I'd say you're insecure about your ability to function in that particular setting. You know, responsibility, caring
I can only say what it felt like for me in a similar situation. When you're just doing short time flings you seldom achieve that emotional connection. Same goes when you're in a bad relationship.
But when somebody suddenly starts to treat you real nice, starts to care for you, then you freak out because you know you'll probably not be able to return the favor long term. You fear hurting someone that cares so much about you. That's why your brain subconsciously tells you to freak out because it's trying to protect you from future heartbreak.
A guy like you probably also know how loose women can be, so that becomes an aspect to. Do you want to commit your emotions to a girl you know probably will deceive you later on? Isn't that exactly why you're out doing 2 girls a week in the first place?
In my experience the need to fuck a lot of women always comes from some deep issue you haven't figured out/is not aware of.
I mean, aside from the thrill of something new, what do you achieve besides going around telling your environment and yourself "look at me, I'm such a bull. I'm a success"?
Polluxlm are you a shrink?!
I think you summed this far better than mine did.. he actually told me to go walk in the nature. I don't know what that would help.
The women I have (use) well I get a moment peace and satisfaction and prove my old man wrong, my childhood wasn't a pretty one and I still got blanks of times I don't remeber, it doesn't really matter nor do I care. Physical pain heals after all.
It was the ammount of mindfuck that I guess have lead to my "success" with women and my need for perfection. Since there was always something wrong if you asked him.
So if I plan to nail girls, I might as well be good at it.
So with his mindfuck tactics my stepdad branded my brain with a thought of I won't be loved by anyone, so it kinda turned the way that every girl was one more way to prove him wrong, or prove that he's more wrong. Or another price for me. Or just another way to show I was in control.
Things changed somewhat, before our group (we had this "realplayers-club with scoreboards and stuff) kinda competed who nailed the most girls a year and it was always a close competition (not that anyone dumped a girl or cheated on his gf just to win, some just cheated). But I stopped bosting about to my friends and they didn't need to ask. Sure we laugh about it WHEN they ask.
I feel I've lost touch with reality when in a relationship. We had a party once and a girl asked me to touch her breasts and later I thought the girl I'm seeing would've had every right to be pissed. It just felt it was the normal thing to do.
You're right about the emotions part, I guess I could say the new day, new girl mentality, is my armor and weapon of self-destruction the same time.
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