Here Today... Gone To Hell!

At the risk of making myself look like a total loser even more than I've already done in the past, I'm going to post a little story here in the hope that it will make me feel a little better.

Met a girl. Hit it off, a lot. Usually I'm a fairly intense guy in these situations, lots of texts, phone calls etc. She takes that roll this time, which I like because it takes all the pressure off of me. We go out on an official date. Goes great. Sushi, movie, back to her place to chill for a while. I head home, she calls the next day to ask me out again. I say yes, because I like her. She continues to call me each day and we have a short conversation. Things going great.

She comes home from work tonight and texts me that it's too much, going too quick, and she doesn't want a relationship. I respond with a "I'm a little confused here" and get a "I'm going to bed" in response.

What the hell?

And this sucks. My love life is an epic disaster most of the time, so when this progressed I was happy. And I liked her, she (or so I thought) is an awesome girl. So I'm kinda bummed, and I'm up late anyway, so I figured why not see what you all had to say.

they call it PMS cause Mad Cow Disease was already taken

she is a female..don't even try to begin to understand her, because that is impossible.  SHE doesn't even know what is going on in her fucked up little head, let alone you trying to figure it out.  Here is some advice..lose her number.  She is a head case and you don't need that.  Go find another girl. 
Don't chase, replace!

There will be no chasing. I'm sure I make plenty of dating mistakes, but chasing is not one of them

thats what im talkin about! : ok:

I definitely like her, but if she's dumb enough to flake on this, that's her loss. I'm not going to let her push/pull and fuck with me.

Still sucks though. I definitely like her. A lot.

Act like you don't care. It will drive her crazy

Sounds to me like she's been talking to her girlfriends who advised her to back off and play it cool and let YOU chase after her (i.e., do all the calling and texting, etc.)

Bottom line is that IMO she's playing some stupid mind game.  You should move on.

Maybe you could at least find out the source of her troubles first, maybe they can be conquered, well at least if you really think you like her, it may be worth looking into further :yes:.

Those mind games get old after, uhhh, the age of 16?

No place for mind games in "relationships."  (God, I hate that word.)

That goes double for men who are trying to act tough and be bad boys.

Just be straight with each other!



Gunner, just give her a call and tell her what you told us.  You have nothing to lose, I don't think.

^^Exactly!  ..and well said! :)

chick has Ex Boyfriend issues

should've hit it and ran brother


seriously

Spoken like a true male D  ::)

funny im going to have to use that '

No, Im not speaking like a true male. I am just giving this guy the right advice. If a chick pulls shit like this, she has eithe rEx Boyfriend issues or is an attention whore is just fucked up.

By saying hit it and run, that means, don't waste your time trying to date her. because she is going to be pure heartache.

yeah ... that's what everyone thinks "hit it and run" means!!! :lmao:

Typical D ... gets called on shit and tries to spin his way out of it

NOOOOO you dont want to do that...what if you knock her up? Your life is over...stay away from this one...When it doubt, get out!

what i said was slang for don't waste your time fallin for her


these are girls u consider a fuck and thats it but not serious GF material.

Don't waste your time falling for her but go ahead and get your $%^& wet, like I said, spoken like a true male D, quit making me repeat myself, and buck up cuz thats what you meant.  You don't even know what this girls issues may be, the guy kinda of likes her, don't you think a real man might just be a tad more considerate, rather than violate her and send her on her way ::).

she probably had a rough night and sent those texts in the heat of the moment.

leave her alone for a few days, let her cool down, then send her a message asking to talk.
dont persist further than that.

if she calls u back, then take it from there. if not move on.

a lot of girls are like this, yeah they are very annoying, the main question is  do you want to try something with her? i mean, whether to be your girl or just have sex.  if its yes then you should know that it will cost you some time and patience, if you decide that its not worth that then better leave her alone.

you know what they say "the one that loves the most in a relationship its the one that ends up losing"

if she finds out that you really like her then she will be more and more "bitchy".

dont give her so much importance (i dont mean to not treat her like you want, or to be a nice guy) if she tells you that its to fast for her, just tell her that  you also think so, that you dont need something serious, that you really like her but it would be better to have an open relationship.

i know its like if you were in high school , but at the end, people never grow up.

Whatever guys

I have had every psycho female problem u can fucking think of. I know a little bit about this

Dating and love isn't this hard.

if a chick is all about u and out of the blue starts trippin

something is definitely up.

After u get fucked over a bunch of times, u get where u can spot this shit miles away.

maybe she had a bad day................ Maybe her ex boyfriend called her trying to get her back

I'd bet big time money that is the case.

think of the evidence

chick is all about the guy. Very into the guy

then just for no reason does that?

now ask yourself

why would someone do that?

its not normal behavior.

and no, not ALL women are like this. U will find a small minority of women are actually like this.

U don't want to date a GIRL anyway right? u want a mature woman u can fall in love with.

I never fucked around with the girls who play games and are all about drama. those are the ones u booty call while u find a real chick.

Ok, here is u some five star advice


My advice would be not to call her or even act like u give a shit.

Girls are weird sometimes and the more u seem like it bothers u, it turns some girls off. U gotta act like u could give a fuck whether or not u go out again.

I don't like playing games personally.if u like me, lets go out and be happy. If i have to change who I am or act a certain way........ it just isn't worth it dude.

So unless she comes to u with a very awesome reason, I wouldn't waste a lot of time cause I am telling u, u will get hurt.

and after a week you see her with D.

I have to say I'm with LunsJail in this act like you don't care that much, that has always worked for me. And sure, ask her to hang out after a few days if you want.

D can be right with the ex-bf angle, tho by my experience most women who have a bf just don't care (and those ex's who came picking a fight were taught a lesson, fun times).

But there was this girl who I had some good times with, well, she never showed to party, which was fine, since I took another girl there, when she didn't reply (which could've ended to the scenario that both of them woud be there  ;) ) anyway, she explained me later that she had some unfinished business with her ex.

But, GunnerOne 84, if this girl does something like this again don't let her play her game, you only get treated as bad as you let yourself to be treated.

gunnerone84, you need to start listen to danko jones! and that goes for everybody

Danko's probably THE guy when it comes to songs about women, especially when it comes to girl that treats you bad and drive you crazy, but also girls who treat you good, check 'em out

I must say I agree with D on a few things

I've met girls like that, but of course it's not just women that have ex-issues, it goes for men too

I guess garry gave the best advice though..

You have nothing to lose, If she aint ready nor want it, it's her loss man. nekomex and $$$$ also had valid points, shit is hard but always be straight with how you feel

I'm not gonna defend D...he can do that by himself.

But on the flip side of your argument, don't you think a "real woman" would be a tad more considerate and not lead the guy on and then, proverbially, kick him in the nuts when he shows interest?

It goes both ways, don't it?

Look, here's the rub..there are 3 possibilities here, none of them great:

1) She's serious about the whole "moving too fast, I don't want a relationship" thing, in which case, if YOU do (and by your post I'm assuming that's the case) you leave her alone and move on

2)  She's playing head games with you, for WHATEVER reason, in which case, if you're looking for a relationship, this is NOT the girl you want to be with, and you should move on.  Trust me.  Move on now and avoid the drama and BS later

3) She met someone else, has an ex-boyfriend issue...whatever....in which case you want to move on, for obvious reasons.

If you REALLY want to pursue it...don't.  Lose her number and wait on her.  If she comes back from "the great flakeout", during the first phone call, text conversation, face to face...make it quite clear you're not going to play head games.  No "who's chasing who", no "where do we stand", no "I want you, I don't want you".  That's all bullshit.  Let her know that you don't need to jump straight into a relationship..that's fine...but you do need to be honest and open with each other.

my bet is 1)

she is not sure about being on intimate terms with anyone too quickly.

as in patience
"Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience"

it that what you do D?
Telling someone to use someone is never 'good advice'. It is bad enough that it does happen all the time with men who actually think like that..it was an inappropriate and offensive post.I usually do not expect you to stoop so low. :-\

I am sorry to hear you had a rough time but when she texted back 'i'm going to bed' I LMAO

How is it stooping low?

If the girl is playing games with him and using him to get over an Ex Boyfriend, that shit is fair game. I'd flip the script on her, get what I could get and not get my heart involved.


Here is why I don't think Pilferk's number 1 is the case.


She called him, texted him, asked him out. She showed the interest.

If he were calling her, texting her, than yeah, I'd give u the too fast scenario


she sounds like a chick who recently broke up with someone and she isn't quite over the guy.



I would never endorse using a chick for sex if she was the real thing but if a girl is playing u, she is fair game in my book.

i dont need to defend anyone, but i dont think he is talking about using the girl, she is the one that said that its going to fast and probably playing mind games, he is not talking about telling lies to the girl and then go sleep with her and leave her.   

thats why i said that the guy could proposed her to have an open relationship, no attachments.

(http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/petros42/Borat-VeryNice.jpg)

Sounds very scary :nervous:.

he's an STD waiting to happen ;D

My plan was to drop the whole thing, because I don't do the games and I don't like drama.

Then I got really drunk last night and texted her. She called this morning but I was at work and I missed the call. Who knows what she wants.

But sober, she seems like a headcase to me and I don't need that. It had just been a while since I had met someone that I actually clicked with, so I was kinda bummed.

WWARD

but what about the co-worker? and the myspace singer? those weren't long ago.

Co-worker and I went the friends route. Which is no sweat, she's cool and it's just how it is. Myspace singer and I got along, but never went anywhere romantically. Again, no big deal. She was cute, but no real sparks. The girl last week, there were sparks. And it turns out she's a headcase, so what are you gonna do? I got phone calls from her drunk at 3 am last night, which I really don't need. I'm over it at this point.

Who knows what women are after when they call you intoxicated around 3 am?

I do.

TELL US! :o

Pretty much the same thing that just happened to me.

so do I! :idea:

They want to whine about their co workers, as how one is fake and the other is boneless and she can't stand another.

All of these are good hypotheses. But perhaps the best thing to do would be to stop worrying about what she is thinking and get on with your life.

Not meaning to sound harsh and unsympathetic (I know first hand how much it sucks when 'great' girl flakes out), but there are zillions of possible reasons why she could be acting this way, most of which have nothing to do with 'Gunnerone84'.

Could she explain 'why' she did this. Probably not. It's generally accepted that women are more in tune with the emotional part of their brain, and therefore her logic may tend to be more 'fluid' than that of a typical man. And, let's be honest, can any of us (men or women) explain why we do half of the stuff we do?

So, my advice to 'Gunnerone84', and to all of you having realtionship trouble, is to stop worrying about what the your other half is thinking, don't take it too personally and, as 'Pilferk' suggested, talk to them openly and honestly about your issues.

Good night, god speed and good luck.