Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Only on FauxNews of course:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,337232,00.html


Kansas Police: Woman Pried From Boyfriend's Toilet After Sitting on It for 2 Years

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

WICHITA, Kan.  ?  Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,"' Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.

The case has been the buzz Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

 ???

This world is full of sick people! just ask slcpunk.

I call bullshit. 2 years, I doubt it.

Time for an Axl joke...shit or get off the pot! Yes I know, too easy.

so if CDe would continue to hold his penis for one more year they'll "grow together"

i dont get how she survived sitting on the toilet. with no food. i mean how was the guy supposed to take a shit if she was sitting on it. this has gotta be fake.

Well, you know,


, it usually pays to read more than just the headline. That's just a general tip for life right there. On the house!

hmm you almost had me....BUT theres still the point on how hes ment to take a shit with her on it ;) :hihi:

Maybe they are Posh and have 2.

Or alternatively they are the complete opposite and he just hung out the window....

This is the weirdest story I've read in a while.


That about sums it up.

Are you crazy? Nobody has 2 toilets in their place.  :hihi:

i dont have two toilets in my house and i wouldnt consider myself to be in a poor environment.

Even then, I'm not sure that an outhouse counts as having a toilet "in" your house.

I actually have a toilet in my bedroom. Well, you know, en suite an' all that. But don't worry!, that gives a far more flattering view of the house than what the shit hole is actually like.

I'll take a knee-high window any day.

Perfect level to sit down (and out!) on?

Yeah, but it's got more to do with the liberation feelin'. You know, people are walking on that street.

It's not all that uncommon to find a house or apartment with two bathrooms. Or like one and a half bathrooms.

I have two toilets in my house. Anyone with less than 2 is quite frankly poor and not worth my time.

I don't think it's possible to sit on a toilet seat for two years straight.  ??? Imagine the pain it would cause! And the smell, if she never got up to take a shower...?

Yeah, there is no way. DVTs would soon set in resulting in a pulmonary embolism, then death.

yeah....what he said, jim!