Here Today... Gone To Hell!

I've been thinking about a metal roof for my place.  They are way more expensive then a regular roof but they are suppose to last a really long time.  Not so much my concern but I do like the look of them.  I'm wondering about the noise.  I like the idea of hearing it rain on the roof but how loud are we talking?  Am I going to freak during a hail storm and will it get dented up?  How hot is that?  I get up on the roof several times a year to do shit.  Does it rust?

"Artic Plunge" and "Flash Freeze", okay the driveway isn't getting shoveled.   :hihi:  And after it passes by me, a "bomb cyclone".  Good luck to you people in the east.

I had no idea people could hear you through their ring doorbell.  Nobody has ever talked to me before, they just open the door.  Pretty sure the only thing I've ever said is "hurry up, I have to pee".   :hihi:

We'll shit, lost another year.  I know most people approach it as glad that one is over and hope the next is better.  I remember those years.  Getting through life is hard.

I have a Santa box.  We use to write all we hoped to accomplish in the up coming year and put the list in there.  On News Year Eve we would look at it and see what we had got accomplished, make lists for the upcoming year.  I'm going to switch it up.  I'm going to make a list as the year goes by of all the good stuff that happens.  I'm going to keep all those lists in there.

I was wondering if GNR would make my list and they came in as number one.   :D

Spring clean week.  I've decided the cabinet handles in my bedroom and kitchen are no longer to my liking.  Ordered up some new ones off Amazon.  Kind of miss those orders coming in.  :hihi:  Anyway I was surprised after 33 years the screws that held the pulls on the kitchen cabinets turned so easily.  It was getting them unstuck from all those years of grease in the air that was the problem.  The smell is awful.  If I had known that was going on, I would have turned that screw a long time ago.

So if I'm going to replace the pulls might as well replace the 33 year old shelf paper and do a little touch up paint.  I know how I got from pulls to paper and paint but I was on floors when I went to pulls.  How does that happen?   :hihi:

It was nice at Lowes when they asked if rather that give me my change I wanted it to go to a charity.  That's a good idea.  Everybody stop giving out change and send it to charity.   :D  Wait, except the quarters.  I need those for pinball.

Aww, Duffy died.  The guy who bought Simone to me.  Gone before the paramedics could get there and on his birthday too.  They are just having a grave side service and a party afterwards.  I kind of like that idea.  A brief good bye and a celebration afterwards.  I really have to get some winter funeral clothes.  Okay with these folks if I'm in my black jeans.  They'd think I was weird if I showed up all dressed up.  Sad to see him go, nice guy.  Not a close friend but one of those people who is always happy to see you.  Can't have too many people in your life like that.

Wow, my kitchen is starting to look good.  It's a minor little facelift with some touch up paint, handles not here yet and cabinet paper not replaced yet.  But as much as I love my kitchen floor, it's time to replace it.  And there ya go.  Didn't know how I got from floors to kitchen cabinet pulls but it all comes full circle in the end.   :hihi:

Yes I'm still laying down contact paper.  I'd like to lie and say I was half way done but I might be a little over a third of the way.  And I have the help of a cat.  Terrapin has to lay on each piece to make sure I'm cutting it right.  She likes to lay in front of the scissors to make sure I don't cut to fast.  And since she has four paws she likes to lend a hand in laying it down.  She frequently gets squirted out of the room for micromanaging.   :hihi:

Love my new cabinet handles.  Should have got the ones with bigger feet to cover the old drill holes.  If you look closely you can see some of the hole.  If you're looking that closely and it bothers you, get the fuck out of my house.  I live here.  It's not perfect.   :hihi:

And the celebrity death news just keeps coming.  :'(

Keith Richards, still alive.   :D

I ask myself why on every shelve.  So I finally googled it.  https://www.jamorganizing.com/blog/liner  Okay I don't care about #7 but there's still seven other reasons to do it.  Damn it!   :rant:

On the plus side, I did find my stash of Jack Daniels.  It's aging well.  It's for we're going to take care of this pain right here, right now.  May come in handy when I finish this project.   ;)

Went to the Lady's High Tea (don't google that).  I never have the clothes for that but we did review the proper way to hang your laundry on the line to dry.  What to do with your tea towel.  And who was still using an iron.  I've been out classed.  :hihi:

Then we went to recent deaths and onto dog deaths.  I'm really tired of death.  Got another notice today.

Okay this is kind of cool.  There's a line in a song by the Grateful Dead, Franklin's Tower:  "If you plant ice, you're going to harvest wind."  As it turns out it was something Benjamin Franklin said about the making of the liberty bell.  They used ice crystals in treating the metal for the bell.  It's what caused it to crack after the first ring and now all you can hear when it is rang is the wind coming through the crack.  I always think of this line saying something about how you talk about stuff.  If you talk shit to everyone about it, you're framing the way they think about something and they regurgitate bad shit back to you.  You know, be careful what you say.

"What I want to know", what is The Annotated Grateful Dead Lyrics book doing in the Harvard University book store?  Is that required reading for some class?

I have the first edition of this book from 2005.  Used, the price has tripled to sky rocketed, no new ones.  The second edition from 2015 is a little hard to find, online ordering for the most part from the usual suspects, out of stock in the book stores but available through two universities.  Maybe they can get anything but I find it odd they would list it on their sites.  Pretty cool that book is still listed though.  Not going to get here in time for a birthday present and if they reprint it, and they should, in 2015, that's way too late.   :hihi:

Why would Amazon do away with smile amazon, their charity program?

I have to wrap up spring clean.  I went grocery shopping and freaked trying to stay nice and organized when I put them away.  It was those one extra cans of soup and green beans that did it.   :hihi:

That's kind of cool.  They've invented a way to do away with all those pills bottles.  They come in pill packets that you put into refillable containers at home.  Those pill bottles aren't really recyclable.  They are under three inches and most places can't recycle them and they end up in the trash.  I'm not paying $50 for the kit but if the pharmacy gives me my meds in a packet, I can dump it into a pill bottle I have at home.

You ever watch Sweet's Little Willy video?  WTF, has that guy got on?   :hihi:  The worse rock outfit ever.  I watch the video just to put a smile on my face.  It's a head scratcher.

My taxes are done and waiting to be accepted.  One day before they start accepting them.  Spring clean done and it's the middle of winter.   :D  Yeah, I'm THAT person.   :hihi:

So you think those FBI agents have the security clearance to view those classified documents or that didn't occur to everybody when they sent them on those raids?

AOL changed their email.  They moved the send button from the top to the bottom right next to the attach symbol.  I keep hitting send when I mean to attach!  Then I have to send another email saying sorry I fucked up.  :hihi:  And every time I hit reply all to a long email with the attachment to straighten everybody out, the document is all the way down to the bottom, through several reply all responses.

Didn't even make it a week and Lily puked on the carpet.   :hihi:  Guess I'll be cleaning carpets yet again next spring clean.  Of course it was mostly mud in the water when I cleaned them and that's on me.  Never remember to take off my boots before coming into the house.

NBC interrupted regular programing to show the Memphis video of the police beating.  No lead in, no advanced warning of you may find the content disturbing, boom it's in your face.  "We need dirty laundry."  They're hot for something to happen or rather make happen.  They should be held accountable for that.

Woke up late thinking it was Monday, jumped on the computer to check all the shit I had that was scheduled to show up and nothing there.  Calm down sister it's only Sunday.   :hihi:  Woke me up faster than a cup of coffee.  I kind of like these day when I have so much shit going on time just blurs into what I'm doing next.  Looking for places where I can squeeze in some more shit to get accomplished.  Run with it for a while.

They were talking about this home owners association requiring you to submit a sample of your dog's poop.  When the HOA found dog poop not picked up they would have it analyzed.  If it was your dog, you would get a violation consequence leading up to either get rid of your dog or sell and get out of our community.   :o  That's a little too Big Brother, imo.

Tried this honey garlic chicken recipe.  Easy and it turned out really good.  https://www.askchefdennis.com/honey-garlic-chicken/#recipe

Wow, one of those lost days.  I drew, listened to music, read for a while and even cooked a two course dinner.  Hardly anything in my in box and I didn't get a text until 7.  Nice to be home.

I was digging around in my treasure box the other day.  There's some good shit in there but mostly it's little junk I've picked up along the way.  My grandmother's opium pipe, a dead moth I thought was pretty, an Allman Brothers sticker.  Little stuff most people would have ignored or tossed along the way.  I think of them as gifts from the universe.  Placed at my fingertips at the time and made me smile.  Things of interest but no real value.  Kind of cool having a treasure box of things you've picked up over a life time.  :D

I hope LA Search and Rescue is on their way to Turkey.  So sad.

SNL is going to portray Sarah Huckabee as a Stepford wife.  I don't think she blinked.

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I didn't think I'd be one of those people that went around showing pictures of the grandbaby but damn.  He's just so cute!   :D

Nail biter on this super bowl game.  I missed the half time show and the commercials.   :hihi:  I look up when they say touchdown.

Or when he makes a run all the way down to the 5 on a punt return!

I have to redeem myself at pinball tonight.  I got my ass kicked so bad last week I got knocked down from group B to C and not even in a playoff spot.   :hihi:  This is what happens when I'm playing with a damn good looking man and don't have my mind on the game.  And I'm still not sorry.   8)

My kid brother has been looking like life's burdens have been taking their toll.  Text him to see if he would go to the Dead concert with me.  Know he's going to say he has to work.  Yeah you've been carrying that load for too long.  Didn't give a chance to say no.  Text him it was too late, I got tickets, my treat.  Too much time has gone by without a Dead concert and connecting with my sibling.  The band members, us, any of us could be dead next year.  Call you ass in fucking sick and tired of always being the responsible one.  :hihi:

Too much going down today
just can't take it in
Too much running 'round today
can't tell you where I've been

It's Girl Scout cookie time!  Got mine.  8)

I'm finally letting go of my 35mm film camera equipment.  It's been sitting for a good 30 years.  Can't believe I still know how to work it.  It was a little more complicated back in the day.  Cherished stuff, something I use to do.  Something that would just hit the trash when I'm dead. 

I was going to say more about the good feeling I had at having found my stuff a home but as it is, part of the reason I quit taking pictures called at the moment I typed dead.  She has terminal cancer.  Yeah, I can't explain shit like that.

Anyway, the high school still teaches a film photography class and I'm giving the stuff to them.  It will get used.  And I'm back to taking pictures again since I retired.  Hell of a lot easier now and I don't really look at the details.  The story behind the pictures are happy ones.

Wow, that's still sinking in.  All those kids and I never lost one.  The little guy came close.  But I got all those kids in and out without anybody dying.  I wouldn't count her out just yet.  

It was just yesterday I was telling myself I was about to get activated.  And in denial because I don't do that any more and I'm not going back to it.  I can't explain that either and way past trying too.   :hihi:  It's kind of nice to know I can still do that.  I've been missing it but also holding it at bay.  It's one of those things you don't believe in but it happens enough you're like, really?

Anyway, I'll stand by her.  It will probably just be phone calls.  She's kept in touch all these years.  Calls when she needs support.  Like I said, I wouldn't counter her out.  She's a fighter.  It's what I like about her.

And sorry to type that out.  It's not something I can say out loud without choking and probably full blown tears.  The only time I ever choked was the phone call about the little guy.  Only once during that call because I went to controlled pissed real fast.  Yeah I was wrong, he didn't die but 6 weeks of me saying get him out of there, I was almost right.  40 years later and I'm still pissed.  Last time I saw him, I ran into him at an airport flying out to his adoptive family.  Chance meeting but it gave me a closure.  Can't explain how that happens either but it happen often enough.  Job well done.

I think I changed more plant timers then actual clocks.  I like this change, it's lighter at the end of the day when I'm more likely to be up.

As far as I know fentanyl is not really prescribed to out patients like opioids were.  With so much out there, you have to wonder if it's not going out the front door.   I know they blame China but I'm not so sure there's some profit loss behind it.

I so got my ass kicked right out of the pinball playoffs.  I've been in drain down the middle or the sides mode.  Hate when that happens.  Walked up to Scooby-Doo, a game I've never played before, last night and couldn't lose the ball.  I mean I did lose the ball because the whole time I'm going wear did the ball go.  Lots of blind ball spots.  Anyway, if you aren't in playoffs you get free food, free drinks and open play while the rest of them play for places.  I'm good with that!  I have more trophies then one woman wants to find a place for and dust.

Today I completed 4 years of retirement.  Tomorrow I start the 5th.  The counting is kind of like being pregnant.  You have to go through the 9th month, not just get there.   :hihi:  That's a reality check that sucks.

My official retirement day is April 1st.  The joke's on some body but it wasn't me.  I call it drawing the permission to fuck off card.  I hear they still haven't been able to get a worker to stay around long enough to fill my desk.  It's been vacant most of the time.  I got out of there at age 60.  Left a lot of money on the table.  But I've had 4 full years of doing what I want and you can't put a price on that.  I still work but it's all volunteer time.  Busy people are always busy and I'm a busy person.

I didn't plan on it but I've been reinventing myself.  I would say my profession is now gardening.  I've got a couple of new skills, still in development, pinball and doodling.  I no longer cringe when the phone rings.  I actually got a cell phone.  I take pictures and I spend money on shit like going out to eat and buying myself stuff.  I'm always happy.  :D  There's no down side to retired.

 :beer: Too many more years Cineater!

My goal is to live longer than Keith Richards.   :hihi:  I cut off fast living before he did so I think I can get to a higher age then he does.  The again, he didn't have the stressful job.  But I'm watching Keith.  It's going to be lonely years without him but he's setting the bar.  He's not dead yet.   :D

Working on cars is no fun any more.  My car has been doing some funny shit.  Just been waiting for whatever is wrong to finally break.  The engine has been trying to stall out, occasionally it does or loses power.  It does but then it gets over it and it doesn't code.  I'm guessing clogged fuel filter, vacuum leak some where or it's just a senor.  Bingo on senor.  Cam shaft sensor coded this afternoon. 

I don't know a lot about working on cars but I've hung out in the garage helping the guys enough that I can kind of zero in on the problem.  Although 9 times out of 10 it's one of those sensors going out.  I'll be damn if I'm paying $300 a piece to replace the sensors to tell me if my tire is low.  Can they please make a sensor that last the lifetime of the car?

They don't want you too fix them anymore. They want to do all the work and charge $$$ for everything they do.

Happy Spring!  :D  Yeah it's all about gardening.  One would think it's was about the plants with me but it's not.  It's physical activity.  The end of winter comes along and I just want to sleep all the time.  That seasonal affect disorder kicks in and I don't care how much light I get, I go into hibernation mode.  It's a struggle to get moving in the spring with all the pollen out there.  Think I'm high half the time just from that.  The secret to moving is just start and don't stop until you've properly kicked your own ass.  Then drag your sore ass out of the bed the next morning and get moving.  Get those muscles warmed up and all that soreness goes away.  And all that activity is a kind of high but it brings your mood right out of the gutter.  And you're unstoppable at that point.  :D

So when you start to feel the chemical burn, it's time to stop.  I mean do something else.   :hihi:

Carmen is getting a hip replacement.  We're wondering when she gets cremated if those metal parts will melt down or they just appear as metal chunks in her ashes?  She's going to have her ashes pressed into rocks so we're wondering if her rocks will have metal though out them.  Ashes made into rocks come out in colors based on your ash composition.  I would love to see what mine would look like but the kid doesn't like the rock idea and of course, I would be dead, so there's that.  Maybe I'll get to see Carmen's.

Pinball playoffs tonight.  Did not make it into the top 4, in any division.  It's okay, I'm not that good except I can keep the ball in play.  It's open play tonight and all the food you can eat while they battle it out.  We got in Scooby Doo recently and the God Father showed up this week.  Foo Fighters is coming soon.  All cool, new games aren't in playoffs so I'll get to play them.  Wonder what games he kicked out.  James Bond can go, imo.

I don't want to kick up the politics thread but we've all heard the any Tuesday now.   :hihi:

Wow tornado in Montebello California.  I was born there and my grandparents had an avocado grove.  Wonder if would have even known to run for the root cellar.   :hihi:  We were only trained in school to take cover in case of an air raid.

Did anybody see Fall Out Boy on the Tonight Show tonight?  Their outfits reminded me of the Village People.   :hihi:  Working men's outfits but interesting.  The performance stopped me in my tracks.  Good stuff.  Suspect the lead singer is on steroids though.  If I was a much younger woman, I'd be asking who that bass player was.  ;D

https://youtu.be/BahWrtvv9zw (https://youtu.be/BahWrtvv9zw) bass player doesn't fit without muscle :hihi:

He reminded me of a fisherman or somebody you would run into on the docks.  Was the drummer throwing a red toga over his shoulder at one point?  He looked very Greek like for a minute.

"GM will stop making the Chevy Camaro, but a successor may be in the works. A 2023 Chevy Camaro 2SS Convertible is seen at a dealership in Wheeling, Ill., on Wednesday. General Motors said it will stop making current generation of the brawny muscle car early next year."

Okay they have gone too far with electronic cars.  That's your successor model.  :'(

My neighbor has a 66 Camero he's restoring.  First year they made that car.

Got the car back from the shop and it is running okay.  If I had to say there might still be something, I'd say she's a little bit sluggish and her engine purr is off.  But yeah, it was coming.  Coding again for small evap system leak.  I did just get gas so I could have not tighten the gas cap down tight enough.  Or they say it could be another sensor.  I'll tighten her cap and let her run a little bit, see if it gets worse.  Hate leaving my car at the shop.  The trick to waiting is get it to the shop before you're on the side of the road.  I'm pretty good at that but I've had some tense rides on the way there.  :hihi:

Even though the power is out, I still walk around the house reaching to flip the light switches.  :hihi:  Nice to know I still know how to work the stove.  :rofl:

Wow, so many memories.  A tornado took the roof off the Apollo in Belvidere Illinois last night.  I was there every Saturday for the movie matinée, smoking in the john and hoping to run into Lenny, first crush.  :hihi:  I'm surprised that building still stands, hope they can fix it.  I guess everybody has an Apollo Theater in their history.

God do I hate to bring this up!  Basically Trump has committed tax fraud?  How much does he owe?  How much is this costing?  I assume he doesn't do his own business accounting/taxes.  Shouldn't his tax accountant be questioned and maybe charged too?  Don't they normally just say, not a deduction, you owe us money and let the tax payer take them to court over whether it's allowed or not?  Maybe levee an extra penalty.

Shit  I write a little bit.  Kind of my way of working through things.  I don't know where the story is going.  It's more like following it.  The call to write has been strong so I answered it.  I ended up walking into an abandon graveyard.  I guess with death looming all around me that's where I need to be.  Don't want to but if I'm not around, I'm lost in a story.

Ever have one of those times when you're getting screwed every time you turn around?  I didn't even see it coming.  Four times since Thursday night and 5 if you count the car's engine light coming on again.

My annual physical turned into something.  I just sat on the table.  :hihi:  Two women come in and inform me this is also my welcome to Medicare physical.  The one is in training.  In addition to your normal physical stuff, they are giving me numbers to repeat backwards, shove a piece of paper in front of me and have me identify what is the bigger among the symbols.  And then have me take off my shirt for an EKG, that's not normally done but okay.  Then the nurse practitioner comes in, also in training, does her stuff but has me draw a clock in the circle symbol and show 10 to 11.  Then comes in the real nurse practitioner.  She gives me 5 words to remember and say backwards.  Tells me to remember them as we're going to talk about them through out the physical.  Damn only got 4 later.  Fucking pen.  The staff was good, they rolled right on through, no waiting on anybody.  I walked out of there with 5 other medical screening appointments I have to schedule.  And got a shot before I left.  I was like, what just happened?   :hihi:

They pronounced me healthy, not senile.  Nobody even said quit smoking.  They trusted me to remember to schedule those five other appointments.  And my insurance is giving me a $135 in gift cards for this and the two screenings I already had.  I'm just a little confused why I'm being treated so well and anybody is interested in my health.   :hihi:  I have to wait forever when I see the doc and he gives me 10 minutes.  Hardly says shit and sends me on my way.  I think I prefer his physical.  You know, you're not dying, neither one of us has any concerns.  Get back to your life and see you next year.

Yes, you have writing skills, this topic is like your own blog or digital journal  :)

Same feeling here, getting an appointment with a family doctor in the public service is a waste of time, you spend hours waiting for a 15-minute shift in which he sees you and calls the next patient, not to mention specialty doctors, the hours turn into weeks or months, in the end they just do their job, they don't give a damn about your health in many cases.

I've been so busy lately I haven't had time for story telling but it's still pushing.  Today, it came out as lyrics.  Something I said about Axl triggered it:

Got pushed into traffic
Started to scream but I'm living the dream.  

Body in the dirt, mind in the gutter
and they want my shirt.

I was like, is that any good?  Where did that come from?  It's about pursuing a career, all the shit you go through to rise to the top.  You know, a career is suppose to be a good but it's a lot of shit along the way.  The tune wouldn't come, just the words so I couldn't get to a chorus.  I moved on with life's ideal dream, which is where the chorus should be, to we're married, with the 2.5 kids but it ends in divorce and getting stuck with the .5, the family pet.  :hihi:

And now that I know what it's about I'm out of the symbolism that brings the words.  It's better to just write and find the understanding later.

Wait, for the chorus, how about

Looking back over it now
it wasn't what I was told
it wasn't what I was sold
I'm okay leaving life's highway and taking the back roads

Thought my salvation was a mom and two kids
took my wallet and left skids

You know this is a rough go for this guy but I'm laughing my ass off writing this.

The ambulance came to take me away
I have no name so here's where I'll lay
I'm a road side attraction
you pass on your way

Actually that's a pretty good wrap up on Axl, Slash and me.  Write it and think about it later.

We have a new mail carrier.  Asked her name, Clue.  Asked her to repeat it and even said it back to her.  Look, one of the other neighbors needs to confirm that.  I'm still wondering if I got it right.   :hihi:

I scheduled 5 medical appointments plus one for the cat.  I kind of miss covid lock down.  Nobody wanted to see you.

So my daughter, the nurse, wants to know why I'm getting all these screenings.  It's part of my medical plan when I turn 65.  She's not understanding.  I finally say, because I'm old.  Yeah, I know you're having a hard time wrapping your head around that.  I do too.

You know, when you have to accept the fact your mother is old, you have to accept the fact you're middle aged.   :hihi:  I think I might have made her cry.  Adulting sucks.

I'm excused from jury duty Monday.  They cancelled so they can't call me again for 2 years.  I spent 24 years going to court.  Holds no thrill for me.  I always got out of other jury calls because I might need to be in juvenile court so I've never had to do it.  I left my week open in case I got stuck there.  Friday I was going to have to cancel if I did but otherwise I'm open, shhhh.  ;)

How old are you?

I am 43 years old, my wife and I are terrified of living alone once our children start their own lives, the eldest of 21 years is already in the middle of his degree, the middle one of almost 18 years tomorrow takes an exam to enter the naval university (he may be the 1st to leave home) and our youngest daughter is still in high school. If today we feel silent when everyone concentrates on his activities, we cannot imagine what it will be like to live alone, we will miss them very much.

Oh you would have thought my daughter was dying for the way I felt when the time to move out came.  I had to hide all of that from her.  It was my job as the parent to help her in this next step of child development.  It so sucked.  I was crushed.  So it's your job to help the kids on their way to adulthood and keep all the pain between you and the wife.  Thank god for text messaging.  My rule was I wouldn't be the first right off the bat but sometime during the day I found a reason to touch base if she hadn't.  We both acknowledge we would miss each other and decided to take a class together and we had date nights in the beginning.  Gradually I got use to it and found a life without a child.  She's been out of the house about 6 years now.  The subject recently came up and I did tell her some of what I felt when she moved out.  She's going to have to face that when her child moves out so I thought I'd do the parent thing and teach her about that.  She said she didn't even know how I felt when she left, that I was the strong one telling her she could do it so she knew she could.  Hell I left my parents house without looking back.  I was going to do it.  :hihi: She's a lot different from me, got her shit together.

Can't help you with the spouse relationship adjustment.  You guys will figure it out.  There's no rush to make it how it's going to be until you explore all the options.  It's a little unsettling not to know the routine but you'll settle into one soon enough.  Just don't do the stupid thing and start the family all over again.   :hihi:  It's smart at some point to down size the house so the kids can't move back home.  You wouldn't be a good parent if you didn't hold them to their adult responsibilities.

I will be 66 in June.  My 40's were tough years.  You'll like the 50's.  A lot of the things that stressed you out all those years, you just don't give a shit about any more.  :hihi:  60's have been really cool.  I've never been happier.

Blood work is in.  I pull in pretty steady numbers across the board.  Indicates though I may have a UTI.  This time of year, what doesn't hurt?  THAT!  The only thing not hurting from the neck down is that.  :hihi:

Okay, maybe that does hurt.  I just thought it was from bending over and transplanting so much.  Good to know it might not be my back.  The back goes I'm in some trouble.  Give me some drugs.

Text Susan, you got a headache?  Yes and no.  Okay I know what I'm dealing with, weather front coming.  We've both been feeling it for a couple of hours.  It's going to get worse until it passes.  Pop a sinus pill and an aspirin at the point it's getting painful.  And here's the weird part.  The top of my head is cold. 

The scientific explanation is it messes with the chemicals in the brain and can trigger migraines.  Yeah I know that one.  Susan's probably on the floor with one now.  It's been years for me since the headache has flipped to a migraine.

I slip a crochet hoodie on to warm up the top of my head but then the pain moves to my forehead.  Pull it down but it moves to my cheeks and nose and then I close it up.  That's the really weird part.  :hihi:

Not a UTI, just a strained back.  No white blood cells.  Strained back is more like me.

Looking back over it now
it wasn't what I was told
it wasn't what I was sold

Wonder what it would have been like if I went another way
Didn’t listen to what they would say
Got out of my head
Got out of my way
Laid down the law and had my say

Might have been road kill
But still
Could have been in the driver’s seat
instead of pushed by a cheat

Looking back over it now
it wasn't what I was told
it wasn't what I was sold

Can’t say I’m pissed
It is what it is
It was a swing and a miss
That’s all it is

A semi rolled by and blew me to the side
Saved my hide
That is no lie

Battered and bruised
I staggered away
Flip them the bird and flew away
(insert best Janis Joplin laugh)

For some reason that story rolls like Hot Rod Lincoln in my musical telling of it.  Comes out pretty fast.

Cin - Please keep visiting the good doc., i've seen the same G.P. for 30 years & he knows me well. Most good ones (GP'S) can provide the correct guidance!
Poor

I've had the same doc for many years.  I only go once a year for a physical.  I'm rarely sick and it's even more rare for me to call and say I think I need drugs.  He doesn't know me cause there's nothing to know.  :hihi:  That's a good thing.  I kind of don't like medical because they take away your sense of well being with all the preventive stuff and advice.  I do all the preventive stuff but you can't say a clean colonscopy today doesn't mean you won't develop problems before your next 10 year preventative exam.  It's kind of just a random chance of catching it.

The last few years the neighborhood has been pretty quiet.  Friday morning around 7:30 I look out and the neighbor kid is sitting on his suitcase in the middle of the court.  Either he's leaving or he's getting kicked out.  Damn it, I need to load the car with plants out and go.  I want nothing to do with this one.   :hihi:

Last night I get a text from another neighbor.  Obviously drunk and in a fighting mood.  It's midnight and she wants to go over and scream at a neighbor for not feeding his dog.  She'd do it too.  Also want nothing to do with this one.  Tell her I have to go to bed and turn off all the lights in my house.  :hihi:

"When life looks like easy street, there is danger at your door."  The neighbors be crazy.  Hiding out in the house.

(https://img.kwcdn.com/product/Fancyalgo/VirtualModelMatting/3253544fce2f9d78e72f6d184ba55d0a.jpg?imageView2/2/w/800/q/70/format/webp)

Always cracks me up.

(https://img.ifunny.co/images/dd1a9ad89fd3c6398717fd152d567f14d2bcb8799a4a736dcd09c5bffa5aabb3_1.jpg)

Damn it, my favorite bartender quit.  That was after she threw a bucket at Heather and hurt her.  And on the same night Greg got into it with Marcus over his drinking and fired him.  He was our cook at the bar.  And Tim reports he threw his adult son out and his wife moved back in.  Apparently the son is a dick towards the wife and drinks.  I had no idea so much drama was going on behind my back while I'm at the pinball machine.  All I got is some eggplant education signs for show and tell.  :hihi:

When you have that gift that will eat up a lot of your wrapping paper and is just a pain in the ass to wrap.  I pull out my white kitchen trash bags, double it up so they can't see through it, throw the gift in and tie it with a nice bow.  Voila!  And you can use the trash bags for clean up.

Totally freaked me out!  They have doctor fish at the aquarium.  You stick your hand in and they eat the dead skin off your hand.  It's like sticking your hand into a ball of worms!  Took me three tries and I still couldn't do it.   :hihi:  Finally had to turn my head and close my eyes to do it.  Really didn't feel anything but I couldn't look.  My friends said my hand was softer.  Maybe a little bit but why was I the only one to do it?   :hihi:  Left it in there a good long time too.  Working in the dirt your hands get real dry.

I think I like Mother's Day best for gift giving.  I get to give flowers and gifts.  Plus I get to plant the flowers.

Also my daughter's birthday today.  Had her over for breakfast, shhh, don't tell people I can cook.  Opened her gifts.  Her husband gave her a piece of styrofoam carved and painted to look like a cell phone.   :hihi:  With a note saying they would go pick it up at the store tomorrow.  I over do it on that kid.  Probably just as many gifts as at Christmas.  We went and painted pottery, mushrooms.  Sent her mom shirts from the dog, paw print, and from the baby, boy mamma with dinosaures on it.  They got me an outdoor rug for my patio.  Had a nice day with my little family.

Her dad called to wish me a happy mother's day followed by pissy because she is out of town next weekend when he was planning on coming up.  It's today, not next weekend, same day every year, but yeah not saying that, I have to go.

My daughter opens my frig.  "Mom you need to get some food."  No, what I've got is a family size frig for one person.   :hihi:

You eat different when it's just one person.  If I make something, I end up eating off it for a couple of days.  Mostly I graze, eat a little bit throughout the day.  Spoonful of peanut butter makes a nice snack.  Breakfast for dinner is always a good choice.

My grandson turned 6 months old today.  He's 90% on height and on the skinny side.  That's his daddy right there.  He's got the cutest little laugh, very alert, easy going little dude.  Likes Miss Rachael.  I like her friend Jewel and the train song.  God damn it on Icky, Sticky, Bubble Gum.  It's not a big purple dinosaur show but Miss Jewel is butch.  I'd bet money on it.   :hihi:  We like her a lot.  Catch them on youtube.

I see him about once a week to give his dad a break.  Last week he reached out to me for the first time when I showed up.  He talks to me all the time.  More of a scream but this kid has something to say.  He likes to look out the window with me and watch the trees.  Something new he likes to just watch and study it.  That's his mom right there.  A little cautious.

They're putting him in a helmet for 6 weeks.  The back, right side of his head is flat.  Now that he sits up most of the day, I think that would have corrected itself but not my kid.  He's got attentive parents, a dog and a grandma, life is pretty sweet for all of us.

Damn it!  My favorite knife fell down on the heating element in the dishwasher.  Melted the handle about a third of the way through.  I've had that since I moved to college.  An old, cheap one but I use it all the time.  I could smell it burning just couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from.  The whole house reeks.  It's not like the poor knife doesn't have a chip out of the handle already and the blade isn't all that straight from sharpening, cutting all theses years but it's my favorite!  Maybe I can wrap duct tape around the burned part if it quits stinking.  It's pretty rough.  I think it came from my grandma's house when she died or maybe it was mom's but it's the knife I always reach for.  Shit

The handle of the knife smells.  Does that ever go away?  The house still stinks.

You know I get a lot of shit for being a smoker.  I try to be courteous about it and walk away from people when I'm smoking but, and here's the rant!  When I walk away from you to smoke, it's your job to stay the fuck away from me.  I don't mind the closet smokers bumming those expensive smokes, you know they do cost a lot, off me but it's just a fucking waste if you don't inhale.   :hihi:  I think that annoys me more than those folks who even get a whiff of a cigarette and act like it's going to kill them.

It's a good thing I smoke because some of you folks would have to die!  My thinking and you know, I'm not running around with an automatic weapon taking my anger out on everybody.  Didn't have all these mass shootings when people smoked.  Something to think about.   :hihi:

Had to drive through the middle of the valley.  They are building in it again.  Far different place from when I found it over 20 years ago. 

Where I first ran from the castle in just my shift and into the woods.  The fields where Axl, the coyote, roamed.  Where the big hunting birds soared, my heart with them.  It's all light industrial now on both sides of the highway.  Before it was just a field with a two lane road.  The section of it I drive to get to the gardens has changed too.  The gorilla still stands guard at the entrance to the valley.  The witch's place is gone.  Sold to a roofing company who took out the greenhouses, the beds of herbs and the one room schoolhouse.  Turned it into the storage lot.  The Canadian geese abandon the pond they used to rear their young.  You can still buy farm fresh produce there and the train still runs through it.  The garden is still there, where I frequent.

The valley is locked safely in my mind.  When I kick in my imagination, I go there.  I don't go to the other side much any more.  The magic of the place, left with me.

I go into the valley one way and out another.  Coming out Tuesday night, I notice a tree line is down.  It was there on Monday.  Opens up the ground between the service road and the highway where they've already plowed up the ground.  Donna says they are putting in a restaurant.  They could use a truck stop.  The area is too big for a restaurant.

One would think with all the industry in the area it would be bustling.  It's not, it's eerily quiet.  Hardly any traffic and I never run into shift change traffic.  The roads are built to accommodate a large volume of traffic.  Must be a good set up cause those folks leave work, shoot out onto the highway and are out of there.  At least I think people work in those places.  Never see them.  :nervous:

So the ex calls.  Sometimes good to talk to him for a real minute but I let it go to voicemail, not today.  Leaves a message, I'm going to look at a motorcycle.  Last he said was he would never have another bike because a friend of his got killed on one doing something he never would have done on a bike, changing the radio station going around a corner on a two lane road.  He gets a bike, he'll ask me if I want to take a trip.  We use to ride a lot.  So, I'm not calling him back.  :hihi:  Don't want him to think that would get me to go with him.  Don't buy that bike on my account, never going to happen.  It's been 30 years but I know how this guy thinks.  Damn his second wife for divorcing him.  :hihi:

Hey wait a minute.  I go to add some stuff to my amazon list for my birthday and they've already whipped out my list.  It's not even June yet.  I have some more stuff I want.   :hihi:  I hope they aren't done shopping yet.  Probably should have put an Amazon gift card on there.  The secret to getting your list cleared out is a lot of very reasonably priced stuff.  They look at the price and think that's cheap and before you know it, you put too much stuff in your cart.  At least that's what happens to me when I'm buying.   :hihi:

Are you fucking kidding me?  The kids got talked into buying solar panels for their house to the tune of $50,000.  They don't know anything about that and no idea if there is a better price out there.  And now they are having second thoughts but have to pay to get out of the contract, $7,000.  The only saving grace they have is their roof won't support the number of panels needed.  That voids the contract if you ask me.  The place is refiguring.  Told her if they give them another contract to not sign it until they've done some research and have a lawyer take a look at it.  They did the same thing with Anderson Windows.  Apparently I didn't say enough about that mistake.  Never invite sales people to come just to talk, it's a hard sale approach.

And the reason it was so drafty in their house, they left a basement window open.  My children are stupid.   :hihi:

We're going to the Dead concert next week.  Bobbie can't sing anymore so I suspect that's it for the band.  I wish they'd let John Mayer take it over.  Hard to say fare thee well.  It's not good bye, the music plays on.  Lots been said about the band and still is but as they say "statements seem vain at last."  Just a little jug band.

And my kid's AC unit needs replacing.  Always happens, you spend money and you get handed an unexpected bill.  For me, if I get unexpected money, it's followed by a bill that takes it all and usually a little bit more.  :hihi:

This is a nice story.  The 8th grader had no transportation to get to his graduation so he walked the 6 miles to where they were having it at a college.  The college hearing about it awarded him a full ride scholarship.  And NASCAR finding out he wants to work in their field gave him a ride and tickets to a race this weekend.  That's wonderful except I know the area he lives.  He's at high risk of being killed by guns before he ever gets to any of those things.  And nobody from his family went to that graduation.  He does have a male mentor so that's something.  And you know, the kid's looking out for himself.  I wish him luck.

Years back, I let a kid in a similar situation come live with us.  We got her through high school.  The first in her family to graduate.  That little bit of help changed her life's path.  Granted she was determined to change the direction it was headed and made all the right choices.  Her sister before her didn't do so well but her example for the younger one, it can be done, made a big difference for her and she did well.  The girl who stayed with us, just that little bit of help, a safe, stable place to stay was everything that made the difference for two people and is making the difference for their kids.  She was great to have around too.  It didn't seem like that much at the time just so simple, sleep here, eat when we eat, we're going to get you a job, teach you to drive, take you to the doctor when you're sick, regular dental care and give you gifts on gift giving occasions.  Normal stuff in my world.  She seemed surprised by all that.  And no, I'm the adult here, you don't have to do anything but keep your room picked up and take care of your kid responsibilities.  She thought she had to earn her keep.

Oh good, the solar panel company had to cancel the contract.  They can't take them total solar power.  It's not that I'm against solar but they need to investigate this before deciding this is where they want to put their money.  The lights for the plantation is what is running up their electric bill but he wants to move that out of the house anyway.  But it's not just as simple as throwing up a couple of panels on the roof and this house is not designed for going off the grid.  Do your research, get your shit together and build.  Give it 5 years, advances are being made.  Solar panels on this house only brings down the value and makes it harder to sell.

Well, that was worth missing the GNR concert yesterday.  See the cable guys poking around my yard.  They installed upgraded equipment and now I speed around the net.  Didn't even tear up the yard.  :D  Say now they are passed me there will be no more survive disruptions.  I've been pretty much off line during business hours the last two days.

Some pictures popped up on my photo frame.  They caught my brother out on the road in his truck.  He's pulling two trailers!  Forgot how exciting it is to run across somebody you know when you're out on the road.  The pictures make me smile.  His arm is out the window, waving at them.  Bet there was a big smile on his face as they go by.  Big smiles in the car too.

That guy so lied to me!   :hihi:  Cable and internet have been out during the day for the last two days.

I am so out of touch with the drug world, good thing.  So we're walking out of the Dead concert and they are selling single balloons for $10.  "Hippy Crack" according to the article I read.  It's a thing, mostly at Dead related concerts and popular in Europe.  Nitrous oxide, quick high.  My daughter, the nurse, says if anybody falls down, keep walking, unless they're dead.  How do I know if they're dead?  I guess she planned to revive but up to that point she was off duty.  :hihi:

https://www.newsweek.com/nitrous-phish-fans-hippie-crack-madison-square-garden-new-york-city-646022 (https://www.newsweek.com/nitrous-phish-fans-hippie-crack-madison-square-garden-new-york-city-646022)

Music Sunday.  I don't get many of these in the spring.  Rained out of my original plans for the day.  Don't mind the Dead jamming their ass off so much.  I come up with my best ideas listening to music or digging in the dirt.  Usually the Dead inspire me to write.  They are such great storytellers.  I do have a chapter I started.  The story ran on before I could get it typed out so reset.  Not going down that path or I might when I finally get around to typing it.  The story flows off my fingertips as I type it.  Not doing that today though.  My fingers are pretty tight and tired from working in the garden.  Trying to loosen them up by blogging here.  You should see the typos from this side.  Spell check is a wonderful thing.  :hihi:

Anyway, DJ.  She was in mama mode the other night.  Gets in my car and announces it's the cleanest she's ever seen it.  I don't consider it clean and later on she's going to spill a plant on my floor.  And just shut up, your car is always loaded with dog hair.  I quit hanging out with her because she always wants to run down what's going on in your life, analize what you need to do better when you didn't even present it as a problem.   :hihi:  She's the kind of social worker I would have hated as a foster child.  She did ask me for the link to the incontinence underwear I got my mom.  There ya go, solution to a real problem.

Never thought sharing my little manipulation to get my mother to wear incontinence underwear would help so many people but it has.  Really, who talks about incontinence underwear?  :hihi:  Yeah, I did.

Finally, I got to buy my grandson clothes.  Clothes for the first few months was pretty much covered by the baby shower.  Listen kid, I'm sorry about that cute little lion on the butt of your pants.  You can pee on it if you want.   :hihi: 

My college housemate texts me, what's the names of the guys from Sweden?  She's taking a writing class and writing about a backpacking trip we took when we graduated college.  The only thing I remember about them was they always wanted to share your cigarette.  I will give you one if I can just smoke this one by myself!  They weren't having it.  We were out for six weeks, something happen almost everyday on that trip.  You're 21, you know, adventure just happens.  Reminds me though I haven't told her who Jesus is or probably is.

We were early meeting friends in Tao so we decided to take the long way and go by Vegas.  Coming down through Utah, Nevada, somewhere in there we pass Jesus hitching on the side of the road.  Wasn't just me, broad daylight, we both saw him. The hair, the white robe, you know Jesus when you see him. Yeah, we're not picking that up.  About 45 minutes later, there he is again, hitching on the side of the road.  We never stopped.  How many Jesuses can be out here?  Kind of freaked us.  Many years later I'm talking to Dizzy's aunt.  Turns out it might have been her brother.  Something he was doing about that time and the area he was in.   :hihi:  So not Jesus, probably Dizzy's uncle.  Small world.

Kind of nice she remembers that trip too as our greatest adventure.  Not many people get to have a great adventure in life.

The guy who runs the business for supplies to grow pot   :hihi:  The first time I went in there to get a gift card, they had never done one before.  Took them 20 minutes to figure out how they would do gift cards but they were out of paper so he just wrote it on his business card and would "remember" but would also recognize his signature on the card.  Yeah, I talked him through a back up plan.  So today, I go in for another gift card.  Out of paper again and I get the business card again.  This time for back up plan I tell him who it's for.  He works for you sometimes.  Took a second but then recognition happens.  "Oh yeah, I have to call him today to come fill the tanks."  Forgot to remind him this was a gift card, don't mention I was there.  Not to worried, this guy's a space case.

Three days of birthday parties for me.  We now know who took out my amazon list.  My birthday isn't until Monday, the big 66.  Breakfast with my daughter tomorrow.  Brunch with friends Monday and dinner with mom Monday night.  I rather like getting presents.   :D

Got one of those cooling hats.  Just how long were they going to let me walk around with it on and the price tag hanging off the top.   :hihi:  Finally saw it was there in my shadow.  Got two wind spinners and a wind chime.  Not even a hint of a breeze out there.

Has to be the best tool guy birthday gift ever.  Every week the Snap on Tool truck pulls up at the business across the street from DJ's house.  Last week he turned into her driveway.  Parked, got out, handed her husband a catalog.  Happy Birthday dear, have at it.   :D  And he did, kid in a candy store.

It's my birthday!  Having a great time.  Gave a garden tour, went to lunch with the girls, dinner tonight with mom.  People keep telling me to watch for the amazon tuck!  I'm on the hunt for a carrot cake.  If they don't have one on the menu for dinner, I'm stopping by the store and getting a whole cake.  It's my birthday and I can have a whole cake, not just a piece.  :D

No carrot cake but they had cheesecake but, I was too full to partake.  Good birthday. 

Tomorrow I'm getting myself a gift.  I popped the chain on a necklace I've worn since 79.  Didn't tell anybody I needed a new chain.  I'm kind of particular about the one I want and it's on me for breaking it in the first place.  First time I broke it, I caught in on a plant.  The last time on the pulley to the power washer.  It's been off my chest since last fall but I still feel it there.  And it's weird when I reach for it and it's not there.  Small little rose pendant with a diamond in it.  Made from South Dakota gold.  It has the pink and green colors.  The folks got it for me when I graduated college.  Nobody said I had to wear it for life but I do even when I wear other necklaces.  Don't know why, it's just my necklace.  The chain can't be fixed.  It's one of those flat herringbone patterns, very delicate.

I broke the chain right at the latch so they can fix that.  But the pendant is wearing through so they have to reinforce it.  Did not walk out of there with my necklace on my neck.

Wow, I only have one appointment on my calendar for July.  So unlike me.  Then again, I don't have my garden days or pinball nights on it.  I still have shit to do but it still looks weird to have the calendar so blank.

Speaking of pinball.  I'm working on standing with my weight on both feet instead of on my right leg.  Pretty uncomfortable but it's working.  Last few months I've been draining down the side pretty quickly.  Has to be the way I'm hitting the ball.  Made playoffs last week but came in last place.  Tonight was practice night and preplays.  Had to play all 17 machines.  Yeah my right wrist and shoulder hurt.  :hihi:  The more I hurt, the better I play.  Towards the end I'm getting multiple multi balls on the same ball.  Hit a couple of replays.  If I could only play like that every night.

Got my necklace back.  All's right again in my world.  :hihi:  Had them check the sparkly, and grandmother's engagement ring, prongs are fine.  Never would have occured to me you had to watch the prongs for wear on your ring.  Found out about that the second time I broke the necklace.  I was in danger of losing the stone.  Cleaned my ring and it caught the light coming home.  It just sparkles, throws little lights out.

My college housemate finished the story.  Sent it to me.  I'll read it in a bit, might share it.  How much of the Greybull Wyoming story is she telling?  That's where we ran into the Swedish guys.  Remember I'm 22.  Didn't have the good graces to drink, puke and pass out.  I went straight into blackout.  You know if I can out drink the cowboys, I'm going to be in the middle of it.  There's a bull rider in this story.  Ends with a buffalo.  As she says, it's mostly true.  I'm thinking, it's edited in case the kids see it.   :hihi:

Yeah the edited version.  We were stuck there for a week and a half.  The Chrysler Dealer had only been open a week.  The second time we saw that bullrider a truck pulled up, the back hatch came down and he rolled out.  :hihi:  We went to Cody with the Swedes and I think hitched back.  That buffalo came running out of the woods, in the dark and we missed him by inches.  There was no time to scream.  There's a couple of cowboys missing from that story and the pot plant in the police station window.  But here it is.  I'm glad she enjoys writing.  That was a free lease car my dad got through work.  I bought a new car when we got back.

Stuck in Greybull

“Get a horse!!” the voice yelled at us as we stood with our backpacks, thumbs out, on the side of a two-lane highway in the Wyoming sagebrush.  The laughter spilling out of the pickup windows as it zoomed out of sight stung.

Cindy and I were on our ‘big adventure’, having just graduated from the University of Missouri.  We were taking the summer off, having saved up a little cash and armed with our parent’s gas credit cards. Her father, an executive at the local Chrysler manufacturing plant, had gifted my college roomie with a shiny new 1979 red Dodge Omni hatchback, which had now stranded us in the middle of nowhere.  Surely, a couple of college girls next to a broken-down car would cause a chivalrous cowboy to stop and offer aid.  We certainly didn’t expect to be heckled.

With no other vehicles in sight, we resigned ourselves to begin walking toward the town we could see miles in the distance.  The sun beat down on us as we trudged along the gravel shoulder, the backpack straps digging into our shoulders, the road shimmering in the heat.  A black vulture circled lazily overhead, slowly rising in the cloudless sky.

In the distance, we heard an approaching vehicle and whipped around to stick out our thumbs.  A huge land yacht of a pink Cadillac convertible appeared over the top of the ridge and pulled over for us.  A friendly voice with a decidedly foreign accent asked us if we needed a ride.  Tossing our packs in the cavernous trunk, we scrambled into the back seat of our new friend’s car.

Our saviors, Per and Nils were also ‘discovering America’.  Tall, slim, impossibly good-looking blue-eyed blonds, they had completed their mandatory 2-year service in Sweden, flown to New York and bought the used Caddy.  Planning to travel wherever the wind blew them, they eventually wanted to end up in San Francisco, sell the car and fly home.

They waited for us at the lone auto-repair shop in town as Cindy arranged for the car to be towed there.  Having passed a mom & pop camping spot—The Green Oasis, we all decided to double back and see if we might get a spot there for the night.  As we checked in, we asked the kindly owner if we could give the repair shop their business number so we could be contacted when the car was ready.  She readily agreed to let us know if they called.

Shaded by large maple trees, the tent area, with carefully tended grass, was the lovely oasis it claimed to be.  We pitched our tents, unloaded our packs, and settled in to wait for the update on the car. 

A little later, our hostess, Mrs. Meyers, came out to call Cindy to the phone.  The auto-repair shop had an update, which turned out to be unfortunate news.  Although the car was completely under warranty, it was so new that there weren’t any replacement parts IN THE STATE! They were going to have to get them from Denver.  Oh, and they would be coming by Greyhound bus.  But wait, there’s more, because it was a Friday, they didn’t expect it would be here anytime before next Tuesday. 

So, we here were, stuck in Greybull Wyoming for the duration.  Time to explore.  Evidently, this small town of under 1800 souls had 5 bars and 1 stoplight.  Cindy and I strolled down the street to the nearest watering hole and stepped inside to the cool air of the windowless concrete block building.  Our eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness lit only by a myriad of neon beer signs lining all four walls.  The familiar dive bar smell of stale beer and old cigarette smoke filled the air.  The requisite dead-animal heads hung dustily over the back of the long bar that stretched the length of the building with an assortment of beads and ladies’ lingerie hanging from their antlers.

Packed with all sorts of cowboy types with tight fitting Wranglers, tucked-in snap button shirts and huge silver belt buckles, we quickly learned the annual county rodeo was in town for the weekend.  Pushing our way to the bar to order a drink, one of the locals struck up a conversation with us.  He was a rodeo clown—steering the broncs and bulls away from fallen riders.  Did we want to come to a party tonight?  Well, sure—what else were we going to do?

Arriving at the address where the party was taking place, we could hear country music blaring from the single-wide trailer.  John, who invited us, stepped out of the group around a roaring bonfire in the front yard, greeted us warmly and introduced us to his friends—mostly bull riders.  They were all drinking heavily, he explained, because they wanted to be hung over when they came out of the gate tomorrow at the rodeo.  They justified that if you were feeling bad from drinking too much, you didn’t have time to be scared. Who were we to argue with that logic?

The night wore on with enough alcohol drunk that the testosterone level was getting a little out of hand for Cindy and me.  We decided to reconnoiter in the bathroom as all girls are wont to do.  Outside the door, we heard a loud whoop, and woosh—an arrow fired from a crossbow came through the bathroom wall.  Time to make our exit before someone gets killed!

We headed back to our campground tent, and fell asleep wondering about the sanity of those cowboys.  Was that typical of most rodeos?  As city girls with no frame of reference, we just hoped for the best outcome for them—no injuries and good ride to show off their latest trophy to the ‘buckle bunnies’.

The rest of our stay was uneventful.  Our Swedish friends moved on to visit Cody and parts west.  We got the call late Tuesday that our car was repaired and ready to go.  Our hosts, Mr. and Mrs. Meyers, bid us farewell with Mr. Meyers giving us a lift to the repair shop.  Even though it was getting dark, we decided to hit the road as we were supposed to meet other friends in Lake Tahoe and didn’t want to miss them due to our delay. 

Speeding down a deserted winding road free of the tourist hoards in Yellowstone, we’re singing along to an Eagles song on the radio trying to stay awake.  Out of the darkness, our headlights suddenly illuminate a bison standing in the middle of the road.  Slamming on the brakes, both of us screaming at the top of our lungs, I pulled up with just inches to spare in the newly repaired car that is smaller than the animal now staring at us.  He slowly lumbered off, and we waited until our hearts stop pounding to even attempt to speak. 

“What next?!”, Cindy exclaimed.  I didn’t know then, but we had plenty more adventures ahead of us before we headed back to the reality of finding our first ‘real’ jobs.

So we did make it down to Tao.  House behind every tree.  And somewhere in there we saw Jesus.  :hihi:  We were meeting up with some of our other college friends.  They were on a similar adventure but they took the southern route and headed home from there.  We continued out to LA and then back through the south.

Greybull, Wyoming was my runaway to city for a long time.  Prince played there.  Some girl won a contest.  It's a little oasis in the great American plains.  The dust bowl had happened 40 years earlier than when I got there.  Nothing better to do while we were stuck there so we hiked out onto the plains.  Kind of like a dessert but grasslands.  Not much grass where we were but it was trying to come back.  Mostly soil erosion, canyons cut into the dry earth.  You get out there and it's open as far as you can see and further.  Kind of like looking out on an ocean but you can see farther.  The vastness of it is humbling.  You are a spec out there.  The town has the Big Horn mountains to the east and the great Rockies to the west.

Coming into Denver from Kansas you understand why they put Great in front of the Rockies.  It's like boom, mountain range.  There's no gradual increase to height there.  You see them from miles out.  Kansas is totally flat, no hills, nothing to see.  Best driven across in the dark if you have the nerve to run over rodents skittering across the highway the whole way.  Flat out, hate Kansas.  It's why we went up through Nebraska, through the Dakotas, over to Wyoming with a quick stop in Denver for a wedding.  Somehow we were in Montana to see some of her relatives.  And somehow we got word our friends were a week behind getting to Tao.  Don't know how that happen as there were no cell phones then.

We were all over the place out there.  Stopped to take overnight hikes, see points of interest, the Corn Palace isn't worth it, visit family and friends.  We were gone six weeks.  I was worried about my cat.  Feeling like I need a place to put my tent for a while and gather all my shit together.  I was homeless at that point.  Moving back from college to the folks house until I got a job.

 :hihi:  So I googled Greybull.  Still only have one stop light.  Featured attraction.  https://townofgreybull.com/

Why do they make jeans out of stretchy material these days?  Hate that.  My pants keep falling off down.

Watched a documentary on The Farm.  1500 people left California in a bus caravan back in the 70's and for 15 years made it work.  Knew nothing about farming but ended up making advances in organic farming, solar power, natural childbirth, helping people in other countries and veganism.  Two girls who were raised there for a while did the documentary.  In the end the one girl who worked for MTV got cancer, no insurance.  This is years later and people from the commune sent her cards and money.  One of their things was to take care of each other and they continue though blown to the winds.

Forgot I can watch the great courses through the library.  College professors lecturing on different things.  Started watching a 24 episode on Archeology.  Visited Pompeii and Troy so far.  The professor said what struck him was that how little society has changed since those times.  True but maybe his interpretation of how society functioned then is based in his experiences in current society?

You can tell by the tone of the voice right away when something is wrong.  "Okay can you go in the ambulance with him and I'll come get you and take you back to your car when you know what's going on."  She was at the eye doctor with her eyes dilatated and couldn't drive when he started to feel funky.  I've handled many crisis calls so I can think through them pretty quick.  Thing is, you're here and they are there.  Not really much your immediate action can do.  Start thinking who there can do something, what needs to be done now and on scene.  An uber could have got to her quicker then me but she needs a cool head.  Not my personal crisis, I can be cool headed.  :hihi:

No way he's not getting admitted.  He's one step away from needing a heart transplant.  No need for me to run over any time soon.  Check up on them and the ER is running heart tests.  "Want me to go by and let out the dogs?  Those coded locks on your house come in handy.  I know the routine, on it.

Know in a crisis, there is a lot of time where you're just not doing anything but waiting for it to resolve itself.

That was interesting, how do archeologist know where to dig?  If you have a straight line in the earth where the plants grow better, might be a ditch.  Grow worse, might be a wall underground.  Pottery pieces don't decay but rises to the top of the soil.  During a survey of an area, a group of people walk a straight 100 yards.  They click on a clicker how many pottery pieces they see every ten feet.  When you are in the middle of a city where more people were, you have more pieces.  The edges of the city have less.

There's more technology based ways but eventually you have to get down and play in the dirt.

Watched one on the Mesopotamia area.  Not a part of the world I'm familiar with but there are cities unpon cities.  No idea how they know a certain ruler was in power in 600 bc.  I always thought people didn't live very long in those times but into 70's and 80's kept popping up.  They discovered two stone tablets that talk about a great flood and compare it and other things to what is in the bible.

Once again history is recorded by wars.  We are the waring planet.  Pictures of torturing people are thought to be propaganda.  A way to show visiting dignitaries what would happen if they crossed them.  Not so much sex in the pictures from this time.  Is it only the Europeans fixated on that?

I forgot Agatha Christie.  She wrote a lot of her books on site of some of these digs.  She was married to an archeologist.

Wow a washer and dryer all in one machine.  My machines are from the 90's, maybe 80's.  Don't remember what happen to them in the divorce but I might have gotten those first ones back at some point or got new when I got this place.  Anyway, still working fine but their time has to be coming up.  That would really allow me to open up some space in the laundry closet.  Maybe get fix those folding doors I can't have installed right because I can't get the dryer door to open if they are.  Hate folding doors, right after double sliding doors.  I have a door preference.   :hihi:  And they don't need to be vented.  My vent is always coming disconnected.  Would solve some of my problems.

They are front loading.  People report smell problems with those.  I can tell you with my daughter's washer, I almost fall into it trying to get the stuff out of the bottom.  I am the shrinking woman so a front loader might be nice.  Energy efficient but they take fucking forever.  I like doing laundry but I want to click that chore off my to do list for the day.  Have to pause it to add dryer sheets.  Okay, that's not going to happen.  I do not have the attention span for that.  Can load it up and start it remotely later in the day.  Like I'd trust that.  There's no running water or cooking going on in the house if I'm not there.  Wasted feature with me.  Depends how you define a smart home.   :hihi:  Extra help is good but I'm still the brains in this house.

My daughter texts me, that's a lot of formula.  It is.  :hihi:  57, 4oz bottles X 4.  Should come close to getting him to age 1 when he can go on milk.  I guess I am my mother.  She kept me fully supplied with diapers and clothes when I had my daughter.  Meant a lot then and I know it's meaning a lot to my daughter now.  And when her son has a child, she's going to be thinking, I am my mother, what can I do to help out.   :hihi:

I was going to sleep in and skip the parade tomorrow.  Now my daughter and her family are coming over and here friends and maybe my other grandkids.  Have only missed one parade in 26 years due to rain.  Guess I'm not giving this up any time soon.  Kind of nice living just down from the parade route.  And close enough to walk up to the fairgrounds.  It's just fucking hot and humid out there!

They have equipment that can scan the ground. I think metal detectorists sometimes initially find areas, then it continues from there. Sometimes, you can see history from space, lines on the ground.

We used to have a TV program, Time Team, that was about archaeology. It was popular for years, and still carries on on YouTube.

Hi there, yeah it is cool how they find this stuff.  There's an abundance of finds in the jungles of South America still waiting to be explored.

Wrap on that parade, the baby's first.  He won't remember it but he sure was taking it in.  The motorcycles caught his eye, made his daddy proud.  My daughter and their friends.  Couples with young kids and all the stuff you need to take them somewhere.  They were talking about it.  I reach in and grab the baby, "they brought a grandma".  They were all envious.  :hihi:  Take it all in folks it goes by so quick.  Lot of work and stress but I'd do it all again and many more times after that.

Looked at some prehistoric cave art in France and Spain.  They've made replicas of these caves so you can see them but preserve the original caves.   The animal paintings are amazing.  The one wall has lions hunting and the texture of the wall was used to make the animals look more life like.  That's some pretty sophisticated thinking if you ask me.  Curious, in those 1000's of animal paintings, no people.  

Always liked the cliff and cave paintings.  Lots of reasons to do that.  Wonder what they used for paint and if that's just the faded color.  These things are really old.  I know one.  I look but I never can find the one that's in my head.  It's a bird, probably a thunderbird, sitting with its' wings held out.  It's painted red and is high on a cliff wall looking out over a big, dry valley leaving a mountain range.  I had a side view of it.  My memory is fuzzy but I always think of that one.

There's a commercial of a mother and daughter shopping for the wedding dress.  Daughter loves it and mother is god awful.  I was not going to be that mother when I went with my daughter.  I just told her she would know her dress when she saw it.
We went to the store she was most excited about.  I thought cheap rags when we went in but not going to be that mom.  She found one, again cheap material, looks like a rag but I had good things to say since she kind of liked it but let's put it on the list and keep shopping.  The store I liked neither of us saw anything there or at the wedding store.  We went to the sister store to the one I liked.  They told her she could try on 10 dresses.  She was liking them and picked out 8.  One of her friends picked out the 9th and I pulled try this one on for me.  She looked at it and said okay but not much else.

She came out first in the dress she picked.  I'm thinking that's pretty close to the one I picked.  Big smiles, thank god because it's really stressful picking out a wedding dress.  She wasn't sure about the back, pretty open and really showed her shoulder tat.  Second dress was my pick.  She had this horrible look on her face.  Got on the pedestal and broke out in tears.  You know your dress when you see it.  :D  Tried on one more but no it's number two.  All the bridesmaids, because they all have to come too when you're picking out the dress, agreed.  Nobody said, that's the one your mother picked.  It was actually the only one I picked out of all the stores.

Anyway, I was washing her laundry the other day.  I can't just do one thing, like babysit the grandbaby when I'm over there for the day.  But I noticed several of her work shirts, same style I always wore.  And she likes the same kind of exercise pants I like.  Not pointing that out.  Nobody wants to be like their mother.   :hihi:

Mike's got the Camaro looking pretty good.  He's been restoring a 66 Camaro.  First year they made them.  It's a deathtrap.  He drove it here when he moved from Ohio and then started tearing it apart.  Worked on it some but then lost interest when he started remodeling the house.  So it's been about ten years.  He's got the engine mostly done.  Don't think it runs yet.  He just finished the paint job, original gold.  Got new rims and tires.  He's ordering a kit for the interior next.  What year are you doing that?  :hihi:  But it's coming along.  I don't think there will be anything original but the frame when he's done.

Finally, I'm getting my pinball game back.  I lost it when I kept draining down the side almost as soon as I shot the ball.  I changed my stance at the machine and it seems to be working.  Put up some good scores on three of the games.  Dr. No routinely kicks my ass.  Tonight, got a replay and an extra ball.  But on the older machines that I normally win on, I can't do shit.  Mars Attacks, walk of shame.  :hihi:

Finally got mom's 90th birthday party put together.  She doesn't feel like anything more than having the family over.  I have nothing in mind for decorating her yard so we are skipping that.  But to make it special, we are having a photographer come over and do family pictures.  Mom's a picture person.  I'll go along with it just tell me when to jump in and when to smile.  Not something I want on my 90th but I get the just have family over.  

I think she's more excited about spending the week with me in September than her birthday party.  She opted out of going to the GNR concert.   :hihi:  She wants to spend a lot of time with my daughter's family, see the baby.  Don't get that.  She always bitched about getting pregnant and having so many kids and now she's baby crazy.  My house is not feeble, old lady proof.  We'll probably end up spending most of the time at her place.  She has all this stuff she wants to do but I think I'll probably end up spring cleaning at her place.  :hihi:

Holy shit, the place I'm taking my mother to for her birthday lunch has Reese's Peanut Butter Cheesecake!  This could be a winner.  :D

If your Writers Guild is on strike, what do you need actors for?  I haven't really kept up with the studio business since we left California and cable came along plus now there's streaming.  Seems to me there is a lot of independant players out there to negotiated with.  The regular players aren't as powerful as they use to be.  These strikes may just be union breakers.  I don't think this round will end them but I do think the union is going to find out they ain't all that any more because who they are negotiating with are not the beginning, middle or the end of that business.  It's a different world for the unions then when the teamsters and auto unions had the companies by the balls.  I think about the only business left where a union can really make demands is the airline business.

There's so much shit out there now I haven't seen, it could be the rest of my life before I need any new stuff to watch. 

Fucking Stern pinball machines.  I was winning that game.  Kathryn was coming up on my ass and the damn machine just restarts itself!  They do that when they get overheated or when they just want to fuck with you.  Replay, Kathryn kicks our asses.  Mentions she owns that machine.  Always takes her one game to warm up on it.   :hihi:  Fuck  I got third in the replay.  Okay night, 2 firsts, a second and a third or maybe I only got one first.  You get points based on what you score.  The last game, we were all pretty close.

Mom likes Sees Candy.  It's a California company.  You can only get it here at Christmas.  The woman is going to be 90.  I have to try.  She hated leaving California.  It's the only reminder she has left.  Their website says they have special shipping to accommodate the season.  It's fucking hot and even hotter in warehouses but I click buy.  It shipped out Monday and arrived today while I was out, in the fucking heat!  :hihi:  I pick up the box from the front porch and it's cool to the touch.  They had ice packs in there and some kind of cool holding in packing around it.  Should be okay.  I shoved the ice packs in the freezer.  It has to take a 45 minute ride in the car next week.  I'm just going to repack it and wrap the box.  Surprise for mom and a surprize for me if the chocolate is intact.

Aw, Tony Bennett died.  One of the great voices, always smiling.  98 and suffering from alzheimer's.  He must be happy to be on his way.

Checking out Del James facebook page.  He went to a pinball palace in Budapest.  Games I've never seen.  Town looked pretty cool too.

I'm debating cutting my hair off.  I normally wear it up so I'm afraid to cut it off to where I can't pin it up.  But I really hate having it around my neck when I'm trying to sleep.  There's that little voice that says a woman will not shorn her hair.  I knew a woman who got shit for that.  And to that I say, I'm a woman, do not tempt me, we've been flunking that test since the garden.  :hihi:

Somebody tell Richard to stay off of 270.  Multiple land closures at multiple exits.  Totally ruined my cruise to mom's.  St Louis, they treat the highways like a race track and don't read the road signs.  Two right lands closed means get in the far left lane and stay there.  Nope, they see open road and have to ride it right up to the orange cones.  :hihi:

Mom's 90th birthday party went well.  I had the food there 20 minutes early and the people who got there early dove right in.  :hihi:  Mom's favorite KFC.

I asked mom what were some of the happy memories of her life.  The question kind of took her by surprise.  Her first was Disneyland.  "It was so clean."  She went the first year, the first one was open.  Her second was getting her tubes tied.  She was on her 4th unplanned pregnancy.  She wanted one earlier but in those days you had to have a medical reason.  Said her doctor finally agreed after she convinced him she could afford any more kids.  He blamed it on varicose veins.  And then my dad had to sign consent.  Kind of explains my mother.  She wanted to do something with her life besides raise kids and be a wife.  I can't imagine not having the right over your own body.

We did family pictures.  Okay, I'm wearing the same dress, with the same hairstyle I had when my daughter and I did pictures 5 years ago.  Besides hating pictures, that says something sad about me.  You want to see something funny, watch the adults in the family try to get the grandbabies to smile.  We were singing kids songs and everybody trying the dances.   :hihi:  They mostly just looked at us like we were weird.

And my sister has decided to leave a day earlier on her vacation and mom plans on spending an extra day with me.   :hihi:  I don't get why she is so excited to come to my place.  I have no idea what I'm going to do with her.  And I don't know what to feed her.  It's just me so I kind of just graze through out the day.  The only time I have a meal is when I go out to eat.

Music Sunday.   :D  I drink too much coffee and smoke too many cigarettes on these days.  And spend too much time at this.  Get me started on being my own DJ and I just can't leave.  "This could be the last time, I don't know."  Life moves pretty quickly, at least in my world.  Lots of stuff to do.  Duty, responsibility and obligations.  It's a bitch, I know.  But during this time, I can just shut it down and be me.  Probably where I get the energy to go back at it.  Will think about that later.

I should get this t-shirt:  It's weird to be the same age as old people.   :hihi:  If you don't look in the mirror, you forget you're old.  The body reminds you but you just deal with it.  You have to deal with the folks who like to point that out to you, you're old.  I've noticed they don't cut you any slack when it comes to what they expect you to do for them.   :hihi:  Actually, they find out you're retired and think your time is there for them to use.  Same as your younger days, get busy doing for yourself before somebody gets you busy doing for them.  It's the curse of people who like to be busy.  That and I have to use drugs and alcohol to get my ass to sit down.   :hihi:  Or what I learned when that became a problem, get physical and kick your own ass.   :hihi:  I kind of like that but drugs was easier.

All good things must come to an end.  Can't say it was fun but check cleaning the windows off my list.  I do like clean windows.  It's not that dirty of a little world after I do that.  :hihi:

The Sees candy made it from California, to my place, to mom's intact.  She was surprised.  As I was telling her that was all for her and she didn't have to share she was chewing on a piece and hiding the box in her room.  Don't think she had any intention of sharing.   :hihi:  I finally got my birthday carrot cake at mom's birthday lunch.  Happy 90th mom.  They gave her a free tart.   ???  And were out of the Reese peanut butter pie.

I have to learn how to walk a feeble person.  Mom wants to hold onto my arm for stability.  I have no idea what to do if she starts to fall.  I want to hold her arm, way too tight, to make sure she doesn't fall.  I guess if she's holding on to my arm and starts to fall, I reach across  and grab her under the armpit.  I'm afraid I would hurt her if I just grab her arm.  As it is, I have my hand on top of hers so I'm prepared to get there quicker.  I wish she'd use her cane but I get it, doesn't want to use it in public and it makes her back hurt bending over like that.

Not only do I think it's a total waste of money, now I have to wrap a 40 pound box of weights and a 30 pound workout bench.   :hihi:  How much wasted money is there in workout equipment that people never use?

The trees were going every which direction.  I lost another big branch and two trees are down in the retention basin.  People have pictures of a tornado about a half a mile from me but the sirens never went off.  Power was out for 9 hours.  That creaking tree hit Brian's roof and is still caught up in the canopy.  Leaves everywhere.  Weird because the wind never really came down to ground level.

One tree ready for the chainsaw and another to go.  Fortunately where I live we can burn in fire pits.  My brush pile is doubled in size.  The stuff over in the drain basin, we'll just drag the fire pits over and burn it there.  I still need to run up to the gardens and blow off the parking lot before the employees get there.  It's just really hot and humid out there right now.  Waiting for sunset and the crack of dawn.  The hotter it gets, the bigger the bowl of ice cream.  :hihi:

It says twitter but then there's this X?  I'm lost, did somebody tweet or did they X?

Chatty tonight.

I get a card from Susan today.  She makes her own and enjoys focusing in on that.  On the front is a sticker:  Never Forget How Wildly Capable You Are.  Inside says:  Always Be Brave!  Thank her and she tells me the sticker comes off and I can put it on something.  Makes me smile.  Reminds me more of Susan then myself.  Glad she thought those words meant something I needed to hear.

Little later I'm talking to DJ.  She's got an antique cream separator I might have a use for.  It's kind of cool, about 5 feet tall, nice yard ornament for the right spot.  Anyway, she got the same card and is immediately suspicious of the meaning.  Is Susan saying something about herself or about her?  Er, she just likes making cards and got some free stickers.  I got the same card.   :hihi:  I get it, the scanner is always on.  Don't want to miss a sign somebody is having a rough time.  Could be a parting card.  I already touched base with her.  And I did not miss that you related that card to yourself.  What's going on over there?  The scanner is always on.  Damn card.  :hihi:

That was probably the last of the thunder, darn it.  Last night's storm woke me at 3:40.  Lots of big bangs and lightning.   :D  Simone never came in.  Not even to the garage.  Tonight she's picked her spot on the couch and not budging.  She was one wet kitty when she came in this morning.  Terrapin, the bed hog, scratched me last night when I tried to go back to bed.  She was trying to get me to pet her.  She's a scary cat to sleep with.

I'd never heard this song before.  I'm surprised the Grateful Dead didn't snatch this one from Jerry Garcia.  It's a cover from the 30's and 40's.  It would be a great song with just the right amount of tease in it.  Woman's panties headed for the stage.   :hihi:  It's the Days Between on the Grateful Dead channel.  Jerry was born on Aug 1 and died on the 9th.  They play a lot of his individual work during this time.  Weezer does a song with the same title but it's not it.  Probably just a rip off of the title of the song.  Jerry started playing around with it in the 70's and still playing around with it in 90's.  The words need a frontman working it with the audience to make it a killer.  I'm surprised Elvis or Tom Jones didn't cover this, woman would have fainted.  Jerry's having too good of a time jamming with the tune and missing the sexy part of this song.  And he jams totally away from it if you ask me.  Sounds like he had to stop himself and go back to the song.  Should have been flirting with the sisters, they get it.  Get through the jam, Good Night Irene is next.  :D  Or maybe that's just my playlist.

Anyway, Don't Let Go  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyf9eLR0cRY

That was super freaky.  To see somebody on TV that should have been you.  That was Grail and my dream.  What we were trained, raised for and where we were meant to be before the alcohol and drugs sent us down different paths.

You can see the control there.  She's still working it but she got there and has been there her whole life.  They traveled the world with the military, collected their shit.  Made a home and a family.  He died last year unexpectedly and she is carrying on.  Has impeccable taste, not over done but classy and modern.  Somebody to look up to but not looking down at you.  Knows her duty, responsibilities and obligations and does it.  All around her is clean and perfect but that's just the way it is, not a burden.  She even looks like me.

I like her.  I know she's missing her husband but there's something more there.  The way she rigidly holds her body.  How she carefully poses with her arms.  Does she know she's acting?  I'm seeing simple perfection but I don't think that's what I'm looking at.  She's way too skinny and she holds back, very controlled.  I'm wondering if that need for a wine frig is the perfect hostess or I should be counting wine bottles in the trash before I'm thinking it could have been different? 

Another new song, "I'm not broke but I'm bent".   :hihi:  I hear ya.

Caught Mike outside and ask about him trying to get the Camaro started.  A few nights ago I thought I heard the rumbling of thunder but on the second round I realized it was coming from his garage.  Before he rebuilt it, the whole neighborhood knew when it roared to life.  Also smelled the exhaust.  :hihi:  It sounded like it wanted to go but wasn't getting gas.  Nice sound but it just wouldn't catch.  He got a big smile when I asked about it.  Right, it's not getting gas.  He's working through it, checked the gas line.  My guess is it's the carburetor.  They are tempermental.  He's got a new one but that doesn't mean it was built right or didn't get jolted around in shipping.  I'll go over tonight and let him talk through it with me.  Not that I know anything, just giving him somebody to talk at.  :hihi:  I'm ready to hear it turn over.

I better get on it.  Julie is actually going to make this appointment with me.  Julie and I were single parents together.  She lived across the street from me and a day didn't go by we didn't spend time together.  She found her man and moved way across town about 10 years ago.  We hung for a while but the distance increased and many missed get togethers.  Apparently, all these years she bought me little presents for birthdays and holidays.  Never got them to me or forgot them when she did stop by.  I just quit buying her gifts because it was so hard to get time with her.  Just little stuff, we'll see what she's got.

Her visit is a little sad.  She's visiting her grandson.  Her son had a baby in high school, gave it up for a adoption and committed suicide at 21.  Hence Julie's problem with spending time in the neighborhood or with me.  It will be good to see her..

It was good to see Julie.  She's still consulting with psychics about her son.  If it helps to ease her mind, I'm not going to question it.  The adoptive parents of her grandson separated and the dad died a few days after Christmas last year.  He's 13 already.  Where do the years go?

Mike liked my Camaro, the GNR race car.  He is draining the gas tank.  Nobody knows how old the gas is in that car.  And he's decide to go ahead and replace the gas tank.  It's going to be a while longer before that car runs.  Doesn't really matter if it runs any time soon.  It's a moving death trap when it does.  Something for him to fuck with.  It's no fun when it's done.

Figured out why I'm so chatty online.  It's been raining.  I normally work on my novel then.  Just haven't been connected to it, so here I am.  When I garden is when I get all my ideas.  The plants are overwatered at this point.  We've got a few days of dry weather and I'm about to get out there and go at the weeds.  They've flourished in this weather.  And really, I have to quit sleeping late and staying up all night.  My break is just about over and I have shit to do.

I have no idea what I signed up for.  The electric company installed a new smart meter on my house.  Now they want me to sign up for the energy saver program.  I get a free thermostat, $50 for signing up for the program and $25 every year I participate.  On peak days, they get to adjust my thermostat 3 degrees and send me an email saying try not to use your electric, you are getting charged more.  At least I think that's how it works,  I just wanted to get rid of the email and get to the other 20.   :hihi:  Maybe I should read through the program.  I mean this sounds too good to be true.  They can flip a switch and cut me off at anytime.  Do I really need to be worried they are going to fuck with me?  I set my thermostat at 72 and leave it there.  A little bit up and down makes no difference to me.  I can do my laundry anytime.  The price don't really matter to me but cheaper is better.  Just tell me what I need to do and I'll play along.

Beat the fuck out of myself for 15 hours, there was no way I wasn't walking into pinball and kick some ass.  :D  Lets see if I move out of the number two spot.

Moved into the number one spot.   :smoking:  I play Katherine next week.  I'm getting my ass kicked.  Short lived victory dance.

Nothing like technology to try my patience.   :rant:  My printer started printing blank pages since we had all these lightning storms.  I've patiently tried all the fixes over a series of days.  There's only so many times I can restart the computer and not have it fixed before I lose my shit.  Tonight's attempt didn't work either.  I may be giving up.  It's cheaper just to buy a new one then try to have it fixed.

Then the thermostat thing with the electric company lied to me.  They said they installed it, no they don't.  The help center even said the website saying they would was wrong and she would pass that up the chain of command.  Doesn't help me with a free install on what I just bought.  I'm pretty sure I can get my SIL to do it but I'm not talking the program up for them.

Stop fucking with me.

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That's the little guy.  He's done wearing the helmet.  He styled that helmet.

Every birthday and every holiday as a kid he kept waiting for it to be something to show he was loved.  I totally get it.  He was let down every time.  Now he acts like it's no big deal.  Yet, he gets up in the morning and wants to open his gifts from his wife right now.  I walk in the door with gifts and yeah lets open them now.   :hihi:  It's hard to tell if he likes his gifts or the celebration but if you look close, he's trying to control himself and the tears.  He won't hear from his folks today, they haven't changed.  Even though we're doing it up big, he's still waiting for them to acknowledge him.  He turned 36.

Sometimes I wonder if what we do doesn't cause him more pain.  Just a reminder of what should have been done.  I have had other kids who get mad at what we do, misdirected anger.  We can't make up for those people but understand, we appreciate you, you mean something to us.

He let himself be excited.  Texting me pictures or showing me he's using his gifts.  The pressure is over, he got through the day, they didn't contact him.  He doesn't have to wonder if they are going to let him down or maybe hope they won't.  This shit is hard to not let bother you.  And it's not like his parents can blame it on how they were raised, it's not.  I feel sorry for them, wrapped up in their own problems and missing something that could have been really good in their life.  It's nice to give your kid that great birthday with presents but it's the day to day interaction with them that doesn't cost a thing and gives your life meaning.

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A boy and his dog and his fox.  :D  Turned the big nine months.

I was thinking the other night, as much as I didn't want a cell phone, it did let me text the whole night with my daughter when she was in the labor.  And I do get pictures all the time.  And messages to come over and babysit if I'm not doing anything, usually when I'm sleeping.  :hihi:

Such a cutie with the best disposition.  In new situations he takes in the lay of the land before diving right in.  He's pretty much happy to go anywhere with you and do anything.  That's his mommy right there.  She was really into Barney.  He's into Miss Rachael, kids music.  And we're all walking around singing kids songs with the motions.   :hihi:

Turned into music night.  :D  You know where they sing "pumped a lot of tang down in New Orleans"?  Tang is slang for gasoline.  The astronauts drank tang, an orange drink, the wonder of it's time, science improvement on orange juice, good for you.  In areas where petroleum was big business and employed everybody they called gasoline tang.

I wondering why the doctor is jumping me to the 6 month shot for osteoporosis and not putting me on the weekly pill.  I'm old but is my bone loss more than people my age?  I had mostly mild and one moderate in the left hip.  The pharmacist wondered the same thing.  But the insurance company gave special approval for it, that says something.  I've had one fracture in my whole life.  I was pretty drunk.  The guy tried to throw me over his shoulder and we both went down.  Fractured collar bone.  The side effects hit me in all the places I just kind of live with off and on, don't make them worse.

I've turned into a pretty good little pill popper.  Another advantage of the cell phone, it reminds you to take your meds.  The only pill I was ever any good at taking and really good, was birth control.   :hihi:  Those other pills you don't really know you have an issue and it just doesn't occur to you to take a pill.  There was that other pill the doctor accused me of being a junkie for.  I was taking them for migraines and they didn't help, no matter how many I popped.  He didn't really believe in migraines, let alone 3 day ones.  It was the last time I sought migraine care, just lived with them.  The guy before him just wanted to load me up with morphine.  Had that once, wonderful drug.  :D  I probably should have went that route.

Well shit, I forgot to do the laundry.  It's midnight and there are no sheets on the bed.  Music night continues.  I'm having fun with it.  :D

Came home down a dollar and up two bottles of wine.  I'm a poor gambler but a good drunk.   :hihi:

Woke up at 11.  My first thought is, anybody looking for me?  I'd like to roll over and go back to sleep but the phone's not on the charger, better check that.  There's a couple of people who are going to be looking for me today.  It's all quiet but I'm still sneaking around the house like I'm going to get caught sleeping in.   :hihi:

One bottle of wine has found a home.  I wouldn't have taken them except they were thrust upon me and the former drunk I am still thinks there's a value there that I shouldn't just drop them in the trash.

My granddaughter is turning 14.  She shyly tells me she's into self care.  She wants a facial.  Oh sweetheart, you've got a grandma and an aunt and we know what your saying.   :hihi:  She's gone girly on us and she's getting the princess treatment!  We're going to the spa.   :D

It took me a long time to write something on this guy's obituary page. He died back in 2009.  I felt it was time to say something.  Let his family know there was a time.  A time when he was headed to West Point.  The top of his class.  The rich kid with everything and a future.  Not the fuck up they knew.  I'm sure there was some relief when he died and a lot of anger.  Let that carry them through until it doesn't hurt so much.  Don't know if his kids will see my post.  It's okay to put all that aside and love him now.  There must have been some love there.  He was their dad and he was my first love.  Not everybody thinks of him poorly.  At least not back when there was a time.

This is kind of cool with the electric company and the new smart meter.  They send me a text that my usage was up yesterday.  Of course it was but I can up the temp in the house.  I was kind of cold anyway.  I'm sitting at 72.  A good 25 degrees lower than outside.  I just don't mess with where it's set but thanks for mentioning it, I will adjust it.

I have the new meter so they can adjust it automatically.  Not installing it during a heat wave just in case something fucks up there.  It came with a new power strip.  "Load sensing technology"  Not really understanding how that works but I'm to connect my computer to it.  Apparently all the other plug in stuff that goes with that won't draw power until the computer is active.  That's if I'm understanding it right.  One more shot at fixing the printer when I do that.

Was running around on their site seeing what all this new information can tell me.  Got to a chart comparing my usage month by month to the average household and energy efficient households.  I kick both their butts.  I'm way below the line until you get to December through March.  It's Christmas lights and plant lights.  I shoot a little bit above them.

Really, I don't think I needed this new equipment.  Data analysis from the new meter shows I'm not the problem.  It's the rest of "you people" running up the usage charges I'm stuck with.   :hihi:

I was just returning the kid's cable equipment because they changed providers.  I walked out of there with a new modem, 5 more cable channels and a landline for $10/month less then what I currently pay.  I don't know the number to the landline and after 6 channels I didn't know what other 9 channels to chose.  I'm not sure if they just reactivate the old landline or if they are coming out to lay a new line.  What did I do?  :hihi:

Tonight I will try to hook up all this new equipment and get the printer to work.  I can do this, right?  Not the thermostat though, not risking the AC, I need to keep my cool.

That didn't work.  Got it connected but couldn't find my modem on my internet connection.  Texted for help, really can't I just talk to you?  We were doing fine until he wanted me to screw in the black cable.  I didn't get one of those with the equipment, just the yellow phone cord thing.  My screw cable is white and goes into the router.  I was real proud to know the difference between my modem and my router.  :D  It was at that point he told me I have to have a service call.  I hope this isn't me.  Good news is they are coming first thing in the morning and I was able to reconnect the old modem and here I am.

I have a bad feeling he's going to tell me my router is too old for their new equipment.  And the guy failed to tell me there would be a one time $25 charge for this little upgrade.

Every once in a while you have to fuck with technology.  It's like diaherra, it's a mess but it will eventually turn to shit you have to deal with everyday.   :rant:

The new power cord is connected.  They failed to realize that all this tech stuff doesn't have the same size electrical plug as say a lamp.  All kinds of strange shapes that don't fit nicely in a row in the sockets.  Haven't got to the printer yet.

This commercial is annoying the fuck out of me.  New miracle drug "that will make you forget you have migraine".  Look you either have a migraine or you have migraines.  You don't have migraine, put the fucking a or s in the appropriate place.   :hihi:  There's a lot of anger that goes along with seeking treatment for migraines.  One of which is getting medical professionals to believe they are a thing that has nothing to do with your inability to handle stress, you're not psychologically crippled or drug seeking. 

My favorite one was the doctor who thought I was depressed because I broke up with a boyfriend 6 months earlier.  I didn't mention it, it was one of his questions.  Never asked me how important that relationship was to me, it wasn't.  Look I'm sitting her with my head in my hands because it hurts.  The med he gave me helped me sleep through a bear tearing up camp outside of my tent though.  You know, I might have panicked.  :hihi:

It was me.  I don't know the difference between a modem and a router.  I was replacing the wrong box.   :hihi:

I have this thing about not letting technology intimidate me.  When I worked I knew all the ins and outs about how to work our computer program, people called me for help.  Believe me it was one poorly programmed system. Lowest bidder thing.  For a while there, the tech guys knew my voice.  :hihi: After a while though, they would have to put in a work order for the problems I was finding and fix the system.  Outside of work, I'm really not that interested.  I don't keep up with shit or even check it out until it's forced upon me.  You know it's interesting but I really don't have a use for it, something more to fuck with and run up the electric bill.  I'll try but I'm a fuck up when it comes to technology.   :hihi:

I have two very large and heavy birthday presents, workout bench and 40 pounds worth of weights.  I can barely lift them and they are blukey.  They have to go in the bed of the truck to get them to the birthday boy.  I get the brainy idea to wrap them in black, plastic trash bags.  If it rains, they won't get wet and the wind won't tear birthday paper.  We can use those to clean up the party mess too, double duty.  Works except trash bags are really slippery.   :hihi:  Try to slip your hand under that or hold it against your chest.  The bag is moving around on the box.  The box is slipping out of my grasp.  It was an adventure.  "You're gifts are in the back of the truck, I'm not moving them again."

Mike had the old gas tank to the Camaro sitting in front of his chair at the garage.  The 20 year old neighbor, Devin, sitting next to him.  Mike's explaining he drained the old gas out and has most of the fumes out of it.  He just needs to blow some more air into it to make sure the fumes are out and wash it out.  Before he can stop him, Devin whips out his lighter and holds it lit over the opening to the tank.  It explodes, goes 25 feet into the air and comes back down on the hood of Mike's perfectly kept, doesn't have a mark on it, Challenger!  Where it had been a rectangle gas tank, it is now a round ball.  Fortunately, the tank stayed together or they would have sprayed with metal.

The hood of the Challenger has dents.  The windshield just got missed.  And since everybody is okay, I almost wet my pants when he told me the story.   :rofl:

Shit!  Tim told Jim last night at pinball Greg is going to get him to remodel the place and Brian is going to sell all the pinball machines off.  No more pinball league.

Okay but, Greg is only part owner in the place, surely the other investors aren't going to agree to that especially Tim doing the work.  They've taken Greg out of management because he doesn't know how to run a business.  That business doesn't have enough clients to justify a renovation and expansion and it won't even if they did it.  Tim, is not even a good used car salesman.  The people who work for him are alcoholics and drug addicts.  Any fool who hires him is an idiot.  Jim's in total agreement.  But if he knows Brian is selling the machines something must be brewing.  There's this whole little drama that goes on behind the scene at that place.

We can just join league at Two Plumbers.  Haven't ever been there but it's close enough.  Kind of like this place though.  It's small and off the beaten track.

I'm on target for the playoffs.  Sitting in second place.  One more session to go.

I'm the cool grandma.  My granddaughter got out of school early.  Got lunch and then we went to the spa.  All her friends were envious.  She got a facial, eyebrows and a haircut.  We have to go back for the highlights.  The place is a beauty school.  They have all these practice heads laying around.  They are really creepy.  So while I waited I texted my daughter pics of the heads.   :hihi:

She was telling me how uncomfortable she is with the men her mother dates.  Some examples, her mother took her along to meet a guy for the first time at his storage locker.  They got there, he had his shirt off and there was a bed in the storage locker.  Probably wasn't expecting her to bring kids along.  She complains her mother keeps inviting these first time meets directly to the house.  Her mother had her dancing with her in front of the guy who gets up and grabs her around the waist.  She tells her mother that made her uncomfortable and the mother tells her she's overreacting.  I tell her no she wasn't and to trust her instincts.  Not the first time all the alarms are going off in my head about the mother's dating choices.

She's told another adult female friend who said if anything happens, she would get a couple of guys and hunt the date down and beat him up.  Ah no, safety plan in place before that happens.  I told her to text me anytime and I would come right over or send her aunt or uncle.  Tomorrow we'll talk more about how all that will work.  How to make an excuse to lock yourself in the bathroom while you're waiting for me to get there.  A pocket full of things she can say to remove herself.  Never feel bad you're texting me, I got to see you and I'm always happy about that.  I'd have a little chat with the mother but I don't want her telling the kid not to tell me stuff.  We've had chats before when the mother tells me this stuff directly.   :hihi:

Tomorrow is the girl's shopping trip.  If her friends were jealous about today, not done yet, I'm a really good grandma.   :D

And then starting Sunday I have mom until Thursday.  No idea why she is so excited to come to my house.  She has all these things she wants to do that she can do at her place but doesn't because she says she's too old.  I have no idea what I'm feeding her.  I'm a grazer, haven't fixed a meal in years.   :hihi:  I'm hoping she doesn't trip over a cat and I return her to my sister in good shape.  My sister isn't coming back until the following Monday so I'm hoping she can stay home alone for those few days with just me checking on her Sunday.  Last time my sister went out of town, mom got her dizzy spell and I had to drop everything and go stay with her.  I just want to get in my seat at the GNR concert.   :hihi:  I can juggle everything else.  It all happens at once.

5 hours of shopping   :hihi:  I'm too old.  Here, just take my credit card and I'll take the baby outside and wait for you.  Out of all of that I got a refill for my car air freshener.  The granddaughter had a good time.  She changed into her new outfit right out of the store.  She didn't think she wanted jeans but she got a pair and several people asked her where she got them.  Never did find the bra shop but we got her covered head to toe.  Big crowds and lots of sales.  Poor quality clothing if you ask me but people were buying.

I opened up several new credit cards.  You get a nice discount when you do that and your teller gets something too.  I never active the cards, just pay the bill.  The next time I go in and make a big purchase I get another card.  They give you 30 to 40 percent discounts for opening the cards.  Put that credit score to work!

My sister texts me her slot machine screen, $13,000.   :D  I'd say her vacation is going well.

It was really nice having mom here for a few days.  We shopped and ate out for the first two days.  But eventually we did get that time where we weren't doing anything and could just relax with each other.  Have those talks that people who spend a lot of time with each other get to have.  Nothing important just those little conversations that connect you.  She really enjoyed going to the bar.  Hadn't been in one in years especially at night.  Enjoyed chatting with the pinball players, young people as she calls them.  She was ready to go home though.  I hope we get to do it again sometime.

2nd place going into pinball playoffs.  Hard tp say how I'll do in playoffs.  I haven't played Marcus all season and only a couple of times when he was brand new.  Brian usually asks if you're playing next season by now.  He also hasn't replaced one of the missing machines.  Maybe that is true about the remodel.  We'll be welcome at Two Plumbers.  It's a bigger place.  But I really do like my neighborhood bar.

Cool my sister is two hours away from home.  Gambling her way back from Wisconsin.   :hihi:  Mom was pretty tired yesterday.  My brother's family stopped in to check up on her.  She couldn't remember today if my brother came or not.  He did.  She sounded better today.  Spent the day reading.  She looks the same, sounds the same so it's hard to remember she's 90.

My daughter and I totally forgot it was grandparents day.  It's a greeting card day, no gifts.  Her father had to remind us.  I could say something really bitchy here but I'll give an example.  My daughter put a picture of him and the baby on my frame, I deleted it.

The kids installed my smart thermostat.  The electric company can now control my temperature in the house on high energy use days.  Here's the deal, they can only up me 4 times per year and they are suppose to send me $50 and $25 a year for participating.  I'm not to override them more than twice a year.  They already lied to me once but I saved $40 and got to see the grandbaby so okay.  I'm waiting for them to ask if I want to donate what they are giving me to the program where they help low income people with their energy bill but I bet they don't think of that.  I'd say okay to that.

Wasn't very kind of me to mention the deleting of his picture.  The guy has every reason to delete mine too.  I'd ask him if he did but I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.  I kind of think he would say no but he thought about it.   :hihi:  He'll still put flowers on my grave.

Pinball playoffs tonight.  Brian announced he brought in a new game.  I think Tim is full of shit about the reno.  I hurt everywhere so I should do pretty good.

Shit!  3 second places and one third and I still ended up in 3rd place.  Twice I was way ahead and the person after me came from way behind to beat me.  Hate when that happens.  Anyway, he announced the next league play so I'm in.  My wrists are shot.  Venom is kind of fun.

The county passed a property tax freeze over people over 62.  Yea, I wasn't planning on selling so that's helpful.

I missed the update on the pinball place last night.  They are remodeling and turning it into a high class bistro.  We're going to have league until they close up in maybe a month.  Brian didn't say anything about what he's doing.  Two Plumbers is opening up a new place just for pinball machines.  No word on when that will be but the location is okay for me.

In, out and I got my shot for bone loss.  Guess I'll research that on my own.  I figure at this age I'm pretty much worthless, might as well be a lab rat.  As my father use to say, once we were men, now we are mice.  He was referring to all the medical and aging aspects of life.  Personally I didn't care too much for the man aspect of life or rather woman in my case.  A lot of stress and goal achieving went with that.  Should have been a lot more happiness and living free.  I'm liking the aging part, of course I still have my health.  This is kind of like my summers during college except I have money.   :hihi:  I don't really need it but it is fun to spend.

I'm going to have to go with red hair on my grandson.  We've been debating between that and strawberry brown.  He had that helmet on for so long you didn't really notice but get him in the sun and that hair is red.  He's 10 months, happy little camper.  Almost ready for that first haircut. 

Brian announced 39 people signed up for league, holy fuck!  He's starting us tomorrow and thinks we will get in 6 to 10 sessions.  Says he's selling some of the machines.  Means he's setting the rest up somewhere.

At the start of the year I started writing down all the memorable things that happen to me this year.  I was reviewing the list because I haven't added anything in a few months.  I come across Dr. Fish.  I have no idea what I meant by that.   :hihi:  It's in between GNR tickets and the baby reaching for me.  Not a clue so I google Dr. Fish.  Oh yeah, it's when I went to the aquarium and the fish ate the dead skin off my hand!  That was so weird.  :hihi:  It's true, you can find anything on google, even your memories.

Interesting what is going on in Hawaii with rebuilding and climate change.  They are in the middle of a 20 year drought for the low lands and 75 percent more rain in the mountains.  People are wondering if they should rebuild.  Apparently the towns were built up so fast with no real plan and people would like to have a plan now.  Working on a good plan could take years and where would people live?  Where would people work?

Danielle stopped by to pick up some baby clothes I scored for her.  She hasn't been here in a long time.  She was telling me how great a the new underwear gift I go her when she gave birth the first time.  She already went out and brought herself some new ones for after this birth.   :hihi:  she plans to buy all her friends that git.  I know how you felt kid.  Best gift I ever got too.

That hasn't happen in a while.  I was cooking dinner tonight and got dizzy.  I think it's just fluid in my ear I can kind of feel it.  I'm always wondering if it's a sign I'm going to have a stroke.  Dad had something similar a month before he had a stroke.  You know, I'm just not ready for that.  There have been times where I didn't much care, would have been a relief to have it all end but not now.  I was watching Tina Turner.  She believes in reincarnation.  She wanted to come back as a teacher or rather a life coach.

I guess the little electric car I grabbed off the side of the road is a big hit.  I couldn't really tell from their expression if they wanted it.  Because you know that's what everybody needs is gaintantic child's toy.   :hihi:  I thought I saw a gleam in Caleb's eye but they weren't really saying anything.  They put it on the charger and had to wait to see if it worked.  Okay, it worked this morning but didn't move.  Caleb thought maybe you had to sit in it.  Of course my daughter tried.   :hihi:  Not with her in it but it does work.  Still waiting to hear if they put the baby in it or the dog.  I think they might be outside playing with it.   :hihi:

So Mike, the Republican/alcoholic next door.  Earlier in the week I hear a woman's voice in his place late at night.  Look out and there are no strange cars in his driveway.  This is not going to be good.  All his choices for that are bad.  Not that I care, I just don't want to hear him whine about what a stupid thing he did.  Turns out it's his ex wife from Ohio, one of the bad options.  Not really wife, they were never married but might as well have been.  He got the rehire here at Boeing just in time to put an end to that relationship.  What he said but you could tell the guy was still hung up on her.  It's been over 10 years.  He periodically bitches about her and her kids and distanced himself from them.  So I run into him outside the other night.  He sheepishly tells me she is here and has been all week.  Hey, I am not judging you.  I've always said positive things about her, you're the one who made the decision to leave her, move away from all your friends and come here.  You never even went back, you wanted to be away from there so bad.  He starts talking, his dad likes her, she cooked for him, he's thinking about retiring, might move back, she's leaving the next day.  He says all this in a quiet voice.  He's trying to decide if this is his plan.

Oh no, you're not running all this by me to make the decision.   :hihi:  Totally on you.  I know this guy well.  He's waiting for me to take a side so he can have an argument.  He likes turmoil in his life.  You belong with those crazy folks in Ohio.   :hihi:  But he left them and never went back.  I really can't say what's best for him.  I'm waiting to see what he thinks.  We have some of the same themes going on around living alone and dying alone.  All that aside, he dropped her at the airport.  Not a good sign and if he has no immediate plans to get together with her again, not a good sign for the move back to Ohio working out in the long run. 

He called me.   :hihi:  I wasn't going to ask but I was curious.  He's leaving it open to consider again in two years but they have no plans to get together again anytime soon.  That's a no go.

It's good to see the ex but I can tell you, it doesn't take long before you're remembering why they are the ex.  I do think he might be happier back in Ohio.  All his friends are there.  He showed up here and went for the overtime money.  He's on second shift so he basically goes to work and comes home.  I'd miss him if he moved.  It's nice having someone my own age and male right next door.  We've never had a thing for each other so there's not that complication. 

She's already called him.  I wondering why she came in the first place and what she's thinking.  It took her a long time to let him go.  She's got a lot of crazy ass shit going on in her life.  Maybe it's just Ohio people or the people he hung with but they all seem to have a lot of crazy ass shit going on.  They've mellowed over the years.  It's mostly who is dying of what at this point but Ohio people seem to die early or again, just his friends.  Mike's asked me to drive with him to Ohio, while I would like to meet these people once but for a very short period of time.   :hihi:  I do not want to party with them.  I would hate to be trapped with them even for just a weekend.

The kids have taken the baby to urgent care.  His first trip.  He hasn't wanted to eat all day, his left ear and inside of right hand are bright red.  He has what appears to be a couple of bites or hives.  Can't decide if he's wheezing at times.  Other than that, he was his normal little self.  I watched him from 8 to 5 with dad in the house with different things popping up throughout the day.  My feelings, if you're worried, go to the doctor.

False alarm.  The doctor just think it's bug bites.  I recommended they kick his stuffed fox out of the crib.  And he finally ate what he was suppose too.

I know it's not Sunday but I need a music day.  "Don't Let Go" seems appropriate start.  Wow, do I have a lot going on.  It's all making progress and more keeps getting piled on.  In my fast pace to get it all done, I'm doing a few back ups.  Wait, don't we need to do this first before that?  I do not want to do anything twice, one and done!  I'm pretty sure "I'll Stop Working When I'm Dead" applies to me, might be my theme song.   :hihi:  I probably look pretty close to dead but "better to burn out than fade away".

I've found this new site to shop at, Temu.  A bunch of junk for nothing.  A lot of it I've seen on Amazon but way below their price.  If this is your thing, get there quick because Amazon is going to be looking at buying them out, imo.  Once you sign up plan on getting spammed daily from them.  Don't believe it when they say free shipping if you order within the time frame.  They always have free shipping.  Or the "today it's at a big discount".  It's always a big discount.  I get on there and buy all kinds of shit, mostly as little gifts for other people.   :hihi:  I don't need any more shit. 

Well, I've 'Taken a Melody', time to get back at it.

"The video games say play me
Face it on a level but it take you every time
On a one on one
Feeling running down your spine
Nothing gonna save your one last dime 'cause it own you
Through and through"

 :hihi:  Jim had a very bad night on Toy Story.  I'm moving to the top of the pack and he's moving down the ladder.  He was drinking at pinball.  I never noticed he was drinking too much but he said he was.  Apparently going back to drinking ain't helping.

Oh, they are starting on the neighbor's new deck.  Looks like there won't be any sleeping in the next few days with the pop of the nail gun to wake me up.  Not a noise you want to hear first thing in the morning.

Amazon sent me a Christmas toy catalog.  When did they start sending out catalogs?

Susan says that Temu site uses slave labor in foreign countries to produce their products.  You can read more about them here:  https://time.com/6243738/temu-app-complaints/#How%20Temu%20Could%20Affect%20The%20U.S.%20Economy

Time for me to get shit together.  The house wasn't really dirty since I haven't been here but I wore my muddy shoes in the house.  It dried and there was dirt every where.  Besides cleaning house, got the laundry done and the car cleaned.  The car is loaded with shit to drop at the garden.  Scheduled for tomorrow at 8.  And I need cat food.  Scheduled for tomorrow on my way to babysit.  The pot harvest needs cleaning up.  Ugh, retirement has turned into work.   :hihi:  I swear, the next person who texts me before 7 is getting a text from me at 2AM.  That's when I'm up.  I'm retired!

Oh god damn it.   :hihi:  My friend Susan has my old job and is taking care of her aging mother.  She needs all the time out with friends she can get.  So when she invited me to the Taylor Swift movie because they had an extra ticket I said yes.  I know nothing about Taylor Swift, her music, other than she's a big name out there now and dating some player on the Kansas City football team.  I should be at the garden that day, we have a lot going on, but it was close enough I could get things going there and cut out early to meet them for the movie.  I get a text from Susan, the place that was showing it had to cancel but, she bought new tickets for us at the same time over by her.  Wait that's 40 minutes from me and I was only going because they needed somebody for that ticket.   :hihi:

And my other friend, DJ, who always has to make some negative comment about something I'm doing, wants to go to the outing with our plant group this month.  I wasn't going to go because I've been there several times and didn't feel like being with her.  Figured she wouldn't want to go because she's busy and it's a long way out there.  No, she's really looking forward to it.   :hihi:

I really miss the covid quarantine.

New parents have no sense of humor when it comes to that kid.  My daughter tells me the grandbaby has his first tooth coming in.  I ask her if she can tell if he's going to need braces?   :hihi:  She answers back, it's too early to tell.  Maybe she'll get that joke when he's in middle school.

Sometimes freaky stuff happens to me.  Generally when I've been outside a lot and my allergies are going haywire.  I'm don't try to say what it is, understand it, control it, I just go with it or sometimes shut it off.   :hihi:  

Imagine my surprise this morning when the weather lady says we're having a solar eclipse next Saturday.  It was just the other day I got a couple of brain nugs about an eclipse.  Really, how often do you think about eclipses in your daily life?  Was it something I dreamed about?  Came up because the last time my daughter and I were on vacation together there was an eclipse?  I'm having some issues in that relationship.  I just noticed the nugs, the connection was foggy, moved on.  And I got another nug a day later.  It kind of bothered me but I couldn't reach back for what that was all about.  Didn't try real hard because why think about eclipses?   :hihi:  Keep your focus and move on with what you are doing, right?  Forget about it.

So I'm sitting there this morning with my first cup of coffee, barely awake when I hear her say something about an eclipse.  What, wait, when?  Wasn't I just pushing that away?  Is this something freaky?  Try as I might, I can't get back the original brain nug.  I feel like saying, could I have that again, I'll pay attention this time.   :hihi:  No use.  I guess I will find out Saturday if something is going on.  I already have a not normal day in my life that day, the Taylor Swift movie, with a friend and an acquaintance I haven't seen in a while.  If it's something, a little bit of a freaky connection, I'll find out then.

Yeah but wait, those freaky things normally have nothing to do with me.  Something going on out there.  What would a solar eclipse, other than on that day, be pointing to?  Something to ponder or not?   :hihi:  Patience, Saturday will get here.  In the meantime, I have a lot going on.

Generally I don't find shit on Amazon prime days but I'm buying them out this morning.   :hihi:  Nice to get a start on Christmas shopping.

The souvenir drink cup at the Taylor Swift movie is $12 and the popcorn bucket is $15.  My friends are buying both.   :hihi:

So it's Saturday.  Freaky stuff or mere coincidence?  Partial eclipse, two things?

I should have been paying attention.  My people were up for awards I totally forgot about and at least one of them won.  Okay, maybe but not feeling right, not it.

I thought figured it out last night and was kind of waiting to see if I was right.  I randomly asked my daughter if Danielle had had her baby.  No, she's not due until the 21st.  Danielle stopped by the house right around the time of the first eclipse incident.  Said something about it had been a long time since she had been here.  And I knew when I typed "these things rarely have anything to do with me", I was wrong.  So no surprise when my daughter text, Danielle's water broke and she's at the hospital.

Happens all the time, we'll not all the time.  It gets to be too much when it's jumping and just a little freaky, denial is your best defense, I shut it down.  I haven't won the lottery so mere coincidence works well if somebody notices.   :hihi:

The Taylor Swift movie annoyed the fuck out of me.   :hihi:  It was like watching a stripe tease except they didn't take their clothes off.  How many times can she look at you from the corner of her eye and the girls strut down the stage?  The dance routines got repetitive real quick.  When she's not playing sex kitten with a hint of bad girl, she's a fairy tale creature in the woods and a little I'm full of love person.  Oh yeah, suck in those 14 year old girls.  Most of her costumes were well done.  Not like Carrie Underwood's were I'm wondering if she sewed them together herself.  They forgot to comb her hair between costume changes.  It was getting a little fizzy.  The fairy tale costumes I think she bought at the hippy store, not a good material in them.   :hihi:  The light show was really good.  Like you saw at the opening ceremony at the Olympics but after 40 minutes I felt like enough of that.

First time I was concerned about what she was singing to teenage girls.  I'm pretty sure the song was about killing yourself after a relationship didn't workout.  Oh hell no, not that message.  Think she had a couple songs about death.  They were sucky songs so I don't think they have too much appeal.

Audience pictures were what you would expect to see from young girls at a Beatles show, not quite that extreme but they were excited, crying and adorning.  All the boys were probably gay.  My friends thought it was great.  I'm thinking they've lived a sheltered life.  :hihi:  That's a good thing but maybe they should have been a little more adventurous if at this age you're thinking that's great.  I'm not asking.

We went to the early show, mostly older women buying the cups and popcorn buckets.  No crowd interaction, they sat there.  When we left, there was several tables of probably middle school girls making friendship bracelets with those little beads.  Those were highlighted in the movie several times towards the end.  I'm sure they won't be just sitting there watching.

I wasn't impressed, wasn't going to spoil it for my friends.  I could make good comments on the costumes and the light show.  They were talking about which songs they loved and want to hear again.  I was totally lost there.  Not my thing but I have to say Taylor Swift worked it from opening to closing of a long set.  She knew she was acting, performing.  I kept wondering how that sits with her when she's out of the public eye.  It's one thing to feel your song and move to it.  It has to be another thing to have your song staged and told how to act through it.  I don't think I saw any where in the songs where I wasn't watching an actor.

Hope I'm not overstepping my grandparent role in suggesting my SIL get this for his son.

(https://relaxpact.com/cdn/shop/products/DadToSon_1_2000x.jpg?v=1687491001)

He wants him to travel the world.  The kid would probably never use it but it's a nice keepsake.

I should be concerned.  It's only a little spot on my nose and it hasn't been there very long.  The dermatologist took a biopsy.  First time I've ever had my nose numbed or a biopsy.  Nothing like when they numb your teeth and your nose gets it.  Can't even tell.  The bandage they put on it though,  :hihi:, big, round, white dot towards the front of my nose on the side.  I laughed out loud when I looked in the mirror.  I have to keep it bandaged for a week.

Otherwise, I passed my skin cancer screening.  Major damage to the skin on my arms from the sun.  Yeah I can see that.  She wants me to keep them covered whenever I'm in the sun.  Can't say I didn't have that coming.  I'm out there a lot.  Come back in a year for another screening.  I get the biopsy results in a week. 

Had to get a battery for the car.  Back when I was a poor college student, I needed one.  Couldn't afford a new one but the guy offered me a used marine battery.  I thought, military battery, that has to be good!  Yeah it was a boat battery.   :hihi:  Ran that car till I got out of college.  And my ignorance still makes me smile to this day.

My nose band aide today has a little purple sloth on it.  Of course it lined up right at the tip of my nose.   :hihi:  People are looking at me funny.

Playing some pissed off pinball tonight.  Slaming those balls around.  Two first places and two second places.  Hate to stand back and watch somebody fly by me on the third ball.  Love to hear that replay pop and I'm only on the second ball with a extra ball waiting to get played, Mandalorian.  The Godfather, nailed that shot into the machine gun every time, my shot for the night.

Woohoo, scores are out.  3 out of 4 of the games are my high season scores.  I'm number two in my division.  I'm going to play pissed off more often.  I wasn't pissed off, I was just playing like I was.  Jim and Danny are both beneath me.  Bill, always the gentleman, is number 1.  And he was just saying it had been a long time since we played together.  Well, I'm after your ass now.  He's only got 2 points on me.

Came home to three large boxes and one small one from Amazon.  Christmas buying is well under way.  I'd like to say my daughter is pretty much done but she only has stuff on her list all good homeowners, mom's and wife's have.  There's going to be some last minute stuff just for her.  I'm already breaking my word on a book and a check for the grandson until he knows better.  Their small family birthday party has exploded too.  :hihi:  I've never been one to be practical when I'm celebrating.

Precancerous.  I go back the end of November to have the little bit left freezed off.  Not sure what that all means except I'll be wearing a bandaid on my nose again.  It's amazing how many people offer me a skin colored one.  I'm wearing ones with cute little animals on them.  I like them.  Gives me a chance to smile at myself when I look in the mirror and starts a conversation with people.  The grandbaby just had to to touch my face yesterday.

So fucking close.   :hihi:  $100 away from my savings goal.  From here I start making withdrawals.  No contributions till after Christmas.  I'll get it back up there but so fucking close.  I swear the fate fairies are messing with me.  The closer I get, the more bills I didn't expect start popping up.  It's just an arbitrary amount I figure my daughter can use to bury me and keep things going until her inheritance comes in.  So I guess good news there.  Can't die yet, can't afford it.   :hihi:

So I was late to the GNR concert because I was looking for things to put on my Christmas list.  I'm going to try those VR goggles.  Not sure what I'm suppose to be looking for so I settled for a cheap pair.  I would like to watch some of those hiking videos they have and visit some locations.  I hope they have those, haven't really looked.  Also not sure what I should be putting down for a new printer but I put a good priced one on the list.

I need a good slicing knife.  I screwed mine up in the dishwasher.  And some coffee.  Couldn't find the one I got at Graceland.  Any Canadians?  How's Tim Horton's coffee?  Figured he put his name on it so it should be good.

Having a hard time coming up with stuff to put on there.

OMG, how cute is that?
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81ga7WjrV8L.__AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_FMwebp_.jpg)
"Owl are used in Feng Shui in a variety of ways, create good Feng Shui energy in your home. They also can strengthen one's aura while protecting the energies from being sapped by others. The Owl also considered a strong symbol of luck,wisdom,health and loyalty."  Oh yeah, I need him.

Grandbaby's first trip to the zoo.  I had never seen these monkey's before.  Not sure what they are but I call them hippie monkeys.  :D
(https://scontent-ord5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/394291665_10168182935875437_8698597416121499901_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg&_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=t3hrAXycnsMAX-os2CQ&_nc_ht=scontent-ord5-1.xx&oh=00_AfDgbr_B5KDz68MASZCfIWjn3XPRC83vmDh177Kn9iPtig&oe=65390AC2)

Was that Mick Jagger playing Sister Kevin on SNL?  :hihi:  Has he been on the show all night?

Guess I should have been paying closer attention:

Mick Jagger and Lady Gaga decided to pay a visit to Studio 8H!

On Saturday, the 80-year-old rock icon and the 37-year-old singer-songwriter made surprise cameos on Saturday Night Live.

Jagger appeared in a sketch with host and musical guest Bad Bunny, who played a Spanish soap opera actor filming an episode in which his villainous character repeatedly slaps his brother in the face.

During the taping, Jagger enters in a white suit and wearing a fake mustache and shockingly revealed to be the two men’s father. The scene reaches its climax when the rocker’s character slaps both of his sons.

Right after the commercial break, Lady Gaga appeared and introduced Bad Bunny’s first musical performance of the night. The Puerto-Rican rapper sang his new song “UN PREVIEW,” which was released last month.

Feel for my daughter.  Her week vacation is over.  One week off just isn't enough when you're working.  We did have a little chat.  She's as clueless as I am.  We both have a clue as to what is really going on with the SIL, don't want to say.  She's on it and I'm staying out of it.  They did do well as a couple at the zoo.  They still love each other.  Lots to work out in those early years especially when the kids start coming and the bills start piling up. I wish them well.

The grand baby started crawling.  He's mobile!   :D 

Wow, I'm almost done Christmas shopping.  So far everything has been on sale.  I hit the buy button a little too quick on that weight lifting equipment.  Did that for his birthday too.  That shit is heavy and too big to wrap!  :hihi:

Not really liking my daughter's gift choices.  All practical, useful and completely boring.  She'll send me the link or two to something non amazon closer to Christmas.  She needs a little spoiling.

The boys stocking stuffers are these little LED handheld lights.  They're flat so it fits a little better in places.  When don't you need a little more light on something?  And they all get Christmas coins.

Mom's Santa gift is deer repellent.   :hihi:  She's always complaining the deer get her hostas.  She always uses mothballs and ignores what I tell her.  I'll get her Sees Candy from me.  She hasn't figured out who gets her a santa gift but she probably will now.  On the other hand she is 90 so maybe not.

Aww, Matthew Perry died.  Best known as Chandler Bing from Friends.  He struggled his whole life.  Don't know his story, just heard things along the way.  He has a book, don't plan on reading it.

When they say weighted blanket, they mean weighted!  I'm not sure why my granddaughter wants one of those.  I would feel claustrophobic with that on top of me.  I want to be wrapped up in soft and warm.

That's amazing, my wound is almost healed.  I started taking 500 mg vitamin C and 25mg Zinc.  I had this problem before where my sink tears easily, I get blood under the skin from the slightest bump and it takes forever for a wound to heal.  Has only been a week since I've been taking the vitamins.  That wound had been open for at least a week.  Was just looking at it Saturday thinking it was looking bad.  I've got a couple of spots that healed over but the skin was like a white scab.  That's healing too.  I forgot to ask the doctor how long I take this.  Before, at some point, I quit taking them and I was good until last year.

(https://www.eatingonadime.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/eod-reindeer-pancakes-3-683x1024.jpg)

Pancake art! Who knew?  I feel a whole new world opening up for me.   :D

I like the new Stones' single, Bite My Head Off.  The new Beatles song I only got to hear part of and was okay with not hearing the whole thing.  Might get a chance to hear it again but I wasn't all that impressed.  Kind of cool you have the Stones and The Beatles with new stuff out at the same time.  Seems like old times.

It's a kind of have to.  The neighbor is starting her own baking business out of her house.  She gave me some free samples so I should order something.  And she does make cheese cakes.  And I am having a garden meeting at my house.  Only four people including me so only one cheese cake.   :hihi:

They've been playing Christmas movies all day.  Never liked Home Alone and Christmas Vacation.  How many times will they show those?  I've got the oldies channel this year.  Give me some Holiday Inn and White Christmas.  :D  There's a song in one of those movies, "we'll follow the old man where ever he wants to go, long as he wants to go."  Reminds me of my dad.  It's for a retired general but my dad always took us off on adventures.  Good guy, miss him.

I picked up Susan from the office the other night we were making candles.  There's a certain amount of quilt not being there.  Left the kids and left my coworkers.  38 years in child welfare is enough.  There's nothing nice about that office.  Who would want to be there?  It's kind of not an option until it is.  And then you come home and GNR is playing The General.  I can deal with the child abuse just not the office.  People use to ask me how do you deal with that?  The kids are easy.  They are in front of you now, are safe and you can deal with things.  The paperwork, the changing policies, lack of staff is what wears you out.

Had to go to the grocery store to get my covid shot.  They had all the Halloween candy on sale.  I got chocolate!   :D  They updated my immunization card.  She thought I might need it if I travel.  Are they still doing that?  I've kind of lost track of covid.

They have the Reese's Christmas peanut butter cups in the store!  I got the Christmas tree.

Anyway, I'm going to back off a while with the off topic.  GNR is gone, I'm not doing anything interesting and I don't really care to see what the rest of the world is up to.  I think I've babbled myself out.   :hihi:  All's well.  You know when I get bored, I always end up into something.  I look forward to a new adventure.   :D  No idea what that is.

Well, I'll miss reading your babbling updates, it's interesting.  :hihi:

By the way, I prefer the new Beatles song, it's strange and emotional at the same time.

It's just a normal life.  I find typing it out helps me to be present in, not letting the days go by.  

I still haven't heard the whole Beatles song.  You'd think I would since I'm on that channel a lot but I always seem to be pulling into parking when it comes on.

Grandson's first birthday party today.  He's such a happy little camper.  He spent the night with me last night.  His first time.  We got by on cat toys and kitchen stuff.  :hihi:  He's crawling and definately tuned into the world.

I was thinking why make a list if you're just going to do it all in the same day?  Got home and was ready to mark a lot off.  Only two things!  What's all this other shit I just hauled into the house?  :hihi:

I did hit my savings goal!  Some folks owed me money.  Celebrate that for the moment because it won't be there at the endof December.  I hit it earlier in the year but there was still along way to go so why not spend some of it?  All good purchases because taking money out of savings is a killer for me.  I'll get it back up there again but I've kind of ear marked that because there will still be a lot fo the year left and I'm not planning on dying just yet.  :hihi:  I've got my eye on the kid's shower.  They already want a new shower door.  Not going to help with that surround.  I hate those surround showers.  Look cheap and they don't clean up well.  I'm already regreting letting Craig put in fiberglass tubs in my bathrooms.

Anyway, a new shower door opened up the conversation.  Turns out my SIL hates the surround too.  Her's willing to install a new shower with his buddies if I buy the supplies.  My daughter likes the surround.  Snidely says this isn't our forever home when I tell her Caleb is up for it.  His favorite saying when she wants to do stuff.  Excuse me but you're putting Anderson windows in.  Great windows but you are paying for the name.  There's just as good of windows for a middle class home.  Those go in your expensive homes where they are expected and they are a key feature of the room.  My opinion anyway, but they aren't allowed to go to any more home shows without me.  Then again I went and I really love those metal roofs.   :hihi:  I really should be saving for a new roof.  I'm due but then again, I really hate that surround.   :hihi:

I know, get back to my to do list.

Check off Christmas cards done.  This year's Christmas stamp is the snowglobe.  They had a couple of other choices but I like snowglobes for Christmas.  My sister thinks I'm crazy for doing them now.  I'll wait to mail them but I want to get out and do Christmas stuff this year.  I have two Christmas parties, Meet Me in St Louis at the movies, a walk through the Christmas light display and zoo lights so far.  I want to be where Christmas is.

Tomorrow I plan to put up my Christmas decorations.  I'm a sucker for a Christmas tree.  My outside lights are up, ready to go on Thanksgiving night or maybe earlier if it quits raining.  Mom's tree goes up Thursday.  We're going to watch the Macy's Day parade and put it up.  I'm having a nice long holiday season.  :D

My sister sent me a Thanksgiving Day card.

It's Thanksgiving, a time for turkeys, hams and festive nuts.
But enough about the realtives.  :hihi:

I think I'll check in as one of the festive nuts.

I am the festive nut.  I did my Christmas tree in Grateful Dead Bears.   :hihi:  One GNR Christmas ornament on the left.

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it.  I'm into the Macy's Parade and Alice's Resturant at noon.  Mom couldn't find any minced meat mix so I don't get my traditional minced meat pie.   :crying:  They have it on Amazon!

Thanksgiving, not really a crisis but pivoit.  In the middle of setting up my mother's tree my niece calls.  She's too sick to host dinner.  Have the husband bring over the turkey and we've got this.  Most the food was at mom's anyway and we had the place decorated for Christmas.  Worked out just fine.  Unfortunately my grandson got home and had a 102 temp.  Thought it was because he's teething but that's high for teething.  Good news is meds bring it down.

Haven't found that new adventure yet.  Kind of the way adventures are for me.  I don't realize what's happening until I'm kind of bored with the one I've been on.  I am noticing I'm dropping a lot of tradition and routine.  Not really intentional, it's just happening.  I've noticed a few openings to get back into things I've been in before and I'm kind of shaking them off.  Nothing new has really popped up but maybe I'm just clearing my schedule and something will present itself later. 

In the meantime, I'm having trouble getting a smile on my face.  I'm okay, I'm faking it pretty well.  It's really only noticable if you look closely at me when I'm not talking to you.  But dang, those little jabs are getting harder to let roll off and I am so not present in my life.  No, not because I'm not babbling away in here.  I'm just clicking off the list of things I have to do, making those deadlines and bored with the whole thing.

Seek and you shall find.  Marsha wants me to help her screw down the planks.  Women with power tools!  I always wanted to be part of that group.  Looks like I'm joining.  I cheated and peeked at my Amazon list and somebody did get me that Dwalt drill and the stuff to go with it.  My whole life I've never had a decent drill.  Don't know what to do with it, so why have a good one?  I really got into constructing those walls this year.  I'm going to learn construction!  You know if it wasn't so hot up on the roof, I'd be up there popping that nail gun.  Looks like fun to me.  And that drill comes with a tool bag.  Woohoo, I'm getting a new purse.  :hihi:

I'm all bubbly about that women with power tools thing.  How fucking cool is that?!  Not sure what I'm building or fixing and I'm probably going to fuck it up enough times until I get it right.  God damn the learning curve.  :hihi:

There's one other thing I've wanted to learn, tap dancing.  I've looked for classes for old folks but not finding it.  Maybe this will be the year.  Little worried about practicing, my ankles are weak.  I screwed them up with platform shoes and 3 inch heels.  As I understand it, my legs in 3 inch heels was a treat for a lot of folks but it left me with weak ankles and squeezed toes.  But how fun would it be just to dance with yourself?  Tap your ass out of a situation you don't want to deal with or know what to say, yeah fucking toodloo to you.   :hihi:

You've probably guessed by now, I've had a lifetime of dealing with difficult people.  Also known as catching trains with no brakes.   :hihi:  As one of my bosses said, it's a waste of my talent to take me out of that role.  Yeah but I didn't want to deal with that every day, sometimes I'm just too busy and you know, where the fuck are the happy, easy going people?  That's my tribe, clan and I miss them.  One of my daughter's boyfriends said it.  He was a troubled kid, little lier and probably a thief but it was the life he was thrown into and he wanted better.  He liked to hang with us.  Said something about he wanted to be one of us.  He didn't want to go home.  My foster granddaughter said it too.  Didn't want to go home "but I look like them".  Yeah, it's the clan you want to be in.  I have trouble finding that group too and when I do, I don't want to leave.  :D

Okay, it didn't help that I didn't get up till noon.   :hihi:  Somedays I just have to tell myself to calm the fuck down woman, your world is cool.  Turn the scanner off, get the to do list out of you head and relax.  Isn't that what you are looking for?

The little talk with yourself doesn't work.   :hihi:  Alert is still nagging at you, you're still up and running even though physically, you're sitting typing at the computer.  Anxiety attack?  They have pills for that.  :hihi:  But I'm going to say no, not what's going on.  Too much coffee?  Not yet, I didn't get up till noon and is that ever a problem?  Lots of open space on that calendar, did I forget something?  Possibility, always a possibility, but I don't think so.

Hmmm, going to go take a long walk among the Christmas lights and chill.  It's only in the 40's out there so of course I'm going to chill.  :hihi:  But it's with a group of people including Marsha and DJ.  :-\  I really just want to be all snug back at the house waiting for this to go away.

That was really nice.  The group had a chili and hot chocolate party before we headed over.  Beautiful night to be out walking in the park under the Christmas lights.  Saw some new fireworks I had never seen before.  Reminded me of a dolphins swimming through the water and then exploding at the end.  GNR should shoot them.  Also reminded me of sperm seeking an egg.   :hihi:  Hey, I was not the only one who thought of that.

DJ was being her hostess self.  Said something to Marsha about me being a blessing for helping with her garden.  Marsha chimed in I could be a blessing or a curse.  Just had to take a jab at me.  At least that's the way it felt.  I know I'm being over sensitive with this shit but can we stop cutting down other people as a joke?

Anyway, it was really good for Marsha.  I could tell she appreciated it.  We were looking at the HO scale train display.  One of the signs said:  Your wife is hot!  Show her you care, fix your AC.   :hihi:

We have a chance of snow coming in.  I have nowhere to be tomorrow.  I can stay home and enjoy it.  Of course it will probably all melt before I get out of bed.

My car remote is possessed. 

It all started with a trip to the gas station.

Threw all my shit in the car and sat down to have a smoke waiting for the cats to come in.  My remote is in my back pocket so when I sat down, the remote start activates.  Shit, the keys to get in the car are in my purse, in the car and remote start automatically locks the doors!  And the garage doors are down.  Running car in a closed garage, I'm going to die.  Thinking clear enough I hit the button to open the door.  Sometimes the open door button on the remote doesn't work but I discover by pressing the remote start button I can turn it off.

Get up to the gas station and my wallet dumps all my credit cards on the floor under my feet.  While I'm picking that up, the doors lock and the car starts.  Wait, where is the remote?  I can't turn the car off, I'm locked in and I can't drive home to get the spare set.  The remote is not in my purse, not between my leg and the seat or in the compartment between the seats.  Threw everything out of my purse looking for it again.  The car shuts off because it has been that long.  Okay, I'm going to check all of these places again.  The car is beeping so I know something I'm doing means the remote is somewhere I just touched.  And the remote start activates again.  God is anybody watching this?  :hihi:  I'm sure my facial expressions are going between annoyance and panic.  Finally I realize I'm sitting on it!  Stick it in the ignition so I can turn off the remote start and the car alarm goes off!

Got out of my car laughing.  Things went smoothly, got back in my car and drove away.  Wait, where are my cigarettes?  Of course they are no longer in my purse.   :hihi:

Guess I am a little chatty. 

God I haven't heard this album in years.  I have it on cassette and the album.  It's from 71.  Funny how I still know all the words.  Lucky it's up on youtube because I have nothing to play those on.  I was going for I Don't Know You.  It's got Henry on it too.  :hihi:  One of your jug band songs.  Yeah it's not any better if you haven't any weed.

For all the shit John Lennon got for Yoko Ono, he wrote her one of the best love songs.  Great video too.  Where does the time go?  Harvest Moon is another one of those.  Where does the love go?  Can't believe that marriage broke up and who he ended up with.

Okay, yeah the exs have popped up.  Don't know where the love went but it went.   :hihi:  Time to leave the love songs.  Strut out on the streets and freeze.  Do a half step.   :hihi:

It's kind of nice to be so old that you have experienced so much music.  Bad that you've forgotten a lot of it.  Gave a bunch of clues there to songs I'm listening to.  Can you name them?

That's the end of pinball league.  I took third place in my division in the playoffs.  We're going to have general play every Tuesday until they close the place down.  Didn't mention anything about a winter league but Heather did tell me she doesn't think the pinball machines are leaving.

Aww, Norman Lear died.  All the TV shows I grew up with. 101, wow, people are sure living a long time these days.  All that hard work?

My foster son surfaced.  He's been on a dive for the bottom for the last two years.  That's code for a meltdown and totally fucking up his life.  He's been MIA in a couple of states away.  His son was excited and hopeful, telling me his dad isn't doing drugs and getting his life together.  Just a general asking of what he's doing and it's pretty obvious the kid was told a lie.  His wife tells me, he is trying to get up the nerve to call me and his father.  I'm thinking really, he's playing the sympathy card?  He's still using.

I wish better for him.  Waiting it out and hoping he finds his way back.  I'm not expecting a call.  He doesn't like lying to me especially when he knows, I know, he is.  He can't help it.  He doesn't want me to think poorly of him.  He never wanted to be like his dad and I went through all of that with him.  But it happen and even worse.  I can't help him if he doesn't want help.  I'm doing what he would want me to do, looking out for his kids.

This happens in situations like this.  They make contact around the holidays, give you hope and then disappear again.

"No I don't have my ducks in a row.  I don't even know where some of them are.  And I'm pretty sure one of them is a pigeon."  :hihi:

He did call.  It was a rushed confession I didn't even ask for.  He just needed to spit it out.  He's walking in the right direction.  The underlying question was do you still care about me?  Of course we do, we were just waiting on you.  Says he's clean and sober except for occasional pot.  Okay, I can live with that.  Don't like it as a coping mechanism but he also has a lot of physical pain to deal with.  He's stuck where he is until August.  If he can hold it together, he can come home if he wants.  I'm not offering just yet.  I will miss my plant room but I'm always willing to give him another shot if he's willing to come out of it.  I'm willing to be supportive but I'm not willing to be used.

Said he purposely drove his car into the tree when the police were chasing him.  Somehow I totally get that.  It's from way back when but for a minute it feels good just to surrender.

Oh good, DJ can't come tonight.  I know what she would say about the Christmas call.  Was my initial reaction too.  I've preped the kids, we'll deal with it if it all goes south.  I won't let vanished hope harden my heart.  I always hold out and ready to do it again.  A harden heart hurts, an open heart still works.

I took the family out to dinner last night.  The boy got a pie in the face for his birthday.   :hihi:  Good to spend some time with them.  Time just goes so fast.

But I'm dreaming about that old, beater, red truck.  Why didn't I just make an offer when I saw it?  Oh yeah, it's a piece of shit.   :hihi:  Absolutely love it.  Hope it comes back to the gardens to visit.  I could use a little truck.  I think he said it was a 75.  Stick shift.  Don't think I can race around in that but I really miss going through the gears.  Missed opportunity of a lifetime.  Hopefully, I get another chance.

Hold on.   :hihi:  Okay the second conversation got threw the catching up and it's okay to stay in contact.  The rest will go easier.  Not liking that he quit going to counseling and AA meetings but plans to go back.  Or that being with his kids is going to solve his depression issues.  He's got some more work to do.  Not on solid ground.

He has some contacts with Dollar General and may get a manager job.  He's right, he has a good chance at that.  And wouldn't you know it, they are building one right down the street from me.  My place would be perfect for him to end up at.  You get two grown adults in this my small place and I go crazy.  He's also a slob.  :hihi:  He didn't learn that from me.  But it would be nice to have somebody here to watch the cats so I can travel a bit.  Somebody in case I have a health issue.  For just a little bit would be okay or rather I could make due but really, I don't want to be in the middle of this mess.

But it is a Christmas call.  Those rarely work out.  I hope he continues to try.  We'll work out the details as we go.  There's a way home.

Wow, I said I thought I was getting a new adventure.  Doors have been closing and opening.  Opportunities presenting themselves.  I'm getting my vision back!  All happening pretty quickly.  I'm wondering what's next?  It's pretty exciting.  On the other hand,  :hihi:, I'm starting to freak out.  What is next?

The last adventure was pretty good.  Got myself retired, the kid married and had a baby, got the gardens under my care and got to know my mother better.  There was some not so great shit along the way but all adventures have that.

Well enough about me.  Caught one of Pink's commercials for her upcoming concerts.  Looks like Taylor Swift type of a show.  Has she always done those types of shows?  Haven't seen her but I assumed she was more band performance then stage show.

Damn it!   :hihi:  Just when I thought I was almost done with those 90+ rolls of industrial toilet paper they gave me when I retired 5 years ago I found another bag!  I couldn't even give them away when there was a toilet paper crisis during the pandemic.  :hihi:

I have toilet paper issues.   :crying:

OMG  We went to see Meet Me in St Louis on the big screen.  The preadolescent comes in from swimming.  She's in her long white under clothing but it's dripping wet and you can see right through it.  Her budding breasts, her little butt.  Look, I have cataracts and I'm seeing that.   :hihi:  The adults in this movie are all covered up and worried about stealing kisses.  Excuse me but did you see the naked child?  And there's another scene where they pull off her shirt.  Okay, my little holiday movie was a shocker.   :hihi:  It's so old she's probably dead by now.  Might not have been a big deal back in the day but I'm thinking not showing that movie to sex offenders.

Yeah, horrible thoughts just keep creeping in there.  I'm wondering where my joy went.  I'm crashing.

Long drive today so it's time to have a little chat with myself because riding it out isn't working.  Okay, lay it out there.  Fucking money pressure, the gardens, the cataracts.  It's going to be okay, it's getting covered, there's a plan.  My son called, feel bad for all involved but it's going to take some time, we're okay right now.  You know, patience with those.  And the surgery.  It's a good thing and everybody else has sailed through it.  Anything else?  Little shit but if you have to think about it, that's not it.

Okay, when do you feel good?  When I'm busy, sometimes when I'm with people, when I'm physically active.

It was a long drive and a long chat.  Basically, I'm starting spring clean tomorrow.   :hihi:  It will keep me busy while I come up with a better plan.  People I normally interact with are annoying the shit out of me so I need some new folks.  I'm not ready to go back to the gym put push ups off the kitchen sink and planks works.  The plant room is lit up so I can soak up some light.  Working through it.

This is perfect.  IHop has Willie Wonka themed food.  Think I'll take my grandson up there for hot chocolate and purple pancakes for his birthday tomorrow.  He loves candy so he should like this.  :D

While Sondra was over fixing all my shit, she noticed I had a plastic toolbox busting at the seams.  She knows good junk when she sees it.  She brought me over a beat up, Craftsman, metal toolbox.  Oh yeah, that is good junk.  Mom had given me some Grateful Dead dancing bear stickers I had never found a home for.  Good size too, 4 inches tall.  3 across the back and one on each side.  My toolbox is so pretty!   :D  Sondra likes it, it's me and I've made it my own.  I'm wondering why I don't have any GNR stickers though?

When I can reach it, I have a "Where the Heck is Wall Drug" bumper sticker for the front.  It's from my free to roam about the country days.  You know where it is, it's just getting there, eventually, that's the problem.  :hihi:

That was kind of sucky.  Walked into the pinball room and some of the machines were missing.  Brian is selling them off.  He's going to keep what doesn't sell there until the superbowl then the place shuts down.  We will keep meeting there until then.  Did pretty well tonight.  Lots of multiballs and a replay on a first ball.  Never had the multiball on monster bash where they play the song.  No idea how many balls came out with that.  They were everywhere!   :hihi:  Brian thinks after my cataract surgery I'll make more of my shots.  Not so sure about that but I'm willing to give it a shot.  Yeah, but where?

Woman's tournament Friday night.  Of course there will be food and chocolate.   :hihi:

Watched it snow with the grandbaby.  His first time.  He was amazed!  Wrapped him in a blanket and we went out in the big flakes.

When I was in the third grade, we moved from California to northern Illinois.  The first day the teacher announced they were having a test over what they learned about California.  She told me I should do well because I was from there.  Freaked because I worried if I was going to pass, totally guessed at the capitol.  The teacher told my mother when it started to snow, she had to stop the whole class and let them watch because I was so fascinated, my first time.  I remember she let me go over to the window, big flakes coming down.  Little did I know I was going to freeze my ass off for the next 8 years.  :hihi:  But the first time I saw snow was cool.

Of course I have a thing with my hair.   :hihi:  I did get my yearly haircut but it was one of those things where I'm like just put it on your to do list and make the call.  I force myself to do a lot of things that way.  So I did and it's done.  I made up my mind to let Sharon do what she thought best with the statement, I need a style.  Since I quit work, it's not that important, I just let it grow.  I was a head of hair I just piled on top of my head with a clip.  And it had gotten so long the excess was starting to hit me in places I wasn't use to.  Gardeners are always aware there may be a bug on you.  The hair was freaking me out.   :nervous:

I am not good with my hair.  I have no talent in styling it.  It's fine and stringy according to my mother.  There's my mother's voice everytime I look at my hair.  She hates it long and voices her opinion whenever I have it down.  As a kid she always cut my hair into bobs.  Hated it.  Always felt like I had a helmet on my head.  :hihi:  And then there's the preacher voice, women shall not shorn their hair.  At the end of the long list of sins I have committed, it's going to end with "and you cut your hair".    ::)

And I'm blonde with blue eyes.  The butt of every blonde joke out there that says, honey you're stupid.  You know, pat me on the head and don't take anything I say seriously.  Apologize to every man out there you didn't get the big tits to go along with that look.   :hihi:  You get way too much attention from men when you're blonde.  Then you get your mother telling you you're not a good enough blonde, it's dishwater color.  Other women accusing you of highlighting it or asking you what color you used to dyed it.  You know, could you leave my head alone?

Anyway, it's done.  I was kind of afraid she would cut off all the blonde and I would finally be the grey you are supposed to be when you're old.  Sharon says you look at the roots to see your true hair color.  You're looking at my true hair color.  I haven't did any of that stuff to my hair color in years.  All of that is me, hard work in the sun, sun kissed.  So I didn't tell anybody I was getting a hair cut.  There's going to be comments, always is.  I didn't want mom saying, cut it short.  She's going to call it stringy, long hair once she sees it.  It's too short to throw up on my head and hide.  I've been around long enough to know what a head of blonde hair brings out in other people.  But it kind of looks like helmet hair, just longer to me.  Oh well, it's a style.  I'm still blonde, guess that means I'm not that old yet.   :hihi:

Which brings me back to, remind me again at what age I'm old?  I was told when I hit 50, I was old.  Don't think so, your 50's are really nice.  You let go of a lot of those thoughts that stressed you out and living is pretty easy.  When I hit 60, I was like this must be it.  Nope, I'm half way through those and my hair isn't even grey.  I'd like to say I feel like I'm younger but I'm better than that.  I'm stronger, I know more shit, happier with my life and in general, it's all good.  If it wasn't for the mirror, I wouldn't really know I was old.  Mirror avoidance helps with that.  :hihi:  I'm probably going to freak after cataract surgery but then again not looking at yourself through little magnifying lenses may not look so bad either.

I keep waiting to be old.  Probably my own little brainwashed thoughts but it's not what I expected.  Not that I knew what to expect.  It's like an unknown age if you don't have health problems or plan to live in Margaritaville.   :hihi:  One extreme or the other and I'm living here in the middle.  They don't talk about that just how to prepare for one of those.  I'm lost as usual.   :hihi:

Freaky shit from the dead.  More comforting once you get over the initial shock.

My friend's mother is very frail, has needed to see the doctor but refuses to go.  Yesterday she landed in the hospital again.  My friend and I are expecting a terminal cancer diagnosis any day even though this is unrelated.  This morning she was tidying up the car hoping her mom got released and she was bringing her home.  She noticed a small card and knew what it was right off.  The card from her dad's funeral.  He died a year ago today.  Says she's cleaned up that car many times since.  I know, I've sat in that seat several times since and never saw that.

Acknowledged that was a little freaky and I would take it as he's there with her for support.  Says that's how she took it. 

I got one of those vibes on Christmas.  Stopped by dad's grave before I went to mom's.  Last minute suggestion he come along.  Pretty sure he took me up on the offer.  As it goes, you don't keep the connection and I didn't think about it the closer we got to mom's.  I did think it was strange mom said something about and this gift is from me.  It's when she passed out the cash.  The rest of the gifts were from Santa.  I get her Santa gifts, got you covered dad.  She's never figured out I'm Santa.  She got a weird look on her face when she got her first Santa gift this year.  The deer repellent.  She was surprised and pleased but then she had a weird look on her face.  Surely she would figured out I was Santa with that gift but no.  She was preoccupied thinking something else and then she moved on.

It's just a flash like that.  You know but you're not allowed to hold on to it.  Later though, you're allowed to remember and put things together.  Like now. :)

Susan texted, her mom started hallucinating.  Old folks do that when you put them on hospital grade drugs.  The last time she thought commandos were on the hospital roof and coming in through the windows.

She texted back, it seems to be a kitty.

I had to ask, "the one buried with your dad?"

She couldn't tell but the current cat and the dead one look alike.

Okay then, freaky Friday it is.  :hihi:

Beautiful sunrise in Arizona this morning.   :D  Somedays I don't mind cell phones that much.