Earl speaks!!!

[tHeElEcTrIcSiNtAr]

This might some time ago, but it between 2003 and 2004. Not sure when though, I found it at another message board. It's from Metal Sludge:

Last Saturday, December 14th, we got the following email from Earl
Gabbidon:

METAL SLUDGE, MY NAME IS EARL, AND IM SURE
YOU KNOW WHO I AM. DOUG GOLDSTEIN TOLD ME ABOUT ALL YOUR INTERESTING
COMMENTARY ON AXL AND THE ENTIRE SITUATION INVOLVING CLEAR CHANNEL REGARDING
THE CHINESE DEMOCRACY WORLD TOUR.
YOU PRINT THESE BULLSHIT E MAILS THAT BORED,
UGLY 13 YEAR OLDS SEND IN. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. AND AS FAR AS YOUR
F.U. AWARD AXL WOULD LOVE TO ACCEPT IT IN PERSON. SO PLEASE LET US KNOW
HOW AXL CAN PICK UP HIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD...OR ILL BE HAPPY TO
PICK IT UP FOR HIM!
CLEAR CHANNEL ISNT THE ONLY PROMOTER...BEAVER
IS OFFERING HUGE MONEY.....WELL BE BACK OUT SOON!......COUNT ON IT...
KEEP THE NEGATIVITY COMING..IT FUELS AXL.......EARL
GABBIDON, G N R' SECURITY

After doing a bit of research, we found out that was Earl Gabbidon
and he's Axl's bodyguard. He's worked with Guns N Roses for the last
14 years! So naturally, we emailed him back and hit him up for 20 Questions
because we figured he's about as close as we're ever going to get to
Axl. He said to send them over and we did, and within hours we got these
back!
Even though Earl is a big black man, he's very ninja like and there
aren't many photos of him floating around. We only found one photo and
it's up above. If anybody has anymore, hook us up. He's in a few GNR
videos as well, so get some video captures of that for us because we're
too stupid to know how to do that.
Enough bullshit, here's the latest from the GNR camp, enjoy!

1. What are you currently up to?

We're on hold temporarily while we regroup
and see what the $$ folks have to offer. Axl has been looking forward
to this tour for 5 years now. We'll be back!

2. How did you get started being a bodyguard and what other artists have you worked with?

I started doing security in Arizona locally and
it turned into a nice living! Theres nothing better than liking your
job! I've also worked for PRINCE, MADONNA, WILL SMITH, THE STONES

3. Being that you are Axl?s bodyguard, are you with him even
when he?s off the road? Are you at his call 24 hours a day, 365
days a year?

Axl and I are very close, he knows he can ask
me for anything 24 hours a day and I'd be happy to do it, but yes technically
I'm on call 24/7

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it
a day?

Any band that gets up there and it looks like
there working instead of having fun!-but if you forced me to answer
at gunpoint-PEARL JAM!-WHAT ASSHOLES!

5. The last of Earl:
Last time you had to beat somebody?s ass?
GUNS/METALLICA SUMMER STADIUM TOUR. SOMEONE WALKED OFF WITH DUFF'S TOUR
JACKET.
Last time you wanted to beat Axl?s ass?
HAHAHA...I PLEAD THE 5TH!!!!
Last CD you purchased?
ROLLING STONES, LICKS CD!
Last celebrity you met?
PAUL MCCARTNEY AT THE L.A.FORUM, ME AND AXL WENT TO HIS SHOW..AMAZING!
Last sporting even you went to?
SOME BASKETBALL GAME?..CANT REMEBER WHERE OR WHEN?
Last movie you saw?
THE TUXEDO, JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT!
Last time you got a raise from Axl?
AXL'S VERY GENEROUS, IM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE ON RETAINER, SO MY PAY FLUCTUATES, BUT LIKE I SAID AXL IS A WONDERFUL, GENEROUS GUY.
Last time you punched an autograph seeker?
NOT MY STYLE!I TRY TO PREVENT VIOILENCE
Last time you worked out at a gay gym with Axl?
.....
Last time you took advantage of a groupie?
WHERES MY ITINERARY?

6. When you?re on the road with Guns N' Roses, what?s a
typical day like for you? Give us a breakdown of your daily duties?

...WAKE AROUND 7 A.M., EAT BREAKFAST, SHOWER.
CALL MGMT AND GET AXLS DAILY GRIND LIST. WAKE AXL, DO PRESS, OR GO TO
THE STUDIO,..ON THE ROAD WAKE, EAT, PRESS, GO SHOPPING OR TO THE GYM
WITH AXL, THEN GO TO VENUE, DO SHOW, LEAVE FOR NEXT CITY.-MAKE SURE
ALL OF AXLS STUFF MAKES IT TO THE PLANE. AND OFF WE GO!!!!!!!!

7. Ok, why didn?t Axl make it to Philadelphia? You were with
him, was he really watching basketball in his room and what?s the
real story?

HERES THE REAL DEAL...THE BASKETBALL GAME STORY
IS BULLSHIT! WE STAYED IN NEW YORK UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE, THATS TRUE!..BUT
IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH A KNICKS GAME. AXL HAD SOME PERSONAL THINGS
GOING ON THAT WOULD HAVE KEPT HIM FROM GIVING THE FANS THERE MONEYS WORTH,...I
PERSONALLY TOLD OUR TOUR MANAGER AT 6:30 THAT WE WERENT COMING...THE
PROMOTER IN PHILLY CHOSE TO DRAG IT OUT!....NOT OUR FAULT

8. What?s the most frustrating aspect of your job?

DEALING WITH THE WORLDS PREJUDICES AND PRE CONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT AXL!

9. You know Axl extremely well, probably better than his bandmates.
What?s the real Axl Rose like? The Axl people don?t get to see.

AXL IS A WARM,CARING PERSON THAT TRIES HARD TO
MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY, SOMETIMES WHEN ITS NOT IN HIS BEST INTERESTS TO. HES
FUNNY AS HELL, EXTREMELY TALENTED. HE CAN HAVE HIS DIFFICULT DAYS...BUT
WHO DOESNT?........WEVE BEEN AROUND THE WORLD TOGETHER A DOZEN TIMES...WEVE
HAD MANY LAUGHS AROUND THE WORLD. HES A GREAT GUY, WHO IM PROUD TO CALL
MY BRO

[Pandora]

Yeah it's from at least one year ago. It's supposed to be Earl, but considering the source is Metal Sludge, all bets are open.....

[tHeElEcTrIcSiNtAr]

10. Give us a touring memory about the following cities:

St. Louis = RIVERPORT.....A LITTLE INCIDENT THERE,
I REMEMBER RUSHING AXL TO THE CAR AND WATCHING THE SHIT HIT THE FAN!....

Vancouver = BAD TIMING....JET PROBLEMS

Detroit = PALACE AT AUBURN HILLS, GETTING A 25,000
BILL FROM THE PROMOTER BECAUSE DUFF GOT FUCKED UP AND TRASHED A DRESSING
ROOM AND CATERING ROOM!

Tokyo = TOKYO DOME, LOVE MR.UDO.GOOD SHOPPING,ME
AND AXL ALWAYS MAKE IT A POINT TO HIT THE RAPONGI DISTRICT.

Atlanta = HOME OF MY MAN J.DUPREE....WHATS UP SON?

Phoenix = COOPERSTOWN. BEST WINGS AROUND!..GOLFIN
WITH ALICE

Chicago = GREAT PIZZA.....AND FANS!

Rio, Brazil = I REMEMBER AXL GETTING ROBBED FOR
HIS 30,000 ROLEX OUTSIDE OUR HOTEL BY SOME THUGS, I WAS WITH SLASH AND
MATT THAT DAY, AXL WENT OUT ALONE, WHICH HE KNOOWS WAS BAD......DONT
LIKE IT THERE.......BEAUTIFUL, BUT DANGEROUS.....

Las Vegas = LOVE IT......SAM BOYD STADIUM 1991 WE KILLED!

11. Have there ever been any annoying celebrities or rock stars that
have wanted to meet Axl that you had to deal with, and if so, who was
a pain in the ass?

OWEN WILSON, HE CAME TO THE MSG SHOW IN NEW YORK,
HE HAD LIKE 5 GUESTS AND HE TRIED TO WALK THEM ALL INTO AXL'S DRESSING
ROOM, HE WOULDNT HAVE MADE IT TO THE DRESSING ROOM ALONE, NEVERMIND
WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WE DONT KNOW OR CARE ABOUT....

12. Other than Axl, what rock star deserves a smack in the mouth
and why?

VINCE NEIL......FOR RUNNING HIS MOUTH A DECADE
LATER ABOUT HIS FEUD WITH AXL, AS THEY SAY GET IN THE RING MOTHER
FUC*@R!

13. It was reported that Slash or any past GNR members were not allowed
at the Guns N Roses concert last New Year?s Eve in Las Vegas and
that Slash got the denied at the door. What was the story about that?
Were you instructed to not let any past members in the venue?

MORE TABLOID BULLSHIT!...SOMEONE AT THE HOUSE
OF BLUES SAID THEY SAW SLASH THE NIGHT BEFORE AND HE SAID HE WAS GONNA COME DOWN..IT MADE AXL A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE SO DOUGIE DECIDED TO NOT ALLOW SLASH PASSES....HE COULDVE COME AND RELAXED IN THE BACK......SLASH MILKS THAT STORY TOO....

14. The Chicago Sun-Times has recently reported that Axl is going to
check himself in to a psychiatric clinic due to exhaustion and other
emotional problems. Is that true, and if so, do you have to hang out
with him in the clinic too?

.....

15. Yes or no, has Earl ever:

Worn a KFC bucket on your head = YES BUCKETHEADS
IN HONG KONG

Given Axl a bath = WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Scared a white person just for fun = EVERY DAY!

Had sex in a Jacuzzi with a groupie = NOPE. IM
ALWAYS BUSY WORKING.

Benched 500 pounds = 475 IS MY BEST......

Had somebody throw up on you = MATT IN TEL AVIV,
ISRAEL 91

Heard Axl talk about Metal Sludge = NO, BUT YOUVE
BEEN MENTIONED TO AXL!

Had your own psychic advisor = MS.CLEO

Mistaken Gilby Clarke for a fan and not let him talk to Axl = HAHAHAHA..THATS
HILARIOUS!

Thrown somebody threw a wall or a plate glass window = .....

Saw Stephanie Seymour shit in a kitty litter box =THATS
FUCKED UP!......ROCK N ROLL URBAN LEGEND. STEPHANIE IS TOO CLASSY FOR
THAT........MEOW

16. There were reports that a few members of the new Guns N Roses
didn?t exactly get along. Did you ever have to break up any fights
amongst band members or have to kick anybody in the nuts?

..HELL YEAH!, ALL THE TIME....IVE PULLED THEM ALL
OFF EACH OTHER OVER THE YEARS.

17. In the 14 years you?ve been Guns N' Roses security, what
has been the scariest moment for you?

.....FLYING TO AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND ON THE M.G.M.
AND HITTING THE WORST STORM YOU EVER SAW.....WE ALL THOUGHT FOR SURE
WE WERE GONNA DIE......I REMEMBER GILBY'S WIFE DANIELA CRYING......WE
REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS THE END. LA BAMBA STYLE!

18. After working for Axl for 14 years, how many times has he fired
and re-hired you?

2 TIMES.......MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.....

19. You said Axl would like to pick up his FU award in person. We
have parties a few times a year. Do you think Axl would like to be a
guest at our next Metal Sludge Extravaganza in Los Angeles? We're sure
we could arrange to have a ceremony and have a few of our fine Sludgettes
hand it to him personally if that's what he really wants.
DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP!.....NOT LIKELY.......

You used to play professional football. What teams did you play
for and what?s more difficult, scoring a touchdown or getting Axl
Rose to go on stage?

I PLAYED FOR THE RAIDERS AND 49ERS, I PLAYED DEFENSE,
NEVER GOT A TOUCHDOWN!....BUT FOOTBALLS HARDER....SOMETIMES!

21. Do you believe ?Chinese Democracy? will ever be released
before we all die of old age?

IT WILL COME OUT..AND IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT.......BEST
GUNS IN A LONG TIME!

22. Time for Metal Sludge?s Word Association. We mention a
name and you give us your thoughts.

Riki Rachtman = SKATEBOARDER NOW, OLD FRIEND OF
AXL, NOT THE SMARTEST GUY I EVER MET.......

Kurt Loder = 2

Doug Goldstein = GREAT MANGER, CLOSE FRIEND.....WONDERFUL
BUSINESS MAN

Alice Cooper = DEAR FRIEND, WONT LET ME PAY AT
HIS RESTAURANTS, GREAT GOLFER......I LOST 400.00 TO HIM 2 YEARS AGO!

Slash = I WISH HIM WELL......LOTS OF FOND MEMORIES

CKY = UP AND COMERS.....

Lars Ulrich = SHORT, WHINY, BALDING TROLL THAT
WOULD SUE HIS OWN FATHER FOR DOWNLOADING

Sebastian Bach = OUT OF CONTROL.

Tommy Lee = EMBARASSING HIMSELF MUSICALLY......

Vince Neil = TIME FOR DETOX MAYBE

Del James = HEART OF GOLD....UNBELIEVEABLE WRITER....GREAT
SOUL......THAT I CARED DEEPLY ABOUT!

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME, COME SEE THE SHOW YOURSELF........FORM
YOUR OWN OPINION........THANKS AGAIN..EARL GABBIDON.

Once we got those back we emailed Earl and thanked him for doing
it and he wrote back:

Thanks again, well see you on the road...Earl,
p.s. looks like were heading out in june for a summer
run.....

So there you have it. Hopefully Earl won't
be fired for the 3rd time after this! Thanks to him for stepping up
to the plate and doing it! Tell Axl we said hello!



I touched it up a little bit so it was easier to read, take it for what it is.

[Will]

They later posted something saying they have been fooled by this guy pretending to be Earl. It was a good while ago.

[Narcissa]

Really ? I thought that was the real Earl.

[usurper]

The guy sure did his homework but he got two facts wrong, GNR never played the Sam Boyd stadium in 91 or Tel Aviv in 91, 93 yes.

[norway]

it be cool if he wrote a book or something