Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Dj Ashba - Bullying Survivor

Lead Guitarist of Guns N' Roses - Exclusive Story

4/16/12

My years of growing up in a loving household, filled will hopes and dreams, were shattered to pieces from the day I was born. All I can remember is being petrified as a child, not only for my own safety, but for my mother's as well. Every moment of every day would depend on my Dad's mood. Most of my time was spent hiding in the back of my closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound of violence coming from the next room.

Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wake up call consisted of my dad's fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the Shining. The crazy part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect. I even went as far as putting him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time. I can't begin to tell you the countless days of walking home from school, scared to death to walk through the front door. The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.

The real hero was my mother, I can not tell you what an amazing human being she is. Looking back now and realizing how she risked her own safety for my well-being. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire, "diving onto the grenade" so to speak. My dad would use me as leverage against her simply because he knew I was her world. To him, I was his worst mistake. Having my dad doing everything in his power to get me out of the house, even pulling on one arm and my mom trying to stop him by pulling on the other, is a far cry from a fun ride at Disneyland. My entire life since, I have lived with being mentally and physically abused. I have lived with abandonment issues. I have spent my whole life never shedding a tear due to me accidentally falling down the steps one Christmas morning. When I was about 3 years old, I tumbled down the stairs into the the room where my dad sat in front of the fireplace and started to cry.

Stockings hung from the mantel and lights shown bright through the greenery. My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don't cry. He said, "You wanna be a little cry baby, I'll give you something to cry about." as he beat me. Then, I would have to go to school and try to hide the perfect hand shaped welts on my body. After all of that, I would still sit up waiting by the window like a beaten puppy, waiting for him to come home every night. That is, until the night he never came home again. I became the head of the household, way to young for anyone in life. I grew up in the middle of nowhere a tiny little town called Fairbury without a TV in my house so, I am living proof that anyone can over come anything in life and still reach your dreams. Somehow I was able to bottle all of my anger and use it for my motivation. Motivation to do what ever I had to do to turn out nothing like my dad. Do I hate him for what he did to us? No, I have forgiven him, but I will always live through his mistakes and continue to become a better person.

http://www.bullyville.com/?page=story&id=4411&sid=4575


Thanks to Jarmo

Wow. I'm at a loss for words here. I have a lot more respect for DJ after reading that.

Dj Ashba:

To ANYONE that has ever been bullied in life, YOU are NOT alone. Telling this story about my childhood was not... http://fb.me/IY6NTQxg

A lot of unsuspected people have dark backgrounds. Congrats to DJ for getting through this and making his dreams come true.

Guns N? Roses guitarist DJ Ashba tells emotional story of childhood abuse

April 17, 2012

Guns N? Roses guitarist DJ Ashba is sharing his emotional story of childhood abuse for the first time. Ashba says he was physically and mentally abused by his father from a very young age.

?It has been hard for me as it?s something I have blocked out my whole life? I moved out when I was 16, and I never looked back,? Ashba told FOX411?s Pop Tarts column exclusively. ?But if I can help just one person who is being bullied, then this is worth it. It is such an important topic, and it stays with you.?
Ashba is embracing a new role apart from his famous rock band as the new spokesperson for the anti-bullying website, BULLYVILLE.com. ?I had to get involved,? he told us. ?I don?t get involved in things unless I believe in them 100 percent.?

In a lengthy personal account to be posted on the website, Ashba details his earliest memories being ?petrified? not only for his own safety, but for his mother?s too, as ?every moment of every day? would depend on his dad?s mood.

?Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wakeup call consisted of my dad?s fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the ?Shining.? The craziest part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect,? Ashba wrote. ?I even went as far as to put him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time.?

But the real hero, Ashba says, was his mother.

?Looking back now realizing how she risked her own safety for my wellbeing. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire,? he continued. ?The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.?

Ashba tells of the time he spent ?hiding in the back of the closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound,? and reflects on the time he was about three years old, and tumbled down the stairs, crying, into the room where dad sat in front of the fireplace.

?Stockings hung from the mantle and lights shone bright through the greenery,? he recalled. ?My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don?t cry. He said, ?you want to be a little cry baby, I?ll give you something to cry about,? as he beat me.?

Ashba said he has used his tumultuous past as motivation to be the best person he could be and, saying that despite everything, he has come to forgive his dad.
?I don?t hate him, I don?t wish anything bad on him ? nobody gives you a handbook on how to be a father,? Ashba added. ?I don?t know what to expect (from him) now that I have told my story, and I don?t really care. This time it is about me, not him.?

A source close to Ashba says he and his estranged father have recently started texting once in a while to work towards resolving their differences, and that the father has come to see him at performances.

Ashba?s father could not be reached for comment, but his current wife, reached on the phone, denied any knowledge of him having abused his son.

Ashba says that while he is working to mend family fences,?Anger sort of fuels the fire that keeps me going inside, and in a way, success today really comes from seeking approval that I never got when I was little. But no matter how big or successful you become, there is always a hole in your heart.

?I?m lucky that I am in a position where I have a voice, I can step up and bring awareness, and I wanted to share my story and be a spokesperson for Bullyville because it provides an online community and a place for people getting bullied to get help and understand they aren?t alone? But this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.?

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/04/17/guns-n-roses-guitarist-dj-ashba-tells-emotional-story-childhood-abuse/

bullying
Verb: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone)

Poor Dj... Fuckin Violence

 :-[

DJ - Respect

BullyVille.com Partners With GUNS N' ROSES Guitarist DJ Ashba To Put An End To Bullying

April 17, 2012

BullyVille Inc., the internet's first anti-bullying social website and media platform is excited to announce their partnership with one of the world's greatest musicians, DJ Ashba. Ashba, the lead guitarist for GUNS N' ROSES and SIXX: A.M., who has also worked with other influential artists such as M?TLEY CR?E, DROWNING POOL, MARION RAVEN, AIMEE ALLEN and NEIL DIAMOND, recently used BullyVille.com himself to reveal his struggles coping with being bullied as a child by his own father.

In a statement to the press upon signing his partnership deal in Las Vegas, Ashba, who was raised in rural Fairbury, Illinois, said, "I've had my fair share of struggles growing up in a small town trying to make it as a musician, but I want other kids and teenagers to know that they are not alone and that anyone can do, and more importantly, be anything they want... I'm living proof!"

BullyVille founder James McGibney said, "I know for an unequivocal fact that with Dj Ashba's voice and passion, he will help spread the important message of anti-bullying and make it a more prevalent issue within communities around the world. BullyVille is the first anti-bullying website bringing individuals and celebrities together online to share their bullying stories and offer support."

Dj ASHBA?

Dj Ashba and Ceo/ founder of Bullyville.com James McGibney. "Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love n' support. I am very proud to team up with Bullyville and do whatever I can to help bring awareness to kids, men and women of all ages who are being bullied all over the world. YOU are NOT alone and together we WILL fight back. Please check out http://www.BullyVille.com/ and follow @Bullyville Thank you so much, your support means the world." Much Love ~DJA

Photo: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=9525441&l=2c26ff27d8&id=208130482474

very sad. another common point with Axl.
not a surprise they get along very well.

I think it's 1992 Chicago

Hey thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9z6z7IGbPc

http://abcnews.go.com/US/anti-bullying-website-takes-shuts-revenge-porn-website/story?id=16174425

Been meaning to post on this thread for a couple of days. Just want to acknowledge Dj's bravery for opening up publicly about his traumatic past and using his public status to support such a worthwhile endeavour. I'll admit that I hadn't heard of Dj before he joined GN'R but he's such a brilliant fit for the band that I find it incredibly hard to imagine it without him now. And, having been fortunate enough to meet him on the last tour, I'd like to say what a genuine and fun guy he is in person too.

My admiration and respect goes out to you Dj and I hope this campaign helps children in similar circumstances to yourself to realise their goals and live their dreams.

 :peace:

Much respect Dj!! This is a great way for you too help others and too help yourself heal.
 I was bullied when I was very young and dealt with mental and physical abuse at home for years. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones. The bullying stopped and after years of abuse my Mother worked very hard too be a better person. I am glad too say today that my Mother is my best friend. We spent years trying too heal. One thing I would like too bring up is bullying and abuse usually stem from past pain. Remember the person bullying or abusing is hurting too. We all need help too heal. Again much respect Dj!! Hugs in the biggest way!!!

This was making the rounds a few months ago - DJ had to have seen it by now. He's put videos up of his playing. The guy from Mythbusters Tweeted it, but thought it was appropriate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFe8TBhLeQQ&feature=player_embedded

Sad to hear about your childhood struggles, willow, but very happy that you and your mum have found a way to reconnect. I lost my mum almost 4 years ago and there's not a day goes by when I don't miss being able to pick up the phone and speak to her. 

Sorry too hear that. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my Mom in my life. The old saying [whatever doesn't kill us makes a stronger} is so very true. And for good or bad what we go threw in life makes us who we are. Thank you Cyllan.

He had such a great charisma on stage when I saw him.  I never would have guessed he'd gone through anything like this. I really like this story. Of course not for the bad things that happened, but for the hope it can give people who may feel hopeless.

DjASHBA: JOIN US! TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE! http://www.facebook.com/BullyVille1 (http://www.facebook.com/BullyVille1)




/jarmo

Dr Drew on HLN is talking to the guy who sold the revenge porn site "Is Anyone Up" off to Bullyville.

What is the best part of this story is that DJ Ashba really gives a fuck, what I mean is he did not take any payment, not a dime for the post or the spokeperson position.

THAT is a sign he feels this is not only important but he will stand behind them in every way : ok:

He wants to help others

That is fucking awesome  :beer:

Hi all.

Kind of ironic that we have been given this opportunity at the same time DJ has talked openly about being bullied! Its shocking and should never happen! Please help us do our bit to end it!

You may or may not have seen back in 2010 that Ron & Frank came to our rock school in Oxford England.

Well the same team that runs rock school have written a rock musical called Stand Tall that is aimed at stopping bullying! It opened in London last year for a few weeks. This show has been asked to perform in New York frigging City!!! This it totally beyond our wildest dreams and it will spread a very powerful message as well as some damn good rock music!!

Bumblefoot has very kindly talked about the musical and its need for fundraising on his facebook and twitter

Bumblefoot - Students at the Witchwood School Of Rock (Witney UK) were invited to perform their anti-bullying rock musical in NYC in July, they're seeking funding to help get 'em there

We would be honoured if all you gunners around the world could make this show happen and at the same time say you did your bit to end bullying!! We are embarking on a campaign to get people to donate just one solitary pound to the cause and if we raise 35,000 pounds then we are going to New York baby!!!

You can donate ?1 by following this link. http://www.standtallmusical.co.uk/index.php/news.html

We would be eternally grateful to you all if you could do this!

If any of you are in NY in July please come and see the show - Its on at 45th Street Theatre at 354 West 45th Street, New York, NY 10036 between Thursday July 19th &                                                                                                                                  Sunday July 29!

Jarmo I hope this is cool to post!

Mike

It is a great cause.

If you do some work and contact the members you mentioned to push the cause on their communication channels, that could be a big plus for you.

Thank you DJ.  I just read that to my 8 year old son.  You are impacting lives in such a positive way.  Keep up the great work.
 :peace:

Hi Mysteron

Thanks loads! Yeh I have been in contact with Ron and he has promoted it on his facebook & twitter which is so kind of him!

Take it easy.

Mike

Dj Ashba is not only an amazing guitar player, he is an amazing soul. 
By sharing his story, he his helping so many people.

Much respect to him for doing that!

Evita

Every family now and then has problems, some bigger than others, nothing new there.

Talking about family mathers, I had the impression that I knew someone well but this person decided that I didn't. It was very impressive how wrong I was after! ~ Kiss away coincidental gunner ass (& religious random thereof), nothing complicated there too. Goddamn it, I always knew I should have remix me Better Nowdays, I am SO wise, whenever it rains, it just pours over me!! Hell, if I was going to pay attention to random families, I would have been lost. & never found! LITERALLY!!! My apologies if random, chances to be a person too (Kim)  & doesn't act (or react) in ways some cannot get (Kim). I should never worn that 'Kill your idols' T-shirt (Kim).

Thank you DJ Ashba for your move to share this !    

I had the impression that I had an exclusive too but I am SO Estranged, I surprise me so much when it comes to family matters, I had to use a borrowed alarm clock to wake me up before I gogo!!! (& thats forever.) & Forever is a really long time for not being myself just for whomever or whatever! What on earth? Even when I was born, the first Word of Wisdom by the chapter of Life (& Cosmogenesis thereof) was: "OH MY GOD! " 
 
Boy perdiento & bon voyage, I, Estrange, whomever he/she/it & Hallelujah to anyone who does really care about music, do ya? But, GUESS what I wont be told anymore?? Just have a random drive-by shooting wild F- guess, nothing too big or different, same ol, same ol , you know! Not in this lifetime is such a bliss compare to random ignorance of coincidental families who chanced never to be mine since I was adopted! Thank you, it felt like I am a TRUE bastard, yaaaheeey!    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbyShudL_lY     

^^^^ I'll have some of what he's had  :smoking: WTF

Sorry, but your post does not make any sense, and is not readable.

It is strange though how the bad things in life help us focus more.

Its all Ancient Greek to me you see, Mysteron. Lost truths somewhere there in between and without .

? Any of you uh? read the latest Rolling Stone? I was on the phone for a long time last night, and a friend of mine, a friend of mine was telling me how - SHUT THE FUCK UP!  ? ? Woah Axl, cool, Metal dude!  Rock N Roll! Party!!  Do cocaine, yeah!  ? I aint here for that. Anyway, there was a friend of mine who was telling me how, how some of the members of my family, and some of the friends of my family, have taken a great offense of what I said on this magazine! It?s a shame, what?.? Look, what he is done to his mother!  His mother can?t even go out of the house now!  It was amazing my mother couldn?t have gone out of the house before she 
 
& why is he talking about this? Because it might not happen to you, but it might happen to the 2-3 people that are standing around you, who got some fucked up family life which is gonna come back to haunt them when they hit about the age of 27. And then you gotta find your way, try to climb your way out of, what you thought was your life but looks more in your head like a FUCKIN car wreck that no one told you about BECAUSE, the family doesn?t want to be embarrassed by these things coming out! We just don?t wanna have to deal with this! And we should have to deal with this publically! But If we don?t with it publically, then we probably not gonna deal with the bullshit at all. & I bet they like it that way.

I am not a qualified therapist, I don?t know a lot of shit about this, but I do know that we are in the 90?s!

And I do know, that if we are gonna make it, for another 50 years on this planet, we gotta fuckin change our shit now! And there?s a lot of motherfuckers that don?t want that shit to be changed because that?s  gonna DIG up their crap! There is a lot of parents who done fucked up their kids to their whole fuckin lives, they are about 40, they are about 50 and they think it?s cool. Fuck that shit! And I am the last motherfucking person they thought would be climbing up their ass to tell them about it! But see, for me now, it aint about fuckin doing cocaine, it aint about how much vodka can I drink, and how much I can drink someone else under the table, it aint about what a fuckin? mucho man Rock N? Roller I can be! That shit don?t work no more, that?s great for little kid Rock N Roll fuckin bullshit but it don?t work no more in the REAL world for MY ASS. I can?t come up here and go:  ?Yeah, I am bad! I am rock and roll. And were are doing this rock n roll thing if my life is falling apart, I can?t fake it no more. Just because my family or my record company or somebody else tells me I should, so everybody could be happy or make money and er.. yeah? suck my dick! (Duff on bass:  * dung dung) Anyway! 

There those in my family who are? they plan now, now that I have, written these things, that, they are gonna get revenge! Because it was a terrible thing I did! ? We are gonna get Revenge!?   Yeah? And if a fuckin? scrawny little high junior high 90 pounder can finally get his ass up here and take this shit on, so can anyone of you that have the same fuckin? bullshit problems in your life, they don?t have to get away with it.

I tried been nice. I tried been cool about it. I tried like been friends and offered forgiveness and love, and all that kind of shit, all I got was:  ?You know how much we love you, but let?s keep the screws on and keep you down like we have always have! ? Guess what? I changed my point of view: For me now it?s kinda like, live, and let die motherfucker.  ? 

Axl Rose , 1992.


And as Axl said: " Thank you Detroit! You made my motor run!"  or did he say " Thank you Detroit! You made my motor hum!"   
20 years later, its live & let live. Grasp. & accept. conceptual. divorce. & Marla! I love conceptual movies of family soundtracks!!! 
"THANK U MOTHERFUCKER!!  I know U Better than all of your fam does!"      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAqoqxTs53w 

Does it bother you that nobody here seems to understand any of your posts?

 ???


I think you're after a blog where you can post your random thoughts of the day.

There's plenty of web sites for that on the Internet.




/jarmo

Here's a sad story (and from Indiana no less).  This kid is facing expulsion for firing a stun gun in the air after being surrounded by harassing schoolmates.  Kudos to DJ and Co for taking up this issue, which IMHO is much more damaging and prevalent than 99% of other celebrity causes.

http://www.inquisitr.com/232089/darnell-dynasty-young-gay-student-uses-stun-gun-on-bullies-faces-expulsion/

hmm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132672/Revenge-porn-website-IsAnyoneUp-com-shut-anti-bullying-group-buys-domain---new-owner-slammed-running-VERY-similar-service.html

INTERVIEW DJ Ashba

Guns N' Roses

7 Jul 2012

Bullying causes a multitude of problems for its victims, from anxiety to low self-esteem. Guns N' Roses guitarist DJ Ashba knows this all too well. As a child, Ashba would wake up to his father's fist coming through his bedroom door, similar to that of a scene in ?The Shining?. He remembers having convulsions whilst hiding from his father in the back of his bedroom cupboard . ?It had left me with a lot of issues, some of which I still deal with today. Experiences like that can stay with you your whole life, but the important thing is to become stronger and use them to help others,? he explains.

Given his background, it?s only fitting that Ashba recently teamed up with BullyVille in an attempt to stamp out bullying. BullyVille.com is a unique anti-bulling website where victims share their stories and attain advice from experts. Bullying has become a growing concern worldwide, particularly with teens, and the presence of social media networking. James McGibney created BullyVille and the site was officially launched on April 11th 2012. So far the site has successfully shut down a revenge porn sight IsAnyoneUp.com and has helped countless victims.

Ashba is passionately embracing his new role as BullyVille's spokesperson. Overcoming bulling can be a difficult process, and for Ashba, understanding that the bully is also experiencing anguish assisted him to understand. He says, ?Becoming aware that a bully doesn't lash out unless they are hurting on the inside, too, helped put a lot of things into perspective. Once you see that the bully themselves are being or have been tortured and bullied, it makes it a lot easier to move past the issues.?

There has been a dramatic rise in suicides associated with cyberbullying in recent years. Ashba thus felt compelled to bring awareness to this horrific trend. ?That is exactly why I am doing everything that I personally can to bring awareness to it. If everyone does their part we can help alleviate this problem. My advice to kids is ?Don't feed the bull. You can't cyberbully yourself-it takes two. Don't play into that game.? Bad stuff is written about me on a daily basis. I choose not to read it, obsess over it, or let it get me down.?

Ashba credits his single mother for aiding him through the turmoil. She put herself in the firing line and risked her own welfare for his wellbeing. ?I admired her strength, and seeing that she got through what she did helped me realize that I could, too,? he expresses.

Opening up dialogue with friends, loved ones or a counselor, can help alleviate some of the burden and hopefully lead to recovery. Ashba outlines, ?I'm learning to express and communicate my feelings more openly, and realize that when I'm feeling bad it's being triggered by something that is connected to my past. That makes it easier to let it go in the here and now.?

Ashba recently quit smoking, a tough feat for any nicotine addict. He attributes this to finally speaking out. ?The day I came out with my bullying story was the day I also quit smoking. Not coincidentally, the two are connected?.

Currently on tour with Guns N' Roses in Europe, Ashba recognizes that music has been an integral part of Ashba's life and aided him through some of his darkest moments. The charismatic Ashba explains, ?I was able, as a songwriter, to channel all those pent-up feelings into song. It was my therapy.?. At 19, he packed up his van and made his way to Los Angeles. Now, at 39, Ashba's epic journey has led him to sharing a stage with Axl Rose. ?The journey is everything you could imagine and then some. Sometimes it's surreal. Axl is awesome; he is one of the last true Rock stars, and one of the world's greatest Rock and Roll singers. It's a pleasure to share the stage with him.?

Indicative of Ashba?s positive outlook, he has forgiven his father and acknowledges that parents aren?t given a ?How To? manual when they have children. That step speaks volumes about his character, as does his capacity to not only overcome adversity, but moreover, muster the courage to speak out and utilize his own personal experiences to bring awareness to the cause.

http://www.music-news.com/showreview.asp?H=DJ-Ashba&nReviewID=8367

what a moving story! It takes such a special  person to tell such a raw life story like that, and to be such a survivor, and to have become such a positive person! wow, what a true role model! I am truly touched.