I'm going to write a book about Axl. I'm looking for thoughts, feedback, etc.?

[HamsterDemocracy]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.) And then I realized: I should write a book! And then I realized: What does George Bush have to do with this? Nothing. I guess it was just random coincidence.

But instead of making it totally by-the-numbers factual (which is really lame and boring), I thought mixing fiction with reality would be awesome! It would make people draw comparisons of my work to Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich) and Bret Easton Ellis (Lunar Park)! I'd be declared a new genius and make millions of billions of dollars.

So I set out on forming a central plot for the book. Let me know what you think before I start writing it tomorrow: "THE SOMEWHAT EXAGGERATED TRUE STORY OF GUNS N' ROSES, VOL. 1: 'THE ADVENTURES OF AXL ROSE VS. THE ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISTS.'"

PLOT OUTLINE:

Eddie G. Oodguy is a nice good guy from the Bronx. All his life he has loved the band Guns N' Roses. One day he is confronted by the local gang leader Max B. Addy. Max tells Eddie that if he doesn't watch his back, he's going to kill him some time. The only way to save his life is if he murders midterm election candidate Sen. Joseph L. Conway from Michigan. He wants him dead because Conway sent Max's dad to prison for statutory rape sixteen years ago. He raped a circus clown named Jules Bartholemew (who turns out to be the father of Robin Finck later on, which pays off when Finck catches up with Max and beats him to a pulp for being the son of the guy who raped his dad!).

So Eddie embarks on a journey to Michigan to kill the Senator when his train is taken over by a group of Islamic terrorist. The organization is known as The Black Claw and they take Eddie hostage. However, one other person is on the train: W. Axl Rose. Only he can save Eddie with the help of his band of lovable misfits: Slash (in the movie adaptation I'm hoping he'll be played by William H. Macy), Robin "No Relation to Batman" Finck, and Eddie Kaye Thomas, whom you all know as the guy who banged Stifler's mom in AMERICAN PIE. He's Axl's new drummer because Frank got the measles.

Axl puts on his sombrero and grabs a whip and begins fighting the terrorists. It's DIE HARD on a train! So it's basically UNDER SIEGE 2 with Axl Rose!

I thought I'd incorporate some Eastern mysticism into the plot so I'm going to have this creepy Asian guy appear in visions to Axl, like at one part Axl is taking a bathroom break after killing a guy and all of a sudden the creepy Chinese guy is like, "YOONG SANG YEEEE" and Axl is all freaked out at first, but then the guy is like "My name is Frank, I am your spiritual guide." He gives Axl the power of wingless flight and Axl also gets super health, and every time he's injured the health bar decreases a bit. I figured this would be a great way to lead into a future videogame adaptation, which would just mean more money for me! When Axl is bleeding if he hits CTRL + SPACE on a miniature keyboard the Asian guy appears out of nowhere and gives him bonus health, which recharges every four hours.

I'm not sure why Axl would be on a train yet or why he'd want to save Eddie, but I'm hoping to make it a supernatural thriller and it turns out that Axl is spiritually linked to Eddie. In the end it turns out that the Senator is secretly in charge of the entire terrorist organization, and when Axl finds out he kills all the terrorists and uses his super powers to fly to Michigan and confront the Senator at his home. The Senator is armed with machine guns and Axl fights him to the death. Right before the climactic finale Axl says, "Support THIS bill, you psychopathic b!tch!" and rams a proposed anti-abortion law down the Senator's throat until he gags to death.

Halfway through the book Chris Pitman makes an appearance as the gifted religious guru who heals Axl after he's been shot by an Islamic terrorist with a shotgun. Axl is dying and Pitman saves him. Then they write a new GN'R song called "Shotgun Blues II." They perform it on the train and Pitman has a five-minute solo. It's so painful that it makes all the terrorists' ears explode. Axl and Pitman high-five each other and Pitman walks off into the sunset with his synth machine.

Any thoughts? Comments?

I'm going to make it 284 pages long and real exciting. Also I'll throw in random flashbacks about how GN'R were formed so that it qualifies as a "true story" to some degree. Like in the middle of a fight scene between Axl and a guy who looks like Kim Jung-Il suddenly there'll be a chapter called "SLASH MEETS AXL" and it shows how Axl met Slash at a seedy bar in LA in like 1985 or something and Axl is like, "Hey, wanna be in a band?" and Slash is like, "Sure! Way cool! Let's rock!" and then it flash-forwards to the fight scene again right as Axl is totally kicking the bad guy's butt.

[pasnow]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me:no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose!  (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!! 

[HamsterDemocracy]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!! 

Thanks for the support.  Here I am asking for feedback on an idea that's very personal to me and you laugh? 

[GNRBABY]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!!?

Thanks for the support.? Here I am asking for feedback on an idea that's very personal to me and you laugh??

Good luck, but there are lots of books about Axl. I know someone who has written a script. PM if you want to discuss

[HamsterDemocracy]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!! 

Thanks for the support.  Here I am asking for feedback on an idea that's very personal to me and you laugh? 

Good luck, but there are lots of books about Axl. I know someone who has written a script. PM if you want to discuss

Yeah, but I can guarantee none of them have flying Asian spiritual gurus, fundamentalist Islamic terrorist organizations or Chris Pitman synth solo showdowns.

[GNRBABY]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!!?

Thanks for the support.? Here I am asking for feedback on an idea that's very personal to me and you laugh??

Good luck, but there are lots of books about Axl. I know someone who has written a script. PM if you want to discuss

Yeah, but I can guarantee none of them have flying Asian spiritual gurus, fundamentalist Islamic terrorist organizations or Chris Pitman synth solo showdowns.

yeah, well since you shit on me in the other thread 5mins ago, don't bother PMing me. Just bug off. Thanks

[HamsterDemocracy]

I have been going through a creative dryspell. Then, this morning, I turned on the TV and saw George Bush on a news show, and suddenly it hit me: no one has ever written a book about Axl Rose! (Except for a few biographies that are out there.)

I only made it this far before I burst out laughing!! 

Thanks for the support.  Here I am asking for feedback on an idea that's very personal to me and you laugh? 

Good luck, but there are lots of books about Axl. I know someone who has written a script. PM if you want to discuss

Yeah, but I can guarantee none of them have flying Asian spiritual gurus, fundamentalist Islamic terrorist organizations or Chris Pitman synth solo showdowns.

yeah, well since you shit on me in the other thread 5mins ago, don't bother PMing me. Just bug off. Thanks

NOOOOO! Please don't do this to me! I'm sorry dude! YOU CAN'T do this to me! I really want to hear more about the screenplays that have been written about Axl, they may be the key to my novel! Don't you see?!?! Without your private message I will be worthless, my talents will be squandered! Please gnrbaby, don't alienate me!  I'll do anything, just tell me what you want!

[MCT]

I always thought you were worthless anyway.

And what talent?

[Demon Wolf]

I thought that was pretty damn funny. Oooh, and change Finck's role. Can't forget the day when Baby Jesus (AKA Robin Finck) descended from the heavens to aid Axl Rose in his struggle for...well, more popcorn or whatever the plot was.

[Captain P?l]

I thought that was pretty damn funny. Oooh, and change Finck's role. Can't forget the day when Baby Jesus (AKA Robin Finck) descended from the heavens to aid Axl Rose in his struggle for...well, more popcorn or whatever the plot was.

are you saying they wanted steven popcorn adler back in?!