Here Today... Gone To Hell!

This is my last essay for i don't know how long, I guess until I pick up school again

It's about male and female communication, it's supposed to be in tomorrow, so yes i should've asked you before and started writing it long ago, but yeah, here I am..

What are your thoughts on males and females different ways of communication.. any examples?

The main thing I've learned about male female communication, in my current relationship, is that we both have to speak and communicate in very explicit terms or some of the most basic simple things get lost between us.

On the other hand, some of the more complex ideas need no words to be communicated.

i think womans comunications are more coded than a mans.

how much more school do you got?

I've read a couple of books on this subject, but now I can't remember anything.. It's a very interesting subject though.
You've got any sources at all?

I guess my best source is my mother, she says a whole bunch of stuff when she means something else  :smoking:

EDIT: I'm done with it now, but I guess people can still use this thread for funny experiences and misunderstandings

CDN, I'm graduating 12th of june but basically these 2 weeks left is all about getting drunk

Congrats on graduation CheapJon : ok:

If u ask a woman a question and she doesn't know the answer, she will say "I Don't Know"

If u ask a man a question and he doesn't know, He will make up a bunch of shit

Women's English:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

Men's English:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay
 
   
 
http://www.robinsweb.com/humor/men_women_really_mean.html

good ones lynn  :hihi:

msaxl43: thanks  :)

aren't they similar to some male HTGTHers English?

My late great departed dad use to say it best

The ways of a woman are far beyond the knowledge of man

I myself like to twist things around and go about it in such a far fetched way.

It's been working well.  :)

I have a good example, my gf is on a bad mood. So I ask her what's wrong and she replies "Nothing".

So I know something is wrong, but if she doesn't say it, I won't use any more energy to find out.

"Nothing" means "I'm very angry with you and you know damned well what you did.  I don't feel like I need to spell it out for you because if you were sensitive enough about my needs and thoughts you'd figure it out, you lunkhead!"  This is followed by the silent treatment.  This will go on until you expend enough of your energy to find out, thus showing your true care and concern for her needs.  ;D

women use far more non verbal communication than men, and read body language alot better.

Yeah, propably, it's either of something I've done, or should've have done. Or something I should do in the future, or shouldn't.

It might even be that I've been doing overtime and thus neglected her and for the top of that decided I've really earned to get drunk tonight :)

Strangely I don't get pissed off of those kind of things.  :P

I'm tired of men being stigmatized as primitive and how women are supposed to be so complicated and complex. They just say that to make themselves feel better about just in essence being tits and ass and never measuring up to men. Women are the dumbest, most simple people ever.