Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Let me preface this by saying that normally I'm not one to post emotional/relationship posts. Because I think people do it way too much and 9 outta 10 times it's just people trying to get some sympathy from someone they don't even know. However, having said that, I could really use your advice. Figured I'm better off posting it here than on some of the other boards I frequent since people here are pretty level headed.


Ok so here goes....

Me and my girl have been together for close to 7 years now and ofcourse we've hit a few speed bumps along the way but we always managed to work things out, up untill last week that is. It started out as a small argument about me rummaging through her stuff (while she was at work) to find some hairwax after I spend the night at her place, but it went spiraling out of control soon after that, which was basically 100% my fault.

For some reason I really felt like she was accusing me of not letting her have her privacy that really pissed me off.
So I lost it and came down on her really hard. I pretty much said some really really harsh stuff about her recently deceased twin brothers out of pure spite. So she told me she never wanted to see me again.
Which in turn let to me standing outside her house the next night in the middle of a fucking thunderstorm continually texting her that i would not leave untill she gave me a chance to explain(I stood there for about 4.5 hours untill 5 in the morning). Which, quite understandably freaked her out.

This is not even half of the drama that has been going on for the past week, suffice it to say I fucked up big time and I do not know why I acted the way I did. Temporary insanity perhaps?, I truly do not know.

I have never done anything like this before. I was gonna propose to her come january and I really do not want to lose her. Haven't eaten a thing in four days and have been suffering from palpitations ever since this shit went down.


So I guess I'm asking if there's a way to get her to talk to me again?




 

Do you want us to give you the answer you want to hear, or what we really think?

What you really think ofcourse, I mean I already know that I fucked it up big time and that I'm a total ass.

OK, if you want a chance with her, you gotta slow down on the creepy stalker techniques.

Give her some time to think things over and cool down.  The most you can really do is apologize, tell her you'll change etc...Inform her of your intention to marry her if all else fails, that will get her attention.

Obviously you haven't told us everything that has gone down, there's much more to the story.  But for future reference, don't make fun of the dead...

Good post Gary.  A buddy of mine freaking thought about commiting suicide cause his wife wants a divorce over some bs drunk kiss.  Well, he has been begging non stop, and nothing from her side, its killing him inside to the point he thought of taking his own life. 

In the end, you have a lot to offer to a lot of people.  Pick yourself up and live your life.  Don't freak her out, but send some notes/emails, offer to have a lunch.  Start out slow.  Explain how she means the world to you and would love a chance to fix your mistakes. 

Good luck bud.   : ok:

You were with her for almost seven years, there's no way she can just forget those seven years and never speak to you again. 

Once some women feel its over, there never any going back for them. Women can be loco.

You're not a bad person. If you were you wouldn't be standing in the rain for hours and going without food. Bad people don't give things a second thought.

Honestly, we all say a-hole things sometimes. She may know that you didn't really mean what you said. Total honesty might be the best solution. She needs to know what's going on inside your head, rather than thinking that you're just being mean.

Donkey from Shrek says you gotta try a little tenderness. He's an ass, he knows.

yes... good advice here.  I'd take a break for about a week, even though i'm sure it's killing you.  don't talk to her for that time and then send a simple message saying you want to meet and have a chance to explain things.
good luck man!!!!

I got a stalker! And for personal experience, those tactics won't work.

She was calling me, 'cos she was behind my door with a present and a wish to do some kamasutra, luckily, I wasn't home. But it's freaky shit and, frankly, quite distressing. And atleast for me, if a girl calls too much and wants to know where I am or what I'm doing all the time, well, she's gotta go.

Not that these things really compare, since my stalker isn't playing with a full deck. This whole thing is a lie with pink coating and black hearts and is only happening in her head.

And I wonder if she got anything to do with the bald guy who attacked me last weekend. I was taken by surprise and luckily the security was there and I just got a few bruises. As I see it, it's either by stalkers doing (last thing I got from her was a hate message) or maybe the guy just flipped.

I wouldn't like the idea of a girl going through my stuff, but if she was looking for some hairwax etc I wouldn't have seen any reson to make a scene out of it.

My advice; give her some space and time to cool down her anger, say you're sorry, kiss and make up. Right now, your text-messages and calls, are just a way to tell her you can be taken for granted. She can be mad at you right now with the possibility that you wait untill she feels like forgiving you. If she even does.

You can't win if you let her see all your cards, so to speak.

Thanks for the replies guys. I normally don't talk to anyone about stuff like this so it's good to finally get some of it off my chest I guess.


Now I'm not thinking of taking my own life or anything but I can see where your buddy is coming from. If something like this were to drag on for months and months than the guilt would most certainly eat you up alive. To be honest I find it a bit scary that I can see why someone wants take their own life.


She is like this and that's whats worrying me.
She once got into a major argument with her best friend and she never talked to her again, that happend 5 years ago.
I mean just yesterday I noticed that she removed me from all of her friends lists at those social networking sites, that can't be good right? Wouldn't even be suprised if she had my phone number blacklisted as well.



Yeah I haven't talked to her in about 4 days now, I'll give it one more day before trying to talk to her again. But as demonstrated by the above she's obviously still fuming. And you're damn right it's killing me, I've got a knot in my stomach the size of a football. Don't think I've ever felt this fucked up in my life before.

Write her a letter instead of going  to her home. 

And tell her you're prepared to go to anger management classes.  (we all know you don't need it but women like to see us make effort).

And remember, TIME heals all wounds

what the.. :D

Anger management? Yeah, go for it, and when you're at it, ask if there's some other ways to get under her thumb.

As far as the letter goes, top the phrases on the letter I got, such as "you're my Golden-Cupido", "God", "Light of her life" and "I wish from the bottom of my black heart that soon we'll be together"  :hihi:

A dinner or coffee somewhere sounds far better than a letter, atleast I got the feeling that my stalkie is just a desperate weirdo (and can anyone say she wasn't?),who was asking if she's could come over to spend the night for weeks and when I refused again and again, this was her last straw of begging for company.

Atleast by seeing her you'd be a man about it and if she doesn't feel like it, I can't see how a letter is going to help.

I have nothing useful to add...but felt thought you might need a quick levity break:

Don't you know the above tactic only works if you have a huge boom box held over your head playing cheesy love songs?  C'mon!  Has John Cusack taught the world NOTHING!!  :)

i think the first chance you get. you sit down, explain what happened, apologise, make it sincere. Tell her that you dont know why you got so angry over it but you didnt mean it.

I'm going to go against the tide and say that perhaps this is the chance you need to put an end to this relationship. I know a couple of women who behave the same way. They cut out a person completely from their lives over an argument. I've had it done to me too. That's a red flag right there. Would you be comfortable being with a person who is extra sweet to you but then cuts her best friend out over a fight? It looks like it's your turn now. Sure there are some weird friends you want to avoid, but this:


and this...


... sounds like trouble. I've never understood that kind of behaviour. As adults I expect people to work things out after a while.

Of course I'm not excusing what you did. A relationship is built around trust and you have no right to go rummaging around in her things and what you said after was OTT as well. What I'm saying is, we all say cruel things when we get angry. That doesn't imply you meant it. So you do owe her a sincere apology but you might also want to think twice about resuming the relationship.

^ yeah, for me for one, that kind of relationship, would be more trouble than it's worth. I mean people screw up, then they appologize.


I remember once having a huge fight over an explicit video my ex found on my cellphone, sure I could've deleted when we got together, but I wasn't about to appologize about her nosing and browsing around my pics, videos and textmessages.

I solved it by using lock-code.

I've been thinking about the same thing for the past couple of hours, however I fear you are not really taking into account how long 7 years of being together actually is. It just isn't that easy to throw away 7 years like that. atleast for me it isn't.



Hehe thanks that actually made me smile a bit.

Actually I did. I know it isn't easy to get over such a long term relationship, but the other side of that coin is she didn't seem to have any problems cutting you out after a few days in spite of being in a 7 year relationship with you. You should think long and hard before you do whatever it is that you decide to do and you can even take your time while you decide. You might also want to talk to her close friends. After all, none of us know your girlfriend, but they do.

Chill out and don't do anything rash. Don't delay apologizing either. Clear your side.

Her close friends? Let's just say they aren't exactly my close friends. I'm pretty sure they're doing their best to keep her as angry as possible.

Well I've decided to go with the letter approach, I spend the afternoon writing a really long letter, basically explainig to her how sincerely sorry I am and that she should at least try to give me a opportunity to explain myself. I also told her that if she still wants us to go our seperate ways after reading my letter that I would respect that and that I'm gonna have to let her go.

I've also set a mental deadline for myself, which pretty much is that if I haven't heard from her by this weekend that I'm gonna have to end the relationship myself. Because I'm not really sure how much longer I can cope with these stress levels which are really making me physically ill.

That's about as much as you can do. I hope it works out.

I think you're doing a good thing here.. hopefully she will respond to the letter.  I know it must be really tough, but do know that eventually the worst of it will pass on by, even if it takes a while.
Keep us posted!

Appaloosa. 

ummmm huh???

I don't understand why u got so upset u would insult her dead brother............. nobody likes someone going through their shit. i think u showed a side of yourself to her that freaked her out.. I Mean arguing is one thing, but going there is just almost unforgivable and then standing out in the rain till 5am texting her over and over probably scared the shit out of her.

U gotta back off. Write her a letter so she can read it on her terms when she wants with not having to reply back. Apologize, tell her how much u  love her and how much u regret what happened and u are willing to wait and give her all the space and time she needs.

then back the fuck off for a week or so and give her time to miss u.

good luck with this

(http://www.mypictureshare.com/img/p/t.gif)

 i have to agree, and i do understand that after 7 years it must be pretty difficult to let her go, so as many have said already, make an effort to apologize and to tell her how much she means for you, but there are persons that feel like its a good thing to just throw away relationships just because someone hurted them, and they feel strong due that. so if this is a one time thing and she is really hurt i say go for it and try to get her back, but if she is that kind of person be carefull.

I don't know why I did that neither, Hell I don't even know what set me off in the first place, because she didn't even really accuse me of anything, I just thought she was.

Anyway a little update, I ran into one of her friends today who still likes me and ofcourse I immediately asked how my girlfriend was doing. She told me that she has barely even talked about it and she seems to not really be bothered by what happend as she just continues doing the things she normally does (having a drinks with friends and stuff).
Now that's just a dagger through the fucking heart. How the fuck can she be so cold.

Ouch, that is cold.

I don't know, does she have sister?

Yeah she does have a sister but she is currently doing some kind of internship in Mexico. why?

If everything else fails, date her.  : ok:

Hehe already thought you'd say that. But if the way she's reacting now is anything to go by than I doubt that would even phase her.

Going through her friends also helps, been caught doing that and trust me if the first one doesn't help, the second one will.
Just make sure to skip the ugly ones.

EDIT: I doubt this aproach will help getting her back, but on the contrary it won't be that bad.

How old are you anyways?

If you've been together since like 13 years old, some people grow out of them kind of relationships.

But ive no idea how old you are. 

Yeah that'll be tricky, most of her friends are not particularly attractive.




Well the big three 0 is coming up quite soon.

In that case i think you just need to give it time and hopefully she'll have some time for you.
If she doesn't, how much could she have valued you anyways?

my ex acted the same way, it devastated me..

i thought about different reasons to why she acted that way and how she could be so cold, could never settle for one..

as jacdaniel said she didn't value you as much as you do her, maybe she was gonna break up with you anyway and now blames you for everything when it really was her

i guess there's a reason why men writes the best lovesongs

jacdaniel and cheapjon have a point here, ecpesially cheapy here, maybe she really was just looking for an excuse? Bitch.

This reminds of when an ex called me; I was out of town seeing gnr live for the first time - she called to tell she had just slept with some random guy and she didn't even regret it.

I did get the feeling she was somewhat trying to ruin the trip for me.

I knew she felt that we weren't doing that good and I honestly don't know her reasons for it. We had however agreed to talk about it when I get back.

So even if I was pumped of the gig it hurt like hell, that she'd do that, and I was searching for trouble but for some reason everyone who picked a fight backed away when I asked to go for it. Not wise, but when feeling like that...

I did get my remedy the next evening. That night I chose booze over chicks.

OK, now this makes me mad.

She doesn't even care?  Grouse, imagine if you're old and need help wiping your bottom, does this girl sound like she'll be there with toilet paper?

Oh no..it'll phase her.  She might not let ON that it phases her.....but it will.  Whether she still wants you or not.

It definitely won't get her back to you...that's one thing for sure.  But if you've given up on "getting her back"  and moved on to "getting back at her", dating (or fucking and then "publicizing" widely) her friends and/or family members will DEFINITELY phase her.  It will piss her off, royally...but it will phase her.

pilferk is right. It will affect her, but she'll never admit it.

I think all women affected by this 'syndrome' behave the same way. I have a story: I have two friends who were together for about 3 years and then split up over some argument like this. Both of them were my classmates in college, so I know both of them well. That girl behaves exactly the same way. Even while they were dating, she has cut off friends of hers for various reasons. After they split, not only did she cut him off, she went out of her way to pretend that the split didn't make any difference to her. She would hang out with common friends and make sure that he heard she was having a good time.  Now I don't know why they do this, but there you go.

Needless to say, the poor bloke is still madly in love with her and hopes she'll come back to him. He won't listen to reason. Although he does ask me occasionally: "Why is she doing this to me?"
Women. Go figure.

I haven't moved on to the 'getting back at her fase' yet but I'm feeling I'm beginning to.
I was just at the local grocery store and guess who walked in, she pretended not to see me even though I know she did. She had her kid sister with her so ofcourse I wasn't about to make a scene in a crowded store like that and decided to look the other way as well. It's ridiculous she's acting like a 10 year old.




Yeah that sounds scarily similair I really don't wanna end up like that.
That's why I've decided to make one last ditch attempt at talking to her tomorrow night, don't know how I'm gonna do it yet but I'll figure something out. If that doesn't work I'm done, I refuse to be strung along like that.

I admit I fucked up big time and I'm gonna have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life probably because I really thought she was the one. But I'm not going to play the game she's trying to play right now 'cause I'm pretty sure it'll kill me.

_{* Edit: I'm pretty sure I won't feel this way tomorrow, I'm just enjoying a moment of bravery.}

Hard as it may be, if she really is the way we fear, then you're better off having found out about it now, rather than when it would be too late.
However, you did say some pretty serious things, so give it some more time. It might be she's just still verryyyy pissed off at you. In the mean time, get on with your life and worry about something else.

Bro tell me u didn't fall for that bullshit?

Dude, of course her friend isn't gonna tell u she is upset etc

if someone loves u for 7 years, i guaran fucking tee they aren't normally going on with their lives. They are playing u dude to make u feel worse.

Revere the situation

say your GF asked one of your friends how u were doing?

If your friend told them the truth, she'd have the upperhand so of course they are going to tell u bullshit to make u suffer.


It boils down to this IMO

What u did was pretty fucked up but if she can't forgive u, especially after a 7 year relationship, consider your ass lucky u didn't marry her, cause no one can walk away from   a 7 year relationship that easy.

Exaclty.  if she continues with that attitude then its better for you to let her go.

and yes if she is the kind of person that wants to act like she is cool and everything with out you, of course she wont let herself being seen in pain in front of her friend that its also your friend because she knows that that girl could tell you whats going on.

Atleast my ex's friends told me she wasn't doing that good, in more than one occasion.

I've been following your situation since you posted, and tried to put myself in your shoes (My 7th anniversary was Nov 30th)... I had no clue what I would...

I personally think there is something going on.... Maybe she was looking to end the relationship, and this was her perfect out? I really have no clue how realistic this would be, since I dont know either of you personally...

If I'm way off on that, I think D is on to something here... If you last ditch effort doesn't work, leave it alone completely, FOREVER!!!

If she is looking to have the "upperhand" in this whole thing, this would totally put things in your favor....

If not then, well.......

yeah but u dumped her

so they are telling u stuff so maybe u will have pity and talk to her or maybe take her back.

its all mind games.

Ive been with my girl for 5 years and really if she killed my mother, i'd still visit her in prison

if someone loves u, they will forgive u for almost anything except maybe sticking your penis in someone else.

I hope that's not a hint. :nervous:


Some couples do get over affairs, so maybe as they say, for some, love does conquer all.

HAHA no but u get the idea

when u have been with someone that long and truly love them.. it takes a shit load to stop loving someone.


of course if your relationship has been shitty for a long time, maybe that was the out she was looking for.

Grouse your girlfriend is not doing OK. Somebody said something really hateful to me not so long ago, and it took me a month to recover. Saying hurtful things can hurt much more than a fist. When someone you loved and trusted wounds you emotionally, a person can have a very strong reaction. Give her some time, it may take her a few months but I think she will appreciate your apology. When I was in Australia I was almost attacked by a crocodile. My friend was not supportive, and it essentially ended our friendship. We had a screaming match in the Sydney airport. It was not one of my finer moments, but she didn't listen to me when I said that I needed to be alone.  What is that corny line, If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't it wasn't meant to be. Send  her your letter, then let it rest. I hope things work out for you.

I've noticed that you have an anger problem.

You can't be a true Axlite without having a little bit of a dark side! :hihi:

Well, the last ditch attempt sort of worked at least we got talking again for a few days. We actually had a great weekend even though things felt a bit awkward nevertheless I still really thought we had a chance. I was wrong.
We talked for 4 hours straight tonight and we decided that it was best to go our seperate ways.
I'm absolutely gutted ofcourse don't think I'll ever recover.

Anyway just thought I'd let you guys know, now I'm gonna take some sleeping pills to knock me the fuck out because I just wanna stop thinking for a few hours.

Sorry man. Maybe it's for the best.

I hope you don't OD.

You'll be alright.

Good, you're atleast in speaking terms now.

Think the possibilites, now you can sleep with other chicks and have that "for old times sake" with her  : ok:

Nah man, I don't believe in stuff like that. Best for her? probably. Best for me? hell no.



I'll never do anything like that but I have to say sleeping pills are a dangerous thing to have laying around the house.
I didn't eat enough before taking them last night and I've been walking around like a zombie all day today. The damn things still haven't worn off.



Bit too early to think about things like that mate. Totally not interested in other women and the thought of her being with another guy is just absolutely gut wrenching.
However I'm still going to try to get her to go with me on a little weekend away we had planned in february, just as good friends nothing more, nothing less (well atleast that's what's she supposed to think ). But on the other hand I don't want to end up like the guy smoking guns talked about on the first page. don't want to have hope for something that can never be.

At the VERY least, you should now have closure.  It might not feel like it right now, but that will help in the long run.

^Yeah that's kind of the problem here, I'm not sure what to do. Should I just sever all ties or should I try to get her to go with me on that little trip we had planned?.

sever all ties

Sever all ties and end it amicably. I don't think you're the kind to forget whatever has happened between you two and just be friends.
There's no point in delaying the inevitable anyway.

Depends.

Can you live with JUST being friends? If you can (and by that I mean..you can exist around her with zero expectation of anything more every happening...and you can deal with her moving on)...then by all means, stay in contact and be friends.   Keep in mind what that means though.  No "friends with benefits"....BOTH of you dating other people...etc.  You have to be OK and ready for ALL that being "just friends" means, and you have to be 100% on board with it.  Not faking it "just in case".

If you CAN'T be "just friends"...then tell her that and go your seperate ways.  Tell her she means too much to you for you to just be her friend. Tell her the truth, so she gets the closure too.  And then part company....no 3 AM drunken phone calls, no "I'm lonely" hook ups.  Walk away, say Hi when you see her in the grocery store, wave across the pub, but walk away.   Because NEITHER of you is going to be happy if you can't do that.  She's going to feel suffocated and stiffled and probably fucking uncomfortable as all hell.  And you're going to be miserable, emotionally needy, and you'll never ever move on...using her as a sort of emotional crutch.  That's just not healthy.

Both paths have some pain involved.  Both paths are going to require some "behavior modification" to get through.  But really...you can't half ass this.  You gotta commit to one or the other, and you've got to be brutally honest with yourself about which one you can do. 

hey man,
sorry to hear it.. i know it must suck real bad right now!!! 

in this case i'd sever all ties.. it won't be any easier for you if you see her again much less go on a trip with her. it will just make things worse!

I say piss on that and try to go on this trip with her... Whats the worst that happens? You guys dont talk ever again? Doesn't sound much different than if you don't go on this trip

After 7 years i'd never be able to be 'just friends'... I'd tell her that's what it was, but the whole time i'd be trying to get her back...  Think about it, how often would you be able to hang out with her before it becomes to much for you to handle?

I've actually done that a few times.... If I wasn't able to get back with them, our 'friendship' would eventually disappear... Not on bad terms, just kinda faded out


Go on the trip and try to get her back... Thats what you want....Right??

During these toughest of times, you need your friends' support.  They take you out, hang out, whatever...get your mind off your troubles for a little bit.

And then time does its thing.  I know it's a cliche, but cliches become cliches for a reason.  "Time heals all wounds."

Maybe not completely, but you'll be OK.  Right now, you're thinking, "Oh she was the one for me, there's no one better than her in the world."

Believe me, you will find someone that will make you forget all about this girl in due time.

Excellent post Pilferk, you got me thinking with that one.
There's is absolutely no way for me to be "just friends" with her. The thought of her seeing other guys, whether that be a month from now or 10 years from now, it's just too much to handle.  I simply can't do it.


However I can also see where Loaded nightrain is coming from:



I mean what is there to lose?, I'll never talk to her again either way. At least that's the way I'm seeing it right now.



Looks like you're a pretty good judge of character, I am indeed the kind of person that would never forget about something like this. I've also never been able to end a relationship in an amicable way, I somehow always seem to make sure that we split up in anger. Probably because I know that the anger is the only thing that'll keep me from contacting that person again.

I'm with Loaded NightraiN on this one.

Also if a girl comes to hit on you, and your ex is there, go for it - not all the way, but test the ice, you'll see if she cares

There was this girl I spent some weekends with, we met randomly at this bar and she ended spending a good few nights at my place.
Then my ex found out and went haywire on her, threatened with violence and I had to call her and tell her to cool the fuck down, I'm single and who I'm seeing isn't her business.

It made this girl a bit freaked out and she decided it's better we ain't seeing eachother. I told her fine, thinking she'll change her mind anyway.

Last weekend I was hanging out with the girl from photos-thread and this other girl was in the same table as we were. We said hi like we've done before and I didn't feel like there was any bad blood between us. I've been alone the last few times I've seen her.

While I was singing in karaoke, she had gone on how I'm bad news.
Jealous little thing isn't she? Good thing my date didn't care.

I can understand the desire to be together one last time... BUT You have to look at it from both ways. You are correct in saying it isn't going to make a difference, but the way I figure, if you do go with her on that trip and have a good time, it's just going to make the separation worse. You can't continue the relationship, so why prolong and intensify your agony? It's going to be worse once you get back from that trip.


Well, TBH I've done that as well and as you mentioned it is effective in getting over someone. Whatever works. I guess it is better than drowning in alcohol, as I'm prone to do otherwise.

genesis is speaking words of wisdom, grouse.. let it be

Why are you so sure this trip wont work??

If he does go and it doesn't work, he will be down in the dumps a while, and sooner or later there will be closure knowing he tried...

If he doesn't go at all, for the rest of his life he will hear their song, or see their movie, or get lunch at their favorite spot, and will always wonder what that weekend could have been like

I'm not saying the trip itself won't work, I'm talking about his state after the trip.


Nah, he's been with her for 7 years. He'll have plenty of other memories to torment him, rather than the thought of what one weekend might have been.

Although, I must say Grouse, don't go by only what we say, go if you want to, just be prepared for more hurt.

Those 7 years are there either way, so yes they will be there no matter what he does...

But like I said, this weekend will always be the biggest 'what if'




Thats what we agree on... Its up to you Grouse, do whats best for you  : ok:

'What if' what? He's already said there isn't any chance of them getting back together again. It's not like 'If only I had gone on that weekend and talked to her, we'd still be together'. No, that's not it.
I just don't think one more weekend of enjoyment constitutes a 'what if' moment of regret, unless it changes something for the better, which it won't.

I'm speaking in circles. I better stop.

Considering he never said that, yeah you'd better

I can say politely: Read the Fucking Thread.

Yet you cant prove me wrong  :hihi:

I'm sorry Grouse. It's hard when a relationship ends. :'( i think you have received some pretty good advice.

LMAO, Sin Cut, man what a legend.

(http://www.gamealmighty.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/wallpaper_duke_nukem_d_day_02upgnew1.jpg)

Whats the latest Grouse?

Well alot has happened since my last post, I decided to take the no contact route and after awhile I started to feel better. Right up untill I recieved a text from her saying that she wasn't sure about her decision and that she wanted to talk. I ofcourse stupidly enough got my hopes up.

The next day I was driving home from work when I see her kissing some guy at the bus stop and let's just say it was not a friendly goodbye kiss. I literally felt sick to my stomach, the anger I felt at that point was just so overwhelming that it took all my self control to not start kicking the crap out of that other guy.
I just put my foot down and pretty much drove to the other side of the country, called a friend who lives there and stayed with him for a week. The anger has now somewhat subsided but I'm dreading new years eve when she and I both will be at the same party and if she brings that other guy with her than I honestly don't know what will happen.

First fucking white christmas we get in over 25 years and I'll be spending it alone, just my luck. These are some really dark days indeed.

Damn.. she sure was fast, bro. This is why I make my move preferably the same night or day after the break up.

Well, you would've felt better about that if you would've, now, wouldn't you? "Atleast I beat her to it, that bitch!"


It's all about locks and a master key. If a shitty lock is opened by a bunch of keyes, well, I wouldn't feel too proud about having it, moreso, if my master key doesn't seem to work in the most cheapest locks.

Anyway, I get my x-mas spirits by working the night at the pub, it gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling seeing all the lonely, ugly and divorced drinking beer in perfect harmony.

I'd say there's better chances to score at a pub on x-mas than on a vd clinic.

There's a thought if you get lonely.

Grouse:

I know its impossible to believe this right now, I've been in your shoes quite a few times,but I promise you, this is the greatest thing that could've ever happened to u.

anybody who can move on that fast after that long of a relationship wasn't a keeper, and better u find out now, than living a miserable marriage


also, after seeing her kiss that guy, u can exhale now and start officially healing.

This is you r moment dude. your moment to reinvent yourself and to grow and improve every aspect of your life.

great quote from Fight Club that I love "Its only after you lose everything that u are free to do anything."

it may take some time, but I guarantee u will find somebody that will blow her out of the water and u will sit back and laugh one day and say "FUCK, i dodged a bullet" thank god that happened cause I now am with this person.

Very good advice. You could also skip the New Year's Eve party and hang with some other friends.