Closure

Getting closure is a bitch. I don't get that too often with things and that may or may not catch up to me. I was watching 6' Under and that shit effected me. I am now reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead because of it, and because of issues I have that aren't resolved.

I was thinking about unresolved issues, death, and my own fear of missing things too much. I need to learn to let go of things. I get the idea of appreciating the things and the people around me that are close to me, and I do. But I have a fear of dying (that is getting to be abnormal) and missing out on things.

GN'R play a small part of it too actually. A very, very small part of it (to put it in perspective). But regardless they do. I realized that the album that we are all waiting for, isn't just because we long for a great album, and the return (whatever that means) of Axl. I realized, it is about getting closure to something. The new album represents something that occurs all the time for people. For some older people, it may be that they haven't seen their kids and grandkids for what seems like forever. Their are different properties here, and when this album drops, there will be a sense of closure that few ever get. Resolution.

The Tibetans study their whole lives, to except and embrace death. To learn to love those around us, and let go when it is their time. To not miss and mourn for them. To let go of regrets and unresolved issues. I know I have a lot to learn, and am currently having a hard time dealing with this. It is kind of cool that Chinese D has a place in this short trip we are apparently on. And closure to this one piece will be very rewarding. Anything that might come after that will just be an extra bonus. But we will have already had closure. ANd with that, a little more peace.

...fuck me, I'm losin it.