Here Today... Gone To Hell!

*note.....I'm not sure what thread to put this in.  Can't decide. Feel free to move to a more appropriate area - RazZ*

Well, it took a little time, but we've finally got the Del James interview up on IllitPress.com. The read is so funny, you'd think he'd picked up a pen before.

Who knew Del James was such a 70's wrestling junkie? Who knows if he'll shameless plug a short story with a GnR tie-in? And can he find a favorite word to rhyme with 'Chiabatta'? Well, you're gonna have to read to find out!

http://www.illitpress.com

Enjoy. I'm workin on suckering in/begging/pleading with/blowing one of the guys from GnR to get an interview with one or two of those guys, but we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'll probably just interview Jarmo...lol

July 2nd, 2009

Well, it took a few months, but here it is. We finally got our interview with Del, and it's probably funnier than anything you've ever read on this site. If I had money, I'd actually pay the guy to write here.

Alright, here's the 9 (was gonna be 10, but I've only got 9). I'm going to try and make them as nonsensical as possible. Why? Because they're usually the most thought provoking and humorous. Feel free to just have short answers, or go to town. The funnier the better

1. Pro wrestling dream match. Tag Team Title Bout Bea Arthur's Dorothy Zbornak from the Golden GirlsBea Arthurs's Maude from...well Maude Vs. the crime fighting duo Barney "Boom Boom" Miller
and Abe "Philip K. Fish" Vigoda, From Barney Miller. Who'd win the fight. Feel free to go into detail

Del - Abe and Barney are comparable to one of the greatest AWA tag teams from the 70's , Nick Bockwinkle and Ray "The Crippler" Stevens so the chicks have little chance even if they are more fiery and physically stronger. But ya never know... Maude might be hiding a foreign object in her trunks and that could be the equalizer. 70's wrestling was the greatest white trash soap opera ever invented. Some of those vintage matches and angles are better than anything Hollywood can produce today. Bruiser Brody, The Sheik, Ox Baker, Superstar Billy Graham... classic stuff! Nowadays, the best and most entertaining wrestling is Lucha Libre.

2. Scale of 1-10 If Axl Rose and Sebastian Bach covered the theme from "All in the Family", how much ass would it kick? (Bonus points for deciding who does Archie's parts, and who does Ediths)

Del - 9- Don't know who sings what parts but Axl plays the piano!

3. What's your favorite song by GN'R that isn't inspired by something you wrote in a novel/short story/poem/bathroom stall

Del - "Prostitute" has had a very profound affect on me and in a new short story of mine called, "Do Sunflowers Have a Scent?" I drop the line 'seems like forever and a day' as a straight up nod to that incredible song. "Do Sunflowers Have a Scent?" will appear in the Dark Delicacies 3 Anthology (alongside the likes of Clive Barker and Chuck Palahniuk) this September.

4. What's your favorite word that rhymes with Ciabatta?

Del - Hakunamatata.

5. What's the most pointless thing you've ever looked up on Wikipedia?

Del - The various lines up changes for certain black metal bands. Man, have there been a lot of members in Gorgoroth.

6. What superhero would you be, and why?

Del - The Devil. He has the best theme music, the dirtiest sex, coolest logo, evilest powers, and NEVER loses!

7. What pizza topping would you be, and why?

Del - Sausage.

8. Can you tell I had maybe two questions in mind total when I thought up this interview?

Del - I'm sure you'll come up with a bunch of utterly genius and history changing questions that help cure cancer and AIDS and you'll ask them of your next victim.

9. Which hurt more...The Billy Mays death, or the last time you heard Bret Michaels sing?

Del - I'm not a big fan of either but I kind of feel bad for Bret. I mean, who cares how big the ratings on Rock Of Love are, what about retaining one's dignity? Being a reality TV star is comparable to being a whore who after getting laid and paid is hanging around hoping for a free breakfast. With the exception of the UFC's Ultimate Fighter show, I pretty much loathe reality TV.

I sent a request to Richard Fortus for an off the wall interview. That got me thinkin. Which one of the GnR guys do ya think has the sense of humor for one of these interviews? I've got most/all of em on facebook, so I'll bug the hell outta the one ya recommend..lol

Del - They're all pretty funny fellas. Good luck!

RazZ

Ya know...if anyone wants to comment on the article...feel free...lol

Thanks, liked his comments about "Prostitute".  Good luck with Richard, or whoever else.

um, your site keeps redirecting me to shitty porn sites.

That's not good.  If they were quality porn sites, that'd be one thing.  But those shitty porn sites can wreak havoc on your cpu.

in that case i 'm not clicking  the link.

can't you kindly post the article here LordRazZ?

I've been spared the shitty porn sites, so here's the 9 quick questions.

July 2nd, 2009

Well, it took a few months, but here it is. We finally got our interview with Del, and it's probably funnier than anything you've ever read on this site. If I had money, I'd actually pay the guy to write here.

Alright, here's the 9 (was gonna be 10, but I've only got 9). I'm going to try and make them as nonsensical as possible. Why? Because they're usually the most thought provoking and humorous. Feel free to just have short answers, or go to town. The funnier the better

1. Pro wrestling dream match. Tag Team Title Bout Bea Arthur's Dorothy Zbornak from the Golden GirlsBea Arthurs's Maude from...well Maude Vs. the crime fighting duo Barney "Boom Boom" Miller
and Abe "Philip K. Fish" Vigoda, From Barney Miller. Who'd win the fight. Feel free to go into detail

Del - Abe and Barney are comparable to one of the greatest AWA tag teams from the 70's , Nick Bockwinkle and Ray "The Crippler" Stevens so the chicks have little chance even if they are more fiery and physically stronger. But ya never know... Maude might be hiding a foreign object in her trunks and that could be the equalizer. 70's wrestling was the greatest white trash soap opera ever invented. Some of those vintage matches and angles are better than anything Hollywood can produce today. Bruiser Brody, The Sheik, Ox Baker, Superstar Billy Graham... classic stuff! Nowadays, the best and most entertaining wrestling is Lucha Libre.

2. Scale of 1-10 If Axl Rose and Sebastian Bach covered the theme from "All in the Family", how much ass would it kick? (Bonus points for deciding who does Archie's parts, and who does Ediths)

Del - 9- Don't know who sings what parts but Axl plays the piano!

3. What's your favorite song by GN'R that isn't inspired by something you wrote in a novel/short story/poem/bathroom stall

Del - "Prostitute" has had a very profound affect on me and in a new short story of mine called, "Do Sunflowers Have a Scent?" I drop the line 'seems like forever and a day' as a straight up nod to that incredible song. "Do Sunflowers Have a Scent?" will appear in the Dark Delicacies 3 Anthology (alongside the likes of Clive Barker and Chuck Palahniuk) this September.

4. What's your favorite word that rhymes with Ciabatta?

Del - Hakunamatata.

5. What's the most pointless thing you've ever looked up on Wikipedia?

Del - The various lines up changes for certain black metal bands. Man, have there been a lot of members in Gorgoroth.

6. What superhero would you be, and why?

Del - The Devil. He has the best theme music, the dirtiest sex, coolest logo, evilest powers, and NEVER loses!

7. What pizza topping would you be, and why?

Del - Sausage.

8. Can you tell I had maybe two questions in mind total when I thought up this interview?

Del - I'm sure you'll come up with a bunch of utterly genius and history changing questions that help cure cancer and AIDS and you'll ask them of your next victim.

9. Which hurt more...The Billy Mays death, or the last time you heard Bret Michaels sing?

Del - I'm not a big fan of either but I kind of feel bad for Bret. I mean, who cares how big the ratings on Rock Of Love are, what about retaining one's dignity? Being a reality TV star is comparable to being a whore who after getting laid and paid is hanging around hoping for a free breakfast. With the exception of the UFC's Ultimate Fighter show, I pretty much loathe reality TV.

I sent a request to Richard Fortus for an off the wall interview. That got me thinkin. Which one of the GnR guys do ya think has the sense of humor for one of these interviews? I've got most/all of em on facebook, so I'll bug the hell outta the one ya recommend..lol

Del - They're all pretty funny fellas. Good luck!

There ya go..and not to worry...it's just a harmless ad

Thanks faldor. :beer:


no they don't.  the story must be interesting  for sure. i wanna read it.

 isn't the phrase 2 words? yea hakun matata.


 
thought so.

Hey..no splittin hairs on the Hakuna Matata..or however it's spelt...lol..

I had no idea he was a wrestling buff..and an AWA one at that..

i said yea no problem.

"Don't bogart that joint my friend.
Pass it over to meeee.
You've been holding on to it
and I sure would like a hit."

i use to see del at all the wwf house shows here in la talking to the undertaker.

Del has a great sense of humor. Glad you got him to do the interview. Good luck getting one of the other guys. My money would have to be on Ron doing one for you.

I tried with Ron a few months back, but his manager, at least I think that's who it was, said he was a little busy for the next few months...with the guys having all that work to do before the tour, I might need to wait a while. But yeah, I'm sure Ron would be the most willing.

Oh, and about the porn thing? The settings on my advertisements were pretty high, since the site really wasn't being used, and I just let it slide. They've been adjusted now, so it's safe to go back and read some rants, or what have you.

I sent a message out to Angry Anderson, hoping maybe to get one from him, but we'll see what happens there.

If anyone has someone in mind they'd like to see interviewed with the same type of nonsensical, pointless questions, post, or msg me, and I'll see what I can do.

And yes, J-man, your turn is coming soon.

haha nice one! thx

Tommy, get Tommy.  It's been too long since we've heard from him. 

Ask him about taking the mic out of Axl's hand.  At what point did he realize what he had just did? If there was ever any proof there's a close personal relationship, that was it.  I don't think there is anybody else in the world who could have got away with that.

didn't he give it back to axl?

we haven't heard from tommy since march. well the interview was done in jan i guess.


frank or dj. please keep them nonsensical and innocently funny!

I'll have to watch it again.  Maybe he just grabbed on to it and spoke.  It's the show where Tommy got hit with the bottle, had a little tirade and then accidently hit the cameraman in the head with his bass.  Just when you get all holier than thou.......  Yeah, you fuck up!

Oh don't worry...they'll stay nonsensical and funny in a bizarre, innocent sort of way. Interviews like that can really speak volumes about someone, instead of the usual "who was your biggest influence growing up." Unless the artist says Hitler or some homeless, pantless man he keeps a portrait of in the crack of his ass, the answers really only point out the obvious.

Now asking who would win in a brawl "Gene Simmons covered in mayonnaise, or Gene Simmons mother wielding a blowtorch?" Now that speaks volumes.

now lets all shot a load, , lol, all in harmony sakes.  lol

asking of whom?

 I'd go for the mum. mayo is weak in the heat. the oil would separate from the other ingredients in it. :yes:

most pointless interview I have ever read.

It was a fun interview. Del's cool.

Well Greek..that was kinda the point.  It was a fun, useless yet amusing way to connect with Del. What did you think was going to happen?

don't take it personally, to me it was just useless since i could not follow most of the topics that were discussed. hence the "pointless" comment.

it was more like a bar discussion and i am not that interested in Del James' personality. just my view though, i am sure others think otherwise. : ok:

That was Download Festival 2006, yeah he grabbed the mic and spoke to the crowd telling them if he gets hit with another bottle then he is off, he is here to play rock n' roll. He gives Axl the mic back, Axl has a wry smile on his face and nods and they get on with the show. It was a very disjointed gig up until that point due to the stage being slippy and sound problems and what not, but they returned with Better and the next 90 minutes were absolutely awesome  ;D

hahaha, my favorite GNR moment.