Bonds could be done for season

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. -- There was no joy on Barry Bonds' face Tuesday morning as he hobbled into camp on crutches nearly a week after his third surgery on both knees since the end of last season.
On one hand, an obviously despondent Bonds said it might now be months instead of weeks before he's able to return from last Wednesday's surgery to clip pieces of torn meniscus from his right knee, his second procedure done on that knee in less than two months.

On the other hand, the Giants left fielder said he might not be back at all because of what he perceives as constant media attacks on his personal life that "has caused pain to me and my family."

About the knee, Bonds said he would take his time and follow a rehab schedule set by trainer Stan Conte and the Giants.

"Right now I'm just going to try and rehab myself to -- I don't know -- hopefully [I'll be back] next season, hopefully the middle of the season -- I don't know," Bonds told several reporters outside of the Giants clubhouse at Scottsdale Stadium. "I feel bad for the guys because I want to be out there for them. But three knee surgeries in four months ... I'm tired, guys, I'm just tired."

Later, as he walked to his car in the parking lot, he told MLB.com that he was upset, clearly alluding to published reports of steroid rumors and the leaks of grand jury testimony in the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative (BALCO) case. "I might not be back at all," he said.

"I'm just going to go home and try to enjoy my family. I'm sick and tired of seeing them so upset," said Bonds, who has two years remaining on his current contract. "I'm done. Finished with it. Certainly, I'll be gone after 2006."

Conte said on Monday that it should take about six weeks for Bonds to rehab from the last surgery. Bonds also had surgery to clean his left kneecap just after the end of the 2004 season, which he finished with 703 lifetime homers, 11 behind Babe Ruth's 714 and 52 behind Hank Aaron's all-time record of 755.

Conte also intimated that Bonds rushed his rehab and that this time, "We're not going to put him on the field until the knee is ready. Not when he's ready, but when the knee is ready."

On Tuesday, Conte didn't back off his original assessment, saying after an examination and rehab session that Bonds was progessing nicely.

"His knee looked the way we expected," Conte said. "I suspect he'll progress as knee patients do. It looks OK. He went through the regular rehab six days out of surgery."

The Giants are scheduled to open the season in San Francisco against the Dodgers on April 5. It will be the start of Bonds' 20th Major League season and for the first time, Bonds undoubtedly won't be in the Opening Day lineup.

If everything goes according to plan on Conte's schedule, Bonds probably won't be able to play until May 1. The primary concern now is getting Bonds back on the field permanently this season, without further setbacks or interruptions.

Bonds told reporters on Tuesday that had followed the Giants program before surgery, adding that he was upset by reports that he didn't.

"I didn't appreciate the way it was stated," Bonds said. "I'm going to try and let myself heal. I'm 40 years old. I'm not 20 or 30. I've got a lot of work to do to try and get back to these guys. I don't know if I'm going to be back here."

Bonds sat at a picnic table leaning on a crutch, flanked by his 15-year-old son Nikolai, whom he insisted be framed in a shot being taken by a video photographer.

"Can you get my son in here, too, just not on me?" Bonds asked. "So you guys can show the pain you're causing my whole family."

"You wanted me to jump off the bridge; I finally have jumped," he added. "You wanted to bring me down, you've finally brought me and my family down. You've finally done it. So now go kick a different person. I'm done. I'll do the best I can and that's about it. [I'm talking about] inner hurt. I'm physically, mentally done. I'm mentally drained. Tired of my kids crying."

Bonds originally had surgery to shave meniscus from the right knee on Jan. 31. He banged the knee shortly after surgery and had to have the stitches resutured. Only a few days after arriving in camp last month, he stepped into a batting cage and swung at a couple of Armando Benitez pitches, this time tweaking the knee.

Bonds had a monster workout on the field nearly two weeks ago, taking seven rounds of batting practice, jogging in the outfield and partaking in stop-and-go exercises. The next day, he took only about 25 swings. Then he shut it down.

On Sunday, as he was recovering from the last surgery, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that Kimberly Bell, an alleged ex-girlfriend of Bonds, had told the BALCO grand jury that he revealed his steroid use to her while discussing an elbow injury Bonds suffered in 1999. Bell also alleged that Bonds gave her $80,000 in cash as a down payment toward a house.

Late last year, Bonds' grand jury testimony was leaked to the Chronicle. The newspaper reported that Bonds said he may have inadvertently used a topical substance that might have included steroids.

Bell admitted in a television interview last month that she wanted to sell a book about the relationship. Bonds' attorney, Michael Rains, also said that Bell had tried to extort money from his client in a series of letters during the past two years.

On Tuesday, all the chatter had evidently finally gotten to Bonds.

"My son and I are just going to go enjoy our lives. My family is tired. I'm tired," Bonds said. "You guys wanted to hurt me bad enough; well, you finally got there. I'm not just talking about the [Sunday] story. I'm talking about all of it. Me and my son are going to try and enjoy each other. That's all we've got. You've tried to destroy everything else."