financial radio infomercial. Exposure is high. Finishing touches continue with stuff from this show.
August 2002: Gn'R begin their Chinese Democracy tour. Exposure is high. AT HTGTH, we are shitting ourselves with excitement.
November 2002: Setback! I am moved into a different building to manage 2 recently purchased stations. My schedule is destroyed. Work on the finishing touches grinds to a halt. My plan must now restart.
December 2002: Setback! Gn'R tour aborted. At HtGTH, we are still shitting ourselves, only now with frustration.
Time passes with no real change.
February 2005: I get off may ass and finish the demo, finalize and burn copies. Time and management issues prevent me from turning the finished product over to potential employers.
February 2005: Rumors abound that CD is finished, but legal isues with Geffen prevent Axl/Sanctuary from turning finished product over to the label.
March 2005: I have a dream in which I get a note in the mail. The front just says "Michael, I hate you." The note is signed "God". On the back, God explains that CD will not be released until I get my demo into the hands of a few other radio stations and also get rid of my porn collection.
That's it. When I get off my ass and get his demo out, CD will come out. God said so.
Sorry about the delay, guys.
Hey, at least we can stop blaming Axl!! The responsibility is squarely on my shoulders.
Don't worry. My demo will be in the mail "soon".
/Mike
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